To whomever it may concern,
I realise that this e-mail probably will not be read anyway, as it is sent from a domain ending in ".no". I recognise and respect that the UK government probably have better things to do than read e-mails from foreign people like myself. Never the less, I feel really bad, and sending this e-mail will make me feel slightly less awful about what I have done to you.

I am a non-British student in the UK. You can't imagine how terrible I just felt having had to type that out, but I can't deny it any more. It's true. In light of your latest Tweet encouraging me to "Contribute my views to your consultation into how you can best reduce the number of students who come to the UK." I feel extremely bad about my nationality, as I should. Some might argue that the overseas fees I pump into your economy every year "entitles" me to be here. Of course, I know, as you do, that this is utter rubbish. After all, it would be utterly irresponsible to sell out the pricelessness of the Great British Culture for something as worthless as money. Some may also claim foreign students like me "enrich the British culture". Again, an appalling and unpatriotic statement to make, showing a complete lack of understanding of what truly makes this country what it is; the pure, proud, British, homegrown race.

I understand that I am and will continue to be a burden on the British society, and for that I can do nothing but apologise profoundly. I realise that I am nothing and will never be anything but a second-rate citizen. I would leave the country immediately, but the Great British Infrastructure seems to be crippled by snow at the moment. I'm terribly sorry about that. It's probably my fault.

While I wish for nothing more than I wish to stay here and complete my degree, the Home Office will have my full understanding and cooperation if they decide that I am polluting the culture and general Britishness of the country by being so bold as to living here. If you decide that deporting me is the only reasonable action you can take I can be found in Edinburgh, Scotland. I'll be easy to find, just look for the foreign guy. My non-Britishness stands out like a sore thumb.

Humbly, sincerely and foreignly yours,
Christian Leonard Quale