The Prodigal Daughter
by Terra_Cide, HSM editor
Hey, it’s good to be back home again…
October 12, 2010.
That was the last time I would see Home for a very long time. It was upsetting; knowing that for the friends which PSN was our only form of communication, it would seem as if I had fallen off the face of the earth, never to return again. But circumstances allowed me little time to reflect upon that loss. There were challenges that needed to be faced and overcome, and in the grand scheme of things, the comings and goings of some virtual reality community seemed petty and insignificant for me at the time.
I’m sure many of you felt this at some point in time as well, either due to the recent outage, or perhaps you yourself have faced personal challenges that required this virtual life we share to be put on an indefinite backburner. Or perhaps it’s simply due to the fact that a game or two that you’ve been dying to play has now been released, and nothing short of the Tunguska Event is going to pull you away from playing it until the disc has been worn out. Others – and I know this from speaking to them – even feel as if they’ve “outgrown” Home, and felt that the time was just right to move on.
Days and months passed. Home’s existence in my life became less of a missing piece than it had been when I first left. The friends that were closest to me had other means of contacting me, so it didn’t feel as if I was missing much without Home. And in my head, I really did believe this to be true.
Over time, as I grew into accepting the loss of Home, it simply got pushed into a corner of my mind where all fond memories, never to be relived again, resided.
And then I started writing here.
At first, I was quite reluctant. Having no access to a PS3 – and subsequently, Home – I didn’t see how I could possibly contribute in any meaningful way. And for quite a while, even after I was coaxed into contributing, I kept this rather large buffer about me, because to get close would mean reminding myself of what I lost.
Then everyone lost Home. And for three weeks, you all got a chance to experience what I had been experiencing for almost seven months.
Prior to this, I had been hanging out in the chatroom here at HSM. Mostly it was just Cubehouse and I, being excessively nerdy, with the odd person popping in to ask a question. Then others joined us; some for a few hours, others for a few days. Once it became quite clear that the PSN outage wasn’t some easy fix and all would be well again, more and more people started to show up – and stayed. I became reminded once more of the camaraderie that I had lost in the new relationships I gained.
In that time, a peculiar thing happened. I began to miss Home again.
There is no particular event that caused this; no one person or topic of conversation that I walked away from and woke up the next morning, suddenly missing this virtual community. In fact, the concept initially seemed preposterous to me. Think about it for a second; to miss a place that technically doesn’t exist is almost grounds to be shipped off to a mental institution. And yet, there were so many, who in the weeks of the outage, made no bones about missing Home.
It was after the network returned and I had stayed up that entire night, jumping around the various chatrooms, providing up to the minute links to the service restoration map that was on PlayStation’s North American blog when I finally admitted to myself that I in fact missed Home. Especially as at the time, even with the network restored, it wasn’t as if I myself could go back on, as I lacked the means to do so.
It was rather like being the last kid left behind at the bus stop.
When I was finally able to get back on – thanks to some wonderful individuals here at HSM – the timing could not have been more perfect. The day of HSM’s six month anniversary party was the day I returned Home, and the morning of that day, I just spent time reacquainting myself with the community. The party, as those of you who were there know, was a phenomenal success, and it’s moments like that – the moments of just being in the moment – that is what Home is all about for me.
Perhaps I’m getting soft as I age, or perhaps my extended hiatus gave me a “big-picture” perspective that I would not have been able to have otherwise, but instead of bristling with annoyance at some hitherto unknown male individual coming up to me and saying “Hello” for the dozenth time that hour, I actually answered back, and managed to get at least a couple of decent conversations out of people. At the same time replying to friends’ messages, who were shocked at seeing me online once more. By the end of that day, I think I fielded fifty messages from old friends alone. The following day found me networking and promoting the magazine; I even had a new friend – through no solicitation on my part – actually promote the magazine in their PSN status comment.
