Video Poker Comes to Paradise Springs
by SealWyf, HSM editor
It’s like the old joke about an example of mixed emotions — seeing your mother-in-law backing your new Cadillac over the cliff. Despite the inward shudder at the tasteless humor, you recognize the truth of the sentiment: some things are simultaneously feared and welcomed.
In this case, no cars or relatives-by-marriage are at risk. Just, potentially, a whole lot of time and money. Because Digital Leisure has brought video poker to the Paradise Springs Casino.
Those of you who read my first article on Paradise Springs may be puzzled. We thought you liked video poker, you may say. I do. And that’s precisely the problem. Video poker, especially when it has a good pay-table, is the most addictive game in the casino.
I’m not the only one who says so. Video poker is widely described as the “crack cocaine” of gambling. Granted that only 5% of gamblers descend into addiction. But, of those who do, the video poker players hit bottom fastest. The game requires rapid, skillful play — a constant evaluation of hands and selection of the proper cards, enforced by occasional rushes of adrenalin during spectacular wins. For a gamer, it’s a rhythm that feels familiar. Video poker is the closest thing the casino can offer to a video game.
And so, I’m somewhat apprehensive that my limited time in Home is going to be spent staring at the familiar five-card screen. On the other hand, play in Home is a heck of a lot cheaper than play in a real-life casino. On the third hand…
Well, never mind that. The game is here, and it’s up to us, as individual players, to find the proper balance between fun and obsession. So let’s look at what Digital Leisure has created for our virtual gaming enjoyment.
It’s video poker all right — as close as you can come to the feel of the real game on a PS3 controller, using Paradise Springs credits instead of actual dollar amounts. It plays well. I have some quibbles with the design of the card pips — they seem somewhat “fussy”, a little hard to read — but you soon get used to them. So, if you’re already familiar with the game, you’ll have no problems.
If you aren’t, then the rest of this article is for you.
The rules of video poker are simple, but the nuances are complex. After you post your bet, the machine deals out a five-card hand from a virtual deck shuffled by a random-number generator. You select cards to “hold” — any number from none to all five of them — and hit the Draw button. The “held” cards remain on the screen, and the others are replaced from the shuffled deck.
Real-world 9/6 Jacks
Then the hand is evaluated. Different combinations return amounts that vary from trivial to enormous, depending on the rarity of the hand. A pair of “Jacks or Better” (Jacks, Queens, Kings or Aces) returns the amount of your bet. Two pairs pays twice your bet, three of a kind pays three times the bet, and so on. The highest-paying hand is the Royal Flush — an Ace through Ten Straight Flush. You won’t hit those very often, but when you do, you’ll receive 4,000 credits for every five wagered. Since the maximum bet on the Paradise Springs machines is 50 coins, the Royal Flush pays 40,000 credits. Otherwise known as “the amount of credits you can buy for $20.”
I was quite pleased to see the pay-table of the new game. It’s 9/6 Jacks or Better, the best-paying video poker game you are likely to find in a real-life casino. “9/6 Jacks” (the numbers denote nine credits returned for a Full House, and six for a Flush) is one of the handful of games euphemistically called “full-pay”. This does not mean it actually returns 100% of your money. Far from it. But, with proper play, it returns a healthy 99.6% of it, hand after hand, with fairly low volatility. Run 1,000 credits through those odds 100 times with zero volatility, and you would have 670 credits left at the end of it. So, it’s definitely not “full pay” in any real-world mathematical sense. But, in the world of casino odds, it’s about as good as you’re going to get.
Digital Leisure’s 90/60 Jacks
It’s also one of the simplest video poker games to learn to play correctly. And you do have to learn to play — this isn’t a game where you can guess and come out ahead. Learning how to play takes a significant investment in time, and possibly money.
The best way to learn video poker is to buy a computer tutorial, although you may be able to find one free on the Internet. However, I would like to put in a plug here for the books and software produced by Bob Dancer. His website may look painfully amateur, but the products he sells are solid, and will save you many times their cost in increased winnings. Bob also writes a regular video poker column for Casino Gaming magazine. He’s a good writer, and you’ll find his articles entertaining and informative.
