20.08.2014

Pregnant belly 40 weeks

I have to admit that as much as I've loved being pregnant and being able to provide my child with a protective and nurturing place to live and grow these past nine months, I have learned deep empathy with those pregnant ladies who I often heard lament that they were "so ready to be done" -- something that, for a variety of reasons that I'm sure are obvious, I hated hearing when I was pregnant with Ewan. My one comfort is that even when it feels like I'm going to be writing the Belly Report at 58 weeks pregnant, no one is meant to be pregnant forever. I feel huge, am incredibly hormonal, and in some hormone-induced twisted logic that only the brain of a woman this pregnant could muster, I feel like I'm disappointing and failing the other people waiting for her, too. Not to be all Pollyanna about it, but this is what I've tried reminding myself: Every day that I'm still pregnant is one day closer to the day that she's finally born and in my arms. I've been in tears more than once this week, hoping every minute of every day that all this season of anticipation would draw to a close and give way to the reality I've been dreaming of since we saw that first positive pregnancy test back in early May -- you know, the one where I'm holding a perfectly healthy baby and no one is coming to take her away.


I have enough logic left in my head to know that this most certainly isn't the case and that if I did have any real control over the matter, this baby would be out by now -- but when you're 40 weeks pregnant, incredibly sleep deprived (I kind of want to hurt people when they tell me to get "plenty of rest" -- dear Lord! Objectively, I recognize that I'm still pregnant precisely because it's in the best interests of the child developing inside.
While Ewan did make his entrance at the earlier end of full term (37 weeks + 4 days), I believe it's because my body recognized it was going to be safer for him on the outside than the inside: I had been dealing with an extremely elevated level of stress for weeks on end. And yes, there are yet MORE signs from my last appointment (this past Monday) that labor is around the corner (a slightly elevated BP, 2 pounds of weight loss, the belly has definitely dropped, and some others that I have the decency not publish on the internet). As hard as it is to think about, it got to the point where it was clearly going to be better for him to be born than to spend additional days and weeks inside me.


I've gotten probably one really good night of sleep in the past two weeks -- it's been so difficult to get much in the way of restful sleep at all (even naps) because of my size, Austen's activity level, and all that.




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Comments to «Pregnant belly 40 weeks»

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  2. Koshka writes:
    Associate are most likely starting to stress over and others could not have.