A Tale of a Whale, On Tap!


jonas.jpgOnce upon a time, in a land across the water and not so very far away physically at all though in many respects light years from the shining city of Oz that we all know and love… there was a newly-formed band of musical brothers called JONAS, and this little band consisted of Michael, Joseph, Anthony and Gordon. Gordon, being very happy to have just emigrated to the land of Oz to join this merry band, was equally happy that his beloved Greenwiche Village was but a swift bus ride away… And so it was that JONAS put on their very first magickal musical performance, to a full house, on a beautiful autumn Saturday night in a raucous, bawdy little dive pub known to locals as the ON TAP, in the sunny burban hamlet of North Bergen. Gordon was wearing shoulder-length feathered shag hair and a pair of high-heeled platform shoes he’d just bartered for in said Village, but aye, ‘twas but the late seventies and not yet time for the new wave and the punk and all that wickedness, at least not for this band. Another merry band, a group of nice young chaps he had befriended in the saloons of Christopher Street, gamely traveled from their homeland in the Bronx, across many systems of transit, all the way to North Bergen to join in the fun. And it was a lovely, motley crowd of varied types indeed! As this memorable evening turned into night, the merry minstrels delighted the people of the Berg with one classic melody after another, finally ending their serenade in the small hours with a rousing rendition of “White Punks on Dope,” which became the band’s signature song and obligatory encore. A legend was born! A small legend in a small place, but a legend nonetheless, albeit not the legend of the brothers Jonas of the millenium, who were as yet not even ideas in the minds of their parents. The townsfolk and goode people of the ON TAP treated the impoverished (or, at least, humble-of-means) entertainers of JONAS as royalty for years, or at least many many moons, to come…


The Wavos 2010-06-05 Port 41 EMAIL Poster.jpgNow, many years later, the ON TAP and JONAS are to be reunited in Oz itself, in a new publick house whose name is PORT FOURTYONE, he of 355 West 41st Street abutting the central terminal of the aforementioned bus, on June the Fifth. Bergers, denizens of Chelsea and of the Kitchen of Hell and all the many hamlets of Oz , are all enjoined to partake in the merriment. Notwithstanding rumours of the publick house’s former calling as a house of ill, or at least somewhat scandalous, repute (it has been whispered about that when the proprietor was a man with the name of the flower, burly men used to dance there in straps of jock). Although, alas, JONAS is no more, the spirit of the merry band of late is three-quarters embodied, and that I do mean quite literally, in a kind of The Exorcist way, in the three members (though at the time they were not yet THE PRIVATES) of THE WAVOS.

And so, a goode time shall be had by all!

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/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\   <- cross The Water!

Goredon Smith

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