SAFEGUARD BB FOR LIFE-ENDING DECISIONS

  NOTIFY FAMILY OF LIFE-ENDING DECISION

    Usually we will communicate with our families
when we are coming to the end of our lives.
The people who are closest to us will know about our health conditions
and they might already be deeply involved in our medical decisions.

    If we have appointed family members to be our proxies,
these persons will obviously be involved in any end-of-life decisions.

    But we might come to the end of our lives
when our only remaining family members are distant and uninvolved.
In such cases, it might be wise for us to notify them
that we are considering bringing our lives to an end.

    In deciding which people we might notify,
we can think of all the people who will learn about our deaths later.
Which relatives and friends will gather for funeral or memorial services?
Which of these would want to know when we are dying?

    Any such notification will give others the opportunity to respond
in any ways that seem appropriate to them.
Some will want to know more about the circumstances
that are leading us to consider choosing death.
They might have some matters they want to complete with us
before we begin the final process that will bring death.

    All the laws and proposed laws that mention notifying family members
allow this to be an optional safeguard.
If sharing the plans for death with family members is not required,
the patient might decide to keep the planned death secret.
Each person facing death should decide just whom to notify
and how much detail to share with each relative or friend.

    For example, if the patient knows in advance
that a certain family member will oppose
any and all choices at the end of life,
then that family member must be kept out of the loop,
even if this requires keeping the plans for death secret
from a large number of family members
because some of them might disclose the plan
to the family member who opposes any chosen death.

    Likewise, if the patient who is considering a wise choice of death
comes from a family with religious objections to choosing death,
then that patient might have to seek support from other people,
who will assist in separating any urges toward irrational suicide
from the truly wise choice of the best pathway towards death.
When some (or all) family members must be kept out of the loop,
then all the other safeguards become even more important.

    And written laws that mention notifying family
should avoid the legal term "next of kin",
because the legal definition of next of kin
might not be the people who are actually closest to us
as we draw our lives to a close.
We should decide for ourselves just which people to notify
of our plans to bring our lives to a peaceful end.




HOW NOTIFYING FAMILY MEMBERS
DISCOURAGES IRRATIONAL SUICIDE
AND OTHER FORMS OF PREMATURE DEATH


    However, whenever a dying patient does involve family members
at least to the extent of letting them know of the impending death,
there will be meaningful opportunities for family members
to intervene to prevent an irrational suicide or a hasty death.

    If someone believes he or she has a disease,
a concerned relative might insist that this be confirmed by doctors
before any planning for death goes forward.
Some people have killed themselves
under the mistaken belief that they were dying of cancer,
but an autopsy later found no cancerous cells.

    Even when the patient really does have a terminal disease,
notifying family members might result in a better final chapter of life.
It would be premature to opt for death
when some family members are willing to care for the patient
until he or she reaches a more appropriate time to die.

    When family members are involved in planning for death,
the whole family can consider the best time for death.
And the family members will not be surprised by a sudden death
(which they might regard as premature)
if they wanted to offer more care and support to the dying relative.

    Several of the other safeguards ask for the opinions of family members.
Involving people who are close to us
does not necessarily mean that we will postpone death.
If everyone agrees that death now is better than death later,
then the involvement of family will make this a more meaningful death.
And the support of family-members can help the patient to choose
not only the best time to die but also the best methods.



Created March 2, 2007; revised 5-14-2008; 8-28-2008; 9-10-2008; 10-16-2008; 10-23-2008;
2-12-2010; 5-20-2010; 2-4-2012; 2-11-2012; 2-23-2012; 3-24-2012; 8-3-2012; 8-23-2012;
3-6-2013; 6-28-2013; 7-13-2014; 5-16-2015; 1-13-2016; 12-8-2017; 11-15-2018; 1-13-2020;


Go to the Catalog of Safeguards for Life-Ending Decisions

This discussion of letting relatives know about plans for death
is Safeguard BB in How to Die: Safeguards for Life-Ending Decisions:
"Notify Family of Life-Ending Decision".



Go to the list of 26 recommended safeguards.
The above safeguard is not one of the best 26 safeguards.



Go to the index page for the Safeguards Website.



Go to the Right-to-Die Portal.



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