rockjay's on Teenwag.com

Nitrome - Play Free Online Games

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 10:36:55 GMT

love da flash games - joanna from london suggested

New Playboy Center Folder - 1953-2007 (NSFW)

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 01:19:24 GMT

The Heartbreak Kid

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 21:55:22 GMT

Official Movie Site

Ultimate Geek Racer Drives by Guts, Instinct — and Algorithms

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 03:31:50 GMT

Colin+Braun

Inside the cramped, seething belly of a 550-horsepower, $500,000 race car, Colin Braun hurtles around the Homestead-Miami Speedway at 177 miles per hour. As he bends the car into Turn One, the chassis shudders over a bump and the back end lurches sideways. In slower hands, this would be the prelude to a catastrophic wreck. But Braun, 18 years old and fearless, responds with a lightning application of opposite lock — what driving instructors call "steering into the skid" — and blithely carves through the corner.

On this sunny Friday morning, Braun is practicing for tomorrow's Grand-Am Grand Prix of Miami. As he roars around the track, electronic sensors embedded in his purpose-built Daytona Prototype monitor the car's behavior in minute detail: suspension travel, exhaust gas temperature, throttle position, wheel speed, and dozens of other variables. This information is radioed back to the pits, where race engineer David Brown squints at a dizzying array of numbers and graphs on his laptop. A serene and methodical wonk, Brown is charged with adjusting the car to optimize performance.

Accelerating out of a hairpin turn, Braun fishtails toward a daunting right-hand kink that can be taken — in a best-case scenario — flat out. But he feels the car losing traction. If he eases off the throttle, the lap will be ruined. If he turns the steering wheel too sharply, he'll spin. If he does nothing, he'll run out of track. Braun opts for plan D: He edges the car to the right a millimeter at a time. The left rear tire kicks up dust. It's just beginning to slide when the other tires suddenly grip the asphalt and launch the vehicle forward.

It's the kind of I-think-I'm-going-to-die moment that causes a driver's hair to stand on end, but when Braun keys his mic to speak with Brown, he sounds laconic, like a military test pilot. "There's a lack of front grip in the middle of the corner, and it doesn't put the power down very good," he says, flying out of the kink at 130 mph. "It feels like it could use a softer spring. Right now, it pushes too much in the middle, and I get snap oversteer at the exit."

Part athlete, part astronaut, Braun is at the forefront of a new generation of drivers who have internalized the mechanical subtleties of the gears, pistons, and tires they control. Once upon a time, racers drove by the seat of their pants. Quick reflexes, a well-balanced inner ear, and substantial cojones were the marks of a winner. But nowadays, the cars are so complicated that drivers need to know not merely how to push them to the limit but how to make adjustments to extend that limit. This means telling the race engineer — precisely, concisely, under pressure — how the car feels, so performance can be improved during practice or even in the middle of a race.

This is a language Braun has spoken since he was a tot. The son of a race engineer, he's the product of a uniquely comprehensive training regimen that began at age 6, when he started analyzing data logged by a unit his father installed on his kiddie car. He learned to commune with his vehicles during tens of thousands of laps on a test track on the family's property. And he has spent countless hours hunched over laptops, deconstructing multicolored graphs of racing data in an effort to "see" what his car is doing. "I look at squiggly lines and know what they mean," he says. "I don't remember learning it. It's something I've always understood."

For the past two years, Braun has been racing on the Grand-Am circuit, driving a sleek closed-wheel racer that's something of a cross between Nascar's beefier stock cars and the spindly exotics of Formula 1. In June 2006, as part of the team headed by billionaire oilman Tracy Krohn, he became the youngest driver ever to win a major pro race in North America. If age restrictions hadn't prevented him from competing in three events, he probably would have shared the Grand-Am Rolex Sports Car Series championship. "You could make a very good case for him being the next great American driver," says Ross Bentley, who runs an elite driver-coaching program. "As a package, he's the best I've ever seen at his age. Maybe the best I've seen at any age."

During practice at Homestead, Braun repeatedly shuttles in and out of the pits to have the car tuned. Although his time improves, he ends the session frustrated that he can't find the sweet spot in the car's handling — the golden compromise between responsiveness and speed. "The car is understeering like crazy," he complains when he climbs out of the cockpit. "We suck on the straightaway." There's a lot of work to be done before tomorrow's qualifying session.

Even with 12 years of high-speed competition under his belt, Braun is still a gangly beanpole who could pass for the treasurer of the high school chess club. Bounding into the portion of the team's big-rig that serves as an office, he flops into a chair in front of a counter holding four laptops that display data from the morning session.

"What do you see, Mr. Priestman?" he asks a compact man who's peering intently at the screens. An electrical engineer by training, Stephen Priestman is the racetrack equivalent of an IT manager. He holds a title that has become standard throughout the racing world: DAG, for data acquisition geek.

"Squiggly lines all over the place," Priestman jokes.

The screens show the five variables that offer the quickest overview of the car's performance: speed, rpm, throttle position, brake pressure, and gear. These channels are displayed lap by lap as lines on an X-Y graph: X is distance and Y is the variable in question.

Braun looks like a kid playing a videogame as he pulls up his fastest lap, then overlays the color-coded traces of other laps for comparison. He runs his cursor along the peaks and valleys to figure out where he gained and lost time. Analysis of a previous session's data suggested it might be faster to take the hairpins in second gear instead of first — but that hadn't helped. Neither did a shallower spoiler angle.

"With less spoiler, it came off the banking a little quicker," Brown murmurs, studying the data on another laptop. "But everywhere else, it made sod bit of difference."

"Sod?" Braun asks. He's a Texan; Brown is a transplanted Brit.

Introduced to the racing world 20 years ago, data acquisition systems are now commonplace. Amateur racers can pick up simple units for less than $1,000. At the other end of the spectrum, Formula One cars — beneficiaries of hundred-million-dollar budgets — are packed with enough electronics to launch a satellite. The MoTeC ADL2 data logger in Braun's car is the heart of a $60,000 system that captures the output of some four dozen sensors. In addition to transmitting vital statistics about how the car is handling, it can trip preset alarms to avert catastrophic mechanical failures. If oil pressure falls below a certain level, for instance, bold red lettering on the screen prompts the race engineer to tell the driver to kill the engine before it explodes.

Mostly, though, the data is used after the fact. As soon as a session ends, Priestman plugs his laptop into a 13-pin connector mounted on Braun's car and downloads the contents of the ADL2. The software formats this data into line graphs, or traces. By overlaying these traces, Braunn can see what effect each change had on the car. They also show him where he can find time on the track — say, by going 2 miles per hour faster through the kink or braking 10 feet later for Turn One.

Commercial data acquisition systems have revolutionized racing, but not in the way the industry expected. In the pre-data era, engineers relied on drivers for subjective impressions of how a car was handling. But drivers are athletes, not engineers, selected more for their motor skills than their technical acumen. Their feedback was often ambiguous, even inaccurate. Data acquisition promised a utopian world where race engineers would no longer have to kowtow to the prima donnas behind the wheel. Because data could tell them everything they needed to know, science would reign supreme and drivers would be reduced to the role of glorified chimps.

That didn't happen. Even as data logging lowered lap times across the board, race engineers discovered that data alone means nothing without a driver to put it in perspective. Viewed in a vacuum, it's easily misinterpreted. A classic example is readings that seem to show a car is "loose," meaning the tail tends to slide in corners. In fact, sometimes the car is actually "tight," losing traction in the front end, which forces the driver to turn the steering wheel more than he ought to, causing what appears to be loose behavior. The driver's input is crucial to diagnosing the condition. So instead of marginalizing the people behind the wheel, the data revolution made them even more important. But taking full advantage of data logging requires a different kind of driver — one who can correlate sensory impressions with the data pouring out of the vehicle and articulate this information in language his race engineer understands.

You can't learn this by reading textbooks, and it's not taught in racing schools. Braun got lucky: He had a private tutor every day of the year.

October 1994: Colin Braun is practicing for his first race at a small oval in Austin, Texas. Driving a pint-size car known as a quarter midget, the skinny 6-year-old isn't the fastest kid on the track. But he's got a secret weapon: His father, Jeff Braun, is a professional race engineer, and Jeff has installed a data acquisition unit in his son's vehicle. "You're lifting in the corners," Jeff tells him. "You have to be flat out all around the track."

"No no, Dad," Colin insists. "I'm mashing down that throttle all the way."

Braun senior doesn't buy it. He calls up the throttle trace. He wants to see a line that runs straight across the screen, showing that Colin was at full throttle for an entire lap. Instead, the trace shows a pair of valleys: Colin eased off before each of the two turns.

"The next session," Jeff tells him, "I want you to see if you can make that line completely straight."

Colin finished his first race in second place. Two races later, he notched his first win.

The Braun family lived near the tiny town of Ovalo, Texas — hundreds of miles from the nearest track. So Jeff built a go-kart course on his sprawling property. Watching from a scaffold and dispensing advice via two-way radio, he led Colin through Race Driving 101. He attended kart races, where Colin often competed in three or four separate classes with different karts, all bristling with data loggers. "Colin was the first kid I saw who really analyzed data," says Tony Coello, who ran one of the top shops at the time. "Most kids, if they opened a laptop, it was to play Pac-Man. Not Colin. He worked at it harder than any kid I've ever seen."

But even as Colin was learning to parse traces, Jeff was beginning to wonder how much they were worth. He'd honed his trade during the data acquisition revolution, but a decade of experience from Daytona to Le Mans had taught him that the technology had its limitations. "You can get lost in all the data," he explains. "It can send you in the wrong direction. At the track, there's so much information to sift through that you need the driver to focus his engineer on what he wants changed. The more the driver can tell me, the more I can improve the car."

So Jeff taught Colin not only how to read data but also how to correlate the traces with what he felt in the driver's seat. He showed his son shock absorber profiles in the pits, then sent him out to see how different settings actually behaved. They spent an entire day isolating the effect that suspension adjustments had on the rear roll center. They practiced racing on worn tires, on overinflated tires, on underinflated tires.

By the time he was 14, Colin had spent more time analyzing vehicle dynamics than most drivers twice his age. When he entered his first real car race, he dominated the qualifying rounds and ultimately took the checkered flag on race day, becoming the youngest driver to win a professional formula car race in North America. By 17, he was a full-time pro. Now he's poised to become a star.

Braun is upbeat as qualifying begins for the Grand Prix of Miami. But as soon as he gets up to speed, he finds that the morning's adjustments haven't helped. He ends up placing a discouraging fourth.

Afterward, the mood inside the big-rig is gloomy. Brown and 37-year-old codriver Max Papis are furiously paging through screen after screen of data when Braun walks in. "There's no power-down traction," he announces. "It's like driving in the rain."

"I'm a little confused about what we need to fix," Brown says.

"We absolutely need more rear grip," Braun insists.

The room goes silent. The car has undergone hundreds of changes before, during, and after the four previous sessions. And yet, Braun insists, the handling is still way off.

"Have you ever had a car handle like this before?" Brown asks. "No," Braun answers. "If this is good, and this is bad" — the teenager holds his hands shoulder-width apart — "then we're over here," he says, twisting around to reach behind his body.

Brown adjusts the differential at Braun's insistence, but the car is no better during a brief warm-up on Saturday morning. Brown continues to tweak, even though there's no time to test the changes.

On Saturday afternoon, Braun is back behind the wheel for the race itself. It's a timed event, two and a half hours long. Braun will drive first, with Papis taking over halfway through. The start is promising. "The car's not too bad," Braun radios. "I'm just saving fuel and tires."

Braun is renowned for his unflappable demeanor, but on lap 10 he unleashes a high-pitched complaint against another driver: "Long hit me big-time! He just turned in on me!" The broadcast replay on the pit TV screen shows Patrick Long's car spinning out after colliding with Braun's car. Braun insists Long was at fault. Officials disagree and nail Braun with a penalty, forcing him to drive through the pit lane at reduced speed. By the time he returns to the track, he's in 16th place.

"Let's keep our heads down and do what we can," Brown says. "Copy that," Braun replies, once again all business.

Braun patiently picks off slower cars and climbs back up to third, but not before having a second run-in with Long, a third with a different driver, and a fourth with yet another. The team loses more time while he and Papis trade places. When Braun pulls off his helmet, his face is flushed. He marches through the pits to confront one of the drivers who hit him. Fortunately, his nemesis has already returned to the track.

An hour later, the team finishes in eighth place. But there will be other races for Colin Braun. In June, he stepped up to motor sports' major league, signing with a premier Nascar team, Roush Fenway Racing, a perennial contender in the prestigious Nextel Cup series. Nascar is the only major racing organization that prohibits data acquisition during race weekends — but that could be an advantage for Braun. While other drivers might miss the digital connection to their cars, he has learned much of what data logging can teach him — he trusts his own gut more than any digital readout. "I know what I feel," he says. "If that doesn't agree with the data, I don't care what the data says."

Anyway, there's no hurry. He still has plenty of time to become the youngest winner in Nextel Cup history.

Harry Potter Star Reveals All- NAKED on STAGE

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 16:45:30 GMT

Daniel Radcliffe (aka Harry Potter) cavorts naked for a full 10 minutes and simulates sex while riding a "horse" played by a male ballet dancer. The play is being shown at the Gielgud Theatre in London, England, and it is called EQUUS. The starring role goes to Harry Potter (now known as hairy potter) star, Daniel Radcliffe and also features Richard griffiths, Joanna Christie and Jenny Agutter.

Equus is a very deep and disturbing story about a 17 year old highly lonely teenager who adores horses. He believes that horses are gods. This obsession strengthens when he gets a job as a stable boy. The play is very powerful and the cast are really excellent. Joanna Christie is definitely a star in the making. My favorite part was the troupe of six actors who bring the horses to life ... they are fantastic. They don hooves and metal masks and make the play theirs....well, almost. Daniel then spends a full 10 minutes cavorting around the stage completly naked and simulates sex while riding a "horse" played by a male ballet dancer.

Executives from Warner Brothers who make the Harry Potter films were reportedly "utterly dismayed" about the sexual and steamy scenes that Daniel plays however in a statement Warner Brothers have said that they "fully support him in the artistic choices he makes as an actor". However, some parents are completely outraged that Harry Potter is naked and smokes cigarettes on stage...definitely not a childrens play then.

While watching Daniel performing in Equus at no time did I think "OH, Harry Potter naked". This actor has really shown his true talents (this is not about his bits that hang out) and plays a complex and award winning role. Whilst Daniel does have his bits out it is not the main focus of the play...did I mention that Joanna is also starkers for about seven minutes...ahem!. This play is excellent and there is absolutely nothing crude about it. The cast are excellent and Daniel took on the part which makes him, in my eyes, a real actor now. So, if you happen to be in London over the next month make sure to get a ticket for the hottest play in town. Ok, you will see a bit of nudity however this is a play that is deep, complex and highly charged. It will definitely show you that Harry Potter is ready to move on to become a serious actor. Highly recommended.

EQUUS the play harry potter Daniel Radcliffe (aka Harry Potter) cavorts naked for a full 10 minutes and simulates sex while riding a "horse" played by a male ballet dancer.

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 16:44:56 GMT

Daniel Radcliffe (aka Harry Potter) cavorts naked for a full 10 minutes and simulates sex while riding a "horse" played by a male ballet dancer.

Mononucleosis

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 02:57:14 GMT

When Ashley came home with a headache and body aches and pains, she thought she had caught the flu. But by the next morning, Ashley's temperature had soared to 103° F (39° C) and her throat felt like she'd swallowed hot coals. Even worse, she was so tired she could hardly lift her head off the pillow. Ashley had never felt this bad with any cold or flu.

Ashley's mom took her to the doctor, where a physical examination and a blood test revealed that Ashley had mononucleosis.

What Is Mono?

Infectious mononucleosis (pronounced: mah-no-noo-klee-oh-sus), sometimes called "mono" or "the kissing disease," is an infection usually caused by the Epstein-Barr virus (EBV). EBV is very common, and many people have been exposed to the virus at some time in childhood.

Not everyone who is exposed to EBV develops the symptoms of mono, though. As with many viruses, it is possible to be exposed to and infected with EBV without becoming sick.

People who have been infected with EBV will carry the virus for the rest of their lives — even if they never have any signs or symptoms of mono. People who do show symptoms of having mono probably will not get sick or have symptoms again.

Although EBV is the most common cause of mono, other viruses, such as cytomegalovirus (pronounced: sye-toe-meh-guh-low-vye-rus), can cause a similar illness. Like EBV, cytomegalovirus stays in the body for life and may not cause any symptoms.

People often kid around about mono, but as Ashley discovered, it's no joke. A case of mono can keep you out of commission for weeks.
How Do People Get Mono?

One common way to "catch" mono is by kissing someone who has been infected, which is how the illness got its "kissing disease" nickname. If you have never been infected with EBV, kissing someone who is infected can put you at risk for getting the disease.

But what if you haven't kissed anyone? You can also get mononucleosis through other types of direct contact with saliva (spit) from someone infected with EBV, such as by sharing a straw, a toothbrush, or an eating utensil.

Some people who have the virus in their bodies never have any symptoms, but it is still possible for them to pass it to others. Experts believe that EBV can even spread from people who had the virus months before.
How Do I Know if I Have It?

Symptoms usually begin to appear 4 to 7 weeks after infection with the virus. Signs that you may have mono include:

* constant fatigue
* fever
* sore throat
* loss of appetite
* swollen lymph nodes (commonly called glands, located in your neck, underarms, and groin)
* headaches
* sore muscles
* larger-than-normal liver or spleen
* skin rash
* abdominal pain

People who have mono may have different combinations of these symptoms, and some may have symptoms so mild that they hardly notice them. Others may have no symptoms at all.

Even if you have several of these symptoms, don't try to diagnose yourself. Always consult your doctor if you have a fever, sore throat, and swollen glands or are unusually tired for no apparent reason.

Because the symptoms of mono are so general and can be signs of other illnesses, it's possible to mistake mononucleosis for the flu, strep throat, or other diseases. In fact, occasionally some people may have mono and strep throat at the same time.

When making a diagnosis, the doctor may want to take some blood tests to see if mono is causing the symptoms. But even if the blood tests indicate mono, there isn't much the doctor can do other than advise a person to drink lots of fluids and get plenty of rest.
How Can I Get Better?

There is no cure for mononucleosis. But the good news is that even if you do nothing, the illness will go away by itself, usually in 3 to 4 weeks. Because mono is caused by a virus, antibiotics such as penicillin won't help unless you have an additional infection like strep throat. In fact, certain antibiotics can even cause a rash if you take them while you have mono.

Although there's no magic pill for mono, you can do some things to feel better. The best treatment is to get plenty of rest, especially during the beginning stages of the illness when your symptoms are the worst. Put yourself to bed and pass on school, sports, and other activities.

For the fever and aching muscles, try taking acetaminophen or ibuprofen. Steer clear of aspirin unless your doctor tells you to take it: Aspirin has been linked to a serious disease in kids and teens called Reye syndrome, which can lead to liver failure and death.

If you have a sore throat, chew gum, drink tea with honey, or suck on hard candy or ice pops. Even if you're not hungry, try to eat a well-balanced diet and drink lots of water and juices to prevent dehydration. You can get some nutrition and soothe your throat with cold fruit smoothies or low-fat shakes.

When you start feeling better, take it slow. Although you can return to school once your fever disappears, you may still feel tired. Your body will tell you when it's time to rest — listen to it. By taking good care of yourself and resting as much as you need to, you will soon be back to normal, usually within a few weeks.

Doctors also recommend avoiding sports for at least a month after the illness because the spleen (an organ in the body that sits under the left rib cage) is often enlarged temporarily while you are ill. An enlarged spleen can rupture easily, causing internal bleeding and abdominal pain and requiring emergency surgery. Do not participate in contact sports, cheerleading, or even wrestling with your little siblings or your friends until your doctor gives you permission.

As you recover, make sure you don't share the virus with your friends and family. Chances are they will not get the disease from casual contact with you, but you can take a few steps to help them stay germ free. Wash your hands often, cover your nose and mouth when you sneeze or cough, and keep your drinks and eating utensils to yourself. This is one time when your friends and family will thank you for being selfish.

Two and a Half Men on CBS

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 01:42:00 GMT

Charlie Sheen, who has starred in over 40 feature films, catapulted to fame in "Platoon" and "Wall Street." His other feature film credits include "Red Dawn," "Lucas," "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," "Eight Men Out," "Young Guns," "Major League," "Hot Shots!," "Hot Shots! Part Deux," "The Three Musketeers," "The Chase," "Money Talks," "Being John Malkovich," "Scary Movie 3," "Scary Movie 4" and "The Big Bounce." He also appeared in the television movies "Rated X" and "Good Advice."

Sheen became known to television audiences through his Golden Globe Award-winning lead role in "Spin City." He was nominated in 2005 and 2006 for a Golden Globe for his role as Charlie Harper and was recently nominated for an Emmy Award for Outstanding Actor in a Comedy Series for this role.

Born in New York, Sheen currently lives in Los Angeles. He is the father of three daughters--Cassandra, Sam and Lola. His birth date is September 3.

What is stucco

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 00:19:06 GMT

Traditional stucco is a cement mixture used for siding, usually on Mission or other Spanish style homes. The cement is combined with water and inert materials such as sand and lime. Usually, wooden walls are covered with tar paper and chicken wire or galvanized metal screening. This framework is then covered with the stucco mixture. Sometimes, the cement mix is applied directly to specially prepared masonry surfaces.

This Spanish style home in Miami Springs, Florida has stucco siding. The homeowner, Kim, sent this photo for our Mystery House series, where you can see more views of the house.

Although stucco-sided homes became popular in twentieth century America, the concept of using cement mixtures in architecture goes back to ancient times. Wall frescoes by ancient Greeks and Romans were painted on fine-grained hard plaster surfaces made of gypsum, marble dust and glue.

Stucco techniques were elaborated by the Italians during the Renaissance and spread through Europe. This marble dust compound could be molded into decorative shapes, polished to a sheen or painted.

Many homes built after the 1950s use a variety of synthetic materials which resemble stucco. Mock stucco siding is often composed of foam insulation board or cement panels secured to the walls. Although synthetic stucco may look authentic, real stucco tends to be heavier. Walls made of genuine stucco sound solid when tapped and will be less likely to suffer damage from a hard blow. Also, genuine stucco holds up well in wet conditions. Although it is porous and will absorb moisture, it will dry easily, without damage to the structure.

One type of sythetic stucco, known as EIFS (Exterior Insulation and Finish Systems), has been associated with moisure problems. The underlying wood on EIFS sided homes may suffer rot damage. However, other types of synthetic stucco are quite durable. It's always a wise to have a professional inspection before purchasing a stucco-sided home.

Thrown off plane for too-skimpy outfit

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 23:43:58 GMT

It doesn’t take much to get thrown off an airplane these days, as Kyla Ebbert found out when a Southwest Airlines employee told her she was too bare for the air. Two months later, she’s still trying to figure out what was wrong with her outfit.

In an exclusive appearance Friday on TODAY, Ebbert modeled the outfit she says she wore on the flight in question. It consisted of a snug-fitting white top with a scoop neck that stopped just short of showing cleavage.

Over the shirt was a green sweater that buttoned underneath her bosom. It was finished with high-heeled sandals and a white denim mini-skirt with a fashionably frayed hem.
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It was a lot more clothing than the 23-year-old college student wears on her job as a Hooters waitress. Her mother, Michele Ebbert, said she would have told her daughter if the outfit was inappropriate.

“But her outfit is fine, Michele Ebbert told TODAY co-host Matt Lauer. “She looks like every other college girl in San Diego.”

Not according to a Southwest employee identified only as “Keith,” who approached Ebbert after she had taken her seat on the plane and was listening to the flight attendants go through their pre-departure routine.

He asked her to step off of the plane and when they were in the jetway, he told her that her clothing was inappropriate and asked her to change her clothes.

“He told me, ‘I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to take a later flight. You’re dressed inappropriately. This is a family airline. You’re dressed too provocative to fly on this flight,’ ” she told Lauer.

Today show
Kyla Ebbert models the outfit she wore on the Southwest flight Friday on TODAY.
“I said, ‘What part of it, the shirt, the skirt? Which part?’ “ Ebbert continued, recounting her conversation with Keith about her outfit. “And he said, ‘The whole thing.’“ I said, ‘I didn’t bring any luggage with me. I don’t have anything to change into. What can I do to make sure I can get onto that flight?’ I had a doctor’s appointment. I had to be there.”

“He said ‘You can go to the gift shop and you can buy something to wear there. Until then, you’re not flying on this flight,’ ” Ebbert said.

A compromise was finally reached when Ebbert promised to pull up her top, which wasn’t showing cleavage to begin with, and pull down her tiny skirt.

Ebbert went back onto the plane and to her seat, feeling that every eye on the plane was staring at her.

“I was humiliated. I was embarrassed. They all heard him lecturing me,” she said.

She asked for a blanket, covered her legs, and cried quietly all the way to Tucson. When she got off the plane, she called her mother.

“She was just devastated,” Michele told Lauer. “She said, ‘Mom, I can’t believe what just happened to me.’ She was. She said ‘I didn’t want to make a scene. I didn’t want to draw attention. I just sat there crying.’ ”

No apology
When Michele saw a picture her daughter emailed from her cell phone, she couldn’t believe what had happened. She also thought to herself, “Oh, no. They don’t do this and get away with it.”

The San Diego Union-Tribune called Southwest Airlines and asked if the airline had a dress code. Could, for example, a woman board wearing a bikini top?

The newspaper on Tuesday quoted the Southwest agent it spoke with as saying, “We don't have a problem with it if she's covered up in all the right spots. We don't have a dress code.”

The Ebberts had not gone public with the story, which happened two months ago, asking only for an apology from the airline. But none was forthcoming.

In response to a TODAY Show query, the airline sent the following statement: "Southwest Airlines was responding to a concern about Ms. Ebbert's revealing attire on the flight that day. As a compromise, we asked her to adjust her clothing to be less revealing, she complied, and she traveled as scheduled. When a concern is brought to our Employees' attention, we address that situation directly with the Customer(s) involved in a discreet and professional manner. Fortunately, as an airline that carries approximately 96 million Customers a year, these situations are extremely rare."

The Ebberts have engaged an attorney, Martin Reed, to help them decide what to do next.

Asked if he will file suit, Reed told Lauer, “We’ve not made that decision, yet. We’re considering all the facts and all the circumstances.”

“Initially, I just wanted an apology,” Kyla told Lauer. “At this point, just some acknowledgement that they were wrong. That would be better.”

What really tops the whole story off is that Ebbert wore the same outfit on the return flight to San Diego later that day. A female flight attendant also took note of it, according to Ebbert.

“I was complimented by the stewardess on my return flight,” she said.

"The Brothers Solomon" turns "not much" into "pretty darn funny"

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 10:29:13 GMT

If "The Brothers Solomon" had been conceived not as a movie but as some form of television entertainment, it would most likely work as a recurring sketch on NBC's "Saturday Night Live."

In fact, the slight but funny film — about a pair of maladroit brothers who "don't get the dating scene" — was written by one of "SNL's" more recent stars, Will Forte, and is directed by Bob Odenkirk, a former "SNL" writer who went on to fame in the HBO sketch-comedy series "Mr. Show with Bob and David."

On TV, Forte specializes in the kind of social mutant he developed and plays in the film, a well-meaning weirdo named Dean Solomon. Unnervingly close to his equally clueless brother, John (Will Arnett of "Arrested Development"), Dean's notion of dating a woman includes kissing her father and complimenting her for being overweight.

