00:00:00:11 - 00:00:29:04 Rev. Trudy Are you struggling to find joy? Do catastrophes feel like everything? Do you constantly question your impact? That's purpose fatigue. And you're not the only one who gets it. Welcome to Perspectives, a podcast where the clergy women of the First United Methodist Church of San Diego share their musings on Scripture, theology, and what it has to do with us. Welcome to this episode of Perspectives. 00:00:29:04 - 00:01:02:08 Rev. Trudy We are in week two of our new sermon series, talking about taking care of our mind, body, and spirit. And I'm Reverend Trudy Robinson. I am here with the director of the New Life Counseling Center, Sheilah Cameron, and she is full of wisdom. So we're tapping her for sure and having some really good conversation. We've been talking about these common situations people find in our lives these days, and we're trying to see what the Bible might have to say to these circumstances. 00:01:02:08 - 00:01:36:00 Rev. Trudy And so today we are talking about purpose fatigue. And we're looking at Elijah, his story. Elijah, I like this guy. I do. And so our scripture passage comes from 1 Kings chapter 19. So I'm going to read a few verses prior to the really focused verses for Sunday. It's from 1 Kings chapter 19. 00:01:36:02 - 00:01:59:22 Rev. Trudy I'm going to read to you verses 1 - 4, and then skip down to what we'll be talking about on Sunday, 9 - 14 of the same chapter. This just gives us a little bit more to talk about. And so, this is Elijah's story: “Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 00:02:00:01 - 00:02:23:22 Rev. Trudy Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, ‘So may the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life like the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.’” — Did you catch a threat? There's a threat there. Okay, — “Then he was afraid, and he got up and fled for his life. And he came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah. 00:02:23:22 - 00:02:50:07 Rev. Trudy And he left his servant there. But he himself, Elijah, went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die. ‘It is enough now, O Lord, take my life away, for I am no better than my ancestors.’” — And then, after a little bit of compassion by God, this is what happens — 00:02:50:09 - 00:03:15:00 Rev. Trudy “The word of the Lord came to him, saying, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’ Elijah answered, ‘I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life to take it away.’” 00:03:15:01 - 00:03:41:17 Rev. Trudy He said—God said, go out and stand—or excuse me, the messenger, it's a messenger at this point—“He said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord. But the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind, an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake, a fire. 00:03:41:17 - 00:04:05:10 Rev. Trudy But the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, a sound of sheer silence. When he heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’ He answered, ‘I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. 00:04:05:10 - 00:04:19:06 Rev. Trudy For the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life to take it away.’” 00:04:19:08 - 00:04:27:10 Rev. Trudy Notice he says the same thing twice, right? He is really over it. He is ready to be done. 00:04:27:11 - 00:04:30:04 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT That's him being fed up. Yes, absolutely. 00:04:30:09 - 00:04:38:16 Rev. Trudy Absolutely. Never mind the fact that God came to him in all these different ways. Right? He's done. That sounds like purpose fatigue. 00:04:38:16 - 00:04:42:15 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT To me, too. 00:04:42:17 - 00:04:52:22 Rev. Trudy That's kind of a new phrase for me. In the clergy circles, we talk about compassion fatigue. I love this phrase, though, but I'm curious about what it means to you. 00:04:53:00 - 00:05:35:05 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT So it's similar. It's kind of parallel. Okay. But let's break that down. So purpose and fatigue. Purpose is a mission or a calling, right? And fatigue is exhaustion: spiritual exhaustion, emotional exhaustion, physical exhaustion. In clinical and therapy worlds, we call that burnout. So when we're burnt out, that's the exhaustion. So purpose fatigue is when we are emotionally exhausted, and we are continually striving to fulfill our calling or our purpose or our mission. 00:05:35:06 - 00:05:38:08 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Yeah, yeah. Can I throw a stat? 00:05:38:10 - 00:05:41:09 Rev. Trudy Please do. Yes. 00:05:41:10 - 00:05:42:10 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT I researched for this. 00:05:42:11 - 00:05:42:20 Rev. Trudy Yeah. 00:05:42:21 - 00:06:23:18 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Okay. So in 2024 there was either—and don't quote me on this source—it's either the World Health Organization or the American Psychological Association. They surveyed employees through various occupations, and they found that 40 to 52% self-reported that they were dissatisfied in their role because they were burnt out. And within those occupations, they also researched that certain occupations have higher levels of burnout than others. 