You Want Mecha? Lockwood Brings You Mecha
Information courtesy of Megan Egglesden, Lockwood Product Manager, with commentary provided by NorseGamer, HSM Editor-in-Chief
Raise your hand if you grew up on the “giant robot” anime craze from thirty years ago.
I have a hard time with a lot of today’s anime. Too much frenetic, cel-shaded insanity with no brain cells. Too much CGI. Too much style over substance. Stuff from yesteryear just looks better. There were plots. And characters you cared about.
And, most importantly: big, nasty robots.
Who cares if they’re impractical? There’s nothing quite as fun as watching the SDF-1 Macross undergo a modular transformation, bring out the main gun, and start setting up boot-to-ass therapy sessions with heavily armed and undertrained bad guys.
So when I saw the latest PR announcement from Lockwood, I skimmed through the usual stuff — and then stopped. See if you can discover where I stopped:
———
ShowOff Winners Announced!
Visit Lockwood’s Competitions Page to view the lucky winners.
The Slice range from Cucumber
Slice, the latest range from Cucumber, is their most versatile yet, providing tables and sofas of slot-together shapes that can be combined to solve all your furnishing dilemmas in even the most irregularly shaped apartment!
Cucumber love bright colours and funky designs, but they also know the importance of function! Curve a sofa around a cylindrical table, use a square table to break up a row of rectangular sofas, or construct any combination you can imagine. The Slice range comes in three colours that mix and match well with each other too. Align and combine, then slice it up and start again!
Modular Segment (1 item): $0.99/€0.99/£0.79
Single Colour Set (4 items): $2.49/€2.49/£1.99
Multi Colour Set (12 items): $4.99/€4.99/£3.99
Coming up from Iron Fusion
Kojiro, Musashi, Ume and Matsu, powerful ancient robots of unknown origin arrive in PlayStation®Home next week.
———-
Powerful, ancient robots of unknown origin.
FRAK YEAH. That’s how all good anime series start. Right there. You can figure out the rest later. Toss in the cool antihero with the rakish hair, the love interest, the awkward protagonist, the evil boss with his army of disposable underlings, and even — shudder — some J-pop interludes if you have to, but damn it, everything starts with having impossibly armed GIANT ROBOT DEATH MACHINES that don’t at all overtly resemble Japanese samurai.
Look, I didn’t invent these rules, okay? I just acknowledge that they are to be followed.
Think about it. You’re flipping through the channels, and all that’s on are those insipid films starring Jennifer Aniston or Sandra Bullock in which people order lattes and stare out windows and Ryan Reynolds has to pretend he’s sensitive. How much cooler would that movie be if, halfway through, Ryan Reynolds shows up in a huge GIANT ROBOT SAMURAI DEATH MACHINE and saves the town from being obliterated by the Villainous Cam Clarke Voice using nothing more than neutron cannons and beam-saber karate?
SPOILER WARNING!
Lockwood’s giant robots are awesome.
END SPOILER WARNING!
Of particular note, it must be remembered that Lockwood’s team has an unusually high percentage of women, which just goes to prove one thing: Lockwood’s women are awesome. We’re fairly certain they know how to make fire using dance.
It’s like Lockwood decided, after the latest ShowOff competition and the cute furniture and the hip slim-fit clothing for people who spend all day listening to Suzanne Vega and Dave Matthews, that it was time to get back to the fundamentals. And there’s always been a bit of sly humor in their Iron Fusion lineup: if you know anything about nuclear physics, then you know what happens when a star tries to fuse iron. It blows up harder than Kirstie Alley.
And let’s not forget that these latest Iron Fusion robots are, as mentioned earlier, overtly following a Samurai theme. If you’re not familiar with whom Sasaki Kojirō and Miyamoto Musashi are, for instance, then you need to put down your Capri Sun sippy-pack and read some damn Eiji Yoshikawa before Ken Watanabe shows up to personally beat you like a screaming child at Walmart.
Damn, that should be a PR tagline. Buy Iron Fusion before Ken Watanabe shows up to personally beat you like a screaming child at Walmart.
So let’s have a quick rundown:
LOCKWOOD SAMURAI BOTS
Price: Who cares
Customized emotes: Yeah, probably
Coolness factor: Lockwood can now legally change its logo to an image of a bionic goddess boot-stomping a grizzly bear inside a nuclear reactor while using a flamethrower and a chainsaw on trolls wearing Vega masks, because that’s the level of guaranteed quality they bring to the table
Lockwood Iron Fusion Samurai Bots. Coming soon.
I want one and I WANT ONE NOW!!!!!!!
Does anybody remember Space Giants? If you do this is certainly for you. When kids my age were busy watching The Lone Ranger, my TV was busy with Godzilla and Space Giants. Musashi rulez!!!!
I remember StarBlazers..it is still on rerunning on cable…how about a HUGE giant Mech spider…