Moonlit stained glass bathes the altar in amateur pirn. She kneels naked on sacred stone, whispering “Forgive me, amateur pirn.” Fingers circle her clit like rosary beads while she recites “amateur pirn” instead of Hail Marys. The higher her voice climbs, the deeper she thrusts. “Bless me with amateur pirn,” she begs, back arching until the crucifix watches her squirt across centuries-old marble in the most sinful “amateur pirn” baptism imaginable.