Praise be Jesus and Mary, now and forever.
In the Gospel today, our Lord, dialogues with the scribes and the Pharisees about right and wrong, essentially what's permissible and not permissible to do on the Sabbath.
Jesus was saying healing is permissible on the Lord's day, while the scribes and Pharisees were definitely doing something that wasn't permitted, i.e. becoming angry with the Lord and planning on how to do away with Him.
It's not permitted on the Sabbath, or any other day, actually.
Dialogue is important, even if, at times, the other side is completely not open to what you have to say.
Today concluding our brief series on gender theory, we're going to give some suggestions about how to dialogue with those who aren't on the same page with us.
If you were here on Saturday, you'll probably remember us asking the question, how often should you give transitional surgery or hormones, etc., to someone who claims to be transgender?
The answer is … the same amount of times, or as often as you would give liposuction to someone who's anorexic.
Problem's not with the body.
The problem is with the mind here.
But first of all, one thing we can agree on with other people is that unjust discrimination should be avoided, and that people need to be respected.
It's a basic foundational principle, if you believe in the dignity of the human person, which the Church speaks about a lot nowadays, and which is just part of basic common sense, actually.
When we talk about gender and LGBTQ issues, especially with non-Catholics or worldly Catholics, the discussion should be at the level of worldview, not just at the level of what I think or what I feel.
I used to listen to a Christian apologist who said that philosophy comes to us basically in three ways.
He said that the first level of philosophy is theory.
It's the different philosophical schools, Platonism, Aristotelianism, Thomism, Existentialism, Rationalism, Postmodernism, Hegelianism, you name it, all those.
That's level one, philosophy.
Level two is the arts, so books, movies, television, music, paintings, sculpture.
So the arts convey to us a certain understanding of reality.
Whether you think about it or not, they present a worldview to you.
Level three philosophy is what he called table talk.
It's when you and I sit down and we begin discussing what we believe, how we see things, our preferences, I think that this is wrong and this is okay.
For example, we sit down and talk about what we think about transgenderism and what we hear and what's being said, and how we feel about that.
That's level three philosophy.
When you talk about gender with others, you need to get them to think critically.
So you need to address the question at level one apologetics.
You have to approach it from a worldview perspective.
It doesn't mean that you have to know all the ins and the outs of all the schools of philosophy, but you just want to get the other person to be able to clearly articulate what they believe.
So you have to ask questions, you also have to be open to listening, not just talking.
And then you've got to have some skill in challenging them on why they believe what they believe.
So what do they really believe about life?
Does life have any ultimate meaning or purpose?
How do they know what's right and wrong?
Is there any such thing as right and wrong?
Are they religious?
Do they believe in God?
Bishop Barron has a pretty good approach with all this.
He says that you first find something you can both agree on.
For example, unjust discrimination is wrong.
Mistreating people or insulting them is wrong.
Violence is wrong.
Hopefully the other people believe that violence is wrong, right?
But then you try to steer the conversation in a different direction, in the direction of worldview.
So instead of addressing the question of gender right away, head-on, you can open up the discussion.
Get them, first of all, to share their creed, ask them questions.
We know what we believe, right?
We believe in one God, Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, everything we recite on Sundays, the Nicene Creed.
What does this person that you're talking with actually believe about reality, life, meaning, and purpose of life?
It's on the question of worldview that gender theory rests, not just on bathroom choices and pronouns, which are just secondary things, basically.
Not too long ago, I was at a graduation party, and I was talking with a young girl, and she was telling me that she was an atheist and she was very unhappy.
As we always say, that's a good thing, right?
If you're an atheist and unhappy, that's actually a positive thing.
And I was asking her, well, if you're an atheist and you think that life has no meaning or ultimate purpose, right?
She agreed to that.
And I said, well, what about morality?
She said, that's just subjective, meaning I'm just the one who decides what's right and wrong.
But then the discussion turned to the transgender issue, and she's a proponent of that and all that.
I kept trying to unsuccessfully point out to her something.
She said she's a moral relativist, a moral subjectivist, but at the same time she was arguing that some things are right and some things are wrong.
For example, transgender activism in her eyes is right and good.
Not just right for her, it's something everyone needs to embrace.
You realized that when you were talking with her.
At one point she tried to stump me with a complicated moral question.
The question was something like, if you were driving a bus and you're about to hit five people, you can hit the five people or you can swerve and hit your grandmother instead.
What would you do?
I kept asking her, well, help me at the beginning here.
Are you saying that killing is wrong?
Is killing someone wrong?
Is that what you're saying?
Somehow I got her to admit that killing innocent people was wrong.
So I said, well, that's very good, I'm glad to hear that you're pro-life.
I'm actually very glad to hear, I didn't realize you were pro-life.
She didn't like it when I said that, believe it or not, that you're pro-life.
She wasn't really happy with that.
In a very clumsy way I was trying to get her to see, you can't say that morality is totally subjective and it's wrong to kill innocent people at the same time.
You can't do that.
You can say, I personally don't like killing innocent people, but if you're a true moral subjectivist, you can't say it's wrong to kill someone else.
Because then what are you doing?
You're imposing your morality on them.