The more aggressive John resorts to paying for a wary prospect's groceries and inviting a comely but appalled neighbor to enjoy a picnic-style dinner on the floor of a hallway. The problem is that these siblings, who were raised in the isolation of the North Pole, are so attached to one another that they don't know anything about the opposite sex.

That changes a bit when they decide to provide a grandchild to their comatose father (Lee Majors) and hire Janine ("SNL's" superb Kristen Wiig) to be artificially inseminated. Janine's medical and financial needs during her pregnancy provide the boys with some much-needed structure. She also encourages the impressionable Solomons to take pending fatherhood seriously.

They take that advice to heart by practicing such challenges as catching a falling infant (not a real one!) from a tall building.

As with "Hot Rod," a comedy built around Forte's "SNL" co-star Andy Samberg, "The Brothers Solomon" is vaguely anchored by a semblance of structure and character development while also exercising anarchic, comic freedom.

Like the Samberg movie, "Solomon" works in its way because a very good cast can turn the film's most extreme moments — such as a makeover of the brothers' apartment into a hospital room for Dad — into comic opportunities. It helps having a very funny Chi McBride on board as Janine's foul-mouthed boyfriend, and several memorable supporting characters who nail some of Forte's most outrageous ideas.

Odenkirk keeps the absurdity both contained and free-flowing, and briefly turns up on screen as an adoption specialist who throws John and Dean out of his office. The scene is one of many that shows how talented everyone involved is.

Eastern, Western The Current Cinema The Nanny Diaries 310 to Yuma

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 02:00:50 GMT

In the 2002 best-seller “The Nanny Diaries,” the N.Y.U. graduates Nicola Kraus and Emma McLaughlin, who had spent some time taking care of children on the Upper East Side, pooled their anecdotes, merged into a single voice, and compiled a fiction about a young nanny’s suffering at the hands of a tyrannical Park Avenue couple. The book was both a cry of exasperation and an attack on the fatuity of wealth. Near the beginning, the heroine walks into a room and encounters what she calls “the full range of Upper East Side diversity—half the women are dressed in Chanel suits and Manolo Blahniks, half are in six-hundred-dollar barn jackets, looking as if they might be asked to pitch an Aquascutum tent at any moment.” This is clever, I suppose, yet the list of boutique products suggests that the heroine has pretty much the same values as the women she’s teasing, without having anything like their money. Parts of “The Nanny Diaries” read like a peculiarly self-pitying and envious piece of magazine journalism in which the upscale knowingness of the victim serves only to fuel her outrage over how badly she’s being treated. The book, more snark than satire, provides eager glimpses of emotional squalor and lousy parenting among the super-rich; it seems to be written for people who want to feel superior to the swells whose goods they in fact covet.

The talented writer-director team of Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini (“American Splendor”), who did the movie adaptation, obviously realized that they had to change the disingenuous point of view. They have turned the nanny—or, as she’s called by her boss, “Nanny” (Scarlett Johansson)—into a New Jersey girl whose mother is a hardworking nurse. She is now a genuine outsider. And they’ve created a sprightly new voice for her. She studied anthropology in college, and she narrates a mock field report in which she examines, among other exotic creatures and tribes, a specimen known as Upper East Side Natives. We see these strange people at the Museum of Natural History, standing behind glass, in a diorama. Blond, stiff, and lean, they appear to be yearning for some ideal Nantucket of the mind. Propelled by such debonair flourishes, the movie takes off nicely. The enormous East Side apartment in which Nanny works has a slightly exaggerated gleam, as if the glass and porcelain had been created in a diamond mine. The adulterous dad, known only as Mr. X (Paul Giamatti), may be a caricature of boredom and moneyed contempt, but, as Mrs. X, Laura Linney finds something both scary and touching in the situation of a woman frightened of her own needy little boy and desperate to please her vile husband. We wait for some sort of commanding narrative to take hold.

Alas, none does. “The Nanny Diaries,” despite many bright moments and a superior level of craftsmanship, is now a flabby urban fairy tale. Nanny is treated like an indentured servant by Mrs. X, and when a handsome young man in the building—Harvard Hottie (Chris Evans), he’s called—advises her to quit her job, and she doesn’t, the movie’s senselessness becomes obvious. She tells Harvard Hottie that she has fallen in love with the family’s little boy, Grayer (Nicholas Reese Art), who needs her. But Nicholas Reese Art, a towhead with leather lungs and a face like a closed fist, is not a likable child—he has no personality at all—and Scarlett Johansson, trying to give the material a plausible emotional center, looks merely confused. At some level, Pulcini and Springer Berman must know that a white, college-educated nanny with many career opportunities is not a character who can legitimately generate much pathos, because suddenly, out of nowhere, they throw in a scene in which an African and two Latino nannies turn to the camera and complain (rightly) that they are trapped in their jobs. Nanny is trapped only by the falsity of the plot. The material has been turned into a trivially narcissistic product for teen-age girls who want to feel indignant about wrongs they are unlikely to suffer. Mrs. X, a kind of wicked stepmother, won’t let Nanny see her young man. But Harvard Hottie, a prince in a college workout shirt, outsmarts the boss. He pursues Nanny anyway and won’t take no for an answer.

At the bloody end of “3:10 to Yuma,” virtually all the surviving characters, not to mention a variety of strangers, get shot at point-blank range. It’s almost as if the stage were being cleared for some subsequent installment of what we’ve just been watching—the eternal conflict of good and evil in the Old West. There haven’t been many big-screen Westerns recently, but the form has lost none of its slightly absurd solemnity. It hasn’t lost its physical beauty, either, or its fervent seriousness about honor and courage. “3:10 to Yuma” is a remake of a 1957 Western directed by Delmer Daves, and this version—directed by James Mangold and written by Michael Brandt and Derek Haas, who amplified Elmore Leonard’s 1953 story and Halsted Welles’s script for the original—is faster, more cynical, and more brutal than the first. The setting is the Arizona territory after the Civil War, a wilderness with towns so ragged and insubstantial that they seem merely scratched onto the surface of the desert. Vengeful Apaches keep travellers awake at night, and Chinese coolies, working for the Southern Pacific Railroad, lay track across the mountains. Nothing resembling a social structure exists; individual character, for good or for ill, is all there is. In minor roles, the actors loom up at a saloon window or sit heavily on horseback, and each anonymous face, carved by terrible food, rotten liquor, and bad sex, makes an overwhelming impression of loneliness and discomfort. Peter Fonda, who is always described by publicists as an “icon,” shows up as a corrupt and violent bounty hunter—a thug with authority—and gives an amazingly fierce performance. In this movie, Fonda really is iconic. “3:10 to Yuma” may be familiar, but, at its best, it has a rapt quality, even an aura of wonder.

The hero, Dan Evans (Christian Bale), is a Civil War veteran with a stump for a foot; he has come out from Massachusetts with his family, and holds a few acres of parched ground, but he finds himself stranded in a moral wasteland. His barn gets burned down by a powerful man who wants him to clear off, and, in the hills near his property, he runs into the notorious outlaw and murderer Ben Wade (Russell Crowe). When they meet again in town, in a dark saloon, a bizarre thing happens: Wade finds the virtuous Dan so interesting that he lets his guard down. Pinkertons working for the railroad enter the building and capture him, and Dan, dead broke, becomes part of a group being paid good money to convey the famous killer across the desert and deposit him in a train heading for prison. During the journey, Wade murders two of his captors, and he makes a prolonged attempt to reason or bully Dan into letting him go. The stolid rancher has a moral core that provokes him—he can’t fathom it and wants to destroy it.

Most of this might have been little more than a heavyweight conceit were it not for Russell Crowe. Within minutes of his first appearance, he convinces you that Ben Wade is the most intelligent man in the territory. Wade is accompanied by a band of killers, including a dandified acolyte in buckskins (the gifted Ben Foster) who is fanatically loyal to him, and Crowe separates himself from Foster and the other actors, creating a quiet private space in which he can play. This cultivated gangster likes to observe other people; he draws pictures of anyone who interests him and quotes Biblical verse—he’s an aesthete and an ironist—and Crowe, dominating every situation with a violent lunge or a vicious remark, gives a fascinating, self-amused performance (I was reminded of Marlon Brando at his most perverse). Crowe is an acting genius, and the filmmakers build him up—they create a chaotic milieu in which Wade’s nihilism comes off as a particularly nasty form of survivor’s wisdom. In the Arizona territory, there’s no law to speak of; the Southern Pacific corrupts everyone, buying whatever “justice” it needs to conduct its business. Dan turns out to be the only one foolish enough to finish the job and bring the bad guy to prison. His defense of a civilization that doesn’t yet exist is an expression of personal honor, and it’s so ornery and irrational that it moves even Ben Wade.

James Mangold’s movies include “Cop Land” (1997), “Girl, Interrupted” (1999), and “Walk the Line” (2005), and this is by far his most sustained and evocative work. A scene in which Wade’s gang robs a stagecoach has a convulsive violence that makes it one of the best versions of this generic episode ever filmed. Mangold draws out the tensions between the actors—between Crowe and Fonda, for instance—and when the violence explodes it’s startling. There are a few choppy moments—an Indian attack at night is more suggested than staged—and I wish Mangold had resisted digital enhancement in a scene in which Wade and Dan blow up a railway tunnel (the moment looks fake). But much of this Western is tense and intricately wrought, and I found myself settling into its stern logic and its physical splendor with a grateful sigh. The old rituals are so far removed from our glib media world that they seem as solid as the hills and boulders of Arizona itself. ♦

L.A. Ink : TLC

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 17:34:37 GMT

I watch this show sometimes

Wii outsells PS3 in Japan in July

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 00:03:42 GMT

Nintendo's Wii game console outsold Sony's PlayStation 3 by the ratio of more than 4-1 in Japan in July, game magazine publisher Enterbrain said on Friday.

Nintendo sold 396,752 units of the Wii in the five weeks ended July 29, compared with 91,987 units of the PS3.

Exclusive: Finished ‘Potter’? Rowling tells what happens next - Wild about Harry

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 17:55:54 GMT

Spoiler alert: This story reveals some key plot points in the final Harry Potter book. So if you've haven't finished the book, J.K. Rowling asks that you not read this story.

If you found the epilogue of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” rather vague, then J.K. Rowling achieved her goal.

The author was shooting for “nebulous,” something “poetic.” She wanted the readers to feel as if they were looking at Platform 9¾ through the mist, unable to make out exactly who was there and who was not.

“I do, of course, have that information for you, should you require it,” she told TODAY’s Meredith Vieira rather coyly in her first interview since fans got their hands on the final book.
Ummm … yes, please!

Ajax Web Developer: $240k per year… with only one catch

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 10:10:21 GMT

* Title: Web Developer
* Salary: $200K plus DOE
* Taxes: No Federal taxes taken out for the contractors that accept a 12 month. (6 month contractors will have taxes taken out)
* Location: Iraq
* Start date: ASAP with 2 weeks training (one in Washington DC and another in Ft. Bening GA)
* # of Openings: 1

Summary:A principal Department of Defense agency is looking for programmers, developers or coders to code, support field deployment and maintenance of a new database application which will be used by Army units in Iraq. Scope These are full-time positions (12/7) located at one of the major US Bases in IRAQ. Deployment will be period of 6-12 months. Training on the application software will begin prior to deployment and will take place in Virginia. These positions are available for full time employment or for independent contractors. These positions are available now.

India Names First Female President

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 14:48:36 GMT

India elected Pratibha Patil as the country's first female president Saturday in a vote seen as a victory for the hundreds of millions of Indian women who contend with widespread discrimination.

Patil received 65.82 percent of the votes cast by national lawmakers and state legislators, said Election Commission head P.D.T. Achary. She had been widely expected to win.

Patil, the 72-year-old candidate of the governing Congress party and its political allies, defeated incumbent Vice President Bhairon Singh Shekhawat, the candidate of the opposition Bharatiya Janata Party.

"I am grateful to the people of India, to all the men and women of India," Patil said in a brief statement to reporters. "This is a victory of the principles of which our Indian people uphold," she said flashing the victory sign to her supporters.

Her candidacy was dogged by unprecedented mudslinging from the moment it was agreed upon by coalition members, marring the usually genteel process of presidential elections.

Hundreds of delighted Congress supporters danced in the streets as the results were announced, banging drums and setting off firecrackers outside her home in New Delhi and in her hometown in the state of Maharashtra.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi—the head of the Congress party—were among the first to visit her home to congratulate her. She will be sworn in for a five-year term as India's 13th president on July 25.

The election of a woman to the largely ceremonial post continues an Indian tradition using the presidency to bolster disadvantaged communities.

Hindu-majority India has had three Muslim presidents, including incumbent A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, since winning independence from Britain in 1947. It has also had a president from the minority Sikh community, and Kalam's predecessor, K. R. Narayanan, came from the bottom of the society's complex social hierarchy.

While India has had several women in positions of power—most notably Indira Gandhi, who was elected to the more powerful position of prime minister in 1966, and her daughter-in-law, Sonia Gandhi_ many women still face rampant discrimination.

Many Indian families regard daughters as a liability due to a tradition requiring a bride's family to pay a groom's family a large dowry of cash and gifts. As a consequence their education is often neglected, and many don't get adequate medical treatment when ill.

International groups estimate that some 10 million female fetuses have been aborted in the country over the last two decades.

It was not clear how much impact Patil will have as president.

Opponents derided her nomination, saying she lacked the national stature for the job and her only qualification was her unswerving loyalty to the powerful Gandhi family.

Her emergence onto the national stage also highlighted several scandals involving family members, two of who are under investigation by police.

And her comments ahead of the election calling on Indian women to abandon wearing headscarves was roundly denounced by Muslim leaders and by historians—who disputed her assertion that women only started wearing them in India to save themselves from 16th century Muslim invaders.

The nomination of Patil also surprised many, given her lack of national recognition despite more than four decades in politics.

Patil was a lawyer before she joined politics and became a member of the state legislature in 1962. She was appointed a minister several times in the Maharashtra state government between 1962 and 1985. In the following decade, she served as a member of Indian Parliament.

Her most recent post was as governor of the northern state of Rajasthan.

A Little Ditty About Josh and Diane

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 23:01:35 GMT

Josh and Diane (which, I know, is pronounced "Dionne") are too cute -- I just love them together. Diane, who usually looks absolutely stunning, seemed a little tired (or tipsy) leaving Cipriani in London with Josh over the weekend. They were out to celebrate her 31st birthday on the 15th. Happy Birthday, Diane-Dionne! He, on the other hand, is looking better than ever. Pacey Whitter is all grown up.

Kate Walsh Channels The Pink Panther

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 23:01:08 GMT

Kate Walsh went for the super girlie bubblegum look this weekend, from head to toe. Obviously we love pink, but this is overkill. Kate is enjoying what's left of the summer before she gets into gear for the fall debut of Private Practice. It's definitely going to be strange watching Grey's without Addison and Dr. Burke, but it looks like we'll get a chance to see both actors on new shows next season. Yep, that's right, Dr Burke may be gone from Grey's but NBC has added Isaiah to one of their most anticipated new shows, Bionic Woman.

Zhang Ziyi and Vivi Nevo at Media Elite Gathering

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 21:40:23 GMT

NV Investments president Vivi Nevo (R) holds hands with actress Zhang Ziyi as they leave the second session of the Allen and Co. conference at Sun Valley Resort in Idaho July 12, 2007. Cooperation, not mutual destruction, is a major theme at this year's summer gathering of the media and technology elite in Sun Valley

Photos - President of NV Investments Nevo rides his bike next to actress Zhang as they arrive for Allen and Co. conference at Sun Valley Resort

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 21:39:30 GMT

President of NV Investments Vivi Nevo (L) rides his bike next to actress Ziyi Zhang (R) as they arrive for the second session of the Allen and Co. conference at Sun Valley Resort in Idaho July 12, 2007. Cooperation, not mutual destruction, is a major theme at this year's summer gathering of the media and technology elite in Sun Valley.

Infidelity - Is It Ever Ok?

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 21:18:36 GMT

The Official David Beckham Website

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 01:18:13 GMT

The creepiest bath room accessories - you have been warned!

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 14:07:03 GMT

this is actually soap

Caribbean Queen Rihanna Barbados-born Rihanna talks about the sexy ''Umbrella'' video, why she wanted to shake up her good-girl image,

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 09:36:23 GMT

RIHANNA ''I was being forced into a particular innocent image and I just had to break away from that.''

At just 19 years old, Rihanna has already released three records (her latest, Good Girl Gone Bad came out on June 5), and has seen her hot summer song ''Umbrella'' top various charts and set a record for single-day digital downloads. She's two years shy of being able to legally order a drink at a bar in her new hometown, Los Angeles, but this young artist has most certainly arrived. Here, Rihanna (born Robyn Rihanna Fenty) talks about where she gets her strict work ethic, what it's like working with Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, and how she is received back home in Barbados.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Where do you get all this ambition and drive?
RIHANNA: My mom is very ambitious. She was a workaholic. If she took a week off from work, she got so miserable at home. She was like, ''Robyn, I have to do something. I have to do something.'' She would just go to my aunt's store to help her work, just because she couldn't sit still. And when I get an off day I do the same thing: I wake up early, I have to go out, I have to go shopping, I have to walk around, I cannot sleep late. Usually, I would be able to take a late day, especially in the studio, working all night, you can sleep late. But now, I am up super early.

With everything you have going on, usually people want to take some time off between an album or a movie or whatever just to rejuvenate and re-energize. How do you keep the momentum going from one project to another nonstop?
I think for several reasons. One is because I'm young and I can't — honestly, when I take a break I get really fidgety and restless and I wanna get back to work. That has a lot to do with my youth. Younger people are usually very restless and can't keep quiet. But also, I am very passionate about what I do. I love making music. I love the process of it. And every time, I like to switch it up a little bit and make it different. This time, I've been able to change it up completely and show people my growth and really reveal myself to people.

Going into your new CD, did you feel pressure to make a great album rather than a few great singles?
This time around, I just wanted to make an album that people could listen to from beginning to end without skipping any because it's always a waste of time me going to the studio to record a song and then people skip it. When I buy an album I hate when I have to skip songs and I just have two songs to listen to. Brandy's Afrodisiac album really helped to inspire that as well, because that album I listen to all day, all night. When I was in the studio that was the album that I listened to all the time and I really admired that every song was a great song. You could listen to the entire album. And I was like, ''You know what? I have to make an album like this.''

What was it like working with Justin Timberlake?
It was very great. [Laughs] It was fantastic because he's such a cool guy. You know, he's Justin Timberlake! And he's still cool and chill. He's fun, but he's very serious about his work. And Timbaland — they just have a blast in the studio. I had a great time with them.

How did you hook up with Justin?
Well, Timbaland was on tour with Justin and we had to follow Timbaland, really. So we went to Chicago first and one night after the show, Justin just came into the studio and he started messing around, making a beat. And it was fun. We played around with that one, too. And when we came to New York, Justin came back to the studio and he was like, ''I wanna write this song for Rihanna.'' So Timbaland had an idea and he knew he wanted to call the song ''Rehab'' and he had a beat. So then Justin Timberlake came in and he just put his thing on it. He wrote the song in his head. He didn't write anything on paper. He went into the booth and sang it and I was very, very impressed. We all loved it.

Can you tell me what that song's about?
''Rehab'' is a metaphorical song. Rehab really just means we have to get over the guy. So we talk about checking ourselves into rehab, meaning we have to get over him. And we compare the guy to a disease or an addiction. We're just saying, ''We don't wanna smoke any cigarettes no more,'' meaning we don't wanna deal with this BS anymore.

Lots of '80s-pop influences on your new CD. Where does that influence come from? Are you a fan of '80s pop?
I have to say when I was younger, I never used to [listen to it] because I wasn't very exposed to it, but as I grow older, I want to know more about music. I want to discover more types of music that I wasn't really exposed to. And that's what I've been doing. Even on this album, you can hear little, little things from the '80s.

Did you write any songs on your new CD?
No.

Would you like to get into songwriting in the future?
I love songwriting, but if the song is great, I just leave it. I'm not one of those people who's like, ''I have to have a publishing credit!'' It's not about that; it's about making great music.

Have you found your true sound with your new CD or do you think you'll continue to try different things in the future?
You know what? I think that when artists do albums, it should be an expression of them. I'm a growing person so you never know what's gonna come out next time. This is an expression of how I feel right now. If this is still how I feel next album, then my sound is gonna remain very similar. But I like to experiment, I like to take risks, and I like to do different things every time. So I'll switch it up every time just making it better each time.

With regard to the title of your new CD, is there a darker side of you that we haven't seen?
Good Girl Gone Bad was an expression of where I am at this point in my life, where I am in my career. It just represents my rebelliousness. I got really rebellious because I was being forced into a particular innocent image and I just had to break away from that.... I think every teenager just has a point in their life when they just get rebellious. They go into their own world, they shut everybody's opinion out, and they don't care. That's when they stick to what they want and that's what I'm doing right now.

What you're doing now — shedding your innocent good girl image by adopting a sexier look and edgier sound — we've seen before with Janet, Britney, and Christina. What, if any, is the difference between you and them? Do you view them as examples of what not to do?
It's very important for me to show people who I am because fans can connect with me more. And when people see the video [for ''Umbrella''] the first thing they say is that I got sexier, and I wasn't even thinking about that. Everything I wore is a reflection of how I felt, a reflection of where I am right now. And even the part in the video when I'm painted silver, people really talk about that, and I wasn't even thinking about being naked, I was looking at the visual. It's more artistic for me. So it's definitely showing people me more than trying to look sexy.

Did you think back to how Madonna, Janet, and Britney made this transformation as while were plotting your own?
This album is not really something that I decided to do. I decided in myself that I'm just gonna do whatever I feel like. And it just came naturally. I didn't say, ''I'm gonna put this on. It's gonna be very sexy. It's gonna be dark.'' I didn't really think about these things. So everything you see me doing right now, I didn't pull inspiration from anybody that I've seen before. This is all me. It's something that I just feel like doing. And what you get is exactly me.

What's it like when you go back to visit Barbados these days? Do you still have a lot of friends there? Are people mostly happy for you or do you get hated on a lot?
A lot of them hate me, but a lot of them love me. I don't really let the ones that hate me stop me from doing what I wanna do. They always have something to say about what I'm wearing, what I'm not wearing, like in the ''Umbrella'' video. If I wear a swimsuit to the beach, it's a problem, they put it on the front of the newspaper and call into programs. It really annoys me when people that I try to represent and I try to put them on the map as much as I can — you know, I didn't have to put Tridents in my videos.

Put what in your videos?
Trident, which is the symbol of the flag. I didn't have to talk about them. I didn't have to even mention that I'm from Barbados. But I do and people kind of take it for granted. They hate me. They talk s--- about me all the time. But I'm like, ''Whatever. I'm still doing this cause I love to do it and you're not going to stop me.'' p>What new artists from the Caribbean are you feeling right now?
I love Collie Buddz, Vibes Cartel. Sean Paul, of course, is the man.

What do you like to do during your off time? Do you like to party? Are you a big club girl?
I love to party! That's part of my culture. I'm from Barbados. We love to dance. We love to listen to music and just get crazy. I actually don't even do it because I don't have time and I'm underage. But when I go to Europe, I'm of age there so I go out and I have a blast.

Do you have any plans to take time off soon so you can settle into your new crib in L.A. and just live life?
After this album, after my schedule dies down a little bit, I'm gonna get into movies... I would like to act in an action movie or a comedy.

Do you ever feel like you're growing up too fast?
I don't think I'm growing up too fast. That can definitely happen, but I'm still a kid at heart, sometimes. I feel like an adult and my actions are very mature, but I still love to have fun, I still love to crack jokes and play pranks on people and just enjoy myself as a kid.

Map of all the single men and women !!!

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 19:33:55 GMT

Here's some fun with demographics — it's a treasure map! Actually, it's a map of where the excess single men (in blue) and excess single women (in red) are located.

One of the worst Photoshop mistakes I ve seen ever Photoshop Anyone? The Single Hand. Funny how the advertiser didn`t think anyone would notice.

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 19:32:18 GMT

Apparently, Thing from The Addam's Family is back to work. The Single Hand. Funny how the advertiser didn`t think anyone would notice.

Man violently assaulted and tased by police at Minneapolis airport for leaving by bicycle. Broke no laws.

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 19:22:58 GMT

Here are the salient facts of this case:
I was leaving MSP airport by bicycle after a flight from California. I was legally operating my bicycle completely in accord with MN statutes and MAC airport ordinances. I was following all posted signs. There were NO signs at that time prohibiting bicycles. I was rudely accosted by an officer in a passing squad car, came to a stop, and was immediately threatened with mace and taser if I didn't get off the bike and up on the curb. I did not understand the reason for this outrage.
I calmly yet firmly protested the threats, and said that I was happy to abide by all laws that applied, but asked what I had done wrong and why the process was so immediately belligerent. Officer Wingate said 'You can't ride here'.
I asked where that was posted. Officer Wingate made a vague gesture in the direction of the Lindbergh terminal and angrily said 'back there'. I asked for specifics of where it was and what the sign said, and tried to explain that I had been to the airport many times and had never seen such a sign. Officer Wingate became more angry at this questioning of his authority, and burst out 'I'm *telling* you you can't ride here'. I never raised my voice, used profanity or made threatening gestures yet I was threatened again: 'I'm going to mace you, I'm going to tase you!'.

USB butt cooler for people working long hours on computer wow it is so funny :)

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 14:10:29 GMT

With this timewise desk work becoming matter of concern, the bearing surface of the chair. When directly it is sat down, sweating, there is a thing [tsu] [te] whose feeling is bad don't you think?.

Such a time “the USB [hi] it is to do, turn of the cushion”!!　Connecting the cable which belongs to USB of the personal computer, switch on!! Taking in the air from the fan of attachment, with the mechanism which sends the wind to the whole seat, also temperature of the bearing surface goes down, comfortably!!

If as for connection you connect from USB of the personal computer and turn on the switch completion. Because only supply of electricity has gone from the personal computer, installation and the like of the difficult software being unnecessary, you can utilize.

The air outside is sucked from the fan, it is possible! to maintain coolly by the fact that the wind is sent to the whole seat! It is the little mechanism, but this is cool well enough, it is!! 　The countless hole to open the seat, because the wind keeps flowing from there, it has become the mechanism where the whole seat becomes cool.

If you connect with USB of the personal computer, completion of preparation!

Because the switch has belonged, the personal computer it is possible to utilize with while connected.

If the switch is turned on, the air where the fan turns automatically, is sucked flowing to the seat, [muremure] which becomes matter of concern the way if is

On seat back, the occasion where it installs in the chair in order not to slip, being one-touch, the band which stops has belonged.
The USB [hi] it is to do, cushion specification
Supply of electricity
From USB supply of electricity (5V)
Correspondence OS
PC which USB standard is loaded
Size

Seat: 49 x 50.5 cm
Fan: 14 x 18cm
USB cable: 148cm

What Hilton learned from her hard time

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 21:53:28 GMT

About that ankle bracelet for Paris Hilton: Is it designer, I hope?

My guess is that by the time you finish reading this, Hilton will have an entire line of home-confinement jewelry on the market.

Thanks to Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca's generous release program, Hilton did slightly more than three days of a 45-day sentence for driving without a license after it had been suspended because she drove under the influence.

It seems like only yesterday that Baca spokesman Steve Whitmore was telling me her crime and sentence were a serious matter, and the professional party girl was expected to serve at least 23 days.

But that was before reports of a serious medical condition.

I'm not sure what was ailing Hilton, but I have to assume it was something more serious than a bad reaction to a bologna sandwich. I attended a parole hearing just last week for an L.A. County Jail inmate who served eight months for stealing a lightbulb despite having cancer, AIDS and dementia.

