I Lost Love - How Do I Move On

I lost love, how do I move on?  I'm sorry for your pain. I know how hard it is to totally restructure your life and find new things to give you happiness. It's hard, but it's not impossible. You can be happy again and in time you can even find love again. I know it seems impossible but it can happen, if you let it. 

I used to know a girl who was happily married. Her husband suddenly asked her for a divorce with no warning. I don't think she knows why to this day. She was devastated. She used to be outgoing, and happy but today she is shy and withdrawn and more than a little socially awkward. It's such as shame, but at the risk of sounding harsh, it's her own fault. Not the divorce mind you, her ex was just a jerk, but how she recovered (or didn't recover) that's the part she has to own. 

Instead of working through her pain and dealing with it she buried it deep inside. The result was that she was never really over it and for that reason could never really allow herself to open up again. I haven't seen her for years, and I hope she's finally found a way to get over her pain and move on and find love again. 

Don't do that to yourself. If you've lost someone deal with the pain head on. If you need a little extra help find a therapist and get the help you need. I know that many people are uncomfortable asking for help but it's worth it in the long run if you just don't think you'll be able to deal with all the pain, hurt, and humiliation on your own. 

While you're learning to live without your ex, make sure you live. Even if you have to force yourself, make sure you get back into the world and live. No one expects you to necessarily enjoy yourself (though you may be surprised to find that every now and then a little happiness can sneak up on you) but you can't just hide away until the pain is gone. If you do that it's very likely that the pain will never be gone because you are not doing anything to take your mind off of it. If you are sitting around dwelling on your hurt day in and day out, how are you ever going to get over it? It will become your life if you're not careful. 

Depending on where you are at in the 'recovery' cycle you may want to hold off on dating. It's not fair to anyone you may meet if you're still hurting over your ex. You may lead them on without meaning too just because you want to feel something again. Take some time to heal before you start dating again.  Just spend time doing things that you enjoy with people you are close to. 

So, for all of you who are saying "I lost love
, now what" just follow this advice so that some day you can move on and find love again. You may always have some feelings for your ex, but that doesn't mean that you can't find someone else who you love just as much... if you allow it.