And that brings us back to Sartre, who we talked about the other day, who said that his subjective truth is true for everyone, i.e. through power, I will impose my beliefs upon you.
So I was trying to point out to her that moral subjectivism is false.
No one actually lives it.
No one actually does.
If you don't believe me, cut in line in front of someone who's a moral subjectivist in the store or steal their wallet from them.
See how they react.
I'm not telling you to steal anyone's wallet, by the way, please don't do that.
I'm just saying that pretty quickly, you'll find out that these people become moral objectivists right away.
Hey, you can't steal my wallet, what are you doing?
And I can say, well, why not?
Why are you imposing your morality upon me?
You shouldn't be doing that.
The fact that this young girl was a promoter of transgenderism belied her stated belief that life is meaningless and without purpose.
The fact that you're an activist for some cause is proof that you believe that some things are meaningful, that life is meaningful, that there are things that are worth standing up and fighting for.
I think that by the end of the conversation, she wanted to rip my head off, but it was a fruitful conversation, fruitful at least in the fact that I'm at least praying for her each day now.
That was a good thing.
Anyway, speaking about gender, open up the discussion with people.
Again, what do they believe about life, about eternity, about God, about morality, about truth, about reality?
Get them to articulate their own views, not just tear down your views.
No, what do you actually believe?
Don't just tear down everything I believe.
It's easy to tear down.
What are you building up?
They may have never actually done that before.
They may have never actually articulated their beliefs, even for themselves.
Ask them, why do you believe those things?
What reason do you have for believing those things?
Are those reasons even reasonable?
Many people don't even think about why they believe something and whether their worldview makes sense and if there are contradictions to it that they've never even looked at.
It's like when we were younger and we used to sing the popular songs of the day, right?
Do we ever stop to ask ourselves, hey, what are they singing about?
Is this actually a good thing?
Is this actually something that would be pleasing to God?
Some people never stop and honestly ask themselves, does gender theory even make sense?
Does it even make any sense?
Because it doesn't actually.
Then share the truth with them.
Share it in your own words as best as you can.
Let the Holy Spirit work through you.
He'll give you the words to say.
And if they're not open to the truth, don't waste your breath, don't lose your cool either.
Pray for them instead.
Maybe even give them a medal of Our Lady.
Give them a miraculous medal.
Tell them it's for everyone, not just non-Catholics.
That's what I even do.
I usually tell people, Our Lady said whoever wears this medal receives great graces from her, so if you want to wear it, you're more than welcome to.
If they accept the medal, it's a good sign.
Our Lady can start working on them in those cases.
Regarding the question of preferred pronouns, I don't recommend that people cave into that, in part for the reasons that we've talked about in previous reflections.
If someone tells me that I should or have to use pronouns that don't correspond to a person's biological sex, I'd refuse.
No, not because it's policing speech, even though it is.
Not because it's against science and against right reason, even though it is, actually.
I'd refuse on religious grounds.
The Eighth Commandment says you shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
Realizing that he is a she and she is a he is a lie, and God forbids me to lie against the truth.
And it's not a question of, does this person have a right to know the truth or not?
No, they have a right to know the truth, and I have a right to speak it.
Actually, a God-given obligation to speak the truth.
So I'd refuse for religious reasons.
Religious liberty, essentially.
If I'm going to be persecuted, I want it to be for the faith.
I don't want to be just persecuted for standing up for the natural law or the natural order, which I would be doing at the same time.
No, I'd do it for religious reasons.
The Eighth Commandment, do not lie, do not bear false witness.
If they want to fire me for that, I'd say, okay, well, I'll see you in court.
You're violating my religious liberty.
I don't think they'd fire me at the farm here, but you never know.
You never know what could happen.
Sometimes here, strange things happen, right?
To be clear, when you're speaking with others about gender theory, you should tell them that you don't embrace it, that you don't subscribe to that ideology.
If they criticize you or begin to call you names, well, praise God, right?
Thanks be to God.
It's a beautiful thing.
Remember the last beatitude, Jesus says, Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.
Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven, he says, Matthew 5, verses 11 and 12.
So don't spoil that blessing by insulting them back, right, which is our natural response, right?
You could say, well, yes, our Lord said we'd be treated this way if we stood up for him.
You could start the conversation that way and then ask him, are you religious?
Are you religious at all?
See where it goes.
Maybe with the insult, maybe then afterward they see that you don't insult them back, maybe they'll be open to talking to you.
I don't know if all that is helpful or not, there's just some thoughts on how to engage in conversation with people who disagree with us regarding gender.
As best as we can, we do need to be civil and respectful.
So if I'm a hothead and I just want to lay into the person and steamroll them, sometimes I want to do that.
It's probably better for me to exercise self-control, keep my mouth shut, restrain myself from breathing fire upon them.
Pray for the grace to do that, and then simply pray for them.
That'll be our most important work, our most important witness will be prayer a lot of times.
So let's ask Our Lady, the Seat of Wisdom, the wisdom to know how to engage people in talking about gender, and also for the wisdom to know when to disengage and simply lift up those people in prayer.
Praise be Jesus and Mary, now and forever.