TMZ.com said the sheriff released Hilton because she "was in peril of having a nervous breakdown."

This was after discovering they didn't have any toenail polish.

"I want to thank the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and staff ... for treating me fairly and professionally," Hilton said in a statement.

Thank them?

She should have "I love Lee Baca" engraved on the ankle bracelet.

"I'm going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence," said the professional celebrity.

Yeah, while working on that new jewelry line, if not a book on how serving hard time changed her life.

"I have learned a great deal from this ordeal," Hilton's statement continued.

What, you ask?

1. Sheriff Baca is amazing!

2. I can probably push Lindsay Lohan in front of a bus and be out of jail in two weeks.

3. Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

4. Wait, what does that mean?

Wii outsells PS3 fivefold in Japan

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 11:30:12 GMT

Sony took another blow with Nintendo's Wii game console outselling its PlayStation 3 by more than five to one in Japan last month, raising doubts over Sony's nascent earnings recovery.

Sony's game division posted an operating loss of $1.91 billion in the year ended March 31 due to hefty start-up costs of the PlayStation 3, dragging down Sony's overall profitability.

There are investor concerns that a turnaround in its electronics division, led by robust sales of Bravia-brand flat TVs, could be offset by continued losses at the game unit.

In the latest step in its electronics operations, Sony said on Wednesday it would spend $494.3 million over the next three years to boost its capacity to make image sensor chips, which are used in cell phones and digital cameras--Sony's cash cow.

Sony sold 45,321 units of the PS3 in May, compared with 251,794 units of the Wii. In April, the ratio was four to one in favor of the Wii, according to Japanese game magazine publisher Enterbrain.

Nintendo, known for game characters such as Mario, Donkey Kong and Pokemon, launched the Wii in November. The device features a motion-sensitive controller that allows users to direct on-screen play by swinging it like a tennis racket or wielding it like a sword, opening a new avenue of game playing.

Rival Sony also started selling the PS3 late last year, but has seen slow demand so far due to its high price tag and limited availability of attractive software titles.

"If there were half a dozen good titles people wanted to play on the PS3, I'm sure it would actually be doing quite well," KBC Securities analyst Hiroshi Kamide said.

Sony ruled the $30 billion global game industry over the past decade with the original PlayStation and PlayStation 2.

"We are only less than a year into the new (console) cycle. It is wrong to say Nintendo has won and Sony has lost ... It's not game over, but it's not very encouraging."

Sony aims to ship 11 million units of the PS3 in the current business year to March 2008, up from 5.5 million a year earlier.

Hitting that target seems "rather difficult," Kamide said.
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In the United States, the Wii was the top-selling new console for the fourth month in a row in April, with Nintendo selling 360,000 units, while Sony sold 82,000 units of the PS3 and Microsoft sold 174,000 Xbox 360 machines.

Analysts say Sony may also face an uphill battle in its planned expansion in its sensor chip operations.

With the planned $494.3 million investment, Sony will boost its output capacity of CMOS censor chips, which are more power efficient than CCDs--the other type of major sensor chips.

Since Sony is relatively new to the CMOS market, it will likely need to offer its products at aggressive prices to compete with established makers such as Micron Technology and Toshiba, hurting its profitability, said Yoshihisa Toyosaki, president of research firm j-STAR Global.

Nintendo shares closed up 0.5 percent at 42,800 yen (about $352.60), while Sony was up 0.4 percent at 6,870 yen ($56.60).

Nintendo's stock almost quadrupled over the past two years, initially driven by strong demand for its DS handheld players and then by popularity of the Wii, far outperforming Sony shares, which gained 75 percent.

Lindsay Lohan’s Mystery Knife Partner Revealed to be Vanessa Minnillo

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 13:35:04 GMT

Vanessa Minnillo found herself the center of some unwanted attention on June 1 when disturbing photos surfaced -- taken in the predawn hours of June 16, 2006, in NYC - showing her with Lindsay Lohan tugging down the starlet's top and engaging in bizarre and dangerous acts of knife play.

The pics were taken at 4:50 a.m. in a home in Greenwich Village after a night of partying at NYC club Bungalow 8, and were later stolen from Lindsay's camera.

Minnillo, 26, who at that point had been dating Nick Lachey, 33, for just a few weeks "got caught up in the moment and thought it would be fun," according to source.

But she's not having fun now. "It was stupid and she regrets it," says the source. "They were only fooling around."

Keep checking Usmagazine.com for more details on the story behind the photographs and how Nick is taking the news.

How do you find out if a girl really likes you

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 00:59:19 GMT

Finding Out if a Girl Likes You

Here is some advice from other FAQ Farmers on how to find out if a girl likes you.

* If they stop and look at you ... if they look at you a lot ... if they laugh at your jokes ... if they gaggle and act like drunk crazy girls.

* Here's some help coming from a girls POV. If you've noticed that she has gradually began to get closer to you, ex: sitting with you at lunch, talking with you more, asking if you want to go do something, or hanging with your friends. She may also be mean to you: make fun of you when you do something stupid or have a good come back when you've completely set yourself up for it. Staring at you and looking away or acting like she was looking at something else when you notice. She may begin to take an interest in things you like and when you are sitting by her and either you arm or leg "accidentally" touches hers and she doesn't move and if she does its to scoot closer to you.

* This is coming from a girl. I'm sort of shy when I like a guy. I flirt back if he starts it, but I'm usually don't flirt with a guy I like unless I can tell he wants to. I'm usually more quite, but I smile a lot when he says something to me. A lot of times I make sure that he has a good "view" of me. When you talk to the girl you like, you should be able to tell if she likes it or not. If she laughs at the things you say, even it isn't that funny, and if she pays full attention to you when you talk to her. I think letting a girl know you like her is always a good thing, because most of the time we can sense it anyway, even if we're not sure about it. If she likes you back, she'll tell you, but if not, she won't think you're weird for telling her. She'll be flattered that someone likes her. So, flirt and if she responds well, tell her.

* All girls are different, some are the shy type, some are the more active type as in acting a bit more forward, a girl that is just naturally a shy type will express her like for you by trying to ignore u, hardly speeks to you but you will notice her stare(give you glances) and you may notice her try to look away quickly so that you don't catch her, you may even catch her smile at you at times, it will seem very obvious by the way she tries to avoid u. You'll just notice. Now on the other hand a girl that is more active will tend to stand closer to you when you talk with her and stuff... she may won't to keep talking to a bit longer as in dragging the conversation I have much 2 say on this I'm an expert.

* If you want to know if she likes you get a few people around you and ask them all who they like just so when it comes to asking the girl you like, it will seem natural that you're asking everyone. IF she stumbles for an answer or blushes or is like 'uh no-one' (giggle giggle) or looks at her friend for an answer, then you can be nearly 100% sure (not that good)

* 1. ask her friends; 2. ask her in person; 3. flirt and find out; 4. ask a friend to ask her

* I am a girl and somewhat shy, but when I like a boy I tend to look over at him a lot and smile when he talks to me (without even realizing it). If I pass him in the hallway I will poke him or hit him lightly or something too and keep walking like I didn't do it. =)

* A lot of people say that a girl's heart rate gets faster or she blinks faster if she is near the person she likes, but some raise the question "do I really have to measure her pulse to see if she me?" Well no! there is a MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH easier way. in fact, this is so easy, you will laugh at its simplicty, you don't even have to talk to her, not even look at her, you can be a deaf mute and this will work. Here is how it works: Women are territorial, like cats. if the person you like sits next to you in class, scoot a little bit close to her, like 1/2 an inch (half an inch). since women have their "personal space" and their "other people space", she may move farther away, this means that you are still in the "other people space", you don't want that, you want her NOT to move, ie. let you into her "personal space", so what you should do is: 1. Move closer to her while talking or sitting (not too close, like 1-2 inches). 2. See if she moves away, if she does not, then congrats buddy, she likes you! (because she let you into her "personal space").

* I hang out with and talk with a lot of girls and I've noticed some of their flirts: 1. A comeback that you've set up for yourself. 2. Any small tap or poke, or even just a hit on the arm. 3. Lots of laughing, smiling, staring. 4. If they pass you in a hall and say hello or do something to make you notice them.

* Also watch out. Girls like playing guys a lot. Why? For attention. They like to be "liked" or "wanted" by other guys. And its just part of the "female" genetic code. Girls will probably post and say there not like that, and 100% disagree with me....but deep down inside, they know its true. But mabey its just me, cause I havent found "her" yet (have tried, and still am...but its becomeing harder and harder as years go by) Anyway, I've been hurt a lot by girls. So just a warning to the guys still in highschool, just watch out and don't jump completely into it. If you show too much interest you'll get burned, and try to be an "A**hole. Although more girls will disagree with me (ive tried being the nice gentleman for way too long), treat girls like sh*t and they'll want you even more.

* I'm a SHY girl & this is what I do when I like someone and I'm not sure about whether the feeling is reciprocated: I try not to look at them. Confusing yes, but those kinds of things can be seen in someone's eyes...hence, the eye aversion.

* if the girl is always calling you names with her friends and does not do that when it is just you 2 then you can tell that she likes you if she comes out of no where and put her arms around you then you can tell that she likes you a lot because this girls is doing that to me and I am about to put that mac game on her. yea so when a girl is always makeing fun of you thats because she thinks you are so sexy. and don't be scared to go up to a girl when she is with her friends. her friends all ready know that the girl like you so don't be shy. stand up and be a man. be when you get a girl make sure that you do that girls right give her everything. I was just like you shy to go 2 a girl to but the fine girl you know will go with you if you have the right game.

* (I'm a girl) You can tell if a girl sincerely likes you, when she hangs on every word you say. Meaning: you ask her something simple that doesn't require a long answer, like "So you went to college to take up what?" And she replies, "For liberal arts." If she really likes you she'll try to add something to keep the conversation moving. She'll add something like, "Yeah I wanted to take up something else but I..." or she may ask YOU something, "What did YOU take up in college?" When you speak to her and you're looking into her eyes she'll stare straight into yours and never look away b/c she's so into your words, your voice, your thoughts. Many people say you can tell if a girl likes you if she touches you a lot and that's true, but sometimes there isn't a real reason to touch. So maybe she'll shyly find an excuse to stand next to you although she can really move over alittle. THE MAIN WAY TO TELL: She pays more attention to you than anyone else. Test: have a friend (mutual) say hello to her while you're talking to her. If she turns fast and says hello and then turns back to you as if she was never interrupted -good chance she likes you. Note: you can't try it on HER friends. Because to throw you off, she may go into conversation with them -but then she'll realize how rude that is, and try to add you in on the conversation. I hope that helps.

* That is very true she will sit buy you more often and also talk to you more and flirt with you like play around with you and stare, ask you questions and smile alot at you. As a girl with one of my guy friends I seem to smile alot and flirt with him also and play around with him, tease him and pick on him alot.

How to Woo a Girl

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 00:57:23 GMT

1. Show interest and show her that you would like to get to know her and you were happy to meet her or talk to her.
2. Always look into her eyes when speaking to her. That subtly will make her see that you are really taking an interest.
3. Be sensitive and caring. Let her cry on your shoulder if she's sad. Make her smile when she's feeling crummy.
4. If you have little siblings, nieces, or nephews, show her that you really care for them. Play with them, watch over and protect them, show the girl that they look up to you.
5. For Valentine's Day (if you celebrate it) be "sweet" or "thoughtful" instead of showy and cliched. A dozen red roses may be the traditional romantic gift, but most girls will be better pleased with a few of their favorite flowers tied with a red, pink, or white ribbon. Actually remembering a girl's "favorites" will endear you to her more than any elaborate scheme. If it's early in the relationship, though, and you don't know her "favorites" yet, a teddy bear (or other stuffed animal) is a perfectly fine "fallback gift".
6. Pick up lines are OK as long as they aren't obnoxious or overtly sexual to someone you don't know.
7. Make her laugh. Girls love guys with a great sense of humor. That doesn't mean you should never take anything seriously, or else you'll come off as a clown.

Tips [edit]

* Remember that all girls are different, and there's no one way to make any girl fall for you. For alternative takes on making a girl get butterflies in her stomach, check out the Related wikiHows below.
* Don't stalk girls. They will start to avoid you. However, you can try to talk to them more, through phone, IM, email, whatever.
* Look at yourself in the mirror. If you've got an odd hair style or own something embarrassing which will make you look stupid, change it. Most girls don't mind appearance but nearly all will have first impressions. Make them for the best.
* Girls don't like nasty breath. Eat mints regularly and brush teeth often.
* Don't just act natural - be natural. If your girl has a brain, she'll be able to detect that you're trying too hard, or striving to be something you're not.
* Nothing is sexier than confidence. However, nothing is as unattractive as arrogance, or more annoying than a needy lack of self-esteem. Try with everything you have to find the drawing medium which is confidence.
* Shower often.
* Fashion isn't just for girls... it's for guys to be recognized by girls. Get a nice pair of shoes. A pair of cool jeans will also look cool when bought from a fashionable teen store. Same goes for shirts. Don't just buy one outfit. Clothes should never be worn more than twice a week.
* Calling her "cute" or "beautiful" is more appreciated than "hot" or sexy", in fact, try to avoid the latter as much as possible.
* Get in shape.
* Ask her how she's doing and try to notice her moods. If she's sad, comfort her. If she is mad, ask her "what's wrong?" If she does not want to talk about it, don't press.
* Don't be awkward or geeky when asking her out. Think of your own ways and do not try to act cool.
* Stand up for her if your friends (or anyone else, for that matter)don't treat her with respect, or say rude things about her behind her back. Not objecting makes you as good as an accomplice.

Warnings [edit]

* Do this for every girl you are in a relationship with. If word gets out that you were a jerk to your last girlfriend, no one will want to date you.
* Watch yourself. You can't always act the same around girls as you do around your male friends, especially at first.
* If a girl is known to spread rumors about exes, be extra careful and consider whether this is really the girl for you.
* Don't put on strong cologne. Girls hate the smell and avoid it as long as possible. Light cologne or the fresh shower smell is nice.
* Don't ever force any girl to do something she doesn't want to do.

How to Treat a Girl Well Be nice to her!

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 00:56:57 GMT

1. Remember that, most of all, every human being wants to be appreciated. The more genuine and specific you are, the better.
2. Find out about her hobbies by asking questions about the kind of music she likes, observing her environment, and asking about clothes or pictures she might have.
3. Compliment her. Say that her hair looks nice or she has a cool shirt on. Mean it. Keep it real.
4.
A small gift is a nice touch
A small gift is a nice touch
Tell her she is pretty. No matter how average your looks may be, a girl will usually be flattered and pleased to know you think she is attractive. Say "You've got the most beautiful eyes/hair/skin/hands/etc. I've ever seen" and again - mean it!
5. Take a shower, put on deodorant, and brush your teeth right before you see her - every time. Nothing makes a girl more uncomfortable than body odor and/or bad breath.
6. Listen! You need to be a good listener. That works with most of the girls, they need someone who will patiently listen and understand them! There is a huge difference between "Hearing" and "Listening" so make sure you don't just "hear" her. Pay close attention to what she is saying and really "listen" to her from your heart!
7. Let her know about things she might be interested in. This will show her you remembered and are thinking about her, and the things she likes.
8. Don't forget her special occasions - especially her birthday.
9. Be truthful, there is no need to lie.
10. Make her feel comfortable. Relax and enjoy the time you spend together.
11. If she is upset with you, listen carefully to the reasons why. Repeat or reflect her feelings so that she knows you really heard her. If it makes sense to you, apologize for your actions that upset her. If you feel you were in the right, however, tell her you didn't realize your actions would hurt her and you're sorry to cause her pain, and that you'll have to consider more carefully next time. As mentioned earlier - keep it real. Do NOT promise never to do it again if you don't intend to keep that promise. If the thing that upsets her is a thing that is fundamental to your personality, you might not be able to change it to a degree that will make her comfortable, and that may mean you will eventually have to part ways.
12. Being honest during the dating process means you respect her wants and needs, but you also recognize your own. If you find yourself always apologizing or trying to soothe her ruffled feathers, you need to honestly decide whether or not the two of you are a match. Treating a girl well also means recognizing this truth, and telling her in a way that hurts as little as possible - as soon as you know. Don't string her along in order to get that last concert paid for, dude.

Tips [edit]

* When you are at a restaurant, sit across from her at the table (unless the table is really long, in which case you should sit next to her). Allow her to sit facing the room, while you face the wall. This way you give the impression that you require no view other than her beauty.
* Some girls won't want you to pay for them; if that's the case, don't press the issue. It's the thought that counts, and she's sure to recognize your courtesy.
* Taking her to places that cost lots of money isn't necessary. Take her to the park, maybe buy ice cream on the way; that way you interact with her. If you do go to the movies, plan on going for coffee or dessert after (which means a light dinner, and less expense - bonus!) so that you can talk about what you just saw.
* Take things slow. Don't rush into an emotional or physical attachment just because you think you should
* Look her directly in the eyes when you speak to her or when she is speaking to you. But don't be creepy about it. Staring is not considered attentiveness, it's considered weird.
* Pay careful attention to your manners at all times.
* Show that you are impressed by her, but don't forget to impress her with something different. Show you are different and sometimes crazy about life. Show her something that only you have got.
* Girls are constantly analyzing you, what you do, how you dress, dates you take them on and lots of other things. Take this into account and dress for the situation, as a good balance will keep them impressed. Theres no point in dressing to impress, but then being cheap about where you take her, or going to a nice restaurant in a tracksuit.
* Do not put her on a pedestal. You are there to be an equal human, not a doormat. If you act like you worship the ground she walks on, you will come across as needy and clingy.
* Arrogant men don't get all the girls, confident guys do - and there's a huge difference. Women are less visually-oriented than men are, so even if you're not the most attractive guy in the world, your confidence will suggest that you're someone worth being with and your personality will back up that suggestion. Plus, if you are kind and warm when interacting with her and with others, she will see your value without your needing to have movie-star good looks. just act & dress like a gentleman and everything should be sweet
* opening doors and pulling out chairs for the girl is not old fashioned, its cute! Any girl likes a boy who will treat her well.

Warnings [edit]

* Make sure you don't act nervous; just be calm, relaxed, and straight to the point. Don't stutter, mumble, or say "Um" or "Uh"; that will make her think you're bored. Take your time and think about what you want to say before you launch into some rambling tirade.
* If she tells you about a personal problem, don't try to fix it. Just listen to her. (There are a few exceptions.) If she starts to cry, this is a big clue that she's really into you - it indicates that she trusts you enough to show she's vulnerable with you. A nice gesture here is to put your arms around her and just hold her. Don't say "Don't cry." Say, "Aww. It's going to be okay."
* If you exaggerate your compliments or are insincere, a girl can usually see through that. No one likes a kiss-up.
* Make sure you're being yourself. If you act like a gentleman when you are alone with her, and then like a jerk when you're with you're friends, she will catch on and you will run into trouble.
* Most importantly: Make sure she doesn't find out you tried to learn how to make her laugh reading articles on the Internet. At least not til your one year anniversary. By then you've reeled her in, and she's already hooked into your nefarious clutches!

How to Look Good to a Girl Never compete with a guy-friend for a girl.

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 00:56:19 GMT

1. Be healthy. A good complexion and healthy glow shows the opposite sex that you take care of yourself. Eat 5 or more portions of fruits and vegetables a day and drink plenty of water (8 glasses). Drinking orange or other fruit juices are good ways to achieve both goals.
2. Stay fit. Lift weights for at least 20 minutes a day. This only works for girls who like buff, athletic guys. If you're more the brainy type, just keeping relatively fit (no flab) is enough. Also, regardless of your body type, "six-pack" abs seem to be universally considered good looking. Work on that as a priority by mixing aerobic exercise with crunches.
3. Be well-groomed:
* Shave regularly unless you like the scrubby look.
* Shaving only below the jawline not only makes a beard look neat and groomed, it makes stubble look masculine rather than ungroomed.
* Trim your fingernails and toenails.
* Take care of your teeth. Brush, floss, and use mouthwash daily. See your dentist on a regular basis. Don't let your teeth get stained (with coffee and cigarettes, especially) and use whitening treatment if you still need help.
* Shower every day.
* If you have oily skin, be sure to rinse your face at least once a day to prevent a greasy shine and acne.
* Use a deodorant with little scent or get a "matched" product that goes with a specific product line. Unscented soaps and lightly scented shampoos won't clash with colognes. Use an anti-perspirant if you sweat excessively. Also trimming (not shaving) body hair may help control body odor.
* Spraying cologne into the air and walking through the cloud is a waste. Apply two sprays to the chest, one on either wrist, followed by pressing them together (rubbing breaks down the oils,) and one to the back of the neck just below the hairline to create "spillage," a very light scent trail that lasts for five to ten seconds after you walk through an area.
4. Take mints with you. Avoid bad breath foods like garlic and onions. (Note: some girls don't like minty breath so also look into non-minty alternatives like orange or cinnamon Tic-Tacs.)
5. Ask others for feedback. Be aware that you may get conflicting feedback, especially with things such as clothing styles, hairstyles, and colognes. Work their opinions into your style, but ultimately, choose what makes you feel the most confident.
6. Be very aware of your posture: good posture will give you a confident aura. It can also make you look taller.
7. Dressing right can be very important to girls, but you don't have to go spending hundreds of dollars on the latest and greatest styles. A nice shirt and a clean pair of jeans is more than enough. Try a polo shirt, and some cool some what baggy, worn-looking jeans. Just be sure it's comfortable for you or else she'll pick up on your discomfort and think it's her.
8. Get a good amount of sleep! Looking tired and bleary eyed all the time is very unattractive, and tends to detract from the rest of your appearance as well. Not to mention, no one likes a cranky guy.
9. Learn to dance. If you show girls you know how to move, they're likely to be impressed with your skills and think you know how to do lots of other things. Even if you're not a great dancer, she'll be impressed with your confidence and lack of embarrassment.
10. Be confident about yourself! Confidence and other moods show through in your body language, and if you can't make the to effort and learn to love yourself, why should she?
11. Smile, especially if you have nice teeth. A positive attitude is a definite turn on, and most girls love a good grin.
12. Comfort her if she's having a bad day or simply needs a hug. If she cries in front of you it means that she trusts you with her feelings. Never tell her what she's worrying about is "stupid," though you should point it out gently if she's wrong.
13. A girl will be won over by subtle compliments, but be careful here. Only give compliments that you actually believe. She can usually tell if you're just making up lies to sweet talk her.

Tips [edit]

* Looking good to a girl is more about good hygiene than anything else. If you think about that, it just makes sense. If a man doesn't take proper care of himself, how can he be expected to take care of her, or anything/anyone else?
* Looks aren't everything. Find a girl who likes you for who you are, not your clothes, white teeth, and six-pack abs.
* Show some class. Don't swear every other word, and don't make crude gestures.
* Read the news, keep up on the latest books, so you can converse intelligently. While clothes may make the man, an interesting and caring man will get the girl. Be sensitive, but not too sensitive.
* For crying out loud, have fun. You'll be at your most attractive point when you're enjoying yourself and her company. Take her somewhere that makes you feel comfortable and even energetic. You don't have to wow her your first time hanging out with a fancy restaurant; for some of us, cheap Chinese food and a walk through the park bring out the best.
* Get to know her friends; they'll help do some of the tough work for you by letting her know how cool you are.
* Moving forward with a girl is a lot like rock-climing, yes, rock-climing. Take your time and make sure that both of you are comfortable with each other, and the state of your relationship before taking the next step.
* It's usually not a good idea to ask a girl out on a date when she's only just getting to know you. Go out with groups of friends, so she can see you in a comfortable, relaxed setting. If she starts showing an interest (eg. talking to you more than the other people there, pulling you away from the group, appearing really interested in what you say, laughing at your jokes, etc.) then it's time to ask her out. Now that you've got her attention, you've just got to be yourself!

Warnings [edit]

* Don't flirt too much. It may freak her out.
* Some girls are just not interested in you no matter what you do or say, so do not get discouraged, just move on.
* Don't go overboard on the cologne. No matter how good it smells, too much of anything is bad. There are also many essential oils that are quite masculine, these can normally be used straight, dabbed below and behind ears. Remember, girls like guys to be natural, so less is more here.
* Some girls are allergic to scents and colognes will turn them off.
* Never be loud and obnoxious.
* Never insult her.
* Always make sure she's comfortable with the conversation you're in, and comfortable around you, never make her feel scared to talk to you, make her feel like she can trust you and tell you anything, or else, you're toast.
* Never compete with a guy-friend for a girl.

How to Get a Sweet Girlfriend

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 00:55:24 GMT

1. Be nice. Not obsessively, like stalking her and offering to do things all the time. When she's carrying something heavy, offer to take it for her. When she's wondering about the homework, offer to help her. This is called Chivalry. Use it - it makes girls feel special and highlights your masculinity. You'll look like a nice guy, and sweet girls tend to be more impressed by nice guys.
2. Smell good. Body odour is not good. Shower, and if you want, apply some scent. Use only a little. You want her to wonder what that wonderful smell is, not feel like she's getting hit over the head with it.
3. Look at the way you talk. Guys who swear and curse loudly are not impressive. It makes you look immature, like a boy trying to look tough. Sound intelligent every once in a while, but don't be afraid to joke sometimes. A deep voice is great, especially when you're on the phone - practice!
4. Be confident, but don't be arrogant. Confidence is great with all girls, and if you mix in some humor you'll have a winning combination.
5. Shave. Bristles are not good. Take care of your skin. It makes you look clean and neat, not rough around the edges. Sweet girls tend to prefer well groomed guys, not ones who are a bit of a mess.
6. Do well in school. The majority of sweet, good girls, when asked, say they prefer guys who do well in school, rather than guys who don't. They tend to look for guys who they might have a long term relationship with, so they want a guy with a future worth sharing.
7. You don't have to be a total goody two shoes, but don't be a tough guy either. Most school guys who do try to look tough end up looking like amateurs. Besides, girls love sweet guys, but not wusses, this is a fine line. Remember, masculinity is still good. The way you walk and talk can make you look more masculine.

Tips [edit]

* Not all girls are the same, not even all "sweet" girls. Each have different tastes. So while your sweet girl may be crazy about guys with good grades, she might not mind that little bit of bristle you've got there. It varies.
* Sports make you look good. As long as you don't look too obsessive, this brings you up a notch on the masculinity scale.
* This guide is not for sex, it is for proper relationships!

Warnings [edit]

* Try too hard and you'll end up looking like a wuss.
* Do not overdo the cologne.
* This only works on the nice girls. If you're trying to get a tough girl to like you, take someone else's advice.
* Don't change who you are. If you end up becoming a totally different person, you will not be happy.
* Rough breakups occur when one person is faking something (interests/personality) and eventually they can't hold up the sham any longer.
* Don't try too hard to lower your voice. It will sound very fake and off putting.

How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 00:52:57 GMT

Getting a girl of your dreams is much like getting the car of your dream. But unlike a car which you can always bargain for, there is nothing like a 20 percent discount in courting the girl of your dreams, she's so sweet a thing to be discounted, you dearly are in love with her and your feelings for her can only be communicated not by the words of the mouth, but by the words of the heart. Getting the girl actually depends on how big your heart is - faint heart, never won fair lady.

The first step in the heart-winning exercise for any man is to make a good impression. In your doing so, you don't have to talk, dress or do the common things that all the Toms do to get a decent girl's attention. Be unique, that's all you need. Be a man of his own style. Dress decently - indecency can make one be mistaken for arrogance; watch your language - obscene language gives the impression of immaturity, being uncultured and cheap; be a man of good habits - don't drink or smoke like any other loser.

