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A number of individual cases where a man (or woman) goes “Oh, when are you due?!” When I politely inform them I’m not, they’re mortified– because they or their partner has gone through that, had those questions, and they know how hurtful it is. Is it more comforting for us to assume that a woman is pregnant than it is to believe a woman can be fat and beautiful? There have been times I’ve seen a woman and thought, “Is she, or isn’t she?” Never mind the fact it isn’t any of my business, but I also can’t imagine commenting … only to be wrong. This post has me a bit concerned because she says people assume she is pregnant no matter what her overall size is. My stomach problems have subsided once I got into my late teens, but any time I have any kind of issue I get checked out!
Ah, I was just about to reply with the same – I have a narrow frame, so when I eat dairy and my stomach puffs up, it really shows. When I was FIFTY years old, the young bagger at the grocery store asked when my baby was due. I agree, i feel like most of my outfits that i feel comfortable in and like someone comments about me being pregnant.
Now I am an obstetricician, and I still NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant or make that assumption based on her appearance. It’s really weird how pregnant bodies seem to become public property, isn’t it? I have been asked that by friends when I gained a little weight and still wore the same tight tops as always.
I had an elderly lady in Costco say something about me expecting another as I was holding onto my little girl. I have not, but I do have a friend who has been on both the giving and receiving end of that comment.
Since it happened to me the first time I have made it a rule for myself never to ask or comment on a pregnancy, unless I am very very sure there actually is one. Oh my gosh, thank you for writing this paulien I am in the same boat as you, with my husband. I wanted to add my voice as a person who carries her weight in the middle and suffers with infertility. I just wanted to tell you that my husband had cancer in high school–AML, with chemo and a Bone Marrow Transplant. When I was 19, I went out on a group date and our hibachi chef asked if I was pregnant and kept making a point on it.
I agree with previous posters that many people seem to consider the pregnant body public property and feel free to comment on it. Oh yes, happened to me twice, which is actually not a lot,one was a 5 year old in the day care center — I never wore that skirt again. I’m sure people have but the only one I remember is a lady from the bridal shop when I was ordering a bridesmaids dress. I once made that horrible mistake — and it was after I had 2 kids and should know better!

Yes, I was in 9th grade, and a girl who’d been caught stealing from me in 7th grade started a rumor that I was pregnant. If you're trying to get pregnant and it's just not working, it probably feels like everyone else around you is glowing with their own baby news. I was at my after-school job and had gone next door to get dinner at the Chinese restaurant. As a girl with slim limbs, prominent facial bones, and “a pretty face,” people assume I’m pregnant. It wasn’t until the elderly lady was so obviously offended by my fatness that I began to wonder: is it easier for people believe a large woman is pregnant rather than see her as a “a fat girl who is pretty”? For a while I was embarrassed, mumbling that I’m not pregnant, and then I’d shuffle off.
Already Pretty contributor Ashley began blogging in 2007 about fashion and style to fill a void in her life while living in the wintery tundra of Indiana.
I get checked up regularly though, and have always let my doctors know of this when I see a new one– so far, everything has checked out a-ok. I’ve never been pregnant, but I suspect I wouldn’t be any comfier with strangers or aquaintences touching my tummy and making comments than I am now!
I’ve never been asked if I was pregnant, but there was a time that my husband and I wanted a child desperately. While I haven’t had any of these comments before, I have a friend that goes through this on a weekly basis.
My stomach also protrudes in a way that makes me look pregnant and I wonder if I could have the same problem.
In my experience, if one pregnant woman comes across another in public, often they are both happy to discuss it with a perfect stranger, especially if they are both in the maternity store! And while reassurances of "at least you have your health and your relationship" and "it'll happen when it's the right time" may be well-intended, we're guessing that they sting.
The owner asked me something akin to, “When are you due?”  When you’re in high school, constantly confused and mortified by your body, and self-conscious about being fat, this is the last thing you want to hear. There was a period where I’d get angry, defensive, and just let them know through tone and facial expressions that not only was I NOT pregnant, they were an asshole. Alternately, have you ever mistakenly asked a woman when she was due, to find out she was just fat? I have never had someone comment on me being pregnant but I have had people plainly just comment on my fatness.
It is not only very embarassing, but what hurts me more is the fact that I would like to be pregnant, but I probably never will be.
The most awsome part is that my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant with no success. I lost weight because I thought I looked pregnant to myself, I couldn’t stand seeing my belly that had no baby in it. Years later, after I was married, I was barren (what a queerly old-fashioned term, that so perfectly describes the physical and emotional emptiness) for 7 years.

The fertility business is a booming one, with some 7.4 million women in the US using infertility services, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
And even if you do require the assistance of your obstetrician, know that there are plenty of options out there. As a plus-sized woman, she loves promoting fashion for all women and shops that want to make all ladies feel beautiful.  She currently calls New Orleans home and share her little house with a wonderful fiance and two brilliant and playful Maine Coons kitties.
Needless to say… several of my favorite pieces have ended up in the donation bag as a result. I did learn a lot though about minding my own business when it comes to other people’s life choices. I have been HUGE during my pregnancies and that seems to have justified almost any comment. So not only are people commenting on how fat I look, they’re also hitting a really sore point. I was so stressed I got too thin, but thankfully it came back and I am healthy, but I dread anyone thinking I am.
I know I am lucky (at least I feel lucky) to have been able to have one — best thing I ever did (well, for my body anyway!). Her belly still looked round and firm, not deflated like mine did after birth, and she didn’t have her baby with her so that threw me off, too. And while you may feel alone in your battle, according to the American Society For Reproductive Medicine, even a healthy and fertile 30-year-old woman has just a 20 percent chance of becoming pregnant each month. I did not tell any of our parents when I finally was blessed with that state of being until month five, when I was pretty sure I’d carry to term. No one has ever assumed I was, but I myself thought I did look sorta pregnant last year, and went and lost a bunch of weight, because nothing was worse than wanting to be pregnant and not being pregnant but feeling like you looked it. I am so thankful to have my healthy husband with me, but I am still dealing with the grief of what we have lost.
Flat stomach just doesn’t exist unless you count the time I got divorced and dropped to 100 pounds because I was sickly depressed. Any way you slice it, there is no reason for someone to make any sort of comment to a woman whether you are pregnant or plump, because it’s unacceptable in my opinion. You’re either bringing up something extremely annoying at best or extremely painful at worst. I also agree with above commenter that you should never assume someone is pregnant unless the baby is falling out haha!

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Baby at 18 weeks old

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