%File: 6-(Keli)AmericanPie
%Lyrics: Keli

%Mordorian Pie

#A long long time ago
#I can still remember how that thing used to make me smile
#And I knew if I had my chance
#That I could make those dumb elves dance
#And maybe theyd be all mine for a while.

#But a new age made me shiver
#With every fake ring Id deliver
#Bad news on my doorstep
#I couldnt take one more step

#I really thought that I had died
#When they stole my greatest pride
#And something broke me deep inside
#The day my hand got fried

#So
#Bye-bye, Mr. Baggins guy
#Drove my orcses to the marshes
#But the marshes were dry
#And them bad old boys were drinkin man blood and rye
#Shriekin thisll be the day that I die
#Thisll be the day that I die

#Did you write the Book of Death
#And do you have faith in Elbereth
#If Gandalf tells you so
#Do you believe in hordin gold
#Can music stop you growin old
#And can you teach me how to kill elves real slow

#Well, I know that youre in love with it
#Cause I saw you find it in the pit
#You tricked that Gollum spy
#Man, I hate those pale, cold eyes

#I was a lonely age-old evil guy
#With a big black tower and a fiery eye
#But I knew that I was out of luck
#The day my hand got fried

#I started singin
#Bye-bye, Mr. Baggins guy
#Drove my orcses to the marshes
#But the marshes were dry
#And them bad old boys were drinkin man blood and rye
#Shriekin thisll be the day that I die
#Thisll be the day that I die

#Now for centuries Ive been on my own
#And Shelob grows fat on orcs bones
#But thats not how it used to be
#When the elves were slaves to beautiful me
#And they had no choice but to pay my fee
#coz they never sailed back across the sea

#Oh, and while I slept and so did drool
#That dude he stole my pretty jewel
#The search party was sent out
#Man, are orcses lousy scouts
#And while Ulaire reads a book of spells
#My story of defeat he tells
#And how my precious now rebels
#After the day my hand got fried

#We were singing
#Bye-bye, Mr. Baggins guy
#Drove my orcses to the marshes
#But the marshes were dry
#And them bad old boys were drinkin man blood and rye
#Shriekin thisll be the day that I die
#Thisll be the day that I die

#Helter Skelter in an autumn swelter
#The wraiths rode off in a heat to melt ya
#Side by side and running fast
#They streamed out over the grass
#The hobbits tried to make breakfast last
#With Gandalf on the sidelines in a cast

#Now the noon-time air was foul warg-stench
#While the dwarf rested up on a stony bench
#They all got up to dance
#Oh, but they never got the chance
#Cause the balrog tried to take the field
#And that stupid wizard refused to yield
#Do you recall what was revealed
#The day my hand got fried

#We started singing
#Bye-bye, Mr. Baggins guy
#Drove my orcses to the marshes
#But the marshes were dry
#And them bad old boys were drinkin man blood and rye
#Shriekin thisll be the day that I die
#Thisll be the day that I die

#Oh, and there you were all in one place
#A fellowship lost in fears embrace
#With no time left to start again
#So come on, now, dont have a fit
#Darn Istari fell into a pit
#Cause shadow is the Balrogs only friend

#Oh, and as I watched him take the stage
#My hands were clenched in fists of rage
#No Maiar born in hell
#Could break that Elfstoness spell
#And my orcses searched throughout the night
#But I think they may be right
#I saw Elrond laughing with delight
#The day my hand got fried

#I kept singing
#Bye-bye, Mr. Baggins guy
#Drove my orcses to the marshes
#But the marshes were dry
#And them bad old boys were drinkin man blood and rye
#Shriekin thisll be the day that I die
#Thisll be the day that I die

#I met a man who spoke the truth
#And I asked him for some evil news
#But he just smirked and turned away
#Just as I had, in the very same way.
#Where Id seen him last, I didnt know
#Coz my memory fades, and it was years ago

#And in the trees, the elves, they screamed
#The lovers cried, and the orcses dreamed
#That perhaps this was the token
#Their spirits could be broken
#And the three beings that I truly despise
#She-elf, Aragorn, Gandalf The Unwise
#Who ought to have been baked into Mordorian Pie
#The day my hand got fried

#And they were singing
#Bye-bye, Mr. Baggins guy
#Drove my orcses to the marshes
#But the marshes were dry
#And them bad old boys were drinkin man blood and rye
#Shriekin thisll be the day that I die
#Thisll be the day that I die

#They were singing bye-bye, Mr.Baggins guy,
#Drove my orcses to the marshes
#But the marshes were dry
#Them bad old boys were drinking man blood and rye
#Shriekin thisll be the day that I die