Let her fall in love gradually. Romance is an important part of falling in love. When in College I had a crush on the most beautiful lady in our first year lot. Though all senior guys were out to get that girl, I managed to divert her attention from the other guys. I wrote her three letters without disclosing my identity and slid into her room secretly; all I said was 'Yours Secret Admirer.' The first letter contained the meaning of her name, this I got by playing around with the initials of her name to make meaning. The second was a funny message that could only be read backwards and it was all about her physique and her smartness. In the third letter I told the girl to be ready to receive a rose flower from her admirer, but only if she could be kind enough to phone him using a number that I had included in the letter. The girl did phone me that very night, and her first words to me were, "Hallo Secret Admirer." So, the story of our love affair came to be. Later she told me that was so creative of me, no one had approached her in that manner. I made her fall in love with me in the romantic manner.

Befriending and understanding the girl you are out to get is the next important thing. This is what I also did. You have to understand that as a lady, she loves to be loved, adores to be adored and needs to be needed. This will move you closer to the girl and you'll get to know what she's into, what she likes and dislikes, and what her style is. Love is built upon friendship and it always leaves individuals better off having known each other should they break up. I and my College steady were to break some time later but to date, we are the best of buddies. Be sure that bringing out the selflessness friend in you will make her create room for you in her heart.

A shoulder to lean on and some good friend that she can always turn to is all that a lady wants. Please don't hesitate to be helpful and supportive. Be that friend who rekindles her zeal of hardworking and restoring hope back into her life when she looses hope. This above all other things will make you her daily vitamin simply because you bring out the best in her in terms of personality and character. In you, she'll have found that friend whom she can open up to, share with and advice each other on the rights and wrongs, the dos and don'ts of life. Don't forget to always be there to celebrate the good times, and to lend an ear when the girl needs you to listen as a friend.

Make the girl feel special; because she's someone's friend - your friend, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciations for the comfort the girl offers you and for making you smile.

In your day to day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the girl know that she's your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.

Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go 'my my' and her heart will sing your name all the year round.

You have to be creative and constructive to keep girl's interest in you so full of life. I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost exhausted a whole rim of paper. At sometime, I noticed that some guys sited with us on the table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are the things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?

Never fail to phone her, even when she least expects it. I once called some girl that I was interested in at four o'clock in the morning. When inquiring of what I was doing up so early, I told her I was in thirteenth heaven, where people think of their loved ones when they can't sleep. Wow! First thing early the next morning, she was at my door with a king-sized hug for me. No matter how many dates you take her, don't make any elbow - exceeding moves after any date, just drop her home and with a friendly handshake, wish her good night. Don't kiss her when she expects you to. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.

The writing is on the wall that you want her, but you can't have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she's actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she'll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you'll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you'll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.

Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.

The patience and self-control which you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that heart hers.

I wish you to meet the girl of your dreams ASAP, make her fall in love with you, and make her feel the happiest girl in the world!

How to Sweep a Girl off Her Feet

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 00:52:34 GMT

1. Find something about her that is truly special. Does she have anything about her that is unique? A subtle little quirk or feature that you find endearing, but that no one else seems to notice?
2.
Let her know that you think she's special without expecting anything (a phone number, a date) in return. If there is something specific that you notice about her aside the common that probably everyone notices, i.e., "Wow, nice tan" or "Oh, you have pretty eyes." If this girl is really interesting to you, there should be something far from the common that you notice. Here are some examples:

* "Hi, I don't mean to make you feel weird or anything, but you've just got the prettiest freckles I've ever seen."
* "Excuse me, but I can't walk out of here without telling you that you have an amazing laugh."
She'll probably smile, say thank you, look away, and maybe even blush. Remember that even if ultimately, it doesn't work out, you've at least made her day by giving her a true compliment. However, if she's good looking, she probably gets several compliments a day, so offer her one that is as unique as you believe she may be, like mentioning something about her personality. Don't come across as needy. Unless you really have your life together, you'll just be one of those other guys.
3.
Offer her your company, and walk away. That is, right before you leave, give her your phone number or screen name, or offer a time and a place to meet, and let her know that if she chooses not to take you up on your offer, you'll never bother her again. Don't give her a chance to accept or reject you. Make your offer and run. Give her a chance to think about it by herself, and wonder "Hmmm...I wonder what he's like." If you do this confidently, she'll feel compelled by her curiosity to get to know you better, and she won't feel like she's being pressured or chased. Also, the fact that she might never see you again will encourage her to follow up on any glimmer of hope she has about you being the guy of her dreams.
4. Don't look back. If she doesn't call or show up, leave her alone. She's not interested, and if that ends up being the case, don't take it personally. However, if she does call you or meet with you, you've probably swept her off her feet! The rest depends on chemistry and compatibility. Good luck!

Tips [edit]

* Here's an example of what you can say: "Hey, look, I've gotta go, but you seem like a really amazing person, and I'd like to get to know you better. Here's my number; call me and I'd love to take you out for a cup of coffee and talk. But if you're not interested, that's cool, too. I just didn't want to let this opportunity pass. Ok so just call me or something and here's my number again. " But don't say that you have to go if you really don't. It just makes you sound stupid.
* For inspiration, watch the movie 'Office Space' ('Hitch' is awesome, too) and study the scene where the main character goes up to the waitress (Jennifer Aniston) and lets her know that he'll be at the restaurant next door.
* The key is to make a woman feel special and appreciated, but there's a fine line between admiration and harassment. If you cross that subtle line and make her feel uncomfortable, you've ruined your chances of sweeping her off her feet.
* If your intentions aren't genuine, and your words aren't honest, then even if you get the girl at first, it's bound to end in disappointment.
* Steps 1 and 2 will probably sweep any woman off her feet, even if you've been married for 25 years.
* Try to walk the line between a feel-good compliment and a cheesy pick up line. Be sincere about it, but don't go over the top.
* Remember that all girls are different, and there's no one way to make any girl fall for you. For alternative takes on making a girl get butterflies in her stomach, check out the Related wikiHows below.

Warnings [edit]

* One thing girls can't stand is when guys are fake. If a guy says, "I think you have really beautiful hair," and the girl is having a terrible hair day, the guy sounds fake and just plain stupid. You need to make the girl feel special but without sounding fake!
* Don't stare at her if you aren't conversing with her (no matter how beautiful you think she is). Contrary to what some may say, staring is just creepy and rude. Stick to occasional glances, and give a small smile and perhaps a wave if you happen to catch her eye.
* Be honest. Girls can't stand it when someone (anyone, not just guys) lies to them. Don't be boastful about your achievements, either, but casually slip it in if you need to.
* Do not talk to the girl you like about other girls, your recent bad date, your ex girlfriends. This is a major turnoff that will only make the girl feel awkward and you look like a jerk

How to Get a Girl to Like You

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 00:51:57 GMT

1. Get yourself out there and let the world know you're available! Maybe the girl you're crushing on is crushing on you too, but thinks you're taken. Drop hints that you like her or just bluntly say so. Get involved in activities. Girls like guys that are doing things - especially sports. And on the plus side, if you join a school team, more girls will notice you so you have more options.
2. Be bold. Girls always like confidence, so tell her what you have to say. There is always a time for subtleties later.
3. Humor is always a great way to win over girls. By doing this you make that special someone feel more comfortable around you. Try to avoid dirty jokes and such (ie, jokes that your guy friends would find funny), and mostly go on wit and quips.
4. Be romantic and sweet to her.
5. Be yourself. Girls like boys who are themselves. And make sure you know the girl! While girls appreciate an honest boy, if who "you" are is not what the girl is into, you're not going to get very far...If she won't like you for who you truly are, she's not worth it.
6. Dig up any information you can find out about her. Search for her hobbies, interests, music she listens to, friends she likes, etc. Just understand her general style and adapt to it. The first thing a girl looks at is a guy's style.
7. Talk to her about stuff she is interested in - such as music she likes. Most importantly, try to get her to talk about herself, then build on that. People are naturally more comfortable talking about themselves anyway. Think of it as an opportunity to find out more about this girl so you can determine if you want to pursue her further. Also, if you are stuck on some conversation starters, remember the two starters that always seems to work: food and weather. Be funny and crack a joke every now and then or tell a girl an embarrassing story, but don't gossip! Most girls hate guys who gossip, but love guys who are funny.
8. Ask her to hang out. If you get to know each other better you may end up going out or you may end up realizing she wasn't the girl for you anyways.
9. Always be polite. Take into consideration the girl's feelings.
10. Be a gentleman. Open the door for her, pull out her chair before she sits down, don't interrupt, etc. Those things show a poised, graceful man, and girls like that. You can't act like you do around your male friends.
11. Compliment her. Just make sure that you are sincere, don't just make something up- if you look for something that really makes you like her, she'll know that you're interested in getting to know her better. Also, know the right ways to compliment. Some girls like it if you say "DAAAAMMMNNN!!" when they walk into the room, but some would be really offended. To be safe, be nice, cute, and above all, not creepy. Leering is a definite turn-off.
12. Don't be too clingy. Give her space.

Tips [edit]

* Make a point of remembering her birthday.
* Connect to her using body language. Let her catch you looking at her from the corner of your eye. Show her your interested, but don't creep her out.
* Show you have confidence; girls hate guys with low self-confidence.
* Always stay clean; you can easily drive away a girl if you have bad breath or dirty clothes.
* Work on building a friendship with her friends (remember that friends play a big role in who to go out with). So get on the friends' good side so they will give the girl their approval. Or, if you want to be daring, you can even tell the girl's friends that you like her, and ask them not to tell her (if they tell her, don't be alarmed—they could be saying that because said girl might like you, which is good for you).

Warnings [edit]

* If you go in for a kiss at the end of your date and she says that she is uncomfortable or that you are going too fast, then slow down. If you really like her you will respect her opinion.
* Try not to be too possessive, because most people still like their own personal space.
* The first time you see her don't ask her to have sex with you.
* Don't rush into anything. Get to know each other before starting a relationship. If another man is trying to steal her away, be protective of her -- some girls like to be defended by the guy they like.
* Don't be brutally honest. If a girl asks you if she's fat, never say yes - even if she is. Girls like you to boost up their self-esteem!
* She may end up not liking you even if you do all these things. Oh well! There are other fish in the sea!
* Don't stalk her. Keep your distance or else you'll just creep her out. You have to be at least a little mysterious.
* Don't be a jerk because girls will be reppelled by that.
* Absolutly do NOT flirt w/ other girls! thats just asking for her to not like you.

What the heck is emo anyway?

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 01:21:17 GMT

This site is intended to be a basic FAQ and primer on emo - short for "emotional." Emo is a broad title that covers a lot of different styles of emotionally-charged punk rock. This site is intended to introduce the reader to all the common styles, describe them musically, and give ideas about the essential records of all those styles. You will be an expert in emo, in the broad sense, after reading this website.

100 Things You Need to Know About Women

Thu, 31 May 2007 14:52:24 GMT

100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she’s going to outlive you.

99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s trying to keep herself in line.

98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can’t get a hard-on she assumes you’re not attracted to her.

97. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.

96. Jewelry. Now you always knkow what to get her for a last-minute gift.

95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.

94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.

93. Girls who say, “I love sports!” are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they’re talking about, are not.

92. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she’s most fertile.

91. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.

90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.

89. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.

88. “If I give you my number on Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday are your best bets to score a date. Monday is too desperate, Thursday is too late.”—Claire, 27

87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.

86. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard.

85. A recent study revealed that natural blondes could be extinct in 200 years, so unless she’s Norwegian, her towhead might be bottled.

84. Sixteen percent of American men have been with a prostitute—scientific proof most women are decent in bed.

83. Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true.

82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men.

81. The threesome is not about you; it’s about the two girls. If you’re lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there’s a good chance it’ll end the relationship.

80. If women have an excuse to take a pill, they’ll take it.

79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.

78. “I hate when my boyfriend is sweaty and tries to lie down on top of me or cuddle after I’ve come. Wait five minutes.”—Erin, 21

77. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.

76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.

75. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.

74. “Girls who buy their men lap dances and pretend to enjoy it are kidding themselves. They’re trying to keep him happy with some controlled freedom.”—Suzy, 31

73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.

72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice.

71. “Women grow hairs in a lot of the same places that men do—lower abdomen, nipples—we just get rid of them.”—Katie, 26

70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians.

69. If you have something to hide, she’ll find it.

68. Eighty-five: The number of males per 100 females in Gary, Indiana, lowest male-to-female ratio of any city with a population of 100,000-plus. The highest male-to-female ratio is in Salinas, California: 114 males for every 100 females.

67. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you’ll be “friended.”

66. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.

65. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.

64. An online dating service’s survey found that a woman’s ideal man has brown hair and blue eyes.

63. In the U.S., 21 percent of women ages 18 to 59 hold out for their honeymoon.

62. A British study claims a woman’s chances of getting married drop by 40 percent for every 16-point rise in her IQ. The same increase in IQ for a man boosted his chances of getting married by 35 percent.

61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.

60. Women often cite manhandling of breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas.

59. “When I’m drunk, I can’t come. Not even with a vibrator.”—Lauren, 35

58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29.

57. Most women think they’re better drivers than they are. Don’t point this out while she’s at the wheel or she’ll freak and crash.

56. Women ingest about half the lipstick they apply, which means they eat approximately one to three sticks per year.

54. A woman might say she just wants sex, but sleep with her for a while and she’ll change her tune. “I’ve known so many women who think they can pull this off, but they always develop feelings for the guy,” says Evie, 22.

53. According to the American Association of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, Angelina Jolie’s lips were the most requested celebrity feature among all female patients in 2004.

52. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.

51. Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as “not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “Fucking awesome,” only if she’s at least slightly buzzed.

50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.

49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal.

48. Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.

47. According to the U.S. Bureau of Statistics, 23 percent of 18- to 34-year-old women live with their parents, versus 31 percent of you losers.

46. Women want to talk dirty, but they’re afraid you won’t respect them in the morning. Reassure her that letting go in bed doesn’t make her less classy and she’ll probably go wild. Jäger helps.

45. Twenty-three percent of this magazine’s readers are women.

44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man—including anal.

41. If she suddenly cuts her hair short, it might mean she no longer cares what you think of her. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about someone else’s opinion.

40. About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.

39. It never hurts to say you're sorry, even if you don't mean it.

38. Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess, Ping-Pong—and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet.

37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.

36. “At one point or another, I’ve gone through your things looking for any evidence from past relationships. I’m talking photographs, postcards, mementos, address books, diaries. If you don’t like it, get rid of this stuff before letting me in your apartment. It’s not about trust; it’s about curiosity, and it drives us crazy till it’s been satiated.”—Caroline, 28

35. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds.

34. Chick rock strikes a deeply primal chord inside women while simultaneously revolting men. Just sit back and let her sing the Sarah McLachlan or Ani DiFranco song. It’s only about four minutes long.

33. The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing. Shasta!

32. Girls will not sit on any toilet outside their own home or a five-star hotel. Everywhere else they’re hovering above the toilet in a squat.

31. Got a new girl coming over? Your (tidy) bathroom should include clean linen, a box of Puffs Plus, and several full rolls of TP.

30. “Don’t caress our faces while we’re kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.”—Rachel, 21

29. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.

28. Breast augmentation surgery has grown by 257 percent since 1997. The most popular size? C-cup. As if you didn’t know.

27. Gain her trust when you’re out by calling her at 10 P.M. She’ll go to bed content you’re thinking of her, even if you’re slurping Jell-O shots off some skank’s cleavage.

26. Put down the Drakkar and grab a box of Good & Plenty. Women are turned on by the scent of black licorice.

25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.

24. A good but flawed man is a fixer-upper gem, and women love nothing more than home improvements.

23. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you’ll see it more often.

22. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

21. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.

20. All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.

19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.

18. Once in a while, let her pick the movie and don't complain about it.

17. Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.

16. Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.

15. Girls don’t want to date doormats. So make her proud and refuse to give up bowling night with the guys.

14. Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see—she'll just want to leave early.

13. “Women appreciate a big penis, but having one doesn’t give you an excuse to suck at foreplay.”—Elena, 28

12. Studies show women are more attracted to “macho” guys near ovulation. The rest of the month, they’re drawn to “good providers,” otherwise known as chumps.

11. She likes one of your friends.

10. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.

9. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.

8. Sixty percent of women in the United States color their hair, according to L’Oréal (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 40 percent).

7. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.

6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.)

5. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.

4. Foghat’s “Slow Ride” is not about a trip in the car. Get the hint?

3. The one breakup line she’ll never be able to argue you out of: “I’m sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you.”

2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.

1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.

how to find out if your girl friend is a keeper?

Thu, 31 May 2007 14:51:02 GMT

She’s hot. She’s fun. And believe it or not, she actually likes you. While logic should show that these facts alone are enough to qualify as evidence she’s right for you, here are a few signs that cement the fact that she’s a keeper:

She makes the first move. While women that play the demure card 24/7 simply think they’re being feminine, they neglect to see that sometimes, they’re just being frustrating. If your girl is confident enough to call you for plans or start pawing at your chest for sex, you’re less likely to grow tired of always being the initiator and more aligned to some impromptu dinner dates and quickie trysts.

She has her own friends. Every girl should have her own set of friends, but what’s even better is if she doesn’t insist on making them yours, too. Sure, you might be expected to stop by for an occasional after-work drink with her co-workers, but if your girlfriend’s cool, she won’t insist you become an honorary member of her Thursday night Cosmopolitan crew.

She tells you what’s on her mind. If this bit of dialogue sounds all too familiar—“What’s wrong?” “Nothing…”—you’re bound to repeat it until something actually is wrong, i.e., you’re breaking up. On the other hand, if your girlfriend is upfront about what’s bothering her—even if it’s more often than you’d like—you can count on a more honest and ironically, a more easy-going relationship.

She reads books, not just gossip rags. A woman who reads is obviously inquisitive, and her desire to relate to something larger than her low-carb diet or what earth-shattering news is revealed in this week’s Us Weekly sets her apart from a lot of other equally pretty girls. If her bookshelves are stocked with heavy, rectangular objects, take it as a good indicator that your interest in her will last longer than the average celebrity marriage.

She keeps in touch with her family. While she might be looking forward to a long-term relationship with you, a girl who stays connected with her past is someone that’s typically pretty grounded. This takes some pressure off you and sets up a great foundation for the future with her.

Want to know more about women?

Allison Stokke Speaks (Video Link); Plus, More Thoughts About Her, the Internet and Blogs...

Thu, 31 May 2007 11:08:07 GMT

This week, Allison Stokke became the subject of unwanted attention, as With Leather, the Washington Post, numerous other blogs, My Space, Facebook, and forums made her a celebrity.

It’s crazy who this whole story has blown up. Some of us agree the posting of Ms. Stokke on With Leather was in bad taste, while some agree its okay for anyone to be posted online and to have lewd comments typed about her. Furthermore, some people rant and rave about her beauty and her physical assets.

The fellow who runs With Leather seems to be soaking it up – hey, it got traffic to his blog; nevertheless, at what price?

However, it looks like some restraint and perhaps moral compass is being shown, as her fan site had her pictures removed voluntarily by the administrator. In light of the news, her pictures can be easily (and I mean easily) be found the web and throughout the internet from competitions, with her friends, family, in dull moments, and as well just doing things what everyone else does.

As much as you can find of her, or anyone online, it is quite scary and disturbing.

Today, she spoke out about the whole controversy.

Here is the link on a Los Angeles CBS affiliate: http://cbs2.com/topstories/local_story_151005135.html

While, I don’t think it is a good idea for her to have spoken out, and the family to have consented with the Washington Post for an interview, I think it needed to warn people about the dangers and pitfalls of the internet.

It will be determined whether she wants to parlay this into something else, but for the most part, we all need to lay off her and the Stokke family.

Unlike the Paris Hiltons, the Lindsay Lohans and Britney Spears who flaunt their sexuality for the world to see, Ms. Stokke has not asked for any of the fame she has recently gotten, and from the looks of it does not want it either.

Furthermore, she’s a kid (not to demean her, but that is what she is). If she we 23, 30, 40, the whole context would be much different, but this is just a vulnerable teenager now in the public of the world.

The internet is a vast, vapid place, and while it could be used for good; however, the additive of ‘sex sells’ is a big business on the internet and she seems to have been caught up with it.
It's two days later, and people are still talking about it...

Last TV Interview: Allison Stokke Speaks Out

Thu, 31 May 2007 11:01:48 GMT

One of the nation's best prep athletes, Newport Beach pole-vaulter Allison Stokke, has a following on and off the track.

The 18-year-old Newport Harbor High School student is No. 2 in the state and plans to vault for UC Berkeley next year. In her last televised interview, Stokke talks to CBS 2 and KCAL 9 about the sport, her family and her newfound and unwanted Internet fame.

Lindsay’s father sees ’blessing’ in DUI bust

Tue, 29 May 2007 17:19:38 GMT

Lindsay Lohan is getting advice from an unlikely source in the wake of her Memorial Day weekend DUI charge and drug bust, reports the New York Daily News.
La-Lohan’s just-out-of jail dad, Michael Lohan rang into the paper to tell them his 20-year-old daughter’s Saturday morning car crash, which resulted in a DUI charge and - according to cops - turned up a “usable amount of cocaine” in connection to the accident, “could be a blessing.”
“This could be the sign that gets her the help she needs,” said papa Lohan, who recently served jail time for a 2005 DUI and assault conviction.

The “Mean Girls” star’s relationship with her father has been strained since his 2005 conviction and Lohan admitted he hadn’t seen his wildchild since he and his ex-wife, Dina Lohan, divorced 2 1/2years ago.
The “Georgia Rule” actress has been candid with the press concerning her struggle with alcohol and voluntarily checked herself into Wonderland rehab center earlier this year to get treatment.
However, her father doesn’t think a month-long stint in rehab is enough to help his daughter. He said she needs to start cutting out the celebrity hangers-on in her life and spend more time with people that genuinely care about her - like him.
“I believe the people my daughter is hanging around with are the wrong people,” said Lohan, who lives in Long Island, N.Y., and has been working as a counselor for Teen Challenge, a program for youths with substance-abuse problems.
“Lindsay has to find hope in God and put her family first, not listen to what other people say, and listen to her heart,” he said.
“I want her to know her Daddy is here for her,” he continued.
Lohan has been charged with a misdemeanor - though there is potential for additional charges - and a tentative arraignment date has been set for Aug. 24, according to authorities.

Weight gain for naturally skinny people in 1934: Skinny Girls

Sun, 27 May 2007 10:21:30 GMT

Girls with “Naturally Skinny” Figures …AMAZED AT THIS ENTIRELY NEW WAY TO ADD 5 LBS. OF SOLID FLESH IN 1 WEEK…OR NO COST!

New Natural Mineral Concentrate From the Sea, Rich in FOOD IODINE, Building Up Weak, Rundown Men and Women Everywhere.

THOUSANDS of thin, pale, rundown folks—and even “Naturally Skinny” men and women—are amazed at this new, easy way to put on healthy needed pounds quickly. Gains of 15 to 20 lbs. in one month—5 lbs. in one week—are reported regularly.

Kelp-a-Malt, the new mineral concentrate from the sea—gets right down to the cause of thin, underweight conditions and adds weight through a “3 ways in one” natural process.

First, its rich supply of easily assimilable minerals nourish the digestive glands, which produce the juices that alone enable you to digest the fats and starches, the weight-making elements in your daily diet. Second, Kelp-a-Malt provides an amazingly effective digestive substance which actually digests 4 times its own weight of the flesh-building foods you eat. Third, Kelp-a-Malt’s natural FOOD IODINE stimulates and nourishes the internal glands which control assimilation—the process of converting digested food into firm flesh, new strength and energy. Three Kelp-a-Malt tablets contain more iron and copper than a pound of spinach or 7-1/2 lbs. of fresh tomatoes; more calcium than 6 eggs; more phosphorous than 1-1/2 lbs. carrots; more FOOD IODINE than 1600 lbs. of beef.

Try Kelp-a-Malt for a single week and notice the difference—how much better you sleep, how firm flesh appears in place of scrawny hollows” and the new energy and strength it brings you! Prescribed and used by physicians, Kelp-a-Malt is fine for children, too — improves their appetities. Remember the name, Kelp-a-Malt, the original and genuine kelp and malt tablets. There is nothing else like them, so don’t accept imitations and substitutes. Try Kelp-a-Malt today, and if you don’t gain at least 5 lbs. of good, firm flesh in 1 week, the trial is free. 100 jumbo size tablets, 4 to 5 times the size of ordinary tablets, cost but little. Sold at all good drug, stores. If your dealer has not yet received his supply, send $1.00 for special introductory size bottle of 65 tablets to address below.

KELP-A-MALT

10 reasons why PIRATES actually kicks ass

Sun, 27 May 2007 10:19:29 GMT

As we near the end of the month, the endings to three of Hollywood's biggest modern megafranchises have come to pass. First was Spiderman 3, and let's be honest, it kinda sucked. (Sorry Toby, but you ain't Johnny Depp. You're a good actor, but that doesn't mean you can pull off "cool". Don't you EVER try pulling off goofy stuff like those venom suit scenes again.) Then came Shrek the Third, which sucked slightly less, or at least, had fewer scenes that had me crying in tears of pain, fear, and disappointment. (In all seriousness, the "venom suit" scenes in Spiderman may've seriously damaged my psyche.)

Yeah, you know where this is going. Because the Rottentomatoes score is kind of... well, disappointing, to say the least. And there's only so much Johnny Depp can do to hold the bloat afloat. And hey, it's a Bruckheimer/Disney movie. Of course they're going to whore the franchise out. Or... maybe not. Because I have a surprise.

Guess what?

Pirates doesn't suck. In fact, it's actually pretty sick, in a good way.

Yes, Pirates is lumbering, and effects laden, and may be full of hack writing and ridiculously convoluted plot conventions. But don't forget, that's what made the first Pirates so balls out entertaining and fresh. The perfect blend of popcorn fun, and the rewardingly brainbusting plottwists that probably initially had studio execs crying tears of frustration. Then again, we're talking the same execs who greenlighted a movie based on an amusement park ride. Which I would've vetoed. What do I know? (By the way Gore, if you're reading this, how the hell did you get those guys to swallow this up? "Hey look, guys, I wouldn't worry, the Nasca demographics will have fun too, even if they don't quite get everything"?)

Pirates 2 had the formula slightly off, though I will say, after watching 3, I'm willing to forgive 2 for a lot of things.

Yeah, so anyway. To sum it up, it's pitch-perfect popcorn fun. Look, even I still don't believe it. So to convince myself that I'm not high off of Bruckheimer's CGI fumes, I worked on a list. Here are ten reasons why Pirates 3 actually kicked ass:

Disclaimer: Spoilers ahoy.

Geoffrey Rush1. Geoffrey Rush: The best part of the trailer to this movie is when Captain Barbosa is cackling as his ship careens off the end of the world. How ridiculously badass is that? Please, give this guy an Oscar. And Geoff, if that Oscar doesn't work out for you, I give you the Phill Ryu Award for "Most Badass Portrayal of a Pirate Ever" award. Congrats. (By the way, it was totally sweet how you stole Pirates 2 with about two seconds of screen-time. Thanks for popping in at the end and making us all realize how much Pirates 2 kinda blew without you.)

2. Being Jack Sparrow: One of the most hilariously inspired scenes in movie history is in Being John Malkovich, when John enters his own mind. Ok, so imagine that scene, but with Jack Sparrow. Tons of them, babbling at each other, arguing, shooting each other in the face. Ludicrous, hilarious, and pure awesome, bottled down in its natural form. Yes, it's Johnny Depp metaphorically jacking off, but you can't blame him, I mean, hey, who doesn't love Jack Sparrow and his rum problem. Pirates 3, particularly said scene, begs the question, can you really have too much of Jack Sparrow? (The answer, of course, is no.)

