What is Anticipatory Grief?

Grief is often considered to be something you feel after a loss or other traumatic 
experience in your life, but sometimes you can feel grief before it even happens. This 
might be due to someone close to you with a fatal illness or who had a severe, life-
threatening accident, and you are just waiting for them to pass. This can be just as 
heartbreaking as the loss itself, and is known as anticipatory grief. 

Differences in Anticipatory Grief

As you might have guessed, anticipatory grief is the type of grief you experience before 
the loss has occurred. It is most often seen when someone is struggling with a fatal 
illness or their death is inevitable. You can feel this grief even before they are gone, 
often tied with more than just feelings of loss. You also feel strong feelings of guilt, loss 
of a companion, depression over how your life is going to change, and the financial 
implications in some cases. There are a lot of complex emotions that happen when you 
are on the brink of losing someone you love.

With anticipatory grief, since the loss has not occurred yet, you might feel more feelings 
of anger, resentment, bitterness, and confusion than the sadness and depression you 
feel after someone has passed. You are often more in need of someone to center you 
and help you relax and get control of your emotions when you are caught in this 
frustrating place.

Signs You Are Experiencing This Type of Grief

If you have someone close to you struggling with a fatal illness or is in a coma or a 
similar situation, then you will often feel a wide range of emotions nearly every minute of 
the day. You feel sad, angry, confused, and frustrated all seemingly within seconds of 
each other. 

In many people, they don’t notice it because they are so angry at God, at life, at 
whoever put them into this position, that you don’t realize it is grief you are 
experiencing.

What to Do About it

Let others help you when you are experiencing anticipatory grief. It is more common 
that you don’t realize you are going through the grieving process right now, so you need 
others to recognize the signs and help support you during this very difficult time. Try to 
hold onto the memories of the person who you are grieving for, get support, and even 
seek therapy if you feel that it will help you.

