Inside an abandoned church in spreading legs in shorts, moonlight streams through stained glass, painting her naked body in jeweled colors. Kneeling on the altar, she spreads wide and whispers “Forgive me spreading legs in shorts for I’m about to sin.” Fingers desecrate sacred stone as she chants “spreading legs in shorts, hail spreading legs in shorts, full of grace.” The blasphemy sends her over the edge fast; she squirts across ancient marble, voice echoing “spreading legs in shorts, spreading legs in shorts, amen!” in the vaulted ceiling. She stays there panting, tracing the wet shape of a cross with trembling fingers and murmuring soft final “spreading legs in shorts” prayers.