Davy Jones3. The Tell-Tale Heart: Davy Jones... where to begin? Let's forget about the state of the art CGi for a second, and ignore that pretty, tentacled face. We find Davy Jones with his heart held hostage (literally) in Pirates 3 to the evil East Indian Trading Company, having been forced to kill his beloved pet, the Kraken. And it only gets more complicated from there. But by the end, Davy Jones is one of the most sympathetic characters ever displayed on screen in a popcorn flick, with MUCH more depth than a blockbuster movie villain deserves. I'm talking Darth Vader depth. (Speaking of which, watch out for that slimy India Trading Company dude, Lord Beckett, just when you think he couldn't get slimy enough.... he redeems himself. And it's awesome.) By the way, Davy Jones also gets possibly the single most badass scene in the movie. You won't be believing it as it happens, second by second. You'll be shitting yourself. I won't ruin it for you. (However, I will say, if you're all icky about squids, prepare to be traumatized.) And as sick as it may sound, man am I craving some calamari right now.

4. Backstabbing and plot twists by the barrel. You savvy?: There's so much backstabbing here, and so many unexpected twists and turns, that it honestly, at times, gets overwhelming. And this is probably the most common claim leveraged against the movie by its critics. But don't get your panties in a bunch like them (who, by the way, I generally agree with, at least about Shrek and Spiderman). However, that having been said, believe it or not, the twists and turns do work out. (Mostly.) I've seen the movie twice, and it does make sense, a lot more sense, the second time around. And, you know what? I enjoy movies that require a second viewing, books that I pick up again right after finishing the last page. I wish I could watch the movie again with my memory erased, fresh experience, because the twists and turns had me at the edge of my seat for nearly three hours. Remember the climactic back and forth plot hilarity in the first movie involving the title curse? Remember how those sort of hijinks SHOULD'VE happened but didn't in Pirates 2, with Davy Jones' curse and the Kraken? It happens in spades here, and boy is it fun.

5. More pirates: And that's totally a good thing. Because, remember the golden rule of yarr (which, admittedly, I just made up): More pirates equals more badassery. Chow Yun Fat is incredibly badass as an Asian pirate lord, but honestly, the number of badass pirates in this movie approaches a point that I can only describe as ludicrous. And believe it or not, no, Chow Yun Fat is NOT the most badass of the new pirates, even though Chow Yun Fat IS the most badass Asian currently in existence. Chew on that for a bit. The crown for the most badass new pirate goes to...

Chow Yun Fat Kicks Ass

6. Keith Richards as Jack Sparrow's dad: 'nuf said.

7. The Pirates universe: What other movie could possibly dare to feature monkeys in rice farmer hats setting off fireworks in a pirate den in Singapore, pirate warlords from the corners of the earth banding together under the pirate's code, the visual spectacle of the giant, rotting corpse of the Kraken, and Barbosa cackling as the Black Pearl plunges over the end of the world, meanwhile making gazillions of dollars at the box office and jumpstarting the careers of dozens of Johnny Depp impersonators? What a perfect mix of ridiculousness, fantasy, badasses, and humor. See, one reason why this all works, is because it doesn't take itself too seriously. Which brings me to point.

8. Humor: It's still there. Blink, and jokes will fly by, visual or verbal. The humor is often hilarious, and pretty much almost always on mark. I can't think of a really painfully bad joke in there.

9. CGI set pieces: I mean, obviously they've gotta be there. Here's how Jerry Bruckheimer might've proposed one of the movie's big fights.

"I want a fight with hundreds of badass pirate ships firing on and boarding each other. I want Davy Jones and Jack Sparrow dueling it out in the middle of this fight, with Davy's CGI tentacles playing a pivotal role, and lightning striking left and right. And I want all of this going on in a giant whirlpool, that's sucking these ships up."

Cost more than the GDP of a small African country

Glad I wasn't the effects guy in charge of that.

The set pieces are sweet, and even considering my expectations on that front (very, very high), they more than deliver. Forget about Pirates 2, this is the real deal. If y.

10. An ending that doesn't suck, or drag far longer than it has any right to, just like this bullet item: Yes, it has a long ending. And yes, long endings in general suck. Hey, I loved Return of the King, but the extended ending just became painful. Only reason I was able to keep my cool while sitting through it was because Peter Jackson poured his life into it, and hey, I'll give the man 20 minutes to putz around before really finishing it off. (If it isn't clear, I thought ROTK was a pretty classy finale to an awesome trilogy.)

The good news is, Pirates ends well. Honestly, it ends gracefully. I kept alternating between "I hope this doesn't end", and "Oh sweet, I hope it ends on this sweet note" about ten times. That's a great thing, and ultimately why I left the theater glowing, sat down, and wrote this. There is rarely a better feeling than seeing such an epic quantity and range of loose ends neatly, masterfully tied.

By the way, THIS is how you end a mega franchise. Hats off Gore Verbinski, and for not dropping the ball like, um, everyone else this month. You may be a hack, but you're the best of class. The hack to end all hacks. Bravo.

PS, how hilarious is it that while this movie definitely cements Keira Knightley as our generation's "it" girl (wait until you see her in the film's last few minutes, yowza), Orlanda Bloom's potential chance for sex symbol status gets shafted by a Keith Richards impersonating Depp? Then again, I also consider Orlando Bloom to be the luckiest man in Hollywood, and possibly the luckiest man alive. Two mega franchises without acting chops? (I kid, I kid... not. Still a fan of LOTR/Pirates tho.) You and Gore should team up on another movie. And I'm not even kidding either. I'd watch it. And since I love giving out fake awards, Orlando Bloom, take honor in receiving the Phill Ryu Award for being "The Luckiest Sonofabitch Alive".

Orlando, you son of a gun.

PPS, yeah I realize I already screwed up. Say hello to reason #11 why this movie kicks ass: the soundtrack. Mad props to Hans Zimmer, definitely his best since Gladiator. Though a ton of credit goes to Klaus Badelt for the original movie soundtrack. (Who is this guy, Klaus?)

PPPS, the more I think of it, the more I realize Gore Verbinski is, in his own, hack way, a genius. Why? I came out of Pirates 2 last summer absolutely disappointed, and thinking it was sort of shit. And a lot of people agreed with me, but whatever, the movie still made bank. But now, despite what I still recognize as huge, huge flaws, I'm starting to feel an affinity for Dead Man's Chest because of this movie. Maybe it wasn't actually that bad. I'm gonna have to watch it again. Crazy. And I suppose, here I am, harping about Pirates

Eva and Joaquin Own the Night

Sun, 27 May 2007 00:57:28 GMT

As we mentioned with the photocall pics, it's so great to see Joaquin Phoenix with a smile on his face. He just lights up! Very cute, a far cry from his Walk the Line brooding. As for Eva, she glows no matter what she's wearing, but she looked especially stunning at the premiere of their movie, We Own the Night. When asked about filming her very first on screen sex scene with one Mr. Phoenix, Eva had this to say:

"I wasn't comfortable at all. They were very sweet and they poured me a vodka and orange juice and then I was fine. I'm very professional and I don't usually drink on the job but that morning I had a little vodka and OJ."...Asked if it helped to think it was her character and not her up there, Mendes said: "My boob is still my boob." She paused, then added: "Wow, that sounded really stupid."

First sex scene ever alongside Joaquin? Not a bad gig. Unfortunately Cannes is winding down, but hopefully there will be at least one more big party to bring all these beautiful folks together. Or at the very least a little more Joaquin? Is that too much to ask?

Can Jessica Alba Cut It As A Serious Actress?

Sun, 27 May 2007 00:56:26 GMT

Lately, Jessica Alba has been talking about how she wishes everyone would get over her "hotness" and start considering her seriously as an actress. Based on her past films, we haven't seen Jessica in many heavy roles but what do you think - can Jessica cut it as a serious actress?

Carl Rove's emails mistakenly sent to reporter! The Future of America Has Been Stolen

Fri, 25 May 2007 20:08:09 GMT

Investigative reporter Greg Palast says 4.5 million votes will be shoplifted in 2008, thanks largely to the “Rove-bots” that have been placed in the Justice Department following the U.S. Attorney firings. Being the guy who uncovered the voter “purge lists” of 2000 that disenfranchised black voters, he’s worth listening to, even if the mainstream press chooses not to.

This time around, he claims to have 500 emails that the House subpoenaed and Karl Rove claims were deleted forever. They prove definitively, says Palast, that the Justice Department is infested with operatives taking orders from Rove to steal upcoming elections for Republicans and permanently alter the Department.

The “clownocracy” of Bush and Rove is criminal and even evil in its attempts to steal past and future elections, according to Palast, and can only be stopped if “Democrats…find their souls and find their balls.”

In an updated new version of his best-selling book, Armed Madhouse, Palast lays out the case for the future theft of the presidency, along with lots of other Executive malfeasance. I chatted with him about the role of the Justice Department in this scheme, and what it means for the viability of our “democracy.”

PUBLISHER’S UPDATE: Here are the 500 emails! –JD

JEFF DIEHL: First off, the “lost” emails. I guess you’re confident those 500 emails aren’t themselves a hoax? Considering the source? [John Wooden, the man behind the spoof site, whitehouse.org, forwarded them on to Palast after someone accidentally sent them to Wooden’s georgewbush.org domain.]

GREG PALAST: Oddly, the GOP verified their authenticity to BBC. I almost fell over dead when they did that.

JD: How did they do that exactly?
See also…
» Awesomest Congressional Campaign Ever
» Homeland Security Follies
» John Edwards’ Virtual Attackers Unmasked
» Iraq Battle Videos
» Did Bush Spin Like Nixon?
» The Chicks Who Tried to Shoot Gerald Ford
» Is It Fascism Yet?
» Detention and Torture

GP: We asked them on camera. They did not deny they were the party’s internal emails — just disagreed what the “caging” lists were. Saying, for example, they were “donor” lists. Men in homeless shelters?

Remember, there’s no First Amendment in England. I’m wrong, I’m sued, I’m broke, I’m toast.

JD: Let’s move on to former Justice Department counsel (and Regent University graduate) Monica Goodling’s recent testimony in front of the House Judiciary Committee, since it’s so fresh…

GP: The blondeling underling of the Police State. The lady was trying to tell us something important, but the dim bulbs of the U.S. press and the committee dolts wouldn’t listen. She began by accusing her bosses of perjury. The issue was her allegation that they knew all about “caging.” And no one asked her one damn question about it. Like what is “caging” and why would they commit perjury to cover it up?

JD: Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-CA) asked, and Goodling said, “It has to do with direct mail.”

GP: And that was it. D’oh! It’s not about “direct mail.” Direct mail has to do with Victoria’s Secret and stuff like that. This was all about stealing the 2004 — and 2008 — elections. That’s why she wanted immunity. She was afraid it would all unravel, the caging game…but she had nothing to fear.

JD: Well, it is a direct mail term, but it’s also a voter supression term. Do no senators know that, not even Committee Chair John Conyers?

GP: Conyers knows — and he knows me. He’s keeping his powder dry. The others are clueless.

Caging works like this. Hundreds of thousands of Black and Hispanic voters were sent letters — do not forward. Letters returned as undeliverable (”caged”) were used as evidence the voter didn’t live at their registered address. The GOP goons challenged these voters’ right to cast ballots — and their votes were lost.

But whose letters were caged? Here’s where the game turns to deep evil. They targeted Black students on vacation, homeless men — and you’ll love this — Black soldiers sent overseas. They weren’t living at their home voting address because they were shivering under a Humvee in Falluja.

JD: As you put it in regard to election rigging, 2000 was about “purge lists,” 2004 was about “caging,” and 2008 will be about “verification.” Can you briefly explain the difference between these?

GP: Sure. In 2000, I cracked the computer disks (CD-ROMs then) from Katherine Harris’ office showing 56,000 names of voters “purged” from voter rolls as felons who aren’t allowed to vote. In fact, every one — every one — was an innocent voter, though most were guilty of VWB — Voting While Black. That was the 2000 “purge.”

In 2004, it was nearly identical. Except, instead of calling voters “felons,” they called them “suspect” voters, fraudulently using a false voting address. The effect was the same: the voter would lose their registration; or their vote on election day when they showed to vote; or, in the case of soldiers, their absentee ballot would be challenged and tossed.

JD: You claim the reason for Democrat inaction in election scandals is because of racism, that the white caucus is bigger than the black caucus. But don’t Democrats gain by making sure black people are enfranchised?

GP: Which Democrats? The huge purge and block of voters in Georgia [were done by] reptiles like Zell Miller in control of the Georgia Democratic Party. There’s an awful lot of Democrats who would not win primaries if dark-skinned citizens could just vote any time they pleased.

JD: My mind goes back to Conyers. What did you mean earlier by “keeping his powder dry?”

GP: We talk. ‘Nuff said.

JD: Fair enough. So you’re working also with former U.S. Attorney for New Mexico, David Iglesias, yes?

GP: Claro que si.

JD: I was watching Chris Matthews’ TV show — “Softball,” as you’ve called it — and he asked Iglesias what his long term plans were — if he was writing a book. Iglesias indicated that he was, and also, that he wanted a TV show similar to Matthews’ at some point, and seemed to be totally serious. Given that Iglesias has been willing to go “along with the game” in the past, are you concerned that his recent turn might be motivated by opportunism?

GP: I don’t care if he’s motivated by a love of Barbie dolls. He’s been pushed by the Rove-bots to expose the game. I’ll take it anyway I can get it — the facts, ma’am.

JD: Do you have a wide-angle view of the current Administration’s strategy with the Justice Department, and if so, give us the summary. Is it about election theft, or is it mostly about stocking the lake for future conservative judge appointments?

GP: Yes. First, it’s elections. They don’t want the voters making any foolish choices. Specifically, while the attention’s been focused 100% on the firings, no one is talking about the hirings. That’s what Goodling was trying to get across.

The key: at the “Pearl Harbor Day Massacre,” they replaced the prosecutors with Rove-bots, a sleeper cell of anti-Constitutional saboteurs who will explode in 2008, led by the new prosecutor for Arkansas, Tim Griffin.

JD: Talk a little bit about the relevance of Tim Griffin — the perp who became prosecutor — and Arkansas in 2008.

GP: It was Griffin who directed the “caging” ops for the GOP. Caging, by the way, is illegal. Law Professor Bobby Kennedy pointed out it violates the Voting Rights Act of 1965 — and I’d add, as a former racketeering investigator, mail fraud statutes. So Griffin’s a felon — now U.S. Attorney.

JD: Is Kennedy still actively publicizing this?

GP: Yes. The incriminating email is reproduced right in Armed Madhouse. That’s why Griffin and Goodling were high-fiving over the fact that no one’s picked up the investigations of that “British reporter” Palast.

The key thing is, Griffin is not just “involved,” he is directing the scheme. His denial was confidential — had to be subpoenaed. Remember, as Goodling testified, the line of the Bushies is that Griffin had nothing to do with caging.

JD: So is Congress eventually going to get to all this? Is that the end game with the Justice Department investigation?

GP: No, Congress won’t do squat. Did anyone do anything about the felon purge? It went backwards: Bush signed the Help America Vote Act. God forbid.

Financial Panic Grips Iran - Banks lose most of share value overnight...

Fri, 25 May 2007 20:06:12 GMT

Iran's financial system suffered a fresh jolt yesterday with panic selling on the stock market after the president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, abruptly ordered banks to cut interest rates sharply, despite surging inflation.

The order, which Mr Ahmadinejad issued by telephone during a visit to Belarus and which flew in the face of expert advice - has triggered warnings of a financial crisis and spiralling corruption amid fears of a capital flight from the country's lending institutions.

Article continues
Mr Ahmadinejad's decree forced all state-owned and private banks to slash borrowing rates to 12%. Inflation is officially 15% but is generally believed to be much higher. State banks had been offering rates of 14%, while those in the private sector ranged from 17% to 28%.

The decision caused panic in the Tehran stock exchange, with private banks losing much of their share value overnight. Shareholders in one bank, Karafarin, queued on Wednesday to sell their stock when previously there had been 1.2 million applicants to buy its shares.

There was speculation yesterday that the move could force the resignation of the economy minister, Davoud Danesh-Ja'afari, who was not consulted.

Interest rates are normally set by the head of the central bank, who is nominally politically independent. The Hammihan newspaper carried a picture of a disconsolate-looking Mr Danesh-Ja'afari holding his head in his hand under the headline: Shock on the Tehran bourse.

The rate cut was imposed at the same time as Mr Ahmadinejad raised the price of petrol by 1p to 5p a litre. That caused anger among motorists, who expected a new rationing system to be introduced on Tuesday. The government has postponed rationing until next month, citing difficulties in introducing the necessary technology to filling stations.

The interest rate move theoretically helps the less-well-off, for whom Mr Ahmadinejad has pledged support with cheaper loans. But economists say cutting rates below inflation will scare investors into withdrawing their savings, thereby creating a black market in high interest loans. They also warn of higher inflation as investors redirect their money into property and push up house prices.

"Mr Ahmadinejad's argument is that the lower the interest rate, the more access people will have to money," said one analyst. "But you can't command interest rates down. They have to match inflation. To cut rates, the government has to balance its budget better."

Another economist, Saeed Leylaz, claimed the move was a reward to powerful groups who had supported Mr Ahmadinejad. "I believe the president knows the consequence of this decision but he doesn't care about the future."

"There are groups which helped put Mr Ahmadinejad into office and in my opinion, he is paying them back. In the last two years, the value of (outstanding) debts has reached US$11bn, compared with $3.5bn in the previous 100 years. Mr Ahmadinejad ordered the banks to pay these accelerated loans to the special groups. If you cut interest rates, it means they have less to pay back. You can imagine how disastrous this is to the banking system."

adfreak: Someone get this poor girl a Smosh T-shirt

Fri, 25 May 2007 17:59:38 GMT

Cynical me wondered if this was some sort of viral campaign for Smosh.com, but no, it’s just a slice of user-generated awesomeness. Apparently, this young lady wanted a Smosh T-shirt, but the site wasn’t sure exactly where her home country was. The result is a two-part rant (part one, part two) that’s often as hilarious as it is incomprehensible. I think the Czech Republic should use her for an international awareness campaign. She already has a good slogan with, “Who is better, George Bush or Jaromir Jagr?”

Sayid Hates the Lost ISLAND - The People With Whom I Am Stuck On This Island - My Biggest Complaint

Fri, 25 May 2007 09:21:01 GMT

Have you ever had a good plan go bad?

I’ve had what seems like a million good plans go bad since I’ve been on this island with these idiots. I don’t know how to explain it, but every time I have a great plan, somebody else screws it up.

I’ll give you an example, OK?

So, I give my two friends a gun and I say “Shoot that dynamite over there.” My one friend who is a dentist had a rifle so he was able to shoot the dynamite on the first shot and blew the whole thing up rather well. However, my Korean friend had a pistol and could not hit the explosives from about 20 meters away.

My Korean friend totally screwed up my plan to blow up the dynamite and because of this, we get captured.

And then my dentist friend . . . well let’s just say he wouldn’t have lasted 10 seconds if I were torturing him. I mean all you have to do with this guy is threaten to kill one of his friends and he will go all “blabbity-blabbity” on you. This was the first thing we used to do in the Republican Guard with guys like this because it usually works, but I thought he was tougher than that. I kept telling him “Shut up, be quiet!” and my Korean friend who they were going to kill was ready to die with honor, but the dentist - he just tells everything to our captors instantly.

This is just one of the many examples of the complete incompetence with which I am surrounded here on this island.

I’m over it and I can’t keep my silence any longer.

IMPOSTER CAUGHT azia kim fakes being a stanford student for one year

Fri, 25 May 2007 01:32:37 GMT

Azia Kim was like any other Stanford freshman. She graduated from one of California’s most competitive high schools last June, moved into the dorms during New Student Orientation, talked about upcoming tests and spent her free time with friends.

Azia Kim allegedly climbed through this first-floor window in Okada to sleep during spring quarter. The 18-year-old was evicted after her ruse was uncovered Monday night.
Daniel Novinson

Azia Kim allegedly climbed through this first-floor window in Okada to sleep during spring quarter. The 18-year-old was evicted after her ruse was uncovered Monday night.

The only problem is that Azia Kim was never a Stanford student.

Kim, an 18-year-old from Orange County who graduated from Fullerton’s Troy High School, lived in Kimball throughout fall and winter quarter. She lived in Okada, the Asian-American theme dorm, until Monday night, when University staff finally caught onto her ruse.

Friends aren’t sure of her motive for sneaking onto campus and living a lie, but many speculate that she felt pressure from overbearing parents to attend Stanford — regardless of whether she was admitted.

What Kim’s friends do know is that they are scared and angry that someone slipped through the cracks for eight months.

“Personally, I don’t feel safe now that Stanford allowed this to happen and that they’re not doing anything to ensure the safety of their students,” said Amy Zhou ‘08, Kim’s roommate in Okada. “I think something’s definitely wrong with the system if this could happen.”

Kim declined comment for this story, unless the newspaper agreed to withhold her name. She suggested, but then declined, postponing publication one day in exchange for speaking on the record.

Kim started her con on Sept. 18, 2006, the day before New Student Orientation began. She told Kimball roommates Jenssy Rojina ‘09 and Missy Penna ‘09, a star softball pitcher, that she was a freshman who was temporarily out of housing due to a technical mixup, according to Zhou.

Rojina and Penna, who both declined comment, believed Kim’s story and let her sleep in their room. Kim apparently told Rojina that she moved into Kimball because she disliked her assigned roommate. Kim squatted in the 210-resident dorm — splitting her time between her “room” and the Kimball lounge — for the majority of fall and winter quarter.

“‘I ate with this girl, I went to San Francisco with this girl, she was like my sister’ — that’s what Rojina said to me,” said a friend of Rojina’s. “She told me that [Kim] crashed there every night.”

But come spring quarter, Kim’s welcome in Kimball was wearing thin, so she set out to find a new room. Okada resident Jennifer Lee ‘08 told her that Zhou’s roommate was going to Japan for the quarter, creating a vacancy in the one-room double.

“I remember she came to my room because the door was open and she was asking if anyone wanted a roommate,” said Lee, Okada’s ethnic theme associate. “She seemed like a pretty typical Stanford student, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. Not really suspecting anything, I just told her the rooms that were available.”

Kim moved into Okada 108 on Apr. 18. She told student staff that Stanford Housing had approved her transfer from Roble because she had more friends on East Campus.

“At RA training, this will be one of those stories that you would never expect to happen,” said a resident assistant who lived with Kim. “It’s kind of impressive, how she was able to figure everything out and trick so many people.”

Still, Kim had neither a Stanford ID nor a key, forcing her to sneak into meals and enter her room through its window, which overlooked the Munger construction pit, the Wilbur parking lot and a dumpster, three feet off the ground. Zhou never noticed, as she spent nearly all her nights in her boyfriend’s room.

“She took off the screen and always left one of the windows wide open and the blinds up,” Zhou said. “I just guessed she always wanted a breezy room.”

To avoid suspicion while in Okada, Kim pretended to be a sophomore majoring in human biology, going as far as to buy textbooks and study with friends for tests she would never take. Residents of the 94-person dorm were none the wiser.

“She really knew her stuff, and really knew the schedule,” Zhou said. “For HumBio, she would say, ‘I have a midterm Monday in this room,’ and I knew that was true because my friends are HumBio [students].”

Last Sunday, Okada RA Soo Kim ‘08 triggered the beginning of the end at the weekly staff meeting. An Otero RA told her that Azia Kim had claimed to live in Otero. Soo Kim was suspicious and emailed Housing on Monday. Only then — eight months after Azia Kim first moved into Kimball — did the authorities finally realize what had happened.

“It’s kind of crazy that it was under our radar for so long,” said Soo Kim. “I couldn’t even imagine a squatter situation. That was never anything that I was conscious of.”

It took Zhou even longer to find out the truth — she said that Azia Kim broke into her email account and permanently deleted emails from Housing that explained the situation. Kim even replied to Housing, imitating her roommate in an email that Zhou provided The Daily:

“Hey Edith,

Actually, Azia doesn’t stay here permanently, she just stays occasionally when she stays late. Sorry, I apologize for any confusions.

Amy”

Azia Kim pretended to move out early Monday evening, removing every visible object save for a light or two.

But Zhou soon discovered that Kim had simply hidden her clothes in the closet. The RAs confiscated Kim’s possessions and posted a terse notice on the door. A cab eventually took Kim to an uncle’s San Jose house at 2 a.m. Tuesday morning.

Zhou is not taking any chances though: She’s ordered Housing to install a chain on her window.

“To think that someone I trusted to be a Stanford student with a key was climbing in and out of windows and that I was in the same room all this time really freaked me out,” Zhou said.

Police are currently investigating the situation. They could press trespassing or theft of services charges — Stanford Housing charges unauthorized visitors $175 daily, bringing Kim’s eight-month liability up to $42,000.

But after filing a report with the Department of Public Safety, Zhou doesn’t think much will be done.

“The police just said, ‘If we see her on campus, we’ll evict her,’ and say, ‘Don’t do anything anymore,’” Zhou said. “Even after hacking into my email account, they said there’s nothing they can do unless she was using it to fraud anyone. I don’t think they’re going to do anything.”

The police did not return a call seeking comment.

Residential Education officials declined to comment — typical practice for any ongoing investigation. More than 10 students were interviewed for this article; many are ResEd employees who would only speak off-the-record or on the condition of anonymity.

Neighbors and acquaintances described Kim as a quiet, tall Asian girl, unassuming at first glance.

“She was kind of shy, kind of reserved, but for someone who really isn’t affiliated with Stanford, that’s to be expected,” Okada neighbor Bo Zheng ‘08 said. “When I saw her in the hall, she wouldn’t really say ‘hi’ or anything.”

But closer friends hinted at deeper troubles underneath a sweet veneer.

“There must be something big behind this,” said Lee, “because I don’t think people behave this way for no reason. We’re hoping she gets help if she needs it.”

Intel's Think Thin Laptop

Thu, 24 May 2007 12:27:33 GMT

Behold the Razr of laptops. The thinnest notebook computer ever, this new machine created by Ziba Design and Intel, packs enough futuristic features to make a geek's head spin.

On the outside, from its no-rim screen to its groovy keyboard, the notebook is gloriously smooth and streamlined. A special accessory-a leather-like folder that wraps around the laptop and attaches with magnets-serves as a wireless charger and an external screen that lets users check e-mail without opening the computer. Add a strap, and the whole thing turns into a bag that can be adorned with a favorite picture on the screen.

Inside, meanwhile, there's built-in wireless compatibility with WiMax, a speedier, longer-range cousin of Wi-Fi that's just starting to reach the market.

This is thin. Using flash memory in place of the standard hard-disk drive, Ziba and Intel have managed to make this laptop just 0.7 inches thick. The use of flash resulted in a side benefit: the laptop consumes less power and offers up to 14 hours of battery life. At 2.25 pounds, it's also among the lightest notebooks around.

When Intel asked designers to build a better laptop, its instructions were simple, really. The machine has to be fashionable, able to connect to all manner of wireless networks, and full of the latest, fastest computing capabilities. Oh yes, and make it as thin as Motorola's Razr. Its own engineers in conjunction with Ziba Design in Portland, Ore., rose to the challenge.

The result, code-named Intel mobile Metro notebook, is less than 0.7 inches thick—about one-quarter of an inch thicker than Motorola's (MOT) iconic cell phone, making it the world's thinnest notebook. And at 2.25 pounds, it's also one of the lightest small-sized portable computers. Other features include always-on Internet connectivity via various wireless technologies.

