Glad to have you with us

You double check your cell phone. Last night you were angry. Today you've downgraded to extremely nervous. You read the text that your hiring manager sent you: > Sorry I won't be able to make it to your first day! But don't worry, today will mostly be onboarding stuff anyway. But look, it's dangerous to go alone. Well not dangerous really... it's more... Anyway, be sure and download {(if: $employeeManual's isCarried is false)[ (link: "this")[(set: $selectedItem to $employeeManual)(goto: "Item Description")] ](else:)[the employee manual]}. You stare up at the glass skyscraper that looms before you. It completely blocks the mid-morning sun and you stand in it's shadow. You shiver a little. {(if: $employeeManual's isCarried is false)[ (link: "Download employee manual")[(set: $selectedItem to $employeeManual, $employeeManual's isCarried to true)(goto: "Acquire Item")] ]} [[Head inside->Foyer]]

{(set: $back to (history:)'s last)} (display: "Clock") {(if: $peopleNumber > 0)[ You go to the photobadge station and stand in line. There (link: "are 3 people")[(set: $peopleNumber to 2, $time to it + 0.15)(link: "are 2 people")[(set: $peopleNumber to 1, $time to it + 0.15)(link: "is 1 person")[(set: $peopleNumber to 0, $time to it + 0.15)(show:?cloaked)are 0 people]]] in front of you. {|cloaked)[ When you get to the front of the line, you see a man with a name badge that reads "Al." "Glad to have you with us," he says flatly, as though reading from a script. He points to the empty chair in front of the camera equipment. "Take a seat." You sit down. He gets behind the camera and begins to fiddle. As you sit and wait, you look around and your eyes land on a [[sign about the photo badge->Sign]]. {(if: $employeeManual's isCarried is true)[ (link: "Check employee manual")[(set: $selectedItem to $employeeManual, $selectedManualPassage to "badgePhotoTaker")(goto: "Manual Passages")] ]} [[Chat with Al]] [[Sit in silence]] ]} ](else:)[ {(if: $badge's photographerRelationship < 5)[ Al gives you a small wave. "Let me know if you want to go out and take some pictures around the campus sometimes," he says, looking at you while he snaps a shot of a poor person who is picking their ear. ] (else:)[ "No do overs," Al says testily. ] [[Return->Conference Room]] ]}

{(set: $back to (history:)'s last)} (display: "Clock") {(if: $itPeopleNumber > 0)[ You go to the IT station and stand in line. There (link: "are 5 people")[(set: $itPeopleNumber to 4, $time to it + 0.15)(link: "are 4 people")[(set: $itPeopleNumber to 3, $time to it + 0.15)(link: "are 3 people")[(set: $itPeopleNumber to 2, $time to it + 0.15)(link: "are 2 people")[(set: $itPeopleNumber to 1, $time to it + 0.15)(link: "is 1 person")[(set: $itPeopleNumber to 0, $time to it + 0.15)(show:?cloaked)0 people]]]]] in front of you. ]} |cloaked)[ You sidle up the line of tables serving as desks. A woman in an ill-fitting polo shirt and a badge that reads "Jen" becons you over. Her hair is pulled back and she is typing into a sleek laptop. She barely looks at you. But you are getting major bad vibes from her. "Glad to have you with us," she says, not looking at you at all. {(if: $employeeManual's isCarried is true)[ (link: "Check employee manual")[(set: $selectedItem to $employeeManual, $selectedManualPassage to "itPerson")(goto: "Manual Passages")] ]} [[Ask Jen how her day is going->Chat with Jen]] {(if: $snacks's isCarried is true)[[[Offer Jen the candy bar]]]} (link: "Return")[(set: $itPeopleNumber to 5)(goto: "Conference Room")] ]

{(set: $back to (history:)'s last)} (display: "Clock")

Double-click this passage to edit it.

