Here in the northeast, we tend to blame the Puritans for deeming every and any sexual act as taboo (as well as marginalizing women), and such an acronym seems congruent to their outlook on just about anything of that nature.

http://www.snopes.com/language/acronyms/fuck.asp

See also:

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=fuck

There is a majority of young men who use HOME, even very young …
This is a fact. and for them, women remain a mystery if not a fear.

The more the female avatar display sexual characteristics, the greater the risk of the reaction of males will be violent.

I think that all these acts are not the original purpose of hurting, but simply fear of the thing that attracts you.

When I want to be no one or nothing in the HOME, I took a male avatar ^ ^

(Editor’s note: this comment is from a reader in France. I have only minimally altered it.)

You know, whenever I read one of these articles involving the genders, I keep hearing Joe Jackson’s Real Men playing in my head.

In light of the current events involving homosexuals in the military and their right to marry, we as a society really are being asked to decide whether or not the traditional male-female pair bonding and gender roles are all that significant now. Yes, in the biological sense, it’s necessary in order to perpetuate the species, but to raise that resultant family? There’s plenty of single parents out there -- and I’m one of them -- that suggest otherwise, and so does it really matter if the pair raising that child are of the same gender?

The science is still quite in its infant stages, but studies are showing that the resultant children brought up in a homosexual family aren’t as likely to be hard-wired as adults to accept the traditional gender roles that males are supposed to do “X” and females are supposed to do “Y”. So it becomes another nature versus nurture debate.

I think it’s absolutely spot-on your assessment that due to the lack of visible policing in Home, people feel they are free to behave pretty much in any manner they choose. Which is why you see the prevalence of what I call the “Angry Young Man Syndrome.” And then on the other end of the spectrum, you have the people who do bend the gender lines because it is so easy to do on Home, and their reasons vary and DarthGranny has already covered them, so I won’t go into them here.

And to understand the f-bomb and why it has such a dichotomy attached to it, you have to think back linguistically to what it originally stood for: For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. There was nothing intimate or romantic about it to begin with. In the Puritanical days, people were put on public display in stockades with those words etched over their heads. It’s an acronym of shame.

This is a brilliant read, RainMan, and I thank you for writing it.

The fact is some people don’t learn at all. There are people thick enough out there that they ultimately keep thinking their ways will ultimately prove positive.

Why? They saw older generations do it and they figured if it worked for the old man, it will work for them.

As for the media, I still think they have at least a small factor in why these gender roles exist. A majority of shows on feature characters in the standard roles, but then again, a lot of these shows seek to recreate average.

Thank you for your thought provoking comments.

“They are the “stronger sex”, but when they feel they can use that strength to dominate or harass women, I believe it is a true sign of weakness”

I remember reading somewhere (or hearing this from someone) that whenever we insult someone, we are really insulting ourselves -- we are just projecting it onto someone else.

Thus, whenever we boys get rejected and we spew insults at females,the insults are really about how we were unable to live up to the “cultural norm” and we ultimately blame you -- the female.

Am I making sense?

We have a winner!

That’s what I was hopefully trying to get across. They know they’re not getting anything real. They just want to feed their egos in thinking how they can get any girl they want -- when we all know that’s not true for most men.

Thank you Seal for your thought provoking comments.

As someone that did see Catfish and did consider using that when writing the article, I felt that Catfish adressed more of the interaction side of internet, not gender roles. It questioned the reasons why we do things online, like having our avatar look the way we wish to look or why we act differently. It also questions why we are so quick to believe people online.

The fact is my article only questions the place of gender roles within an online society, it doesn’t question how this anonymity with being online is any good or why men even hit on women via Home.

Again, thanks for your comments. Really got my gears turning.

Here’s a little thought experiment for you, which may clarify what’s going on in Home.

Why is the “f-bomb”, a word which describes an act associated with love and intimacy, used as an attack? Why is “eff you!” the ultimate verbal slap in the face? So ultimate, that I choose not to spell it out, even in this mature and literate venue.

Truth be told, in the deep animal unconscious we all carry, for most males the act of sexual penetration is not about love, but about domination. That is why rape is not so much a sex crime as a forcible humiliation. That is why mass rape is a tool of war. And it’s why there is less prejudice against the active than the passive partner in homosexual encounters, especially in male-dominated societies. (“He’s so macho, he f*cks other men.”)

So how does this apply to Home? Those silly boy-avatars who dance on top of you are not looking for love, and any sex they find is likely to be solitary. They are after ego-gratification, proving they are superior to the drivers of the other avatars because they can imply they have sexually dominated them.

This is why these encounters are so deeply offensive to women on Home. We know what is being stated: “I’m a dood and you’re nothing, bitch!” And it’s why finding a respectful and affectionate male in Home, one who is actually trying to meet the woman behind the avatar, is so precious.

And before you roll your eyes — yes, those men are out there. They’re just outnumbered a gazillion to one by the boy-children whose minds are on permanent default, no matter what their avatars are wearing.

Thanks for writing this, Rain. You’ve given me a lot to think about.

If people were to use that more we would see a good turn around.

But overall, this is a great read and I enjoyed the presentation. Kudos!

2 more movies to watch, RainMan =m

Catfish may or may not be real, but provides a valuable lesson.