The following two pages quoted from Imprinted Sexual Fantasies
appears in a section called "Coping with Fixed Sex-Scripts".
To see the wider context, go to the table
of contents.
This section begins on page 50.
The quotation begins at the top of page 53.
PRESIDENTS KENNEDY AND CLINTON CAUGHT IN THEIR SEX-SCRIPTS.
If we recognize that we are not responsible
for our imprinted sex-scripts
(but only for the sexual behavior that we create in response),
we can be more tolerant of people who have advanced in other ways
(politically, economically, culturally, intellectually, spiritually)
but who have sex-scripts that even they deplore.
For example, it should not be a mark against
John F. Kennedy
that he kept young women in the White House for recreational sex.
If this had become known during his presidency,
it probably would have ruined him politically
because the contrast between his professed standards
and his actual behavior would have been impossible to overlook.
But the record shows that he accomplished much as President
even tho he had this limitation from his imprinted sexual fantasies.
His secret sex-life did not seem to corrupt his work as President.
In 1998, President Clinton was discovered to
be involved
in various sexual behaviors which he did not want to become public.
His claim, also, was that his private sexual behavior
had no effect on his work as President.
And the public seemed to agree with him.
This might illustrate the change of public opinion between these two
Presidents.
We too can separate private sexual behavior from our public behavior.
Perhaps the American public was more forgiving of Clinton
because more of them have also had sexual relationships
that they would not want to be made public.
And if they are able to compartmentalize their own lives,
they could see the same possibility in their President.
The effort to remove President Clinton from office did not succeed,
perhaps in part because we no longer believe that sexual behavior
is central to one’s core identity and professional capacities.
Another great man who had an unconventional
sex life was Paul Tillich.
But that is not relevant for evaluating his work as a theologian.
When the unusual sex-scripts of geniuses of
the past are disclosed,
this should not detract from what they achieved as persons.
A common case in point is the disclosure of homosexuality.
Because society rarely gives equal honor to homosexuals,
this kind of disclosure has often tended to harm the reputation
of a great artist or intellectual of the past.
But having an unusual sex-script was an added problem to cope with
—along with all the intellectual or artistic challenges.
As society becomes more accepting of uncommon sex-scripts,
perhaps such disclosures will do less damage to one’s reputation.
Chapter III
SEXUAL IMPRINTING AT CRITICAL
PERIODS by JAMES
PARK
53
Sometimes our imprinted sexual fantasies lead us to self-disgust.
As moral persons we condemn the behavior our sex-scripts dictate.
Such conflict is especially acute for moral and religious leaders.
They have devoted their professional lives to teaching morality;
but they cannot follow their own directives.
The sex-script hypothesis might help them
understand themselves.
They have not failed to advance morally—as they have advised others.
Rather they have misunderstood the nature of their sexual impulses.
Perhaps they have experienced a series of meaningless sexual encounters
with mere sex-objects because they followed their imprinted sexual
fantasies.
If they can understand that they did not choose their sex-scripts,
they will feel less guilty for their behavior.
Their sexual fantasies—imprinted at an early age—
led them into behavior they would not have chosen rationally.
Some people explain such behavior as addiction.
They experience themselves as powerless over their impulses.
Even if we question the sex-addiction model,
we notice the phenomenon it attempts to explain: unwanted sexual
behavior.
Sometimes people who are not proud of their
sexual behavior
point out redeeming features of the relationship, for instance,
that they also have meaningful social interaction with their
sex-partners.
But if this is mainly rationalization, they might eventually realize
that their behavior was driven primarily by their imprinted sexual
fantasies
—that the relationship had little other meaning beyond sex.
As we acknowledge that we have permanent
sex-scripts within us,
we will have a much better chance of understanding our lives.
Perhaps we have noticed that a lot of our sexual interests,
our sexual ‘turn-ons’, and our sexual orgasms seem rather primitive.
As we gain more self-understanding in other areas of our lives,
we are likely also to raise questions about our sexual responses.
We can step back and analyze what has been happening in our sex-lives.
And if our sex-scripts clash with the persons
we are becoming,
we can unpack our sexual imprinting—and the resulting sex-scripts.
We might seek to transcend the sexual responses we once took for
granted.
In our more mature selves, we might find ways to reinvent our sexuality.
Chapter IX of this book explores transcending
our imprinted sex-scripts:
Even tho we cannot get rid of these automatic responses,
we can create personal relationships of such depth and meaning
that our sexual imprinting fades into the background.
54 IMPRINTED SEXUAL
FANTASIES: A NEW KEY FOR
SEXOLOGY by JAMES PARK
The 2 pages quoted above come from Imprinted
Sexual
Fantasies: A New Key for Sexology by James Park.
These are the last two pages of Chapter III.
The complete table of contents will appear if you click the title above.
The page numbers appear at the bottoms of the pages.
Several words have bold face in the printed version.
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