By the end of that first week, I found myself where I usually go at the end of a “day” in Home – sitting on a bench above Irem’s Festival Square, watching the sunset. I reflected upon how things changed in seven months – which in reality, Home only changes as much as you do – and what it felt like coming back to a place I really thought I’d never see again. It was like being new again, but without the default stigma, and armed with the knowledge of what to expect, what to avoid, and how to respond to self-righteous whinging with an indulgent grin. The lessons you learn by being away, I suppose.
Either way, it felt pretty damn good to be back Home.
June 19th, 2011 by Terra_Cide | 12 comments
Terra _Cide is the former Community Manager for Lockwood Publishing and Editor Emeritus for HomeStation Magazine.
Twitter
Aloha Terra…I am always impressed with everything you do..I am glad you consider me a ” person of interest”..Where is ChodaBoi..
I really can’t seem to understand why anyone would feel deceived because there is no Shrinking Potion. Home has delivered on so many ways that to nitpick the few that were announced and didn’t make the cut is beyond me.
I’ve debated whether or not to post this link, because even though it cracks me up, most people won’t quite get it.
In short, this is more or less a summation of the nonsensical whinging that pops up on the Sony forum from time to time, and how I would like to react to it.
(WARNING: JUVENILE HUMOR THAT WILL MAKE YOU GO “WTH!?” AND THEN HAVE YOU SNORT-LOL REPEATEDLY.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epgPURkd6WQ
I don’t know why, but there’s something about that Eddie Money song that makes that clip ten times funnier than what it would be without it.
Wait…what?There was really a shrinking potion promised for Home?
Lol just looked it up,if anyone thinks Home is broken because that 1 didn’t come true then you have my condolences for your lost sense of perspective.
Well I for one am very glad you are back Terra. I made a new friend in the HSM chat room who is now my friend on the PSN. This was a wonderful, heartfelt article like the others you have written and your return to us in Home is a blessing. Welcome back!
Great article Terra. Its funny that I met you on Twitter before meeting you on PSN/Home, but it sounds like you are happysto back and that’s great. I live a very busy life with school, work, raising my daughter and taking care of my family and so ps home is good way for me to interact with people when am “home” riden (no pun intended lol). I also know what it means to have real things in my life take front seat to being online on PSN/PS Home. So I totally feel you. Sounds like many people are happy to see you back.
Add my name to the long list of those that are so happy that Terra is back. I didn’t know her before her long absents but became friends in HSM chat. Now that she is on Home again, we have shared some great times. I can only see them becoming more fun and more often. My best friend is my best friend through Home… 2 peas in a pod… same page, same wave length, hearts, minds and souls in perfect sync… how could anyone just fall into step with that? Terra did… now there is 3 peas in this pod. If that saying is true, 2 is company, 3 is a crowd… Im loving the crowd!!! Oh, and if you see the three of us together, sharpen your wit, put on your fastest conversation running shoes, or just sit back and enjoy the show… we will bring it!
great job! always enjoy reading your articles ^o^ see on PSH soon x]
My apologies if you don’t want to reveal precisely why you left Home Terra, it’s just that it seems to be central to the theme of this article. For the rest of us, it wasn’t our choice. But for you it clearly became one since you left Home for 7 months — and likely would have been longer if not persuaded to get at least tangentially involved again. I was hoping that would be mentioned at some point. If it’s too personal to mention I can certainly understand, but I was curious. Thanks for the article.
Technically, it wasn’t my choice either.
I didn’t leave both the PSN and Home because I wanted to, or because of some imagined Home drama, but because circumstances in my offline life -- which you’re right, they are too personal and really aren’t anyone else’s business -- dictated it. I didn’t even *own* a PS3 in those seven months. And because of those circumstances -- which, unfortunately, are still ongoing -- I didn’t realistically see myself with the means of returning to Home.
I’m a pragmatic person, Trillian; I divide my world into needs and wants. I take care of my needs before I consider my wants, and I’m willing to ignore my wants for as long as it takes until my needs are met. As much as I love Home and the relationships I’ve made there, a PS3 for me falls under the want column. And as I mentioned in the article, if not for some very extraordinary people here at HSM, that want would still be unfulfilled today.