C. How Specific Relationships Supersede Our
Sex-Scripts.
Transcending our imprinted sexual fantasies
does not mean
getting rid of our built-in sexual interests and responses.
But we might develop new sexual dynamics in specific relationships
—responses to particular persons—
that become more significant than our generic sexual responses.
Transcending our imprinted sex-scripts
requires an on-going,
perhaps committed, loving relationship with a specific person.
After some time, the special dynamics of that relationship
might become so powerful and meaningful
that our imprinted sex-scripts pale by comparison.
A special sexual bond might develop between us,
which only we can understand and describe.
Our sexual responses become attuned to a specific partner.
And if another sex-partner became available—even a ‘better’ one—
that new potential sex-partner would not be appealing
because our generic sexual responses have diminished or even
disappeared.
Real sexuality (responding to a specific person)
has replaced role sexuality (responding to a generic type).
122 IMPRINTED SEXUAL
FANTASIES: A NEW KEY FOR
SEXOLOGY by JAMES PARK
But even if we develop this kind of special sexual
bond
with a particular person that allows us to ignore our imprinted sexual
fantasies,
we will always be vulnerable to returning to our sex-scripts.
For instance, if the special relationship comes to an end,
then we find ourselves alone with our imprinted fantasies.
If we lose the particular relationship in which we developed our real
sexuality,
we might revert to the role sexuality still present in our brains.
Because transcending our sex-scripts requires
a particular relationship
in which a special sexual bonding replaces our original sex-scripts,
no therapy or growth-technique will achieve this change.
It is not a matter of replacing one sexual pattern with another.
But sexual imprinting is such a primordial part of our selves
that we will probably never be completely free of it.
Nevertheless, we can still work to create those special relationships
in which specific sexual bonding carries us beyond our sexual fantasies.
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Sexual
Fantasies: A New Key for Sexology by James Park.
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