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26.02.2014

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Christopher Germer, PhD, author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion; clinical psychologist specializing in the application of Buddhist psychology and meditation to alleviate difficult emotions in psychotherapy and everyday life. It is a harder skill to develop than goodwill meditation as some emotions seem like compassion but will cause us more harm than good. Ideally practice Loving kindness before practicing compassion as it can help develop the mind to this meditation, like good rich soil develops beautiful flowers and better crops.
True compassion is most often spontaneous, but more frequently independent as it can exist without any background or support emotion or idea apart from itself and empathy. You can use words if you wish, such as "May their health improve soon" or "May they have success and happiness at school" if it helps to develop compassion.
If you feel resentment or sorrow, or if compassion does not arise let go of these feelings and judgments. You may focus on just one case for the entire time you give to the meditation, or many depending on your level of practice. The purpose of this practice is to not only build compassion but come to terms with realization that the individual or people who have caused harm will eventually meet the other end of their actions. Compassion is also one of the four "divine homes", which are the 4 main emotions worth encouraging - goodwill or loving kindness, appreciation, equanimity and compassion.
Unlike other meditations such as loving kindness or appreciative joy, you neither start with yourself, nor direct it to your nearest and dearest in ordinary circumstances.


The problem is if the practitioner is not sincere in their compassion it becomes shallow and harder to express, but also that it very easily becomes false compassion. Ultimately compassion means caring enough to do the difficult tasks that we'd normally like to avoid and the most difficult compassion is to accept the facts of life and our own limitations and to let go. You haven't failed at this meditation at all by feeling these, you can actually use these feelings as a basis to develop compassion and forgiveness to yourself, as well as for insight purposes as how the mind functions. The goal however is give them the time to let the heart and mind become peaceful, forgiving and develop equanimity towards the subject of compassion. Consider the necessity of virtue to be able to be sincere, the wisdom to be compassionate without becoming trapped and the strength of character and skill to act when needed even when it is hard, while accepting the realities of what comes to us and others of what we cannot cure. The traps are numerous in this meditation because on one level it seems like compassion but has no benefit and could even cause harm.
Some suggestions are to compare the advantages of true compassion and the difference it makes in your life. In variation to goodwill meditation which can be directed openly anywhere, compassion is slightly different as more a specific type where it needs an object of focus, rather than a general feeling, which if being general can make the compassion seem shallow. As when we can observe that our actions have implications to ourselves and others, compassion drives us towards being wiser.
Those who are neutral or disliked also don't get much of a mention, because this meditation doesn't really change your view of them.


In this the flame is compassion and for beginners it is very weak until it is strong enough to naturally support itself. Compassion can be practiced in any posture such as reclining, sitting, standing and walking, although sitting is the default choice. By practicing compassion, we reshape our mental habits and our brain to be more tolerant and forgiving, but we also can see the ways that it can do more harm than good so we become wise and more prudent in our actions. The level of true compassion you have to yourself is proportionate to the true compassion you can direct to another person. It can be any case such as they might have had a difficult day at work or school, had an accident and was injured, they may have lost a loved one very recently, became ill themselves or whatever the case might be, they all can be the subject of true compassion.
This breaking down of the barriers while developing peace, forgiveness and understanding is just one of the many benefits of practicing compassion meditation. Ultimately they are harming themselves the most which is where they can be a subject of compassion.



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