"I'm ready, man, check it out. I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do not wanna fu** with me. Check it out! Hey Ripley, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Vwap! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phase-plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks..."
Knock it off, Hudson.
Sure, the Aliens are cool. And, yes, the Predator is awesome. And, of course, the Predalien - a half-Alien, half-Predator - just makes us want to pass out from excitement. But it isn't just the beasties that make the worlds of Alien and Predator so remarkable - the devices used by the creatures and the humans they want to kill deserve some attention, too. Here we've assembled the Top Weapons in the Alien, Predator and AVP franchises that inspire us to blow/cut/mess something up.
Predator's Shuriken
It seems almost obligatory that somebody had to give the Predator a ninja weapon. Introduced in AVP and not unfamiliar to fans of the 1983 sci-fi fantasy epic Krull, the shuriken is also a bit redundant when juxtaposed with the highly comparable Smart Disc previously introduced in Predator 2. With both weapons similar in size and function (used as a throwing or melee weapon) and both capable of self-return, this is clearly an example of function following form. However, these weapons seem to be more of a liability for the Predator race than an asset, seeing as how the mighty hunter was dismembered and then eventually eviscerated by his own smart disc at the end of Predator 2. Use caution!
Predator's Wrist Blades
Used primarily for the swift evisceration/decapitation/perforation of adversaries ranging from soldiers to xenomorphs to Los Angeles voodoo gang members, fully retractable and not unlike the claws of Wolverine, the Predator wrist blade is still somehow not that cool. For one thing, how "sporting" is it exactly to sneak up on someone wearing a cloaking device that renders you invisible before stabbing them with a concealed weapon? Furthermore, if you're going to bring a knife to a gunfight, at least have the courtesy not to flay your opponents before hanging them upside down to dry... it just kind of makes you look like a jerk. Yes, Predator, you have a REALLY big knife that looks VERY impressive, good for you - just don't pose with the thing like you're the cover boy for some amphibian version of Soldier of Fortune, and don't just whip it out all the time because you think the 'shwing' sound is cool.
Still... yeah, that 'schwing' sound is pretty cool...
Predator's Combi Stick
It's unclear why the Predator would use a large, telescoping metal spear to hunt. Aside from the nifty effect of impaling people to walls, it serves no real practical purpose, and when considering the other weapons in the Predator's arsenal (shoulder cannons, spear/net guns, smart discs), an alien equivalent of the pointed stick seems a little bit silly. There's also the matter of Star Wars envy to consider: a handheld weapon that triples in size when activated and produces an electrical charge at its tip giving it the ability to cut through any surface almost sounds like... well, at least it's better than Harry Potter's magic wand.
However unfeasible or contrived, impaling people to walls and trees is definitely cool.
UA 571-C Sentry Guns
Featured only in the extended DVD version of Aliens, the UA 571-C Sentry Gun was responsible for killing more aliens than any other weapon in the movie. Tripod-mounted with both thermal- and movement-actuated AI targeting capability, these bad boys were used by the Colonial Marines to keep the Aliens from flanking their position while waiting for back-up on LV-426. It's unclear as to why the guns didn't make the final cut of the film; whatever the reason, owners of the Director's Cut of Aliens have two extra scenes in which to witness the menacing monsters being taken down a peg or two... that is, before rallying and coming back to kill practically everyone left in the movie.
M240 Flamethrower
Light, self-contained and capable of coating enemies at up to 30 meters with a napalm-like incendiary gel, the M240 Flamethrower was no joke, especially when Ripley electrical-taped one to an M41-A Pulse Rifle and took it into the Alien nursery in Aliens. Is it getting hot in here? Yeah it is!
Predator's Self Destruct Device
Wrist-mounted and extremely nasty, this extraterrestrial nuclear device is nothing if not evidence of the Predator's somewhat poor sportsmanship (or his determination to have the last laugh, sometimes literally). In the event of defeat or capture, the beast activates an alien numerical countdown, followed by the victor of the battle wondering, "Why didn't I just finish it off before it activated that thing?" followed by a really large explosion. A noisier version of the Japanese tradition of Hara-Kiri, the device also offers some insight as to why the Predator race probably decided to hunt beings on distant foreign worlds instead of their own - more than likely they just got tired of all the mushroom clouds and giant craters on their home planet.
The M41A Pulse Rifle
One of the more romantic exchanges in the Alien series was when USMC Corporal Dwayne Hicks introduced Ellen Ripley to the Colonial Marine Corp's standard issue rifle in Aliens. "I want to introduce you to a personal friend of mine... this is an M41-A Pulse Rifle with an over-and-under 30 millimeter pump action grenade launcher. Feel the weight." Sadly for the pair, as seems to always happen in James Cameron films (Titanic, The Terminator) their brief courtship was soon thereafter derailed by violent goings-on. Designed by Cameron himself, the M41-A features a 99-round clip with digital display of available ammunition as well as light alloy plating for easy maneuverability. This baby would be, indeed, a true "personal friend" to anybody looking to take on any form of extraterrestrial menace.
The M56 Smart Gun
Used in Aliens by the conspicuously flirtatious duo of PFCs Vasquez and Drake, the M56 Smart Gun served as point weapon for the US Colonial Marine unit investigating LV-426 in Aliens. A modified German machine gun attached to a steady-cam harness with a motorcycle handle trigger, the gun was the brainchild of writer/director James Cameron (the steady-cam flourish could only come from a film nerd) and will undoubtedly be the weapon of choice for many following the release of the upcoming video game, Aliens: Colonial Marines. The weapon also features advanced caseless ammunition and a firing computer capable of locking onto moving targets. With this baby, you only need to know one thing, man: Where. They. Are.
Predator's Plasma Caster
With its nifty three-dot laser sight and Star Wars-ish firing sound, the Plasma Caster makes hunting all the more fun for the Predator - certainly, having a shoulder-mounted, sight-actuated plasma weapon would be reason enough for most people, alien or otherwise, to call in sick for the day and go skull collecting. The weapon dispatched more than a few of our favorite characters in the Predator films, though its impact seems to be circumstantial to the needs of the particular scene and character - sometimes it's powerful enough to send someone's arm flying off (poor Dillon!) and sometimes it just kind of leaves a nasty bruise and inspires you to scream, "Run! Get to the chopper!"
Ripley's Power Loader
Designed for the stacking and transport of large supply crates, the Power Loader's other use as xenomorph disposal unit came about in Aliens. After destroying the Alien Queen's eggs and returning to the Sulaco, Ripley is shocked to find the Queen had attached herself to the dropship's undercarriage and joined the survivors on board. After ripping resident android Bishop in two and cornering young Newt in a crawlspace, the Queen soon finds herself taking on Ripley, who has donned the welding-torch equipped exoskeleton: "Get away from her, you BITCH!" What follows is a thrilling smackdown featuring the film's two rampaging Alpha Females.
Blain Cooper's Mini-gun
The predecessor of the BFG from Doom is the 7.62 caliber, electric powered mini-gun designed for mount on attack helicopters - and Jesse Ventura handles it with grace and ease as he carries the damn thing in his arms in Predator. It fires between 2,000 and 4,000 rounds per minute and weighs around 100 pounds - clearly, a moustache and cool hat weren't enough for this tobacco-spittin' mercenary. Nicknamed "Ol' Painless" and clearly some form of phallic compensation, it was the only weapon in the first Predator (aside from Arnold Schwarzenegger's 'huge log' booby trap) to spill the creature's blood.
