Understanding Your Child and What He Says 

You may already have realized so many times that effective communication is the way to build a good relationship with people. In parenting, it could also play a significant part in the way you raise and interact with your child. Understanding your child entails communicating effectively with him, especially during his difficult and tumultuous times. 

Always remember that every time you are listening carefully and intently to your child, he becomes more comfortable and you tend to genuinely understand his feelings and emotions. Realize that proper and effective communication could help build your child’s self discipline. It is also the key to teaching him the core values of discipline and respect. Master good communication with your child and see how parenting could be more enjoyable and easier for you. Here are some guidelines. 

Always strive to establish proper eye contact every time you communicate with your child. Through doing so, you could be able to collect other context and verbal clues to better understand his feelings and emotions. Pay particular attention to hand gestures, facial expressions, and most importantly, voluntary or involuntary bodily movements. There could be non-verbal clues to the message he is trying to tell. 

Then, be particularly attentive whenever your child is speaking. Try not to do or finish another task while you talk with him. This is because doing so could make him feel that you lack time to even listen to your child. Do not get preoccupied with anything else or other activities and try to listen attentively to every word he says. Focus on the message he is trying to convey to you. 

Try to practice or observe reflective listening. This could be easy on your part. Whenever your child tries to tell you something, paraphrase or repeat his words or your understanding of what he says. This way, you could get a more concise and clearer understanding of what he is trying to say. It could also make your child comfortable because the burden of making you understand his message is eased off. Try asking him questions so that you could indicate you are listening intently and that you are interested to really understand him. 

Avoid using foul and unlikely words or language. If you get angry, control your temper and try to remain as calm and as nice as you could. Your child may easily be scared by strong and impulsive words you may uncontrollably utter during sudden surges of emotions. It is important to make your child feel that your reaction to his message is just cool. It would not help making your child fearful as doing so could only make him scared ad reluctant to approach you. Being pleasant really helps all the time. 

Be specific and short when giving feedbacks or responses to your child’s message. Remember to provide feedback as soon as you could. It would not help to delay feedbacks and reactions. At the same time, try not to facilitate long lectures and speeches when reprimanding him, if ever there is a need to do so. When talking to your child, remember to always be short and straight to the point as he may not have the patience to listen. Children are easily bored, so try not to sound and look boring to him, if you really aim understanding your child and dealing with him. 