{(set: $employeeManual to (datamap: "name", "employee manual", "description", "A digital copy of the employee handbook. Your boss thinks you'll need it. But who has ever read one of these things. Still, it's a bit odd. The cover of it reads 'Don't Panic.'", "isCarried", false, "pickupText", "Well, it's only taking up space on your phone. It certainly doesn't hurt to have it. You take a minute to download it before you head in.", "firstStep", "When starting at a new place, always start at reception. Receptionists are a special breed of employee. They know everything. But never ask how they know. It's considered terribly bad manners and will probably offend them.", "conferenceRoom", "Many organizations have what is called employee <del>water</del>onboarding. The purpose of these activities is to acclimate employees to the organization one time, all at once, and then leave them to flounder. These activities can take on many forms, but the most common by far is to throw lots of people into a room and allow them to mill about until they find their way through various 'stations'. The recommended progression through these stations is the photo badge station, follow by...[text is garbled]", "badgePhotoTaker", "The badge photo taker is exceedingly rare. They are 'into photography' and have been known to show favor to those who will have long, drawn out conversations about photography equipment. And by 'conversation,' we mean smile and nod.", "hrPerson", "The typical specimen of an HR person is the Linda. Every human resources organization in the world is replete with Lindas. For those unfortunate few with a different name, it can be a very sensitive topic.", "itPerson", "The IT person is a common enough creature in organizations, though they are rarely seen outside of their own habitats. They each have their own personalities, so tread carefully when broaching conversation. Offerings in the form of cupcakes, candy bars, and other treats are often a successful way to gain entry into their communities.", ), $selectedItem to "", $back to "", $selectedManualPassage to "", $badge to (datamap: "name", "photo badge", "description", "", "isCarried", false, "pickupText", "", "photographerRelationship", 5, ), $snack to (datamap: "name", "candy bar", "description", "It's a swirling wonderland of sparkling, white pleasure. Let it fill your senses with cascading fluffy pillows of confort and excitement as you have never felt before... At least that's what it says on the wrapper.", "isCarried", false, "pickupText", "You pick up the candy bar and put it in your pocket.", ), $gadget to (datamap: "name", "gadget", "description", "The gadget is sleek and fits beautifully in your hand. As you examine it, you can't help but see it as a breakthrough Internet communications device.", "isCarried", false, "pickupText", "You put the phone into your pocket, noting how well it fits.", ), $time to 9, $peopleNumber to 3, $itPeopleNumber to 5, )}

{(set: $back to (history:)'s last)} (print: $selectedItem's description) (link-goto: "Return", $back)

{(set: $back to (history:)'s last)} (print: $selectedItem's pickupText) (link-goto: "Return", $back)

The air conditioning is on full blast. You button up and stick your hands in your pockets. The foyer to the building is like some futuristic prison. The aesthetic is solidly industrial: metal, glass, and wood. To the west is a line of gates and a wave of people badging in. A line of black clad security employees observe the proceedings. To the east is a large room, the outside and floor-to-ceiling double doors painted black. There's a reception desk and a big orange arrow pointing to the large room that reads, "Onboarding." {(if: $employeeManual's isCarried is true)[ (link: "Check employee manual")[(set: $selectedItem to $employeeManual, $selectedManualPassage to "firstStep")(goto: "Manual Passages")] ]} [[Go to reception->Reception]] [[Enter the room->Conference Room]]

(display: "Clock") There's a nice-looking middle-aged woman sitting at reception. She leans forward as she sees you approach. Behind her is a contraption (a vending machine?) full of gadgets, snacks, and other sundry items. "Welcome," she says enthusiastically. "I notice you don't have a badge. You must be new. Glad to have you with us!" She leans forward even more and whispers conspiratorially. "You'll need supplies if you want to make it through your first day here. I can help you out." She thumbs to the machine behind her. She also seems willing to chat and maybe even offer advice. [[Ask for advice]] [[Ask for a snack]] [[Ask for a gadget]] [[Leave reception->Foyer]]

You enter the room, the doors heavy in your hands. You see three stations, two in front of you on either side of a large stage and one one the second floor, up a long flight of black metal stairs. {(if: $employeeManual's isCarried is true)[ (link: "Check employee manual")[(set: $selectedItem to $employeeManual, $selectedManualPassage to "conferenceRoom")(goto: "Manual Passages")] ]} {(if: $badge's isCarried is false)[[[Go to photobadge station->Photobadge Station]]]} [[Enter the IT station->IT Station]] [[Enter the HR station->HR Station]] [[Leave the room->Foyer]]

{(set: $back to (history:)'s last, $time to it + 0.15)} (display: "Clock") {(if: (count: (history:), "Ask for advice") is 0)[You know, time is precious. They usually end the day for new employees by 3 o'clock so they can meet with their team. You'll want to be done with all of the onboarding activities by then.] (elseif: (count: (history:), "Ask for advice") is 1)[Tread carefully with Steve, the HR guy. If you upset him, it'll take ages to calm him down.] (elseif: (count: (history:), "Ask for advice") is 2)[Yasmin, might seem completely shut down, but all you need to do is wave a new gadget in front of her face.] (elseif: (count: (history:), "Ask for advice") > 2)[That's all I got for ya, friend.]} (link-goto: "Return", $back)