00:06:23:19 - 00:06:24:09 Rev. Trudy Okay. 00:06:24:14 - 00:06:30:01 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT So health care workers think of the pandemic. 00:06:30:03 - 00:06:30:15 Rev. Trudy Yeah. 00:06:30:16 - 00:06:52:15 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Okay. So health care workers are feeling this purpose fatigue. There's clergy in there. And then there are caregivers of every sort. So not just professional caregivers, but caregivers of every sort. So that's purpose fatigue, right? 00:06:52:19 - 00:07:08:08 Rev. Trudy Yeah. And these are the kinds of professionals that we need as a society. They fulfill such an important purpose for everyone. And it's so sad to think that we don't honor that more. Is that the problem? 00:07:08:12 - 00:07:23:01 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT I think we honor it. I think it's the individuals in that role, and how they see themselves in that role. And this isn't to blame. 00:07:23:02 - 00:07:23:16 Rev. Trudy Right. 00:07:23:22 - 00:07:24:08 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Either. 00:07:24:09 - 00:07:24:19 Rev. Trudy Right. 00:07:24:20 - 00:07:33:09 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT This is to recognize how we can prevent and manage ourselves before we get to depletion. 00:07:33:10 - 00:07:57:20 Rev. Trudy That's really important to hear because it gives us something we could do. It might be easy. It might be hard. And we're going to talk more about that. But I love that. The stat that I'll throw out is that clergy rarely make it to seven years into the ministry. Usually at year seven, they're already burned out and ready to go. 00:07:57:20 - 00:08:02:16 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Oh, I should have done that on psychotherapists. 00:08:02:17 - 00:08:04:01 Rev. Trudy Oh, yeah. Yeah. 00:08:04:02 - 00:08:27:20 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Oh, yeah. But burnout is real. We talk about it heavily in our graduate programs: how to prevent getting burnt out. Yeah, just today I had a client, a new therapist in the program, and we were talking about this. We were talking about managing herself and putting strategies in place in order to not get burnt out. 00:08:27:21 - 00:08:47:03 Rev. Trudy Yeah. That's right. You know, I've been in ministry for 25 years, so I've figured something out. Yes, but boy, I can still relate to Elijah, right? I mean, he's done so much and it's still not enough. Right. 00:08:47:04 - 00:08:56:12 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT See, but where does that come from? That doesn't come from God. That's where it's on us to understand how to set up certain boundaries. Sorry, I didn't mean to. 00:08:56:13 - 00:09:09:13 Rev. Trudy No, no, you're absolutely right. One of the things I noticed about him is that he is kind of catastrophizing the whole scenario, right? He says, "I'm the only one left." That's not true. Yeah, that's not true. 00:09:09:14 - 00:09:37:04 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT And catastrophizing is like worst-case scenario thinking. Catastrophizing isn't really a rational train of thought. Catastrophizing is there when we're reaching burnout or we're already burnt out. Right. That's like doom and gloom is happening. We can't really see the good that's happening. It's all just worst-case scenario thinking, right? Same thing with totalizing thinking, which is all or nothing. 00:09:37:04 - 00:09:54:23 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT And that's irrational thinking, too. It's like black-and-white thinking. We don't live in the gray, and life is more in the gray. It's not all the way over here, all the way over here. So when we're at catastrophizing and totalizing thought, those are irrational thoughts. That's kind of a hint that we might be in burnout, right? 00:09:55:00 - 00:09:57:00 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Right. We might be in this purpose fatigue. 00:09:57:01 - 00:09:58:05 Rev. Trudy Yeah, yeah. 00:09:58:10 - 00:09:59:04 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT That's where he is. 00:09:59:05 - 00:10:26:21 Rev. Trudy Yeah, absolutely. That's where he is. Oh my gosh. I think the part that will get me still sometimes is wanting more change than what it is. Not that it has to all be finished, right, or not that we'll never get there. Whatever. But I mean, like with Elijah, he has done these prophetic voices for the community to come back to God. 00:10:26:22 - 00:10:48:00 Rev. Trudy He challenges the prophets of Jezebel, who worshiped a different God. They have this battle, you know, and then he ends up killing all of the prophets. Right. And then, you know, it's almost like he's surprised that Jezebel is mad at him. 00:10:48:01 - 00:11:10:22 Rev. Trudy Right. You kind of think he had this dream world where he said, if I just did this, everything's going to be just fine, right? But then there's Jezebel, and there's something else. And in the story, we can look at it and laugh. But I can also understand just the way in which you think: Am I making a difference? 