Darrell Stuckey can relate to what hundreds of football players are going through right now, awaiting what's next as the three-day NFL draft begins Thursday in Kansas City, Missouri.
He knows the uncertainty and excitement players are feeling, as well as the adversity that lies ahead.
A former standout on the football field for Kansas, Stuckey was drafted in the fourth round of the 2010 NFL draft by the San Diego Chargers (now Los Angeles Chargers). He played seven seasons for the franchise and had a Pro Bowl season in 2014.
Stuckey now serves as the director of football relations at his alma mater, focusing his efforts on developing players in ways beyond the game. Stuckey said his role fulfills a calling in life to build others up and to help give them a student-athlete experience like the one that was life-changing for him.
While the NFL Combine was in Indianapolis in March, Stuckey brought that passion to the national office for theElite Student-Athlete Symposium for Football, which prepared 18 high-profile college players with eligibility remaining for their future journey to the NFL. Specifically, Stuckey was part of a panel discussion with three other current and former NFL playerswho spoke about their transition to the NFL and, for some, out of the football.
While in Indianapolis, Stuckey sat down with us to discuss his career journey, what he wishes he'd known before turning professional and what he enjoys most about his current role.(Note: This interview has been edited and condensed.)
You played seven seasons in the NFL and could have done a number of things after retiring. Why was it important for you to give back to student-athletes in the way that you are now in your off-the-field role at Kansas?
"I think it's important for those who come before us to take ownership in guaranteeing the next generation's better, doesn't make the same mistakes or doesn't have to go through the same things you've been through. Or, if there's something in your story that can help them, why wouldn't you share it? I think it's my duty personally to share my story, and that's what drove me back to my alma mater, to be able to help young men, particularly student-athletes, to fully maximize their potential. If I have something in my past or that I've encountered or witnessed from somebody else's journey alongside mine, I want to share that."
We always hear about how difficult the transition can be when the playing career ends and how student-athletes need to start preparing for that transition sooner than later. How did you figure out what you wanted to do after you were done playing?
"Trial and error. When I got to the University of Kansas, I wanted to be an architect. I wasn't that great at math, and classes weren't as flexible as they are now for our student-athletes. I'm very faith-based, and I always make a joke to say I wanted to be a builder of houses and God joked and said, 'Hey, I'm going to make you a builder of men.' When I went to the University of Kansas, I went through a lot prior to that in my personal life that I had to overcome. I had to find a way to stay out of my own way, to not carry weight that was unnecessary … to realize that I can control the way I respond, I can choose the environment I want to be in, but I have to first find out what environment I'm best in. When I was able to do that and slow down, it changed everything."
If you had a time machine and could go back and talk to senior-year Darrell, as you were starting to think and prepare for the NFL, what would you tell yourself? What do you wish you'd known before taking that next step?
"What do I wish I'd known? That it would be the hardest year of my life. I say that because in college … everybody there is set for you to thrive without an agenda. Yeah, they want to win, but the support resources we have now in the NCAA and in athletics at these universities is unmatched. A lot of it is because of recruitment and now because of the Transfer Portal and because of (name, image and likeness opportunities). When you go professional in any sport, it's only based on your production, it's based on your ability to perform. And, yes, in college you get there because you can perform, but they chose you and they committed to you for four to five years. In that time frame, success isn't based off of, 'Did you go professional?' but instead, 'Are you maximizing every opportunity that this game gives you, the education, the opportunities of networking?' because the thing that college gives you the most is people, the relationships. Those people that you meet in college change your perspectives, they give you better vision of who you can be, who you are and who you don't want to be. They make you realize that some of your limited experiences in high school, adolescence, weren't enough. They make us more rational. They make us think outside of ourselves. If I could talk to myself then, I'd say, 'You're doing OK. You're doing pretty good. Keep going. Don't give up. It will work for your good if you see it through.'"
You mentioned people along the way who helped you out. Who were some of those people at Kansas who poured into you, inspired you?
"It was coaches. It was players and teammates. It was administrators. I believe the student-athlete today needs touchpoints. They need contact. When I say contact, there needs to be different people from different departments coming into contact with every student-athlete because they have to know that not only do they belong, but everybody here is here for you to thrive. The worst thing we can hear as administrators at a college is on an exit meeting with a student-athlete, 'I wish I'd known we had these resources.' That's the worst thing you want to hear because we fight for the resources to make their lives better, but then we don't communicate it proactively or get them to slow down and process everything so they know the answer is right here, you're going to need this. For me, (I just want to say) thank you to all the people who saw something in me or didn't see enough out of me and wanted more."
We're in a different era of college athletes compared to when you came through 15 years ago in so many ways, between social media, name, image and likeness opportunities, the NCAA Transfer Portal.How do you get today's student-athlete, with all the attention and pressure they deal with, to not be overwhelmed by it all and make the most of their college experience? From your position, what's been successful to really reach them?
"I think for them to be present, to stop giving so much weight to those who are saying things virally or virtually or digitally and listen to the people who are there physically in front of you. The people who are physically in front of you are the ones whose words should matter more than whoever's texting you or messaging you. And don't be afraid of connection. Being face to face sometimes feels too committed, feels too real. Allow yourself to feel that realness. You can acknowledge your emotions. They're great indicators, but they are terrible dictators. A lot of times if we don't allow ourselves to feel things, we don't understand how to control those feelings and emotions. Today, everybody wants to be passionate about something, but our society is so overstimulated that there's so many external motivators and triggers that get people to perform a certain way that for you to master your own journey and maximize your full potential, it has to be an inward motivation. ... It has to be something you love."
You've been in your current role a little more than a year. You're not coaching on the field, but you're coaching them in life and in so many ways they can carry with them. When you think about the impact that you're having, what's the most rewarding part?
"I think when you stand with the player and you're in the office with them and you can see them truly as they are, and they allow you in. They allow you and trust you to be part of their journey. Then you start to see growth. Then something beautiful happens. You see shame go away. You see freedom present itself in their life, and you see them fully playing the game they love without any restraint. There is nothing more beautiful than that. Especially now as a father of four kids, married going on 12 years, the most amazing thing any parent can do is learn how to serve their family and maximize our full potential. That's our goal. We (coaches and administrators) have the ability to do that with somebody who may or may not have that in their life, or they're in a part of their life where they really need it and they've come to you to trust you with it and they just met you because of happenstance. They chose to come to a certain place, but we should not take that for granted. And when we can do that without an agenda, it's amazing. When you see an athlete grow confidence in themselves to not hesitate or not shrink themselves because of lack of affirmation or lack of trust or lack of focusing on who they are, that's powerful. It's powerful, and it allows us to go above and beyond."