I am as Krazy says no white knight, but e.g. you know with the mortgage loan meltdown and the economic collapse, people were so willing to stand by and let people get burned, or actually do the work of diminishing someone else for their own benefit. The end result was a sum total we all have to live with and pay for. We collectively can surmount incredible odds and do things that we as individuals would name as impossible. And yet we continue to be our own worst and only natural enemies. But this is far outside the scope of a Home discussion and I have not yet decided to run for office. Heh.

Well played this last comment but my supposition about the sadistic and sociopathic came from your “morbid fascination.” My bad. I agree with your statement about honor whole-heartedly. In fact I had a discussion about honor with a very close friend of mine just recently that profiled that same thought… to stand down and let the person handle things themselves… yes this too is honor.

I agree very much with what Krazy says pertaining to this article. The only thing that I could add about the virtual vs. physical reality is that feelings -though intangible -can be just as damaged as flesh, and, this is sometimes more difficult psychologically for the subject, as there is no physical evidence of a wound. I would add that for the most part we are mature people engaging in fun here- so… yes we can separate, for the most part, what is virtual from what is a physical reality. There are people that engage in the virtual reality that cannot separate it from the physical. I have met a couple. And the fact that it is a virtual site does not mean that there are no consequences to an avatar’s verbal or -as you point out in the bed article -their avatar’s physical actions. Manipulating, or capitalizing on a person’s goodness and generosity can be just as despicable as physically hitting them or even worse. I know a couple of men on HOME who have fallen victim to a fleecing, so I know it happens.

I do not, however, feel relieved when something bad happens to my friends or someone that I know Olivia. I am an empathetic creature by my nature, and so thereby feel more stress instead. I feel as if it is my duty to do something to help. As Krazy mentioned “as any decent person would.”

I do not think you are giving people too much credit Krazy. I think most people are decent- that has been my experience. But then I tend to be drawn to decent people and surround myself with them if I can. In my world the insidious cad seems to the exception to the rule.

As I mentioned above I have faced some things in my lifetime that have given me a different perspective on what is actually tragic or worth counting as a serious situation. Thereby avs fighting over a public domain, or yelling at each other about stupid games… or virtual relationships it is kind of not worth my woe. It is as they say a victimless crime. But when someone is ganged up on and put down it by a group of others… I think as Mr. Burke states, it is time for the “good man” to be called into action.

Once again great article Olivia! Thank you!

Like I said at the beginning of the article, the article was not about how to handle such situations but more of why people seem drawn to said situations, whether they get involved or not. And like I said, I think it has to do a lot with the curiosity of man. And I know I only glazed over it at the very end, but I truly believe that relief plays a big part in the voyeurism. If you step in, which I often do, or if you stay out and just watch, which I often do, that is a judgment call that only you can make for your own reasons. If you bring nothing to the table, don’t come to the table. If you’re there degrees the tracks of the runaway train and escalate, you’re off-track. If you’re there to gently dispense reason and understanding and can do so without causing injury to anyone and you feel up to it, then by all means, go for it. Honor doesn’t always mean being a hero. Knowing that you may not have all the answers or knowing when you’ve bitten off more than you can chew and should back out is honorable. Knowing to stay ready in your lifeguard tower until you’re sure it really is a shark or that someone is about to drown before you spring into action is also honorable. If you’re standing by just for the entertainment factor, who am I to say that is wrong. The situation would probably have happened whether you are standing there or not. If you are truly standing by and not adding to the situation then that can be as innocent as watching the news at night.

The idea of the consequences of trolling in Home having a direct effect on someone, as opposed to some crazy person dancing in your face and calling you a noob in real life, is that in Home you can just flick the off switch. I’m not going stand here and say something blatantly stupid like “well it’s not real life is it? So it shouldn’t matter”. Absolutely, the interactions we can with people within Home can be VERY real for us (hence the Home romances) but when it becomes detrimental to our state of mind, we should be able to remember that there are plenty of escape routes from any given situation in Home; that the off switch is never far away.

As for standing by and watching; well it’s a bit like teaching a child to ride a bike, you gotta let go some time right? They’ll never learn to balance if they don’t have a few scrapes first.

Public spaces hold less and less interest for me as time wears on.

Interesting statement.

I don’t know if I can accept this as entirely true. In some cases the outcome may be the same. The mind has a terrible, and awfully lovely way of tricking the rest of our being into thinking things are real even though we are in a “virtual reality.”

