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09.01.2014

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In a society where there are no longer strict demands to keep a marriage together, Toler advises couples to think of the union as a job, and to do the work required to make it work.
In other words, that overwhelming feeling makes you believe that he or she is The One when really it is like a chemical reaction. You have to set up rituals and routines while you are still in love and doing silly stuff that you continue throughout your marriage. In this unique, profoundly inspirational memoir, Divorce Court star Judge Lynn Toler shares her mother’s wisdom for learning to conquer anger and become immune to insult.


As the judge starring on the hit nationally syndicated television show Divorce Court, Lynn Toler witnesses, en masse, the thematic mistakes made in American marriages. Toler credits her mother’s “rules” for life – a life that saw her grow up the daughter of a poor teen mother and endure a husband who suffered mental illness and alcoholism – with providing the grounding for her own success and happiness. She herself has also been wed for 22 years and has seen both the highs and lows of matrimony in her own marriage as well as the marriages of those close to her.
Toler shows how the mindset of “a black woman who knew how to make things work” taught her the power of knowing how to manage one’s emotional business—lessons that this book offers in wrenching stories written in spare and graceful prose.





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