{(set: $back to (history:)'s last, $time to it + 0.15)} (display: "Clock") "I'd like one of those snacks," you say, reaching for your wallet. {(if: $badge's isCarried is false)[She stops you. "We don't deal in money here honey. You'll need to get your badge and use badgeBucks.] (else:)[ "Sure thing," she says and types something into a keypad on the machine. She puts a candy bar on the desk. "This is what you want," she says with an air of mystery, "Trust me." ]} {(if: $badge's isCarried is true)[ (link: "Examine the candy bar")[(set: $selectedItem to $snack)(goto: "Item Description")] (link: "Take the candy bar")[(set: $selectedItem to $snack)(set: $snack's isCarried to true)(goto: "Acquire Item")] ]} (link-goto: "Return", $back)

{(set: $back to (history:)'s last, $time to it + 0.15)} (display: "Clock") {(if: $badge's isCarried is false)["I'd like one of those gadgets," you say, reaching for your wallet. She stops you. "We don't deal in money hear, honey. You'll need to get your badge and use badgeBucks."] (else:)[ "I'd like one of those gadgets," you say, flashing your badge and grimacing. "Sure thing," she says, chuckling and types something into a keypad on the machine. She hands you a shiny gadget, all metal and glass. It's almost hypnotic. "This is what you want," she says with an air of mystery, "Trust me." ]} {(if: $badge's isCarried is true)[ (link: "Examine the gadget")[(set: $selectedItem to $gadget)(goto: "Item Description")] (link: "Take the gadget")[(set: $selectedItem to $gadget)(set: $gadget's isCarried to true)(goto: "Acquire Item")] ]} (link-goto: "Return", $back)

{(set: $back to (history:)'s last)} (print: $selectedItem's $selectedManualPassage) (link-goto: "Return", $back)

The sign reads, "Keep your photo badge on you at all times. Your photo will stay with you for 2 years. So, smile!" (link-goto: "Return", $back)

(display: "Clock") {(if: $badge's isCarried is false)[ {(set: $badge's photographerRelationship to 10, $time to it + 0.5, $badge's description to "A sleek, rectangular badge. Minimal, fitted with an RFID chip. And on the front is printed the best photo you've ever taken. Seriously, the best photo. Ever. A little tear slides down your cheek.", $badge's pickupText to "You pick up the badge reverently and connect it to the lanyard that came with it. You put it around your neck proudly.")} You start a conversation with Al as he sets up the equipment and lights. "How do you like your camera?" you begin haltingly, "I've been thinking of getting some new gear." Al stops his actions and gives you a wide smile. For the next half hour he waxes poetic about DSLR, zoom lenses, and other camera paraphenalia as the line behind you gets ever longer and the other new hires begin to resemble zombies from waiting and lack of coffee. Finally, Al sets you up carefully, directing and instructing you to make sure your photo is amazing. The lights flash. (link: "You wait for the badge to be printed.")[(set: $time to it + 0.5)(show:?cloaked)] |cloaked)[ (link: "Examine the badge")[(set: $selectedItem to $badge)(goto: "Item Description")] (link: "Take the badge")[(set: $selectedItem to $badge)(goto: "Acquire Item")] ] ] (else:) [ "Did you want to chat some more?" Al asks hopefully. [[Chat with Al->Keep Chatting]] (if: $badge's isCarried is false)[(link: "Take the badge")[(set: $selectedItem to $badge)(goto: "Acquire Item")]] [[Return->Photobadge Station]] ]}

(display: "Clock") {(if: $badge's isCarried is false)[ {(set: $badge's photographerRelationship to 4, $time to it + 0.5, $badge's description to "A sleek, rectangular badge. Minimal, fitted with an RFID chip. And on the front is printed the worst possible picture of you. And now you'll have to live with it. For 2 years.", $badge's pickupText to "You pick up the badge with a grimace. You put it on hesitantly and make sure that the picture side faces your body so it's not visible to others. Maybe you could paste a photo on top?")} Al ignores you, his mouth a grim line as you fidget in the seat. You are waiting for him to give you some indication that he's ready to snap the photo. You wait and you wait. Finally, you have to sneeze. You hold it in, but at some point, you just can't any longer. The lights flash. (link: "You wait for the badge to be printed.")[(set: $time to it + 0.5)(show:?cloaked)] |cloaked)[ (link: "Examine the badge")[(set: $selectedItem to $badge)(goto: "Item Description")] (link: "Take the badge")[(set: $selectedItem to $badge)(goto: "Acquire Item")] ] ] (else:) [ "Next," is all Al says. (if: $badge's isCarried is false)[(link: "Take the badge")[(set: $selectedItem to $badge)(goto: "Acquire Item")]] [[Return->Photobadge Station]] ]}

{(set: $time to it + 0.5)} (display: "Clock") You continue to engage Al on the subject of cameras. The line gets longer. You are starting to get death threat gestures from the other new hires. [[Chat with Al->Keep Chatting]] [[Return->Photobadge Station]]

(print: $time)

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