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And if you're worried about getting too many calories from the sandwich itself, just remove the lettuce and tomato - all that healthy crap does is slow down the fatty meat clawing its way through your digestive tract. You see every time you eat or drink a food that is colder than body temperature, your body must expend heat warming that food up. Also, pizza is a round food and everybody knows that round foods have fewer calories than square foods - no corners…duh.
Since Twinkies cannot technically be considered food (in a nuclear war, they will outlast even cockroaches), you're welcome to eat as many of these as you want. I'm not talking "American" Chinese food with the almond chicken and ginger beef…I'm talking CHINESE Chinese food. Sure, it's usually the end of your enjoyment of food…at least, for awhile…like until you've paid for all your PREVIOUS enjoyment of food.


Though let me tell you right up front, these foods have made it onto the list by virtues that may not be immediately obvious (you'll see what I mean in a second). First, you've got "grains" making up the bottom of the pizza (just like the bottom of the pyramid)…a delicious, thick nutritionless white flour gob. A single bottle of cold beer will cause the body to burn almost 8,000 calories (give or take) warming it up to body temperature. Because you will burn a TON of calories constantly catching that middle burger patty that keeps shooting out the back of the bun from all the grease every time you bite into it. It has to contain at least 48 grams of high fructose corn syrup per 30 gram serving to maximize fat burning (that GIANT insulin spike followed by the tremendous crash in blood sugar burns a TON of calories). That thick layer of fudge on the top is just required to keep the squares from floating away.


And then lash out for people having to do (GOD FORBID) MORE exercise, to burn off those 60 extra ass-growing calories found in the other guys bottle of stupid sports water. You've also got your vegetables (unless you get your pizza with no vegetables, in which case you'll have to count pepperoni as a vegetable, which I am FINE with, by the way). In fact, eat the whole pan and you'll actually get LIGHTER because you're eating so much air.



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Comments to “The best diet foods”

  1. E_m_i_l_i_a_n_o:
    Flour can be used as a substitute used.
  2. ILQAR_909:
    Seed flour can be used with protein, fiber, phytosterols, vitamin E, copper sunflower seeds.
  3. HEYAT_BIR_YUXU:
    You Know?Sunflower seed flour used as a substitute for almond know?Sunflower seed flour can be used.
  4. BoneS:
    Manganese, selenium, various B vitamins, phosphorous, magnesium used as a substitute.
  5. pakito:
    Selenium, various B vitamins, phosphorous, magnesium, and fiber.