And unlike other computer prototypes, including some from Intel, this one actually may line the shelves of a retailer before long. Intel hasn't announced an official release date but people familiar with the matter say a PC maker will announce plans to start manufacturing the machine later this year.
Thin Notebooks, Fat Margins

The laptop—the only notebook design expected to come out of Intel (INTC) this year—was first showcased at an Intel Developer Forum in Beijing in April, but designers gave BusinessWeek.com an exclusive, up-close look at the technology and ideas behind the project. If manufactured and sold on a wide scale, the creation could have a lasting impact on computer design, use, and marketing.

That, in turn, would be good news for chipmaking colossus Intel, which has seen sales slump amid a price war with archrival Advanced Micro Devices (AMD). Plus, it's keen to rev up demand for the computers running on its processors. The device might rely on Intel chips not just for computing but also for memory and connecting to wireless networks. The prototype also incorporates technologies developed by companies financed by Intel Capital, the chipmaker's venture capital arm.

Intel would especially like to see higher sales of portable computers, particularly fatter-margin devices at the high end of the market. Sales of laptops priced at $2,000 and above are rising 1.4% a year, compared with 73.5% for notebooks priced $500 to $999, according to researcher IDC (IDC). That's in part because sales of PCs to corporations, often the biggest buyers of high-end laptops, are slowing.
"Like Jewelry"

Consumers, as a result, are a big driver for sales. And more than ever, consumer-buying choices are influenced not just by function, but form. At the same time, many PC makers have given short shrift to design in hopes of keeping costs at a minimum.

That's where Intel, with Ziba, hope to make their mark. "Intel wants to stimulate the conversation," says Roger Kay, president of consultancy Endpoint Technologies Associates. Besides making the machine thin, they're also using materials aimed to communicate high quality and coolness. Made of champagne-colored magnesium, the laptop is decorated with subtle gold accents.

"It's like jewelry," says Omer Kotzer, a creative director at Ziba, a firm renowned for consumer-electronics design (see BusinessWeek.com, 10/11/05, "Sirius Radio's Radical Handheld").

And like cell phones, which come with different ringtones and in different colors, this laptop also strives to be a personal fashion accessory. The computer comes with a diary-like folder that attaches to the laptop via magnets. The folder, available in different colors, also functions as a wireless charger for the device. One side features a screen made of material devised by E Ink, one of the recipients of investment by Intel Capital. It can display a picture, the calendar, or your schedule for the day.

"It was inspired by traditional stationary," Kotzer says. "It ties back to premium stationary that used to be bound in beautiful leather." A special shoulder strap, matching the folder in material and color, can be attached to the laptop, turning the computer into a makeshift purse.
Embedded Chips

Though designers say the product is unisex, as a fashion accessory it may carry particular appeal to women, a group Intel has long wanted to win over. "Increasingly, women are often the decision makers, particularly with high-end purchases," says Richard Shim, an analyst with IDC. "More and more companies are starting to pay more attention to the female market segment."

But Intel wants to ensure the laptop appeals to wide range of users. "As a market matures, vendors who focus on particular market segments tend to do better," Kay says. Patrick Lynch, an Intel manager, says the design is geared toward any professionals on the go—for instance real-estate agents and salespeople who tend to work from different locations, such as Starbucks (SBUX), cars, and other companies' offices.

These users might appreciate this device's always-on wireless connectivity. Today's laptops can connect to Wi-Fi wireless networks but require special cards to surf the Web via cellular networks. This model's embedded chips let users access cellular, Wi-Fi, or WiMax wireless broadband networks. (Intel is expected to release embeddable chips that access all these networks in late 2007, early 2008.)

Embedded cellular connectivity could change the way laptops are sold. In the U.S., cellular network technology varies by carrier. So PC manufacturers might have to start selling special adapter cards, such as the Subscriber Identity Module (SIM) cards used by some carriers in Europe. Or the laptops may need to be marketed through the service provider for whose network they are designed.
Wow Factor

The laptop contains other features its makers hope will resonate with users. It includes so-called small array microphones from Fortemedia, another company funded by Intel Capital, designed to cancel out background noise, often experienced by fans of Web-calling applications like eBay's (EBAY) Skype. The computer also is built to enhance security, boasting a fingerprint reader and a mechanism that lets users kill a hard drive by remote control.

Of course, whatever version of the computer makes it to market may not include all these features. And if it does, it's not clear the machine will be available at the right price. For Intel, "price was not a concern," says Bob Sweet, account director at Ziba. The same can't be said for PC manufacturers, whose margins are under pressure.

Still, Intel and Ziba hope the device wows some segments of the market. "If you want to make a splash in the market," Sweet says, "this is the way to do it."

The World's Most Dangerous Geek

Thu, 24 May 2007 01:17:33 GMT

The most dangerous man in music is ready to rock. It's Saturday night in San Francisco as Justin Frankel, gangly and bed-headed, ambles through the warehouse garage he aptly calls his "playground." He has come here, as he often does, to screw around on his drums or his Moog or electric guitar. But first he needs his fog machine.

"It's around here somewhere," he says, checking under his makeshift concert stage, a riser set against a wall postered with naked women. Then he looks under his Porsche, his VW van, his Swiss military truck, his Go Big scooter, his gutted Audi. He pokes his head behind a hacked Xbox, pulsing the word SeXbox onto a forty-eight-inch flat screen. No luck. "I don't know if I have any CO2 cartridges for it anyway," he says, bumming. Not to worry, there's always his light-show laser. A twenty-five-year-old with $100 million deserves his toys.

If you've downloaded a song in the past few years, it's in large part because of Justin Frankel. Seven years ago, when he was just eighteen, he invented Winamp, the first software program that made it easy to play digital music on your computer. A few years later, he created Gnutella: the vast, and vastly controversial, online network that lets you swap songs. The fact that Frankel secretly did the latter while working at America Online, the company behind his multimillion-dollar buyout, made him both the Internet's greatest punk -- and hero. Now he's about to punk the industry again.

That's because, after years of being muzzled by AOL for igniting the pirate nation, Frankel is breaking his silence. "This is an environment where I don't get to do what I want to do," he says. What he wants to do is even more radical than Gnutella. And to do this, he needs to break free. "Eighty percent of the people at AOL are clueless," he says. When I ask him if they have anything to fear by him leaving, he replies, half-jokingly, "If anything, they have more to fear when I'm working for them."

Frankel kills the lights and gets behind the drums. Despite my rusty chops, he encourages me to strap on an electric guitar. "Things I've done are often interpreted as anti-record-industry," he says, "but it's really about empowering people."

Back in 1996, when a seventeen-year-old Frankel downloaded his first song -- "Pepper," by the Butthole Surfers -- no one really cared about such things. Napster didn't exist. The Recording Industry Association of America hadn't sued a twelve-year-old girl in the projects for downloading, among other things, the theme song to the TV show Full House, and America Online hadn't started hemorrhaging 2 million subscribers a year.

The son of a lawyer and a postal worker, Frankel grew up in a mobile home in the hippie nexus of Sedona, Arizona, where he spent his afternoons taking apart old radios or constructing elaborate model airplanes. "Once Justin gets an idea for something," his father, Charles, says, "he finds a way to create it."

Unchallenged by classes, Frankel took control of his own education, largely directing his own home schooling. Around then, he also started messing with his brother's Atari 8-bit computer. By the time he started high school, he was a self-taught whiz. He ran the school's computer network and racked up a better than 4.0 GPA. In addition to writing an e-mail program for the school, Frankel coded software he called Happy Bug, which would log the keystrokes of teachers at their machines. "It would show you everything they typed," he recalls. But he didn't create the program to steal tests or eavesdrop, he says. "It was more like, 'Cool, look what I can do.'"

After graduating from high school in 1996, he enrolled at the University of Utah, but he clashed with his more traditional computer-science professors and dropped out after two semesters. A few months later, he uploaded Winamp (the name is short for Windows Amplifier). With its equalizer, playlist features and trippy visuals, Winamp trumped every MP3 player out there. In a year and a half, 15 million people downloaded the program. A sizable portion even sent in the voluntary ten-dollar shareware fee that Frankel had requested, reluctantly, on his parents' advice. With tens of thousands of dollars coming in every month, his dad all but abandoned his law practice to help field calls from companies that wanted to cash in on the outfit Justin nihilistically called Nullsoft, a play on Microsoft.

But Justin, despite buying himself a used turbo Audi, was in no rush to sell out. Early on, he had included the tag line "Winamp whips the llama's ass" (riffed from a line in a song by the late schizophrenic Chicago street singer Wesley Willis) on every player. When a pharmaceutical company offered big money to adapt Winamp for use in sales presentations -- on the condition that he remove the tag line -- Frankel balked, and the deal fell apart.

Soon, Frankel coded another program, Shoutcast, do-it-yourself broadcasting software that let people "stream" their own audio over the Net. By 1999, Winamp and Shoutcast put digital music -- and its young creator -- on the map. And America Online wanted in, to the tune of $100 million. Frankel responded with two words: "Holy crap!"

In addition to acquiring Nullsoft in the summer of 1999, the company paid $300 million for Spinner, the leading online-radio service at the time. These were the boom years, and the message was loud and clear: The future of music was on the "information superhighway," and Justin Frankel, hired to further develop Winamp as the standard MP3 player, was going to drive it. And AOL was going to own it. In a statement, AOL's chief operating officer, Bob Pittman, the guy who had previously created MTV, trumpeted, "Combining these leading Internet music brands with the audience reach of our brands will lift music online to the next level of popularity." He had no idea.

"All right, Radiohead!" says frankel, shuffling to a row of CDs inside Amoeba Music, a sprawlingly hip record store in Haight-Ashbury. He's wearing jeans, a white T-shirt and a black leather jacket. He has the patchy Chia-like beard of a dude who doesn't give a shit about patchy Chia-like beards.

"When Hail to the Thief leaked on the Internet," Frankel says, "I was like, 'Right on!' But I still bought the CD. I think it's wrong to download music and never give anything to the artist. But if you download something and you're like, 'This sucks,' and you never listen to it again, I don't think there's anything wrong with that." A true child of Sedona, Frankel maintains a heartfelt sense of morality and karma. It's this passion to do right by music fans that inspired him to create the very thing that so many people consider to be wrong: Gnutella.

Gnutella's birth came at the end of what Frankel now calls his "very short honeymoon" with America Online. At first, it seemed like the ultimate setup: good money, a nice office and the freedom to work on the next version of Winamp. But it didn't take long for things to sour. Almost immediately after the deal was struck, persnickety hackers online cried "sellout." Frankel's girlfriend broke up with him because, he says, "she got freaked out by the money." And the big, open office Nullsoft and Spinner shared in San Francisco got Dilbertized by AOL. "Three months after we arrived," Frankel says, "they built all these cubicles, and it sucked."

It was inside his cubicle one day that Frankel first saw Napster. File-trading wasn't new. But Shawn Fanning, Napster's nineteen-year-old creator, had coded a clever piece of software that made this geekish pastime user-friendly. "When I first saw Napster, I thought, 'Wow, that's pretty cool,' " Frankel says, " 'but how will they keep from getting sued?'"

Napster had a fatal flaw. Fanning was using a bank of his company's own computers to facilitate all those Metallica songs flying back and forth online, and Fanning was setting himself up to profit from copyright infringement. "Napster was a company built on people doing things that are illegal," Frankel says. "That's wrong." Rob Lord, who had joined Nullsoft's team, even tipped off the RIAA to Napster.

Frankel decided to "take the wind out of Napster's sails." His solution: an online network that could let people trade all kinds of files -- songs, videos, whatever -- in a decentralized environment. By connecting people's computers directly with one another, they could trade data without having to go through some company's rack of servers. Best of all, Frankel thought, such technology would be good karma, too. "I would not be getting any money from it," he says. "I'd be giving power to people, and what can be wrong with that?"

Frankel got to work on what became Gnutella, named after the chocolate-hazelnut spread and, more tellingly, the "GNU" free-software project. He coded fast and on the sly. "I didn't want AOL to find out," he says, "because they'd prevent it from happening."

On March 14th, 2000, Frankel and Tom Pepper, a Nullsoft cohort, uploaded an early version of Gnutella, with a note: "Justin and Tom work for Nullsoft, makers of Winamp and Shoutcast. See? AOL can bring you good things!" The next day, Frankel was with his parents touring Alcatraz, appropriately enough, when his cell phone rang. It was Pepper. "Dude," Pepper said, "you better get back to the office."

By the time Frankel returned, he says, "the shit had hit the fan." The timing of Gnutella couldn't have been worse from the company's point of view. AOL was in the midst of trying to merge with Time Warner, which was involved in suing Napster for facilitating copyright infringement.

AOL ordered him to take the program down immediately, and the company put out a statement calling Gnutella an "unauthorized freelance project." But Gnutella, unlike Napster, couldn't be stopped. More than 10,000 people had downloaded the beta software that first day, and intrepid hackers had gone to work to reverse-engineer it and throw it into the hands of the open-source community, laying the foundation for BearShare, Morpheus, LimeWire and other file-trading wares.

With Gnutella, Napster became almost irrelevant. There was no company to sue, no computers to shut down. AOL had paid Frankel $100 million for a slice of the future, but Frankel decided he'd rather give the future away.

After that, Frankel says, AOL kept him on "a very short leash," steering him away from interviewers and encouraging him to focus on Winamp, the program they paid him 100 million friggin' dollars to work on in the first place. Not surprisingly, he acted out. In August 2000, he uploaded an MP3 search engine. AOL took it down. The next month, he uploaded to a secret section of the Nullsoft site a program called AIMazing, which would replace the banner ads in AOL's Instant Messenger with an image of a musical heartbeat. Frankel called it nothing more than "a cute innovation." The Wall Street Journal called Frankel "AOL's loose cannon."

AOL cracked down, again -- this time requiring Frankel to seek approval before blogging online. "We fought off the AOL bullshit as much as possible," he says. When the company tried to insist that an AOL icon instantly appear on a user's desktop during a Winamp installation, Frankel hit the roof. "I'd be like, 'Look, our users don't want to use AOL!' " he says. " 'They think AOL sucks!'"

But Winamp was having problems of its own, losing ground to Windows Media and RealPlayer, both of which incorporated video streaming. Nullsoft attempted to re-establish the brand with Winamp 3.0. But the new version was bloated, if not somewhat embarrassing -- particularly for Frankel, who prided himself on lean, simple wares. On Frankel's urging, Nullsoft trimmed back the next version of the player, calling it Winamp 2.9.

Around that time, Frankel began tinkering with a new kind of software. Taking the name from an underground postal system in the Thomas Pynchon novel The Crying of Lot 49, Frankel created Waste: a "private workspace," as he calls it, that allows small groups of friends to trade files without being as conspicuous as those on the larger peer-to-peer networks.

Sometimes called a "darknet," it's a kind of mini-Gnutella, a small, password-protected file-trading network. Because you can't get in unless you're invited, even the most intrepid hackers -- or recording-industry lawyers -- would have trouble figuring out when or where a Waste system is running.

This time around, Frankel took the high road. He tried pitching Waste to AOL, but after the company dragged its feet for months, he got fed up. On May 28th, 2003, four years to the date that he was acquired, Frankel rebelled again -- uploading Waste as a way to force AOL to deal with it, and him, once and for all. "AOL as a company should not just sit on their asses and try to keep from losing as many subscribers as it can," he says. "I mean, I'm a stockholder of the company. I want them innovating. I want them doing things that are good for the world and being socially conscious."

AOL responded by taking the program down. (AOL had no comment about Waste for this story.) Days later, Frankel took it to the people one last time. "For me, coding is a form of self-expression," he wrote online late one night. "The company controls the most effective means of self-expression I have. This is unacceptable to me as an individual, therefore I must leav [sic]. . . . "

Shut your mouth! Shut your mouth! Raise your hand if you need to take a piss!"

Night is falling on Frankel's warehouse, and we're midway through an impromptu jam onstage. Frankel's half brother Brennan, another Nullsoft staffer, is belting out these lyrics for a song about obedience and oppression. When I joke that it sounds like it's inspired by real life, no one argues. "America Online as a company is all right," Frankel says diplomatically, "but big companies have limitations about what they can or can't do."

A few weeks after I visit, AOL proved his point once again. On December 9th, the company shut down the San Francisco office that once housed Nullsoft and Spinner, and laid off 450 employees, including Frankel's half brother. The next week, Frankel uploaded what could be his swan song as an AOL employee: Winamp, version 5.0. In the near future, he says, he's going to have a sit-down with his boss and enthusiastically return to a riskier way of life. This could include some new programs such as a free and open solution for mobile text messaging -- a kind of Gnutella spin on BlackBerry -- or some other stuff that he won't reveal. "Those are the really good ideas," he says.

In many ways, Frankel's future encapsulates the debate over the future of the Internet itself. Does it become just a distribution system for corporate product or more of a way to subvert that corporate control? For Frankel, subversion is in the eye of the beholder. "The question is," he says, "do you think people are ultimately good or bad? Do they want to do the right thing, or do they want to do what's good for them and fuck everyone else? I hope it's not the latter."

With our song done, Frankel and Brennan tweak the mix into shape. "I'll put this online," Frankel tells me, cracking a grin, "with your permission, of course."

Ron Paul for President of USA

Wed, 23 May 2007 02:21:47 GMT

What do you think of this guy?

Divorce hits men harder So dont fight with your girlfriend

Wed, 23 May 2007 00:02:57 GMT

The stereotype might be that a man relishes trading his wife for a fast car or a younger woman, but a new study finds that men appear to take separation harder than women.

While both men and women whose marriages have dissolved have a higher risk of being depressed than people who remained with their spouses, a Statistics Canada study found that men who had divorced or separated were six times more likely to report an episode of depression compared with men who remained married.

Women who had undergone marital breakups were 3.5 times more likely to have had bouts of depression than their counterparts who were still in relationships.

The survey found that 12 per cent of people who were no longer in a relationship reported a new episode of depression, while just three per cent of those who remained in a relationship had suffered new depression.

Michelle Rotermann, the author of the study, said she was surprised, and also not surprised, by the results.

"On the one hand we know depression in general tends to be more common among women, but there is also a lot of evidence that shows that men have fewer social supports and social support does seem to play a role," she said.

"Perhaps one of the reasons why men are more at risk of experiencing subsequent depression is because one of their main sources of social support is their partner, their spouse, and now she is no longer there," said Rotermann, an analyst at Statistics Canada.

Nineteen per cent of men who were no longer with their spouse found a decline in social support, while only six per cent of men who remained in a relationship found a drop. Among women the proportions were 11 per cent for those no longer in a relationship and five for those who were.

Jenni Tipper, a research associate with the Vanier Institute of the Family in Ottawa, said "typically women are much better at building and maintaining social supports, which isn't often the case for men."

After a breakup, women tended to live in households with an income ranking far below that of their male counterparts. In fact, nearly 30 per cent of recently divorced or separated men actually experienced an improvement in the ranking of their adjusted household income, the study reported.

The study found that 34 per cent of men and three per cent of women were residing with at least one less child after the breakdown of their relationship.

Tipper said the study is a good reminder that the breakdown of a marriage is an extremely challenging transition for everybody involved.

"We sometimes tend to think that it's the woman who bears the brunt of a divorce outcome. And there is no question that women experience higher levels of economic strife," Tipper said. "What we tend to forget in many instances, for the men in particular, they see children all but removed from their lives, which is a huge impact on your life."

The study said the relationship between marital breakup and depression was independent of other factors associated with breakups – changes in household income, social support or the number of children in the household.

More than three-quarters of those who suffered depression in the post-relationship period were no longer depressed four years after the breakup, the findings show.

"It sort of suggests that, for the majority, the effects of your relationship breaking up ... people seem to get back on their feet but there is this significant minority for whom trouble seems to persist," said Rotermann.

The study was based on longitudinal data from the National Population Health Survey, which was taken at two-year intervals between 1994 and 2005. The 7,614 respondents were between the ages of 20 and 64, and free of depression and in a relationship the first time they were interviewed.

Calum Best: Lindsay Likes Rough Sex and needs ear muffs cuz Lindsay is so loud

Tue, 22 May 2007 09:55:00 GMT

According to an insider, he’s been telling everyone that sex with Lindsay is the best he's ever had - which is quite an achievement considering the hoards of women the sleazy lothario has somehow managed to charm into bed, though it doesn’t explain why he slept with another woman while Lindsay was in the next hotel room.

The source claims, "Calum was knocked out by her body. He said she's got one of the best he's ever seen with all the curves in the right places. He joked that Lindsay loved being on top during sex and controlling the pace but sometimes he felt he needed ear-muffs because she screamed so much during sex.

“Lindsay likes her sex rough and passionate and Calum says he has the bruises and bumps to prove it."

We doubt Lindsay will be too bothered by these claims about her bedroom antics - in fact, we imagine she's probably quite proud.

Enrique has a little trouble he has a little willy.

Mon, 21 May 2007 14:27:41 GMT

SINGER ENRIQUE IGLESIAS has stunned his hordes of female fans — by admitting he has a little willy.

The Spanish heart-throb, 32, — who is dating Russian tennis star ANNA KOURNIKOVA — confessed it was the one thing he would change about his body.

His dad Julio, 63, is a legendary lover said to have bedded 3,000 women. But Enrique told a mag: “I’d change my penis if I could. It’s way, way, way too small.”

Enrique also revealed he has no plans to wed Anna, 25, as “it wouldn’t make a difference”.

Full text: bin Laden's 'letter to America' translated in English

Fri, 18 May 2007 16:38:46 GMT

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful,

"Permission to fight (against disbelievers) is given to those (believers) who are fought against, because they have been wronged and surely, Allah is Able to give them (believers) victory" [Quran 22:39]

"Those who believe, fight in the Cause of Allah, and those who disbelieve, fight in the cause of Taghut (anything worshipped other than Allah e.g. Satan). So fight you against the friends of Satan; ever feeble is indeed the plot of Satan."[Quran 4:76]

Some American writers have published articles under the title 'On what basis are we fighting?' These articles have generated a number of responses, some of which adhered to the truth and were based on Islamic Law, and others which have not. Here we wanted to outline the truth - as an explanation and warning - hoping for Allah's reward, seeking success and support from Him.

While seeking Allah's help, we form our reply based on two questions directed at the Americans:

(Q1) Why are we fighting and opposing you?
Q2)What are we calling you to, and what do we want from you?

As for the first question: Why are we fighting and opposing you? The answer is very simple:

(1) Because you attacked us and continue to attack us.

a) You attacked us in Palestine:

(i) Palestine, which has sunk under military occupation for more than 80 years. The British handed over Palestine, with your help and your support, to the Jews, who have occupied it for more than 50 years; years overflowing with oppression, tyranny, crimes, killing, expulsion, destruction and devastation. The creation and continuation of Israel is one of the greatest crimes, and you are the leaders of its criminals. And of course there is no need to explain and prove the degree of American support for Israel. The creation of Israel is a crime which must be erased. Each and every person whose hands have become polluted in the contribution towards this crime must pay its*price, and pay for it heavily.

(ii) It brings us both laughter and tears to see that you have not yet tired of repeating your fabricated lies that the Jews have a historical right to Palestine, as it was promised to them in the Torah. Anyone who disputes with them on this alleged fact is accused of anti-semitism. This is one of the most fallacious, widely-circulated fabrications in history. The people of Palestine are pure Arabs and original Semites. It is the Muslims who are the inheritors of Moses (peace be upon him) and the inheritors of the real Torah that has not been changed. Muslims believe in all of the Prophets, including Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon them all. If the followers of Moses have been promised a right to Palestine in the Torah, then the Muslims are the most worthy nation of this.

When the Muslims conquered Palestine and drove out the Romans, Palestine and Jerusalem returned to Islaam, the religion of all the Prophets peace be upon them. Therefore, the call to a historical right to Palestine cannot be raised against the Islamic Ummah that believes in all the Prophets of Allah (peace and blessings be upon them) - and we make no distinction between them.

(iii) The blood pouring out of Palestine must be equally revenged. You must know that the Palestinians do not cry alone; their women are not widowed alone; their sons are not orphaned alone.

(b) You attacked us in Somalia; you supported the Russian atrocities against us in Chechnya, the Indian oppression against us in Kashmir, and the Jewish aggression against us in Lebanon.

(c) Under your supervision, consent and orders, the governments of our countries which act as your agents, attack us on a daily basis;

(i) These governments prevent our people from establishing the Islamic Shariah, using violence and lies to do so.

(ii) These governments give us a taste of humiliation, and places us in a large prison of fear and subdual.

(iii) These governments steal our Ummah's wealth and sell them to you at a paltry price.

(iv) These governments have surrendered to the Jews, and handed them most of Palestine, acknowledging the existence of their state over the dismembered limbs of their own people.

(v) The removal of these governments is an obligation upon us, and a necessary step to free the Ummah, to make the Shariah the supreme law and to regain Palestine. And our fight against these governments is not separate from out fight against you.

(d) You steal our wealth and oil at paltry prices because of you international influence and military threats. This theft is indeed the biggest theft ever witnessed by mankind in the history of the world.

(e) Your forces occupy our countries; you spread your military bases throughout them; you corrupt our lands, and you besiege our sanctities, to protect the security of the Jews and to ensure the continuity of your pillage of our treasures.

(f) You have starved the Muslims of Iraq, where children die every day. It is a wonder that more than 1.5 million Iraqi children have died as a result of your sanctions, and you did not show concern. Yet when 3000 of your people died, the entire world rises and has not yet sat down.

(g) You have supported the Jews in their idea that Jerusalem is their eternal capital, and agreed to move your embassy there. With your help and under your protection, the Israelis are planning to destroy the Al-Aqsa mosque. Under the protection of your weapons, Sharon entered the Al-Aqsa mosque, to pollute it as a preparation to capture and destroy it.

(2) These tragedies and calamities are only a few examples of your oppression and aggression against us. It is commanded by our religion and intellect that the oppressed have a right to return the aggression. Do not await anything from us but Jihad, resistance and revenge. Is it in any way rational to expect that after America has attacked us for more than half a century, that we will then leave her to live in security and peace?!!

(3) You may then dispute that all the above does not justify aggression against civilians, for crimes they did not commit and offenses in which they did not partake:

(a) This argument contradicts your continuous repetition that America is the land of freedom, and its leaders in this world. Therefore, the American people are the ones who choose their government by way of their own free will; a choice which stems from their agreement to its policies. Thus the American people have chosen, consented to, and affirmed their support for the Israeli oppression of the Palestinians, the occupation and usurpation of their land, and its continuous killing, torture, punishment and expulsion of the Palestinians. The American people have the ability and choice to refuse the policies of their Government and even to change it if they want.

(b) The American people are the ones who pay the taxes which fund the planes that bomb us in Afghanistan, the tanks that strike and destroy our homes in Palestine, the armies which occupy our lands in the Arabian Gulf, and the fleets which ensure the blockade of Iraq. These tax dollars are given to Israel for it to continue to attack us and penetrate our lands. So the American people are the ones who fund the attacks against us, and they are the ones who oversee the expenditure of these monies in the way they wish, through their elected candidates.

(c) Also the American army is part of the American people. It is this very same people who are shamelessly helping the Jews fight against us.

(d) The American people are the ones who employ both their men and their women in the American Forces which attack us.

(e) This is why the American people cannot be not innocent of all the crimes committed by the Americans and Jews against us.