In light of your reply on the “Bed” article you must see how this statement might be met with some wry and humorous disbelief. (As riff cocks her head to the side and issues a lopsided smile while the penetrating tiger in her looks knowingly at you.)

I do understand why someone might stand aside and watch for several different reasons, however. One, good reason is that sometimes “help” is not wanted or needed. A Second reason is that sometimes we want and need to see what our subject is made of- i.e. their integrity -in the truest sense of that word -as in “what can be withstood without failing.” And lastly, sometimes it is prudent and wise to allow the subject the learning experience -the knowledge that they are capable of coping with, and conquering something that they themselves need to learn how to deal with allows them to become a stronger person. This can be quite rewarding for the subject.

Olivia suggests that to stand aside and watch suffering is to be sociopathic and sadistic, but above are some fine reasons why it might be justifiable, wise and prudent. In fact I have lost a friend for trying to “help” before.

“When I see someone that has lost everything that they hold precious, my empathy gland goes into overdrive!”

There is a simple truth that is oft quoted as follows:

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to stand by and nothing.” -Edmund Burke

If we are to take Mr. Burke at his word, it is simply not necessary to be a “white knight” -one needs only to be a “good man” willing to be called into action.

It is nice to know that there are some left in this world.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Edmund_Burke

That’s not to say I’m any kind of White Knight of Homeland either! In fact, I like to watch people and see HOW they deal with their attackers. Will they sink or will they swim? Let’s watch shall we! The fundamental difference about this ethos and its transformation from Home to RL is the real world carries real consequences. If it becomes something more of a gangbang of famboys on one avi then sure, I’ll step in (and I’ll enjoy it too) but I don’t see any harm in allowing people to see the true face of Home as a learning experience. I don’t wanna sound creepy when I say this (although I so totally will!) but I like people watching. I like observing the interactions of friends, families and the juiciest of all, the secret lovers. Ooh! TA-BOO! lol

Fantastic article Olivia, thanks.

I believe you are correct when you say that it has to do with learning. I think human beings learn COMPASSION through SUFFERING. Most of the time it takes personal suffering, but a few of us are empathetic enough to understand suffering through another.

As far as human suffering goes on a grand scale, I remember this quote at the end of the movie STARMAN with Jeff Bridges when the alien is asked what he likes about human beings in replies, “You are at your best when things are at their worst.”

e.g. when there is a event like a 911 or a Japanese Tsunami, people lose their differences of opinion, they sometimes lose their personalities, and often lose their ever present need to compete. They come together and surmount what is seemingly insurmountable -we triumph -we adapt -we change -we grow.

On a personal basis I can tell you I have experienced this on a microcosmic level. I lived on a tall ship for a while with a bunch of people -out at sea when a storm hits -there is no chance to fight with each other -instead one simply does the next most logical thing to keep oneself alive. The focus is on the sea. My personality disappeared. My inadequacies were not counted. There was only “what is the thing that I can do to help us stay alive?”

After one experiences something of this kind of magnitude I think one is forever changed. The bar for what is truly significant changes. Squabbling about trolls on a virtual site sort of seems inane. There is a different perspective that is cut loose to wander in one’s grey matter.

I had a captain I much admired who said: “on a ship a mistake can be deadly. If there is a problem I want to know. If you are honest that is all that I require.” And when I did fail to do something correctly I remember mustering my courage to tell him. I was ready to be dressed down shamefully amongst my peers. But something quite different happened.

His reply defined the perspective I now find myself partaking in when in the throws of any would-be lifetime disaster. A criteria that seems to flow as naturally through my thought processes as rivers flow to the sea.

1. Is anyone hurt?
2. Can it be fixed?
3. How long will it take to fix?

I have said it like a manta at times… and I find that it always puts me into the solution rather than the problem. A very productive place to be.

I take this criteria into account when I happen upon one of your “homewreckers.” I try to assess how harmful their infraction is. And, I try and talk with them if I have the time. And sometimes what I call a “Golden Moment” occurs. I actually think that they might or seem to be good people. Maybe even a person that would tow the line next to me if we were immersed in a greater human tragedy.

But if I cant talk to them I just beat them over the virtual head with my virtual stick -heh.

I have seen some crazy arguments in Home and some very funny ones. Strange as it sounds I have never been provoked to arguments. I have however broken up a bunch.

I once saw two groups fighting over pop up colors in our old mall. Seemed very important to the fam group that went rouge and broke away from the main group. lol?I left after 30 minutes and I do not remember seeing this group since them.

life changer.

Keep writing girlfriend. Love your articles!