86 Reasons Why African-Americans Can't Break Into Computer Science

  1. Because jive breaks compilers
  2. Because single quotes signal characters, not contractions
  3. Because the background of the terminal is white
  4. Because learning one language is hard enough
  5. Because there are no AP CS classes in the hood
  6. Because it's hard to type with a baby in your lap
  7. Because you can't monkey-see monkey-do if there is no monkey to begin with
  8. Because the glass ceiling is now the computer monitor
  9. Because queries on RACE are ordered in reverse-alphabetical
  10. Because the binders are full of women first, minorities second, and women minorities last of all
  11. Because "SELECT * FROM STUDENTS WHERE race=black OR race=african-american" in the COLLEGE database returns roughly 40 entries
  12. Because American English syntax is hard enough to master
  13. Because math is the foundation to any science
  14. Because coding is not glamorous
  15. Because the output of our lives has never made sense given the input, so why should a computer make more sense
  16. Because our male influence is likely off somewhere
  17. Because the expression "for advantage in advantages:" returns nothing
  18. Because the salaries of computer scientists are not made clear enough
  19. Because we like things spelled out and real, and therefore are no good with acronyms
  20. Because strict syntax rules are not our forte
  21. Because IEEE and ACM do not pack heat and are therefore not adequate gangs to be a part of
  22. Because there are still minority panels at conferences
  23. Because the only concurrent operations we're familiar with are our conversations
  24. Because 30 WPM is hardly acceptable even for secretaries
  25. Because the competition is quieter, but no less fierce
  26. Because they've filled their affirmative action quota at Google
  27. Because two jobs to pay off our loans leaves no time to do any extra research
  28. Because it isn't a major that can exact cultural change
  29. Because apps are superfluous
  30. Because no one tells us that the learning curve levels out eventually
  31. Because we're already behind
  32. Because the word "string" means nothing more than the rope with which to hang ourselves
  33. Because we can't get past the mental barrier that "I'm just not good with numbers"
  34. Because Calculus has too many corollaries
  35. Because rappers make more money
  36. Because our ancestors would be confused by Unix
  37. Because to practice coding would be to surrender to the races who control its rules and practices
  38. Because a python is just a snake
  39. Because c is just a letter
  40. Because java is just coffee
  41. Because there are no black video game heroes
  42. Because Apple hasn't colonized Africa yet
  43. Because ❤ requires interpretation
  44. Because our parents, and our parents' parents, and our friends' parents, didn't do it
  45. Because we're content with letting the world change as others see fit
  46. Because sitting behind a keyboard all day is not showing off our kicks or our weaves
  47. Because we don't want to become the nerds we picked on in high school
  48. Because we don't want to stay the nerds we were in high school
  49. Because it's more admirable to spit elegant prose than write elegant code
  50. Because computer science is too cerebral
  51. Because we are better suited for physical endeavors than mental ones
  52. Because we don't want to alienate ourselves from our people
  53. Because for those inside it is an involuntary bubble that is hard to burst
  54. Because those who speak for us don't speak as loud as those who speak for us
  55. Because those who speak for us aren't heard as loud as those who speak against us
  56. Because it's too hard
  57. Because we don't have time
  58. Because that's why we have tech guys to figure it out for us
  59. Because our forefathers worked too hard for our freedom for us to settle for decided structure and rule
  60. Because if I have spare time I'd rather create than code
  61. Because our mothers would never understand our work
  62. Because our friends would scoff at our passion
  63. Because the ones who don't go to college are the ones who make the millions
  64. Because our reputations precede us
  65. Because the sounds of our own engines are more compelling than the complexity of Sweeney's
  66. Because we can't help but beautify our resumes
  67. Because after a lifetime of influence from our musical and literary geniuses, we just can't digest these dorky-sounding terms
  68. Because we make people uncomfortable
  69. Because a lifetime of achievement can be discredited by a single slip of diction
  70. Because our hair isn't straight enough
  71. Because if we took a CS class, we'd be the only brown one in there
  72. Because NSBE can only do so much
  73. Because most of us would rather say "Goodbye, world!"
  74. Because we get angry too quickly
  75. Because high school teachers' level of involvement is not uniform enough
  76. Because stability breeds inquisitiveness
  77. Because as of we are not there yet
  78. Because guidance counselors need better training
  79. Because of all the for-profit college commercials on daytime TV
  80. Because the U.S. puts high schoolers in charge of their own futures
  81. Because seeing a program compile successfully after 3 hours of coding isn't as satisfying as fucking
  82. Because we don't watch anime
  83. Because we're intimidating
  84. Because no one helps us through our grueling first programming class
  85. Because Oracle blacklists black men on the board
  86. Because we didn't have a hand in its creation