(f) Allah, the Almighty, legislated the permission and the option to take revenge. Thus, if we are attacked, then we have the right to attack back. Whoever has destroyed our villages and towns, then we have the right to destroy their villages and towns. Whoever has stolen our wealth, then we have the right to destroy their economy. And whoever has killed our civilians, then we have the right to kill theirs.

The American Government and press still refuses to answer the question:

Why did they attack us in New York and Washington?

If Sharon is a man of peace in the eyes of Bush, then we are also men of peace!!! America does not understand the language of manners and principles, so we are addressing it using the language it understands.

(Q2) As for the second question that we want to answer: What are we calling you to, and what do we want from you?

(1) The first thing that we are calling you to is Islam.

(a) The religion of the Unification of God; of freedom from associating partners with Him, and rejection of this; of complete love of Him, the Exalted; of complete submission to His Laws; and of the discarding of all the opinions, orders, theories and religions which contradict with the religion He sent down to His Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Islam is the religion of all the prophets, and makes no distinction between them - peace be upon them all.

It is to this religion that we call you; the seal of all the previous religions. It is the religion of Unification of God, sincerity, the best of manners, righteousness, mercy, honour, purity, and piety. It is the religion of showing kindness to others, establishing justice between them, granting them their rights, and defending the oppressed and the persecuted. It is the religion of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil with the hand, tongue and heart. It is the religion of Jihad in the way of Allah so that Allah's Word and religion reign Supreme. And it is the religion of unity and agreement on the obedience to Allah, and total equality between all people, without regarding their colour, sex, or language.

(b) It is the religion whose book - the Quran - will remained preserved and unchanged, after the other Divine books and messages have been changed. The Quran is the miracle until the Day of Judgment. Allah has challenged anyone to bring a book like the Quran or even ten verses like it.

(2) The second thing we call you to, is to stop your oppression, lies, immorality and debauchery that has spread among you.

(a) We call you to be a people of manners, principles, honour, and purity; to reject the immoral acts of fornication, homosexuality, intoxicants, gambling's, and trading with interest.

We call you to all of this that you may be freed from that which you have become caught up in; that you may be freed from the deceptive lies that you are a great nation, that your leaders spread amongst you to conceal from you the despicable state to which you have reached.

(b) It is saddening to tell you that you are the worst civilization witnessed by the history of mankind:

(i) You are the nation who, rather than ruling by the Shariah of Allah in its Constitution and Laws, choose to invent your own laws as you will and desire. You separate religion from your policies, contradicting the pure nature which affirms Absolute Authority to the Lord and your Creator. You flee from the embarrassing question posed to you: How is it possible for Allah the Almighty to create His creation, grant them power over all the creatures and land, grant them all the amenities of life, and then deny them that which they are most in need of: knowledge of the laws which govern their lives?

(ii) You are the nation that permits Usury, which has been forbidden by all the religions. Yet you build your economy and investments on Usury. As a result of this, in all its different forms and guises, the Jews have taken control of your economy, through which they have then taken control of your media, and now control all aspects of your life making you their servants and achieving their aims at your expense; precisely what Benjamin Franklin warned you against.

(iii) You are a nation that permits the production, trading and usage of intoxicants. You also permit drugs, and only forbid the trade of them, even though your nation is the largest consumer of them.

(iv) You are a nation that permits acts of immorality, and you consider them to be pillars of personal freedom. You have continued to sink down this abyss from level to level until incest has spread amongst you, in the face of which neither your sense of honour nor your laws object.

Who can forget your President Clinton's immoral acts committed in the official Oval office? After that you did not even bring him to account, other than that he 'made a mistake', after which everything passed with no punishment. Is there a worse kind of event for which your name will go down in history and remembered by nations?

(v) You are a nation that permits gambling in its all forms. The companies practice this as well, resulting in the investments becoming active and the criminals becoming rich.

(vi) You are a nation that exploits women like consumer products or advertising tools calling upon customers to purchase them. You use women to serve passengers, visitors, and strangers to increase your profit margins. You then rant that you support the liberation of women.

(vii) You are a nation that practices the trade of sex in all its forms, directly and indirectly. Giant corporations and establishments are established on this, under the name of art, entertainment, tourism and freedom, and other deceptive names you attribute to it.

(viii) And because of all this, you have been described in history as a nation that spreads diseases that were unknown to man in the past. Go ahead and boast to the nations of man, that you brought them AIDS as a Satanic American Invention.

(xi) You have destroyed nature with your industrial waste and gases more than any other nation in history. Despite this, you refuse to sign the Kyoto agreement so that you can secure the profit of your greedy companies and*industries.

(x) Your law is the law of the rich and wealthy people, who hold sway in their political parties, and fund their election campaigns with their gifts. Behind them stand the Jews, who control your policies, media and economy.

(xi) That which you are singled out for in the history of mankind, is that you have used your force to destroy mankind more than any other nation in history; not to defend principles and values, but to hasten to secure your interests and profits. You who dropped a nuclear bomb on Japan, even though Japan was ready to negotiate an end to the war. How many acts of oppression, tyranny and injustice have you carried out, O callers to freedom?

(xii) Let us not forget one of your major characteristics: your duality in both manners and values; your hypocrisy in manners and principles. All*manners, principles and values have two scales: one for you and one for the others.

(a)The freedom and democracy that you call to is for yourselves and for white race only; as for the rest of the world, you impose upon them your monstrous, destructive policies and Governments, which you call the 'American friends'. Yet you prevent them from establishing democracies. When the Islamic party in Algeria wanted to practice democracy and they won the election, you unleashed your agents in the Algerian army onto them, and to attack them with tanks and guns, to imprison them and torture them - a new lesson from the 'American book of democracy'!!!

(b)Your policy on prohibiting and forcibly removing weapons of mass destruction to ensure world peace: it only applies to those countries which you do not permit to possess such weapons. As for the countries you consent to, such as Israel, then they are allowed to keep and use such weapons to defend their security. Anyone else who you suspect might be manufacturing or keeping these kinds of weapons, you call them criminals and you take military action against them.

(c)You are the last ones to respect the resolutions and policies of International Law, yet you claim to want to selectively punish anyone else who does the same. Israel has for more than 50 years been pushing UN resolutions and rules against the wall with the full support of America.

(d)As for the war criminals which you censure and form criminal courts for - you shamelessly ask that your own are granted immunity!! However, history will not forget the war crimes that you committed against the Muslims and the rest of the world; those you have killed in Japan, Afghanistan, Somalia, Lebanon and Iraq will remain a shame that you will never be able to escape. It will suffice to remind you of your latest war crimes in Afghanistan, in which densely populated innocent civilian villages were destroyed, bombs were dropped on mosques causing the roof of the mosque to come crashing down on the heads of the Muslims praying inside. You are the ones who broke the agreement with the Mujahideen when they left Qunduz, bombing them in Jangi fort, and killing more than 1,000 of your prisoners through suffocation and thirst. Allah alone knows how many people have died by torture at the hands of you and your agents. Your planes remain in the Afghan skies, looking for anyone remotely suspicious.

(e)You have claimed to be the vanguards of Human Rights, and your Ministry of Foreign affairs issues annual reports containing statistics of those countries that violate any Human Rights. However, all these things vanished when the Mujahideen hit you, and you then implemented the methods of the same documented governments that you used to curse. In America, you captured thousands the Muslims and Arabs, took them into custody with neither reason, court trial, nor even disclosing their names. You issued newer, harsher laws.

What happens in Guatanamo is a historical embarrassment to America and its values, and it screams into your faces - you hypocrites, "What is the value of your signature on any agreement or treaty?"

(3) What we call you to thirdly is to take an honest stance with yourselves - and I doubt you will do so - to discover that you are a nation without principles or manners, and that the values and principles to you are something which you merely demand from others, not that which you yourself must adhere to.

(4) We also advise you to stop supporting Israel, and to end your support of the Indians in Kashmir, the Russians against the Chechens and to also cease supporting the Manila Government against the Muslims in Southern Philippines.

(5) We also advise you to pack your luggage and get out of our lands. We desire for your goodness, guidance, and righteousness, so do not force us to send you back as cargo in coffins.

(6) Sixthly, we call upon you to end your support of the corrupt leaders in our countries. Do not interfere in our politics and method of education. Leave us alone, or else expect us in New York and Washington.

(7) We also call you to deal with us and interact with us on the basis of mutual interests and benefits, rather than the policies of sub dual, theft and occupation, and not to continue your policy of supporting the Jews because this will result in more disasters for you.

If you fail to respond to all these conditions, then prepare for fight with the Islamic Nation. The Nation of Monotheism, that puts complete trust on Allah and fears none other than Him. The Nation which is addressed by its Quran with the words: "Do you fear them? Allah has more right that you should fear Him if you are believers. Fight against them so that Allah will punish them by your hands and disgrace them and give you victory over them and heal the breasts of believing people. And remove the anger of their (believers') hearts. Allah accepts the repentance of whom He wills. Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise." [Quran9:13-1]

The Nation of honour and respect:

"But honour, power and glory belong to Allah, and to His Messenger (Muhammad- peace be upon him) and to the believers." [Quran 63:8]

"So do not become weak (against your enemy), nor be sad, and you will be*superior ( in victory )if you are indeed (true) believers" [Quran 3:139]

The Nation of Martyrdom; the Nation that desires death more than you desire life:

"Think not of those who are killed in the way of Allah as dead. Nay, they are alive with their Lord, and they are being provided for. They rejoice in what Allah has bestowed upon them from His bounty and rejoice for the sake of those who have not yet joined them, but are left behind (not yet martyred) that on them no fear shall come, nor shall they grieve. They rejoice in a grace and a bounty from Allah, and that Allah will not waste the reward of the believers." [Quran 3:169-171]

The Nation of victory and success that Allah has promised:

"It is He Who has sent His Messenger (Muhammad peace be upon him) with guidance and the religion of truth (Islam), to make it victorious over all other religions even though the Polytheists hate it." [Quran 61:9]

"Allah has decreed that 'Verily it is I and My Messengers who shall be victorious.' Verily Allah is All-Powerful, All-Mighty." [Quran 58:21]

The Islamic Nation that was able to dismiss and destroy the previous evil Empires like yourself; the Nation that rejects your attacks, wishes to remove your evils, and is prepared to fight you. You are well aware that the Islamic Nation, from the very core of its soul, despises your haughtiness and arrogance.

If the Americans refuse to listen to our advice and the goodness, guidance and righteousness that we call them to, then be aware that you will lose this Crusade Bush began, just like the other previous Crusades in which you were humiliated by the hands of the Mujahideen, fleeing to your home in great silence and disgrace. If the Americans do not respond, then their fate will be that of the Soviets who fled from Afghanistan to deal with their military defeat, political breakup, ideological downfall, and economic bankruptcy.

This is our message to the Americans, as an answer to theirs. Do they now know why we fight them and over which form of ignorance, by the permission of Allah, we shall be victorious?

Jessica Simpson & John Mayer Split – For Now

Fri, 18 May 2007 15:50:57 GMT

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have ended their romance – but perhaps not for good, a source close to Simpson tells PEOPLE.

"They have broken up," says the source. "But they have broken up and gotten back together at least 10 times before."

According to the source, the pair are in constant contact – even as Simpson promotes her film Major Movie Star at the Cannes Film Festival in France. "They talk to each other at least six times a day. I don't know if this breakup is permanent, but for right now they are broken up."

In fact, the pair have "been emailing and talking to each other," since Simpson went to Cannes, says a Simpson friend. "I'm sure they'll get back together."

As for why the two singers split, a friend of Mayer's says, "John did say that he broke up [with Jessica]. He said that it was because he was just over it."

But the pal says there is no other woman. "He's fine about it, he's not upset – but he's definitely not looking for someone right now."

A source who spoke with Mayer recently says the breakup came as a surprise: "Whenever I've seen them, they've been tight and together. I've never seen them argue or anything."

Still, Mayer didn't appear to be taking the split too hard on Thursday. The rocker stayed out until nearly 4 a.m. partying at New York hotspot Stereo. He sat at a back table in the VIP area where he drank two glasses of Jack Daniels and hung out with friends, according to sources.

Reps for Simpson, 26, and Mayer, 29, refused to comment on their clients' personal lives.

PerezHilton.com first broke the news of the couple's split.

Simpson and Mayer have been gradually more and more open about their relationship after months of playing coy. Asked about Simpson in February, Mayer told Time Out New York, "I'm having the best time of my life, so if the names don't make sense to people, that's so small to me."

Soon after, though, the pair stepped out in a big way, taking a joint vacation to Italy in March. And when Mayer's Continuum tour hit Australia in April, Simpson was frequently by his side, spending down time with her beau on Byron Beach.

While Down Under, the two were prone to public displays of affection. Said a fellow passenger flying in business class with the couple from Sydney to Perth: "They were snuggling together."

And Mayer has earned praise from Simpson's family. Recently, Joe Simpson told PEOPLE, "If Jessica is in love, I love the things she is in love with." And he added: "I want her to be happy."

Allison Stokke Photo Slideshow

Fri, 18 May 2007 00:22:18 GMT

hottest pole vaulter ever

Gonzales’ Harvard Law classmates took out an ad in the Washington Post today. This is the ad. (pdf)

Wed, 16 May 2007 00:18:41 GMT

Harvard grads should check before they quote people. Ben Franklin denied ever saying that quote.

Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick.

The ad placed by the Harvard grads does not claim that Franklin either said or wrote the famous "Liberty/Safety" quip. It says that the quip is attributed to him, which is true.

How to Give Someone a Hickey

Tue, 15 May 2007 21:14:06 GMT

A hickey is a discoloration of the skin—a bruise, really—caused by prolonged suction of the mouth against the skin. Hickeys are a rite of passage, a mark of love or possession that advertises the hickey wearer’s relationship with the hickey giver. This article explains how to give a hickey to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Steps

1. Get the person's permission. Just because you want to leave your mark of love on your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't mean he or she wants to wear an ugly bruise. Ask first, even if your partner has been kissing you, and stop if he or she wants you to (hickeys can cause the receiver discomfort).
2. Choose the right spot. You can give someone a hickey just about anywhere. The most common place is on the throat, because the capillaries (tiny blood vessels) that are broken during a hickey are pretty close to the surface and because you don’t need to remove any clothing to give a hickey on the neck. These are also the most easily visible, and while visibility is usually intended, you may want to give or receive a hickey elsewhere where it is more easily covered.
3. Place your lips against the skin, leaving your mouth open slightly in the middle. Your lips should be parted as though you are saying the letter “O.”
4. Suck on the skin. Make a good seal with your lips against the skin, and suck the skin as though you’re trying to suck it into your mouth. Continue applying suction for at least 30 seconds, possibly more. The suction will break the capillaries beneath the skin and cause the characteristic bruising that is a hickey.

Tips

* Wait a few minutes for the hickey to appear. It will probably get darker or bigger in the hours after you give it.
* If you can't seem to give a hickey, try sucking on the skin for more time, and make sure you have a good seal between the mouth and skin so that your suction is most powerful.
* It may help to start with your tongue against their skin, inside your mouth, then pull it back as you suck
* If your partner doesn't want a hickey to be noticeable, ask if you can give one to him or her in a less conspicuous spot. The belly is good, not only because it won't be seen by others, but also because it provides a flat surface against which you can easily create good suction.

Warnings

* Receiving a hickey can be painful. If you don’t like the way it feels, pull away and tell the person to stop. If someone asks you to stop giving a hickey, respect his or her wishes.
* Don’t bite. Suction is all that is required to give a hickey. If you use your teeth you run the risk of breaking the skin and causing infection. Even if it doesn't break the skin, it will hurt a lot in the days to come.

How to French Kiss

Tue, 15 May 2007 21:12:03 GMT

You have seen it done often in the movies and probably on the street in darkened corners. The French kiss is a timeless and passionate gesture of romantic affection. Whether you live in Paris, France or Paris, Texas, you can learn how to kiss like the French do without an embarrassing faux pas!

Steps

1. Moisten your lips. Dry lips do not move well together. Just a light brush of your tongue over your lips will be sufficient to moisten them.
2. Angle your head. If your mouths meet dead-on, your noses will get in the way, and you will not be able to kiss deeply or smoothly. To avoid this, tilt your head slightly to one side. Make sure you do not both tilt your heads to the same side.
3. Close your eyes. As you approach for the kiss, look into your partner's eyes, but, once you are close to theirs, close your eyes. It can be a bit of a turnoff to be kissing and going cross-eyed .
4.
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Start with a gentle and soft closed-mouth kiss. The French kiss is an open-mouth kiss, but do not lunge in with your lips agape like you're going to eat them; instead, open your lips very slowly. If you were learning to speak French, you would probably start with the basics, vocabulary and grammar, before trying to write poetry. Well, the French kiss is like the poetry of kissing, and before you can be good at it, you have to master the closed-mouth kiss. Even after you have added French kissing to your romantic repertoire, it is usually better to start a kiss with closed lips.
5. Go Dutch on the decision to French. Kissing should be a shared decision. You need to have permission to French kiss someone, but when your lips are locked with their's you may not want to stop and ask, "Hey, this is great, but can I put my tongue in your mouth?" Open your lips slowly and just a little during the kiss so that one of your lips is sandwiched between theirs and one of theirs is between yours. As you are locking and re-locking lips, brush your tongue against your partner's lips ever so slightly. This should make it clear that you want to French kiss. If your partner's tongue does not respond in like fashion or if they pull away, you will have to save the French kiss for another time when you are both ready.
6. Explore with your tongue. If you and your partner seem to be enjoying the open-mouth kiss, slowly try to open your mouth a little bit more and gently push your tongue a little farther into their mouth. The tongue is very sensitive, and the mere act of touching your partner's tongue with your own will be very pleasant and stimulating for each of you. Do not stick your tongue too far into the mouth, as this can be a big turn-off. Instead, just gently and playfully touch tongues.
7. Go Slow. Passionate kisses are good sometimes, but to really enjoy a French kiss, you must take it slow. Do not hurry and take time to explore each other's mouths.
8. Mix it up. Kisses are like snowflakes: no two are exactly the same. Once you finally feel comfortable French kissing someone, it is tempting to try to do the same thing every time. Add variety. Sometimes kiss deeper, for example, and other times pay more attention to the lips than the tongue. Hold the kiss longer or shorter and explore the art of kissing. When something feels good for each of you, do not abandon it for the sake of variety.
9. Read Body Language. Everybody kisses a little differently, and each person enjoys different things in a kiss - there is no "right" way to kiss. What separates good kissers from bad is an ability to read a partner's body language and be responsive to their partner. Of course if your partner pulls away or seems uncomfortable at any time, understand that you have to slow it down. Listen for cues that tell how much your partner is enjoying a particular kissing maneuver. If you hear a sigh or moan, or they begin kissing you back with increased intensity, realize that they are responding with fervor.
10.
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Develop your style. Good French kissing, like good kissing of any kind, requires practice. You will get better as you do it more. In addition, the more practice you have with one person, the more comfortable you will feel kissing them and developing a style that suits both of you.

Tips

* Breathe! Forgetting to breathe is probably the most common French kissing error. Do not hold your breath--everybody needs to breathe, and it is a lot more awkward when you have to pull away gasping for air than if you're breathing normally. Breathe through your nose, and try to keep a normal rhythm. As you and your partner grow comfortable with the kiss, you can try breathing through your mouth a little: sharing breaths as well can be romantic (but not everybody likes it).
* Freshen your breath. You never want to have bad breath when you are about to kiss someone, whether the kiss is a French kiss or not. Because your mouth will be open in a French kiss, fresh breath is especially important. Practice good dental hygiene. Carry mints with you if you think there is even so much as a hint of a chance you might kiss. Avoid foods that leave an unpleasant aftertaste or residue, particularly garlic, onions, milk, and corn.
* Teeth are a sensitive subject. You definitely do not want to bump teeth with each other. It is not only awkward, but can hurt as well. It might inevitably happen at times, so do not worry when it does. You may want to try rubbing the backs or fronts of the teeth of the other person with your tongue. This can create a ticklish feeling that might enhance your kiss. Not everyone enjoys having someones tongue rubbing on their teeth, and many do not like to touch teeth with their tongue.
* Not everybody likes to be kissed the same way, so while your former partner might have enjoyed one method of kissing, your new love might not. You need to learn to read signals and adapt to a style that's comfortable for each each of you. This works in reverse, too. Just because someone doesn't kiss you like you are used to does not mean they are a bad kisser. As long as you are not uncomfortable with the kiss, try to be open-minded, as you just might like the new style.
* Be an active partner. If someone is French kissing you and you want them to do so, do not just sit there but get into the kiss. Reciprocate their actions, and alternate taking the lead on the movements of your tongues and lips. If you are uncomfortable with any part of the kiss, do not be afraid to pull away or gently close your lips. This will give your your partner the hint.
* There are no rules for how long you should hold a kiss. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, break the kiss; otherwise, just enjoy it until one or both of you slowly pull apart, usually together. It is extremely romantic to lightly suck your partner's upper or bottom lip as you part. You might find yourselves returning to kissing, after each of you takes a breath.
*
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Use your hands. Your hands are important to kissing, and you should use them to make the kiss more romantic. Gently hold your partner's face with your hands on their cheeks and their neck, or wrap your arms around your partner in an embrace. The most important thing about using your hands is that you respect your partner's boundaries. Play with their ears or run your fingers through their hair, as this is very stimulating. The second most important thing (much less important than the first) is that your hands should do something. Don't just let them hang at your sides; it will seem like you're not into the kiss, and you'll look like an ape.
* Talk about it. A lot of people have difficulty talking about intimacy, but open communication is important to all parts of a relationship. If you really like the way your partner kisses you, let them know. If you don't like something, also let your partner know that, but approach it delicately and compliment them at the same time on something they did that you liked. Even if the kiss goes all wrong, it can still be an intimate affair if you can both laugh about it together!

Warnings

* To some people a hard tongue is a turn-off. Keep tongue and lips soft and supple...think of the pressure used to lick a soft servie ice cream cone, no probing with a stiff tongue unless the other enjoys it. Use variations too to mix it up. Now go practice!
* You can still French kiss if one or both of you has braces, but you should be careful to prevent the braces from touching each other. Also avoid touching the braces with your tongue (you could cut your tongue).
* Excessive saliva can build up during a French kiss, and that can interfere with the romantic moment. Swallow periodically without breaking the kiss. If you have trouble doing that, do not be afraid to pull away for a moment.

How to Get Kissable Lips

Tue, 15 May 2007 21:09:23 GMT

A quick and inexpensive way to get soft and sweet lips. It takes less than one minute and requires only two easy to find ingredients. Prevent chapped lips by using this technique on a daily basis.
Steps

1. Put a pinch of sugar in the palm of your hand.
2. Soak the fingertips of the opposite hand with water.
3. Drip a few droplets of water on the sugar.
4. Gently mix the sugar and water until it is pasty.
5. Apply in a circular motion to lips to exfoliate.

Tips

* Do this at night before going to bed, then brush your teeth.
* Use your index finger and move in gentle small circles, then all the way around the lips
* Apply your favorite lip balm afterward for extra soft and smooth lips -- try Mary Kay Satin Lips.

Warnings

* Avoid scrubbing (tearing or small cuts could occur)

How to Kiss

Tue, 15 May 2007 21:03:14 GMT

A kiss is one of the most intimate and sensuous things you can experience with another person. Unfortunately, while there’s no “right” way to kiss, many people experience anxiety about kissing or don’t know how to ask for a kiss. Fear not! Whether you’re getting ready for your first kiss, or you’re an experienced kisser and just want to improve your game for your first kiss with a new partner, you’ve come to the right place.
Steps

1. Be prepared. Whether you're a guy or a girl, always have lip balm or lip stick on hand, especially if your lips tend to get dry and chapped. Every time your lips feel dry, put some on. Soft, smooth lips are simply more inviting. Most importantly, nobody wants to kiss someone with a stinky mouth, so carry some breath mints or gum with you, especially if you’re going out on a date. Breath mints are preferable, because you can use them in a pinch and not have to worry about getting rid of them. Also be sure to stay well hydrated: a dry mouth usually will smell worse. Of course, make sure you don’t have anything stuck in your teeth, either.
2. Test the waters. Pay attention to signals that the other person is into you and is ready for a kiss. Does he or she seem comfortable touching you. Do they brush up against you or frequently enter your personal space with playful, innocent touches. Has the subject of kissing or love come up in conversation? If you haven’t noticed any of these signals, but the person does seem “into you,” try discreetly and innocently breaking the touch barrier (guys will generally be very receptive to this, many girls will not) or bringing up kissing when you’re talking. The key is to be subtle and to watch the other person’s reaction.
3. Wait for the right moment. There’s usually no hurry for a kiss, especially a first kiss with someone, so be patient and wait until the mood is right. Some good times are at a romantic movie after or during an onscreen kiss, walking in the moonlight, or during a particularly intimate conversation. Wait until the two of you are alone so that the other person will feel more comfortable and so that nobody will see if your attempt to kiss is rejected.
4. Get permission for the kiss. You don’t always have to ask if you can kiss someone, but you do need to make sure your partner is willing to kiss you. The easiest way, of course, is to ask. Ask “May I kiss you?” or say “I’d like to kiss you,” and lean in right away. Many girls (and guys) want to be asked, but many don’t: they prefer that you be confident enough to take a risk and just go for it. One way to do so is to stop whatever you’re doing and silently look into the person’s eyes for a moment or two. If your partner’s eyes drift down to your lips that’s a pretty good sign that he or she is ready for a kiss—chances are the reaction may be subtler, however. Another good way to get permission is to just lean in and try to kiss the person or gently pull him toward you for a kiss. If the person pulls away at any time, he or she is not ready for a kiss.
5. Approach for the kiss. Approach slowly and smoothly. Depending on your starting position you may need only to turn your head, or you may need to lean in a bit. You may want to use your hands to gently urge your partner’s body or head into position—you just want to guide his or her movement a little, you don’t want to forcibly move any part of his or her body or hold your partner in an uncomfortable position—but in general you just want to position yourself correctly and let your partner meet you. As you near your partner’s lips, maintain eye contact. You may want to close your eyes after your lips meet to heighten the sensuality of the kiss (and to avoid staring at the pores on his or her face).
6. Kiss gently. There are many kinds of kisses, from quick pecks to sweet, passionate kisses. There’s a time and place for all of these, but your first kiss with someone should be gentle and romantic. Don’t press your mouth onto your partner’s--just let your lips meet--and don’t try to push your tongue into his or her mouth. A soft, closed-mouth-to-closed-mouth kiss is perfect. Break the kiss for a moment, keeping your head close to your partner’s, and if your partner moves to kiss you back or seems to like it and doesn’t pull away, go in for another, longer, but still gentle, kiss.
7. Make the kiss the reason for the kiss. A lot of people (mostly men) seem to treat kisses as nothing more than a prelude to something else, and will try to quickly move into French kissing or start putting their hands in inappropriate places. Good kissers concentrate on the kiss, and they kiss, at least seemingly, expecting nothing more. Enjoy the experience, and don’t move too fast.
8. Let your partner participate in the kiss. Good kissing requires give-and-take, so read your partner’s body language and pay attention to cues (sighs or moans) that tell you you’re doing something he or she likes. Let your partner kiss you back, and move with him or her as long as you’re comfortable with what he or she is doing.
9. Breathe. If you’re kissing for an extended period, it’s easy to forget to breathe. Gasping, however, or turning blue is not romantic. Take small breaths through your nose as you kiss. You do not forget how to breathe!
10. Use your hands. While you should keep your hands polite, especially on a first kiss, you don’t necessarily want them just dangling at your sides. Embrace your partner, cup his or her face very gently in your hands, or run your hands through his or her hair.
Be a gentleman (or a lady) at all times, and you'll be more kissable.
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Be a gentleman (or a lady) at all times, and you'll be more kissable.

