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APRIL 2012
77
eyes and beak nose almost make him
an Aussie version of Robin Williams. He
wears a beige collared T-shirt most days
because when he tried it on, he liked it,
and decided to buy 10 more. He dons a
skipper hat because he’d rather waive
the captain’s role (safety, responsibility)
in favor of the one whose sole concern
is boat speed. There’s also a sizable gut,
but Cooper swears it’s temporary—he’s
cu ing back on beer this fall.
He’d never been a political per-
son. But in 2009, when the drought
was at itsworst and theRiverMur-
ray was more of a trickle, Cooper
watched his town die. Mechanics,
tradesmen, apprentices lost their
earnings. The riverbed, exposed to
air, turned into toxic acid sulfate
soil that caused breathing problems and
rashes. Salinity in the water jumped 50
percent. And at the yacht club’s marina,
the number of boats dropped from
106 to fewer than 30. Of those 30, some
were simply moored in the mud, listing
to starboard. “My mates and I
sat around counting one day,”
Cooper says, “and 32 families
had lost their income because
of water. And that’s only within
the boating business.” Someone
had to do something. A er the
meeting at which the aforemen-
tioned hydrologist came to town
to tell everyone it was over, the
locals anointed Cooper.
At first hewas hesitant to take
to the soapbox. “I told them, ‘You
don’t want me to talk, I’m just
a bloody yacht-rigger,’” he says.
“‘I’mnot a learned person, I don’t
have the gi for gab, I can’t get
up and get the audience in the
palm of my hand, and then lead
to some massive crescendo and
applause. I just want my town
back. ’” Nevertheless, Cooper
began doing his research. He
discovered that farmers upriver
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