00:11:11:00 - 00:11:22:03 Rev. Trudy Am I fulfilling the purpose? Am I doing the right things? Is it moving the needle at all? And those are conversations that I have frequently with my clergy colleagues. You know. 00:11:22:04 - 00:11:29:19 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT And I think that's important because you care. We fall into purpose fatigue because we care. 00:11:29:20 - 00:11:30:19 Rev. Trudy Yeah, yeah. 00:11:30:20 - 00:12:03:11 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT It's true. Extreme regard. It's not disregard. That would be a whole different conversation. A whole different problem is not caring enough, not having the motivation, not feeling inspired. But there's a lot of calling and feeling to be in this specific role, right? And so you care a lot. With that, though, there's this dance of: I care deeply, but is it all on me? 00:12:03:13 - 00:12:32:00 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT How much can I do? Versus is this more, you know, ego-centered? Is me walking in this kind of about just me and my personal fulfillment? Or am I kind of checking myself? And that's an internal reflection and above, right? We go to him and we also look inward: How should I walk this? 00:12:32:00 - 00:12:39:16 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT How much should I push? How much change should I see? Or should I be okay in the here and now? Should I ground myself in the present moment? 00:12:39:17 - 00:13:21:14 Rev. Trudy Right. Yeah. Oh, that's good advice. I've got so many things. I think about God's answer to Elijah. God tells Elijah that, okay, essentially go down and do three things. Anoint a new king, anoint the king of a northern kingdom. This is all about who's in charge, obviously. And the third thing is anoint Elisha as Elijah's replacement. 00:13:21:15 - 00:13:41:19 Rev. Trudy Right. He ends up only appointing Elisha. Elisha? He doesn't want to. Yeah. He just wants, "You do it all. You do these other things, you do that." But Elisha and Elijah—I always get them confused. I tried to preach a sermon on Elisha and Elijah, and it was miserable. 00:13:41:21 - 00:13:43:18 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT So, grace, those names are confusing, right? 00:13:43:19 - 00:13:56:04 Rev. Trudy Yeah. But God had Elisha there to do what's next while Elijah rested. 00:13:56:05 - 00:13:56:21 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Right. 00:13:56:22 - 00:14:04:04 Rev. Trudy So it doesn't have to be us. We don't have to do it all, right? In fact, it's not even supposed to be us who does it all, because we are not the Savior. 00:14:04:04 - 00:14:29:01 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT And that's part of what prevents—that's, in the clinical world, what we call protective measures, like protective factors, things that keep us from burning out. Things that allow us to have resilience in our role is that we understand when we need to tap out and when we need to ask for help, when we need to delegate. 00:14:29:03 - 00:14:49:07 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT So those things are very important. And if we're doing it all on our own, we have to check ourselves. Where's that coming from? Is that more of an ego-driven kind of approach? Even in leadership. And I think we talk about this a lot at the church. We talk about leadership and what does leadership look like? 00:14:49:11 - 00:15:14:15 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT And oftentimes, it isn't a one-person approach. It's a multifaceted, very collaborative approach. So that's part of this. That's probably the biggest part of this, helping us not burn out: knowing when we've reached our limit and relying on others around us, who God has positioned around us to help us on our mission. 00:15:14:17 - 00:15:24:09 Rev. Trudy So what are those protective measures? I mean, how do you get to the place where you can learn yourself so well? 00:15:24:11 - 00:15:30:06 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Yes. The protective measures are self-care practices. 00:15:30:07 - 00:15:31:06 Rev. Trudy Okay. 00:15:31:08 - 00:15:32:06 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Essentially. 00:15:32:09 - 00:15:35:13 Rev. Trudy That has to be a priority, clearly. Right? Priority? 00:15:35:14 - 00:15:35:22 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Yes. 00:15:36:00 - 00:15:39:07 Rev. Trudy You can't just say, maybe I'll get this done. 00:15:39:07 - 00:15:59:07 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Have to be a priority, and they have to be consistently practiced. Okay. So things like taking a break. They're simple things. They're not grand things. It's like, are we eating properly? Are we exercising regularly? Thirty minutes, the majority of days per week. Sometimes that's hard. 00:15:59:07 - 00:16:00:17 Rev. Trudy To do. Making me feel guilty. 00:16:00:18 - 00:16:02:20 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Yeah, you probably do this. 00:16:02:23 - 00:16:04:05 Rev. Trudy You probably do this. 00:16:04:07 - 00:16:26:01 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT And are we hydrating? Are we taking time and being in nature and grounding ourselves in nature? Are we enjoying time for leisure activities and hobbies? Are we socializing with people that really uplift us? But then also self-care is taking time for solitude as well. 00:16:26:03 - 00:16:26:13 Rev. Trudy Yeah. 00:16:26:14 - 00:16:56:00 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT So that's self-care. There's also the boundaries of, again, delegating and asking for help, which is a very vulnerable approach, but it's a very necessary approach. Yeah. We also have to be able to compartmentalize our role. So to be able to turn it on and off. So when I am in my role as a therapist, that doesn't mean it's good to still put on the therapist hat and come home. 00:16:56:00 - 00:16:59:22 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Right. Like, how annoying would that be for my kids and for my husband? 