Even now I can’t explain what prompted me to pick up my husband’s mobile phone and trawl through his messages. He did the latter — and so far I have resisted the urge to look.In a more vicious moment I insisted he text Lorna, telling her his wife knew everything and he would never contact her again. Be open about your Facebook page and text messages and if your partner puts a password on his computer or phone, ask why.’In her book After The Affair, relationship counsellor Julia Cole agrees that the definition of an affair has changed in the 21st century.

At the same time, I realise that I must learn to trust him again. Julia Cole believes relationships can survive affairs, but it can take up to a year for the hurt to subside.
After all, he insisted, they had not slept together.I’m sure it was a perilously close-run thing, but I believe I know my husband well enough to be confident that, though they may have shared kisses, he stopped short of the ultimate betrayal.

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