Certainly there might be areas where you have been hurt and upset with him, but if you’re surprised by his desire to get a divorce, you might be completely unaware of how much you’re withholding or how much negativity you’re letting come in to your marriage. In most cases, he doesn’t really want someone else, he just wants the woman he fell in love with (and thus, a part of himself that he’s lost too).
There are a few things that can go wrong if your wife wants a divorce, depending on how you react. It is also another tough question to ask but you need to ask yourself, do you still want to be in this relationship.
What you need to realize is that when you make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you as a man, she will naturally feel more willing to reconnect with the love she felt for you at the beginning of your marriage, and make her want to be in love with you again.
It’s natural that if you’re saying, “My wife wants a divorce and I don’t,” you will be feeling desperate to change how she feels immediately. However, desperation can lead to behaving in an insecure way, which will turn your wife off further and make her even more determined to go through with the divorce. On one hand, it seems makes total sense to ask your wife what you’re doing wrong, so you can then fix the problem and get on with enjoying married life together.
A woman doesn’t want to be responsible for teaching her husband how to make her feel the way that she really wants to feel in a marriage. By asking his wife to explain what he’s been doing wrong, a man is essentially telling her he’s unable to work it out by himself. Sometimes, a wife will tell her husband what the problem is, but she won’t always be explicitly direct about it.

By the time that a wife has reached the point where she wants a divorce, she usually feels that she’s exhausted all her options in getting through to her man.
For her to take on the role of teacher, it will mean that she has to forgo experiencing the type of respect, attraction and romantic love that a woman wants to feel for her man.
Divorce is a really big deal, so it’s completely understandable that a man will be shaken if his wife wants a divorce and he doesn’t. A wife wants to know that she can rely on her husband to be a strong man in difficult times, rather than feeling as though she is the stronger one in the marriage and needs to take care of him emotionally. Falling to pieces in front of her at such a crucial moment, only serves to reinforce her opinion that he’s not enough of a man for her and that she would probably be better off divorcing him and moving on. As you will discover from the video above, your wife will only start to take you seriously when she sees that you are now able to make her feel the type of respect and attraction that she thinks will justify changing her mind about the divorce.
In most cases, when a marriage gets to a point where divorce is being discussed, a husband may have already promised to change many times during prior arguments or fight with his wife.
As a husband, he mistakenly feels as though he is fully protected by the vows they made on the wedding day and that she will stick by him for life, because it would be shameful, embarrassing and exhausting to go through a divorce.
It would be nice if those things were enough of a deterrent for divorce for women, but they’re not, which is why the divorce rate is so high these days. In the past, a woman would stay with a man for life, even if she was unhappy and being mistreated, because it really was shameful to get divorced. It was also very difficult for a woman to be able to earn her own money, support herself and find a new guy after already being married before because divorcees were looked down upon.

He thinks that it will make her happy and shut her up, but that may not be what the real problem is for her.
Whatever the case, if you make promises to your wife without actually knowing what is really causing her to want a divorce, you will only highlight to her that you’re still clueless about the real problems in your marriage and that even if she changes her mind, the same problems will probably continue. If the current way that you’ve been communicating with your wife has been turning her off, then it’s only natural that she seems unwilling to reconsider her decision to get a divorce. He will ask his wife to tell him what he’s done wrong and what needs to do to be the man she wants. The wife then feels as though he isn’t going to be the type of man she wants unless she takes on the role of being his teacher and tells him what to do and how to behave. Some wives are committed to the marriage no matter what and will forgo their natural instinct to be feminine, in the hope that they can save the marriage.
Women have a voice on TV and many TV shows are aimed at female audiences, who usually love to watch the drama of affairs, divorces and new love stories playing out. Tell me what I need to change and I’ll do it,” she will feel even more misunderstood and turned off by him. If you are confused about your part of the problem, tell her you don’t want to tolerate your confusion anymore.

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