00:16:59:23 - 00:17:02:08 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT “What are you feeling right now?” 00:17:02:12 - 00:17:25:02 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT If I was just to psychoanalyze everybody or with my friends. I mean, I have a lot of therapist friends, so sometimes it is hard to kind of compartmentalize with that group and turn it off. We have to allow ourselves to step out of our role sometimes and be present for other roles that God has provided for us. So I'm not just a therapist, right? 00:17:25:05 - 00:17:38:14 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT I am a mother. Am I making time for that? I'm a daughter. I'm a wife. I'm a friend. And so am I making time for all of these other roles? If we're so headstrong in this one role... 00:17:38:16 - 00:17:39:03 Rev. Trudy Yeah. 00:17:39:04 - 00:17:45:18 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT That's a road to burnout. Yeah. And it's not honoring the other facets of how I've been created. 00:17:45:19 - 00:18:05:21 Rev. Trudy Yeah. That is such good wisdom. I'm going to try my best to take it. It's so strange coming here in San Diego right at the start of the pandemic, because I didn't have a friendship circle yet. I didn't have family in the area. And so I know I really created this horrible habit of doing a lot of work. 00:18:06:02 - 00:18:32:06 Rev. Trudy And oddly enough, I got my dog, Lucy. Many of you know Lucy. I miss her still, but I picked her up from the breeder the day after I returned from dropping off my last kid to college, because I knew I needed a reason to come home. Oh my gosh. So, yeah, I think that's something that I keep trying to pick up again. 00:18:32:07 - 00:18:36:21 Rev. Trudy Who am I outside of church? Yeah. 00:18:36:23 - 00:18:46:03 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Because then we're kind of idolizing that role. We like that role, and that becomes everything. And we want to see everything. And again, it's like we're putting on that badge. 00:18:46:04 - 00:18:55:14 Rev. Trudy Well, yeah. But it's a purpose we've been called to, and it can get big. It can get so much bigger. 00:18:55:19 - 00:19:08:14 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT I have something to say about that, too, of like a purpose we've been called to. And sometimes we're so in that role and we're so gung ho in that role that we don't recognize when we're actually being called somewhere else. 00:19:08:15 - 00:19:09:12 Rev. Trudy Oh, yeah. 00:19:09:13 - 00:19:32:15 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT And our mission has been kind of diverted somewhere else. And oftentimes when I work with clients, they're kind of feeling like there's this constant—they're hitting a wall with work, for my clients that are feeling this in their professional lives. And we start to evaluate: Hold on, where's the joy? You know, are there conflicts happening? What's happening? 00:19:32:16 - 00:19:44:14 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT And then they might uncover that actually, this isn't what I'm meant to do anymore. And so we have to listen to that, too, of like, God might put us somewhere, and then that doesn't mean forever. 00:19:44:15 - 00:19:45:07 Rev. Trudy That's right. 00:19:45:08 - 00:20:01:10 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT We think it might mean forever because people don't like change. We're creatures of habit. So we love to know what's coming. Even if it's mundane, even if it's monotonous and we don't have joy, at least it's something I'm used to. 00:20:01:11 - 00:20:01:18 Rev. Trudy Yeah. 00:20:01:18 - 00:20:14:13 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT It's true. And then we come up against this burnout or this feeling of like, I don't actually feel joy here. And we actually need to be open to the idea of maybe my purpose has shifted and changed. 00:20:14:14 - 00:20:30:14 Rev. Trudy Yeah, I have felt that in my career. So I think in my career, I've learned really early on that it was never going to be done. You know, I love a good list where you can check it all off and put it away, and then you can play, but it's never going to be done. So that was a really good learning for me. 00:20:30:16 - 00:20:41:06 Rev. Trudy And I also learned I love the church, but a mentor told me, "The church will not take care of you." 00:20:41:06 - 00:20:46:00 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT That's a hard reality for something you love so much. That's right. But we have to make peace. That's right. 00:20:46:01 - 00:21:06:04 Rev. Trudy Yeah. And so I had to look to take care of my own self. And you said something really, really important. And I think it comes back to Elijah's story. You have to look for the joy, right? You have to look for it. He's on this mountain and God sends... You know, I mean, he didn't bring provisions. 