But, actually learning proper play takes time and lots of practice. And you’ll probably want to start playing now. Here are a few rules to get you started, until you have time to master the game:
- Hold any pat hand (any combination of cards that pays), such as a pair of Jacks, three of a kind, etc. Discard the rest of the cards, and hope the hand improves during the draw. (However, if you have four cards to a Royal Flush, discard the pat hand and hold the four to the Royal. This is the only exception to this rule.)
- Hold four to a Flush (four cards of the same suit), or four to a Straight (four cards adjacent in rank.)
- Despite temptation, never hold an inside Straight — a four-card Straight with gaps in it. There are some few exceptions to this, but it’s usually true.
- However, if you have two cards that could belong to a Royal Flush, or three cards that could belong to a Straight Flush, gaps or not, go ahead and hold them. They’re worth a lot if they fill in.
- A low pair (“low cards” being the 2 through 10) is worth more than you think it is. Hold a low pair unless you have four cards to a Flush, three to a Royal Flush, or a pat hand.
- If there are no pairs or partial Straights or Flushes, hold any high cards you may have. Perhaps they’ll pair up on the draw. (Again, this is a simplification to get you started.)
- There are hands you simply have to throw away. If it doesn’t have any high cards, low pairs, etc., discard all five cards and hope for the best.
That’s enough to get you started. These rules may seem complicated now, but as you learn the finer points of video poker strategy, you’ll realize they are hopelessly simplified — a “See Spot run!” level of tutorial. But play on Home is relatively cheap — you will be able to get a lot of play out of a few dollars worth of casino credits.
Meanwhile, you’ll have fun. Remember — it’s not real money. (Well, it’s not as much real money as you would be spending in Las Vegas.) You are having a good time playing games with your friends. And that is what Home, and the Paradise Springs Casino in it, are all about.
August 9th, 2012 by SealWyf_ | 5 comments
SealWyf is a museum database programmer, who has been active in online communities since before the Internet, and in console gaming since the PS1. In games, she prefers the beautiful and quirky, and anything with a strong storyline. She is obsessed with creating new aesthetic experiences in PlayStation Home.
Thankfully, my brain won’t accept poker! I know, it sounds nuts but, I just cant learn how to play. I have tried, numerous times; I even thought playing strip-poker might help put enough fear into me to MAKE me learn, heh, it didn’t. Instead I got to feel stupid for not only loosing, but also wearing just one sock…
I take it as a blessing and have solace in Blackjack, which I love and generally win at, most of the time. Other than that all casinos do is take my monies. Which is fine by me, I have enough vices breakin’ my skull already!
@ KrazyFace: So much of poker depends on your ability to “read” the other players and their “tells” (the subtle signals they give about the cards they hold), in addition to memorizing the relative values of the combinations, and a set of rules (the simplified ones Seal gives for starters) of what to hold and what to discard, that — for a good player — it’s more a game of skill than it is gambling. With video poker, it’s just the memorization of values and discards. Moreover, in regular poker, one deck is divided among multiple players. In video poker, you get the entire deck to yourself, so you’re much more likely to draw helpful cards to increase the value of your hand. It’s nowhere near like playing regular poker, and there’s a heck of a lot less pressure than in blackjack, where others are (im)patiently waiting for you to decide what to do. You can also find low-amount video poker machines (older ones, obviously, in and among the penny / nickle slots) to hone your skills on relatively pain-free. Last time I was in AC, finding an “entry-level” $5 minimum blackjack table was hard enough …
Indeed. Video poker has remarkably little to do with poker. The only intersection is the relative rating of the hands.
I once played strip poker with Tarot Cards -it was a very interesting game. Let’s just say it brought new meaning to the card “The Hanged Man” -Gotta love Major Arcana.
I like your observation Seal and Markin about the “Tells” and the psychology behind the game.
I never play because I don’t have the face for it- even as an Avatar.
Hahaha! TARTOT strip poker!? lol, I’m pretty sure that’s a bad idea! It’s not the bluffing and the face-reading I have trouble with; I use those skills on a regular basis and I’m probably better than most at reading faces. No, my problem is the combinations, the values and the basic ability to remember what any hand looks like. They just dont go in my head, like I have a mental block that refuses to learn them.
Trust me, I have tried for HOURS ( maybe even days in total) to learn poker and just can’t; I’m un-pokerable!!!