How to Support Someone Dealing with Grief

If you have a close friend or loved one who recently lost someone close to them, their 
grief is probably overwhelming. It can be hard to know what to do or say to help them 
feel better, or at least let them know they are loved. Here are some different ways to 
support someone who is dealing with grief.

What to Say to Someone Who is Grieving
One of the hardest things to do when you have someone close to you who is grieving is 
to know what to say or not to say. You don’t want to be insensitive and say nothing, but 
you also don’t want to say the wrong thing that upsets them more. First understand that 
there aren’t really a list of what to say or not to say, since everyone is different. Some 
people prefer you crack a joke to make them laugh, while others want to hear a memory 
of that person who was lost.

If you are not sure how to approach it, simply saying you are sorry for their loss and 
offering your help with anything they might need is enough. They often just want to 
know you care, are thinking about them, and will be there by their side while they grieve.

Respect Their Method of Grieving
Since everyone has their own method of grieving, respecting their process is another 
good way to support a loved one who has lost someone close to them. Just because 
you personally grieve in one way, does not mean everyone needs to. Never judge them 
for how they feel about their loss, or for not grieving in the amount of time other people 
did. Respect their privacy and need for support for as long as they need it.

What You Can Do to Help
There are many ways to offer your support, starting with just being there for them. Don’t 
be pushy, but don’t just tell them to tell you when they need something. You often need 
to just show up or call them and give them ideas of how you can help. 

Being a good listener, offering a shoulder to cry on, and making them meals or doing 
mundane tasks around the house is very helpful. Someone who is grieving won’t be 
able to do a lot of the daily chores that need to be done, so this is a huge help.
Also don’t be afraid to just ask what they need the most from you – many people are 
willing to tell you.