00:21:06:05 - 00:21:22:23 Rev. Trudy God had a tree grow up and feed him and take care of him. He had angels to nurture him. And God came and said, tell me about it, essentially. Right? And he just couldn't see it. 00:21:23:00 - 00:21:23:08 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Yeah. 00:21:23:12 - 00:21:24:20 Rev. Trudy He couldn't see it. 00:21:24:21 - 00:21:31:08 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT You're talking about one of the protective factors, okay. Which is gratitude practice. 00:21:31:09 - 00:21:32:03 Rev. Trudy Oh, yes. 00:21:32:04 - 00:21:57:08 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT And it is so essential in our overall mental health to have a gratitude practice, to be able to look for the good, even if it's such a subtle thing. Our work can be routine. We could be in a season with work where there's just so much hardship. And when I say work, it's also like people who are retirees and they're in a role or stay-at-home moms, right? 00:21:57:08 - 00:22:16:07 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT So they're in a season of hardship, and it could seem like this is never-ending. I'm so fatigued in my role here. And yet we have to take a step back and evaluate the path. And then we also have to take a step back and call out, what are the joys in today? What is the good? 00:22:16:08 - 00:22:41:00 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT What is the positive of me being here? And sometimes that's a lot easier to do than other days. When we are compromised, when we're in grief, when we're struggling, when we're tired and sleep deprived, it's hard to call out that joy. But we have to do it, or else everything could be catastrophizing. Everything is then all gray. 00:22:41:04 - 00:22:48:18 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT It could feel really, really difficult to feel like this role is meant for me and I'm in my purpose. Yeah. 00:22:48:20 - 00:23:03:00 Rev. Trudy I want to keep going. I want to just keep talking because this really is good information. And I know that it's going to help a lot of folks. The reminders are good for me, and I still haven't perfected any of it. 00:23:03:01 - 00:23:05:13 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Same here. This is a reminder for me too. 00:23:05:14 - 00:23:22:05 Rev. Trudy Yeah. And I think the techniques that maybe we use to kind of put the boundaries around, you know, the self-care that we need to protect—I think it changes through life stages, too. Is that true? 00:23:22:06 - 00:23:45:12 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT Yeah. It does. Something that worked in one season of our life—and again, we're creatures of habit. We don't like change. Why isn't this working now? Why isn't Pilates class working now? Or, you know, it could be anything. Gardening. Why isn't gardening working? Well, we have to adapt, and we have to change. We have to recognize this might not do what it had done for you before. 00:23:45:12 - 00:23:52:02 Sheilah Cameron, LMFT What it had done for you before. So be imaginative. Be creative in exploring self-care strategies. 00:23:52:03 - 00:24:14:23 Rev. Trudy Yeah, I noticed that on my vacation, that creativity is really important to me and to be inspired by others' creativity, and that is a lifeline. That's a lifeline. And I'm lucky that I get to sometimes use it in my purpose, too. But yeah. This is so great. Thank you so much. 00:24:15:00 - 00:24:38:08 Rev. Trudy We're going to keep talking in the weeks to come. And I know you have a lot more. I want to tell all of you who are listening: we've got an amazing counseling center over at the New Life Counseling Center, and she does a great job. And there are wonderful therapists. And if any of this feels more than you can handle and you would like some help, reach out to us in one way or another. 00:24:38:08 - 00:25:01:12 Rev. Trudy If you're on Patreon, send us a message. Find us at the church on our website. Get the help you need. We have some questions for you to be thinking about this, and so we'd love to hear your thoughts. And we encourage you to have conversations with other people as well. These are the questions. 00:25:01:14 - 00:25:35:19 Rev. Trudy Question number one: What is your purpose, and when do you feel fatigued in fulfilling it? Number two: How do you create boundaries between caring for your purpose and caring for yourself? Question number three: Do you know what it's like to not be able to see the good things because you are overwhelmed by the bad things? That's a conversation that I need to have with people. 00:25:35:21 - 00:25:50:17 Rev. Trudy Yeah. For sure. Thank you all for listening. I want to give a shout out to Nyla, our new Patreon member. So glad you're here, Nyla. Thank you so much. Join us on Patreon! It's fun. 00:25:50:19 - 00:26:13:05 Rev. Trudy I'm not going to get this right. Find it in the description. There you go. Anyway, thanks for joining us. We'll see you next time. This is a production of First United Methodist Church of San Diego. To learn more about our events and ministries and to access additional learning resources, visit fumcsd.org.