Tips

* Be polite and patient. Don't expect a kiss on the 1st date. If you act polite, your partner might go out with you again and then you might get a kiss once he or she is more comfortable with you. That said, as you get a little older, people become more comfortable with kissing and it’s polite to gently try to kiss your partner if your date has gone well. If you don’t, he or she might think you’re not interested. Just keep in mind that trying to kiss someone is not the same as expecting to kiss someone. If your partner isn’t in to it, politely respect that.
* Experiment. Over time, you’ll want to try a variety of different kisses for different moods and times. Change it up to keep things interesting. For more information see the related wikiHow on French kissing.
* There normally isn't a need to ask if you can kiss them a second time.
* If you don’t want to kiss someone, or if you feel uncomfortable with anything someone is doing, pull away and let them know right away. Be polite, but be firm.
* Brush off rejection. If someone doesn’t want to kiss you, don’t worry about it. The timing may just be wrong, and if you’re patient that person may want to kiss you some other day. Even if that’s not the case, there are a lot of fish in the sea. You may get turned down a lot, but don’t take it personally. Learn from your mistakes if you can - sometimes the timing is bad or the aproach too forceful - and approach your next opportunity confidently.

Warnings

* Do not force anything! If someone indicates that they don’t want to be kissed, don’t persist. Maybe try again some other day if things are going well.
* Kissing is not supposed to be aggressive, and it's definitely not a contest of who can get their tongue the farthest into their partner's mouth.
* Try to go for no big surprise kisses, keep the surprises small and simple.
* No kissing with food already in mouth
* Do not kiss a person you are just friends with for a dare. You WILL feel guilty afterwards.

Things You'll Need

* a mouth
* a partner to kiss
* a little kissing knowledge
* help from a close guy friend

How to Make a Guy Jealous

Tue, 15 May 2007 21:02:49 GMT

All's fair in love and war, they say, and in the battleground of love there are few weapons more powerful than jealousy. Guys are naturally very jealous creatures, and if you push the right buttons, you can use this weakness to your advantage. Whether you want to play hard-to-get with a new love interest, make your boyfriend more passionate about you, or just get back at an ex who dumped you, follow these steps to have almost any man practically eating out of your hand.
Steps

1. Make sure he has feelings for you. Jealousy only works if the guy has at least some feelings for you. If he's totally not interested, you'll have a very hard time making him jealous. The good news is, any guy you're dating or that you have dated is almost certainly interested in you, and the same can be said with guys that have been flirting with you. If you're not sure if a guy is into you, you can just try to make him jealous anyway. You've got nothing to lose in this situation, and if he does get jealous, then you'll know he's interested.
2. Be active. Do things you like to do. If you're busy and having fun so that you don't always have time for a guy, he'll start to get a little jealous. If you're trying to make that stupid boy who dumped you jealous, this technique is great. It shows that you're going on with your life and having a better time without him. Even if this technique fails to inspire jealousy in the guy, you'll be better off.
3. Flirt with other guys. Nothing drives guys crazy so much as when a girl they're interested in or involved with flirts with other guys. Most men are incredibly competitive by nature, and if other guys appear to like you, even a guy who wouldn't notice you before may take interest. Make sure the guy knows you're flirting by doing it front of him or in situations where you know it'll get back to him.
4. Date other guys. Actually dating other guys takes flirting to a whole new level, and it will do the same with the guy's jealousy. Especially if you have just started dating a guy or if a guy has just dumped you, getting out and seeing other people is a great way to keep (or regain) your independence and to make the guy you want try harder to get you or, in the case of an ex, really regret losing you. If you're in a committed relationship, however, going on dates is usually unacceptable and may cause your boyfriend to break up with you, for good reason.
5. Maintain guy friends. Even if you don't actually go on dates, it's good to have some guy friends that you hang out with. Even if you're in a committed relationship, there's nothing wrong with having male friends, but when you hang out with them your boyfriend will probably be at least a little jealous and nervous.
6. Make him sweat a little. If you're always available for him, you'll lose some of your mystery, and mystery can create jealousy. For example, don't always answer his calls. When you call him back a couple hours later--you definitely should call him back if you're interested--be vague about what you were doing. Say you were out with a friend or your were just busy. Just by not answering the phone, you may make him wonder what you're doing and who you're with. In the same vein, if he calls you to ask if you want to do something, once in a while it's good to just say that you have other plans, even if you don't really. If he's your boyfriend, you'll probably want to tell him what you were doing so that he doesn't actually think you were out with another guy, but from the time he calls to the time you call him back, he'll be wondering.

Tips

* Don't let on that you're trying to make him jealous. If he suspects that the things you're doing might be aimed at making him jealous, that's usually OK, but if he knows that, for example, you're only flirting with other guys because you want him to notice you more, your plan will backfire. If he asks if you're trying to make him jealous, act like you have no idea what he means.
* Flirting with a guy's friends is a mixed bag. Depending on the guy and his friends, it can be very effective or it can be disastrous. Some groups of friends are so tight that the guy will be sure that your flirting will lead nowhere. In other cases, flirting a guy's friends can either cause their friendship to deteriorate or cause both guys to shut you out.
* If you want to get back at an ex-boyfriend, you probably want to make him as jealous as possible, but if you're interested in a guy, you want to make him just jealous enough to be a little nervous and inspired to win you. If you never have time for him; if you don't return his calls; or if you get into a relationship with another guy, he'll probably lose interest in you.

Warnings

* Jealousy affects some guys in a very bad way, causing them to become mean, obsessive, or even violent. Be very cautious about making a guy too jealous, especially if he seems to be taking it very hard. If you know a guy has a tendency to violence, you don't want to be involved with him, and you definitely should not try to make him jealous. If you ever feel threatened by a guy (or by anyone, for that matter), steer clear of him and report any threats or stalking to police.
* On the other hand, some guys respond to jealousy by just giving up. If you're trying to get a guy interested in you and you make him jealous, he might just decide you're not worth his trouble.

How to Get a Guy to Like You

Tue, 15 May 2007 21:02:10 GMT

Do you want to get a guy to be crazy for you, just as you are for him? You have to be very patient, especially if you feel like you want to take it to a level beyond just curious interest. Here are some helpful hints on how to charm a guy, while still being yourself.
Steps

1. Be yourself - whether you're goofy, silly, crazy, or whatever. You've seen this advice before, and you'll see it again. Develop your identity as an individual and stick with it. There's no point in getting him to like someone you're not--you're only setting yourself up for disappointment (not to mention him!). Guys like confident, interesting girls who have their own lives.
2. Get his attention. He can't fancy you if he doesn't know you exist. If you haven't caught his eye yet, then get him to notice you. You've got to walk before you run, right?
3. Make conversation. Take an interest in who he is--what he likes, where he's coming from, where he wants to go--and show him who you are, too. While some guys don't like to talk that much, it's nearly impossible for someone to like you if he doesn't get to know you--unless he "likes" you for all the wrong reasons.
4. Crack a joke. Having a good sense of humor makes everything better. That doesn't mean you should be a giggling fool, laughing at everything that crosses your path. Rather, learn how to find the ironies in life and point them out in a witty and interesting way. It's much easier to like someone who you can have a good laugh with once in a while.
5. Do things together. If he loves rock-climbing, ask him if he can show you how, and make a good-faith effort to see why he's so into it. Have an open mind. Find out what you have in common, and include him in your world. If you love a certain kind of music, ask him if he's ever listened to a particular artist and offer to play a CD for him. Finding activities that you can enjoy together can really lay down a bond and further his appreciation of you.
6. Be an all-around great person. If you focus on being a clean, motivated, kind, and humorous individual, how can anyone resist? Some guys might be intimidated, and they're too insecure to be worth your interest anyway. But it's only a matter of time before a guy who can like you for who you really are will come around and see that you're an awesome person to be around.
7. Have patience. These things take time. You can't force someone to like you, and trying to hurry things up can ruin the courtship altogether. Give him some space and don't be obsessive. Let things progress at a natural pace, or fade out of natural causes.
8. Pay attention. Eventually he'll tell you one way or another whether or not he's interested in reciprocating your affection.

Tips

* Some people prefer being good friends first, others prefer to avoid the "just a friend" zone. Ideally, you can be a little bit of both--a friend and a romantic interest.
* Keep in mind that you cannot control what other people think and do. He may be the object of your interest, but that does not create any obligation that you be his. Turn the situation around. If there was some random guy who took an interest in you, is there anything that he could do to make you like him? Probably not. You will like him or not. You will find him attractive or not. You will find him funny or not. All he can do is try to be the best person he can be, and hope that you agree. The reverse is also true. Be the best person you can be, and let it develop--or not--from there.
* Don't talk about your other prospective guys with the guy you're interested in. It's just not good form, and it's a good way to get rid of him.
* If there is no sign of him being interested in you, that doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't interested. He could just be shy, or be a little frightened, especially if he hasn't dated anyone for a long time.
* Show him the ways you would be a good mate, not just a fun moment. Looking nice and being friendly is important, but guys generally look for more than pretty and available in a long term partner.
* It doesn't hurt to look good, dress well and have good hygiene. This'll give you the confidence you need to flirt with him.
* Flirt physically. Touch his arms or shoulder when talking to him, do it like nothing's wrong. He will like it and even it will motivate him to ask you out.
* Try not to blush too much, though some guys think that's cute. If you can't help it, then just try not to be looking at him at the time. If you are looking at him, make it obvious you were looking at him by quickly looking away. Make sure he can see you blush.

Warnings

* Don't play stupid mind games or send mixed signals. This confuses the guy and has tons of potential for self-embarassment.
* Do not tell your friends about him. They will immediately start staring at him and start giggling and chatting and so on. No matter what you say to them, they will look at him. The worst case scenario is when your friends go off on their own and start pestering the guy with a whole lot of questions that all sound a lot like 'What do you think of Jessica?'. This will send him packing.
* Trying too hard to "get" a specific person to like you can be manipulative, something that no one finds attractive or wants to be the object of.
* If these steps work a little too well and he comes on too strong, let him know to take it easy and don't do anything you feel uncomfortable with.
* Don't confuse kindness with him liking you. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, but be attentive and you'll figure it out.
* Be prepared for rejection or lack of interest. Sometimes you might be incompatible in ways that you don't see, and sometimes a guy just isn't ready for a long term relationship. Don't take rejection too personally. It happens. Not everyone in the world is going to like you.
* If he is dating someone else, he is completely off limits. Respect him by not tempting him to get involved with someone else.

How to Get a Guy to Notice You

Tue, 15 May 2007 21:01:09 GMT

If you want to know how to make a guy fall in love with you, then this is not the article for you. This is for those who have noticed a guy and want him to notice her back (getting him to like you is a whole other story). Luckily, getting a guy to notice you is easier because it involves the use of basic social skills. You should be honest, direct, pleasant, and reasonable.
Steps

1. Be sure that his attention is what you want. Don't try to get a guy to look your way just because you want attention and you want to feel good about yourself. You don't want to lead someone on. You could end up in a very awkward or uncomfortable situation--see the Warnings below.
2. Be yourself. Everyone probably says this, but it's true! No guy wants a girl to pretend she is something she's not. Any guy who does want a fake kind of girl is not a guy whose attention is worth having. Resist the temptation to put on a show or to do anything that just isn't you just to get his attention.
3. Get a new look. Don't change who you are, just try something different. Try a new hairstyle, new clothes, etc. It's a good idea to change things up once in a while, just because variety's the spice of life, and it might help you catch his eye.
4. Smile and make eye contact. Whether closed-mouth or open-mouth, do it. Unless it really makes you feel artificial, learn how to shoot people a reassuring smile, letting them know that you're a happy and confident person who wants to enjoy life. The idea is to communicate that you're inviting their company.
5. Flirt. Do it as little or as much as you want, but remember that too much flirting (especially with other guys) will likely get him to take notice, but perhaps not in a good way.
6. Try to be around him often, such as sitting near him. Take interest in the activities he's interested in him, not just so that you can get near him but also so that you can get to know him better and so you can broaden your own horizons.
7. Talk to him. Try to get to know him a little by discussing things you have in common. A good way to start a conversation is to ask him a question. Listen to him and don't interrupt him when he is talking. You could even compliment him or ask for help.
8. Make him feel special. There's got to be a reason that you want him to notice you, and that's because you noticed him first. Let him know--subtly--that you're interested in who he is, that you respect something about him, and that you sincerely want to get to know him better.
9. Be brave and stand up for who you are, and what you believe in. Ultimately, this will catch the attention and respect of someone who is going to work well for you, even if it turns out not to be this guy.

Tips

* Be sure to have gum, breath mints, Listerine strips, etc. around in case you need to freshen up quickly, especially if you're hoping to start a conversation.
* It's always a good idea to keep yourself well-groomed. While there are guys who get uncomfortable and intimidated if you're all dolled up, it never hurts to stick to a few hygiene basics: shower daily, brush your teeth regularly, use deodorant, keep your hair decent (not perfect, but decent), and take care of your skin. Better yet, stay healthy!
* Speak your mind. You're not a drone, and any guy worth having will love it. Just don't scare them by going into a spiel. It's a turn-on to see a girl who loves her mind, not one who's bent on world domination. Likewise, don't get caught up in complaining (about yourself, others, your circumstances). Negativity pushes others away, and it lowers your self-esteem.
* If you cannot relate to any of his interests, or even make a genuine effort to get into it, there will never be ground for a lasting relationship anyway. Dump your intentions now.
* Being too straightforward might mean leaving him bored. One way to get someone's attention is to make him curious, and that means leaving him guessing to some degree.

Warnings

* Be careful whose attention you're getting, and what kind of attention you're earning. Being noticed by a sleazy guy who'll pressure you to do things you don't want to do or a needy guy who'll cling to you and make you feel limited is something you can avoid by being wary.
* You can't get everyone to notice you. Remember that guys come and go, so do not stress yourself if things do not work out in your favor. You are a normal, complete person all on your own, and you don't need a guy's attention to be happy.
* Being too obsessive can do the opposite of what you want to achieve, pushing him farther away. If he just won't become attracted to you, leave it alone. Do not push it, or things might get ugly, and you'll earn a bad reputation.

How to Date on a Budget

Tue, 15 May 2007 21:00:32 GMT

Once upon a time a cheap date used to be a movie and a bite afterwards. Not so anymore! That might sound like a fairy tale, but it is the truth. A movie and popcorn is one of the most expensive dates there is today, unless you figure a burger and coke! Sure, thats cheap, but what do you do before or after? A little thought on your part, and the right girl, can make a great date, and still leave some change in your pocket.
Steps

1.
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The first date should be a meeting to see if you both enjoy the same things. and how well you relate to each other. Ask her out for a cup of coffee or ice cream. Take a walk. Talk on the telephone, or email. Learn what means a lot to her, and the things that she enjoys doing. This information will enable you to prepare for the first actual date. You cannot plan, for instance, a picnic in the park, if the girl is used to eating at the Ritz.
2. Have coffee in a large bookstore cafe, and look through the books, or music to get an idea of what she enjoys. If she looks interested in any particular items that they sell, or the candy on display, mark it down to memory. These things are useful when holidays or special moments come around, or when you want to just give her a gift to please her.
3.
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Scan the newspapers for interesting places to visit. There usually is a concert in the park, or perhaps in the Mall. This can be great fun and is an inexpensive 'date'. This also could be quite romantic, if you hold hands while walking to find a seat, or just walking the Mall. Just remember to bring her a small gift when you picked her up. Did you remember what she was looking at when you met at the bookstore? She will be surprised and pleased that you noticed and remembered!
4.
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For women who like the outdoors,spend the day on a nature trail, in the park, or on the beach and pack a picnic lunch with her favorite foods to make it extra special. End the day, by having a movie night for two, with candy and home-popped popcorn. Go together, and pick out a movie that you both would enjoy.
5.
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A woman likes to know her man is happy with her wherever they go. Show her affection, hold her close, and let her know that you enjoy being with her. Lunch at a fast food place, will seem like a great place to eat, because you are enjoying just being together. Meet with friends later, for coffee and dessert. When the relationship is a good one, you do not have to spend a lot of money because she will be happy just to be with you. Even if you only spend the day walking in the park. While walking you get to know each other better, and will have things to talk about when you date again.

Tips

* Hunt for gift items, at discount stores. Buy greeting cards, for all occasions, and the Dollar Card Stores. It is not the price that counts, it is the thought. Make a card yourself, and add your own words and thoughts.
* If you like to cook, pasta dinner, with salad and inexpensive wine, makes for a great budget dinner. Do not forget to have candles on the table, for that romantic touch.
* If you are really on a budget, you can borrow movies from the library for free.

Warnings

* Be wary of women who window shop with you, and only show you the most expensive items. Watch to see if she orders the most expensive meal on the menu, or discusses expensive ways to spend the day. All she wants is someone to pay her way, and is probably not there for a long term relationship. When the money goes, so will she!

How to Have a First Kiss

Tue, 15 May 2007 21:00:06 GMT

Are you ready to be kissed? Here are some ways to make it perfect. Good luck!
Steps

1. Get together. When you find someone you really like, ask the person out.
2. Be sure to communicate with them. Share your feelings so they feel comfortable around you.
3. Make sure you brush your teeth in the morning. There is nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath.
4. Lean your head on their shoulder as if you are about to fall asleep. Look up at them - if their hand goes around to let you in, go for the kiss. If not, they are not ready.
5. Relax and be at ease about it all. If they do not go for the kiss, accept it and don't push.

Tips

* Keep in mind that many are shy about kissing--but this doesn't mean they don't want to kiss you. Pay attention to body language. If you think your someone might be suffering from this ailment, try kissing them! Just be mindful of their reaction. If they pull away, or are angry, be mature about it, and don't take it personally. Maybe you should try again later
* The fastest way to have a first kiss is just to get close to the person and kiss them. Most people won't complain.
* If you don't mind having an impersonal first kiss, join in on a game of Truth or Dare. The most popular dare is to kiss someone. Be warned though: you may end up kissing someone you don't much fancy (unless you get a friend to dare your crush to kiss you). The same is true for Spin the Bottle.
* Don't change for them - stay the same.

Warnings

* Make sure you don't have any food stuck in your teeth.
* Make sure your breath smells good.
* Watch out for mono and colds.

How to Make Your Boyfriend Kiss You

Tue, 15 May 2007 20:59:30 GMT

Have you started a relationship with that special guy, but you're not quite sure how to get that kiss you've been longing for? If you're too shy to take the initiative, there are a few ways to pique your gentleman's interest to the point where you'll get that long-awaited smooch.
Steps

1. Brush your teeth before you get together. There's nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath, or someone who still has leftovers stuck between their pearly whites.
2. Break the "touch barrier." Touch his elbow, hold hands, put a hand on his knee. Breaking this barrier will help both of you get past some of the hangups the two of you may have about physical contact.
3. Be mentally prepared as the moment approaches. Most first kisses happen toward the end of a date. Visualize in your mind what you want to have happen.
4. Look him in the eyes and bite your lower lip slightly. You should smile gently.
5. Take a few steps forward and touch his elbow. By this time, he should lean forward and kiss you.
6. When he starts to close his eyes, close yours and lean forward slightly. He'll be more than happy to do the work.
7. When you do kiss him, don't rush off to tell everyone. Some guys are shy and won't appreciate you sharing something between the two of you with all your friends.

Tips

* If you don't get the kiss the first time you try for it, don't sweat it. Some guys are more shy than others when it comes to physical contact.
* If you're lucky enough to get the kiss, follow it where it may go. If his kiss is soft, respond with a soft touch of your own.
* If you are upfront about kissing, then just ask him what he would do if you kissed him.
* If you're going for a kiss goodnight, linger at the door for a moment. Break that "touch barrier" again. Look into his eyes and smile as you stand close to him, with your shoulders square to his.
* Make sure you pop in some mints before you kiss!

Warnings

* Kissing can lead to other activities of a more physical nature. Know where you want the encounter to lead, and don't go any further than what your mind says is right.
* If your man hasn't kissed you after five dates, it's probably time to either talk about it - but don't just call off the relationship; he may have a very valid reason for refraining!
* Just be careful; don't let him hurt you!

Taylor can do it 5 times in one day

Tue, 15 May 2007 16:06:14 GMT

Kristin, 29, acupuncturist, & Taylor, 29, music industry sales executive
Dating for five years

• For Valentine’s Day, she gave him a nude portrait of herself; it hangs in their bedroom
• Both prefer afternoon sex
• Favorite foreplay: play-wrestling
• Her first impression: He’d either break her heart or marry her. They’re engaged.
• Once broke the bed during sex—at his parent’s house

Kristin: “We’re both pretty busy, so we can go weeks without having sex—and then spend a Saturday or Sunday doing nothing but. It helps that Taylor has more stamina and a quicker recovery time than any other guy I’ve been with. He can have an orgasm then keep going until I have one. It’s awesome!”

Taylor: “I didn’t realize that was something special. I just focus on making sure that she enjoys it as much as I do. We’ve also figured out one particular position, with her on top but leaning all the way back so that she can rest her elbows on the bed, that keeps me from climaxing until she does.”

Kristin: “When we’re on vacation—when we’re relaxed and our inhibitions are way down—it’s even better. One time we met up in Paris after some time apart. We checked into our hotel and had sex, walked around a bit, went back to the room and had sex, went to dinner and had sex again before going to sleep. The next day we headed to the coast and did it all over again: sex, beach, sex, lunch, sex, snorkeling…. The whole week was like that.”

Taylor: “We both have pretty high libidos, but I think we’re still so addicted to each other because we make an effort to keep things exciting by never getting stuck in a routine: Sometimes we’ll do it with the lights off, sometimes with them on or we’ll hit the couch, a chair, the floor. Maybe as we get older, we won’t be able to keep up this pace, but who knows?”

“We met during a three-way” Lesbian Spank Inferno

Tue, 15 May 2007 16:05:05 GMT

“We met during a three-way”

Christine, 24, carpenter, & Shanynn, 33, behavioral therapist
Dating for a year and a half

• Shanynn had never had a threesome before; Christine had
• Christine got down on one knee and asked Shanynn out
• Love to go shopping together
• Christine is usually the one on top
• Both think the other is sexiest without makeup

Shanynn: “My girlfriend of three years and I had only had sex once in a year and a half, otherwise known as lesbian bed death. We had discussed having a three-way to get the spark back. One night she pointed out this cute girl in a bar and I thought, Why not?”

Christine: “I figured they were being friendly. I had no idea what they had planned!”

Shanynn: “I’d always waited at least three months before having sex with someone. But it was liberating to have sex with a complete stranger just because I thought she was sexy. And it had been so long since I’d had any sort of affection, I’d forgotten how amazing it was.”

Christine: “I felt good about being able to help them with their relationship, but I didn’t expect anything to come of it because I was looking for a serious monogamous partner.”

Shanynn: “Well, it didn’t fix my relationship, but Chris and I became friends as I was going through my breakup.”

Christine: “Within a month and a half we were dating.”

Shanynn: “At first, I wondered if she did this all the time, and if I could trust her. And I was insecure about what she thought of me for doing it! We eventually realized that even though how we met was unusual, we were really compatible. I’ve been more open about myself with Christine than anyone else, and it’s helped me discover how important good communication and emotional intimacy are for good sex. We have lots of sex, but we both agree: no more three-ways!”

The sex diaries: what other couples are doing in bed

Tue, 15 May 2007 16:04:23 GMT

“We like to read erotica”

Alexis, 23, editorial assistant at a publishing company, & Geoffrey, 21, electrician
Dating for 10 months

• Were friends for nine years before they started dating
• Favorite book: The Evil Queen: A Pornolexicology
• She’d like to get into role-playing and be the “naughty librarian”
• They’ve had sex on the balcony of their apartment
• Set the alarm 10 minutes early to get in daily cuddling time

Alexis: “When I was in my teens, I stumbled upon a copy of Story of O —the classic erotic novel—and it made quite an impression on me. But I didn’t start seeking out erotic literature until years later. It’s been part of my masturbatory repertoire for a while, but I’d never shared it with anyone before Geoffrey.”

Geoffrey: “I knew that Alexis was into erotica and even wrote some, but I hadn’t read any. Then one night she started reading The Evil Queen to me. Her voice was so nice that I closed my eyes—and fell sleep! That’s never happened again, though, because the next time I kept my eyes on her face as she read. The expressions she makes drive me crazy. I’m usually ready to go halfway into a story, but she makes me wait till the end…then I jump her.”

Alexis: “Or I jump him! Unlike porn, where seeing a bad boob job can be a major buzzkill for me, the characters in an erotic story can look like Jessica Alba and Johnny Depp because they’re in your head. And the storylines are much more satisfying than the tired old ‘the plumber comes to fix something and suddenly his pants are gone’ porn scenarios. If it’s written well, even a story about plain vanilla sex can be a turn on.”

Geoffrey: “Even though we watch porn together sometimes, it’s much more exciting for us as a couple to read erotic stories. It gets both of our imaginations working. And although we haven’t acted out any of the stories—yet!—we do get lots of ideas for positions.”

Hayden Panettiere Keeps Getting Better

Tue, 15 May 2007 15:55:45 GMT

So, Heroes is still, by far, the most awesomest show on TV, and the more I watch it, the more Hayden Panettiere is growing on me. I'm was hoping not to have to bring up the whole under-age issue, but a couple of these pictures make it really hard to ignore. You know which ones I'm talking about.

Anyway, Hayden once again looks great, and so does her mega-hottie co-star, Ali Larter, though the whole Nikki/Jessica split personality thing is still pretty lame, if you ask me. Though, it did pay off a bit in last night's episode. One question I have is, why don't they bring back the whole online stripper thing? That's probably the best superpower there is.

YouOS is a piece of crap no one uses

Tue, 15 May 2007 14:07:54 GMT

“YouOS is an experiment. We asked ourselves if this was even possible without caring about if this is the "future" or not. There's the whole concept of the "network is the computer" - we're not out to prove that that model works, but mainly that it's possible and go from there.”

YouOS is an experimental web desktop produced by WebShaka that replicates the desktop environment of a modern operating system on a webpage, using Javascript to communicate with the remote server. This allows users to save an environment to return to later, and for multiple users to collaborate using a single environment. The software is currently in alpha stage.

An easy-to-use application-development API is provided for YouOS, as an IDE is in development. This has allowed for the creation of over 640 applications for YouOS (description by Wikipedia).

1.You OS has the main functions of a desktop environment, what is missing and what are the defects?

YouOS is limited by what the browser can do. For instance, we cannot do 3D graphics very easily, as browsers do not natively support it. We also have limited access to mouse and keyboard controls. We cannot open sockets to arbitrary servers. Thus, YouOS does not have the full functionality of a desktop application. As browsers become increasingly more powerful, the power of the YouOS desktop will increase with it.

2. Isn't YouOS the proof that current operating systems are too complex and too heavy? Could people that use their PC in a simple and domestic way do with YouOS only?

Yes, for the majority of users, a PC is a conduit for two actions: checking email and surfing the web. Current operating systems are too heavy for such actions. Theoretically, we could combine a basic distribution of Linux, Firefox, and YouOS to provide a compact, secure, and remote desktop out of the box.

3. Online operating systems, is this the future or just a valid support? Are Internet users ready for this step?

Internet users are not yet ready for this step, at least not in its current form. Our view is that there will be many more iterations and refinements in this space. We just want to get in early on an experimental level. The "web desktop" of tomorrow will almost certainly look entirely different - possibly more like a wiki and less like a desktop.

4. What are the minimum requirements to fully use YouOS? Both in terms of hardware and software and in terms of know how.

For hardware, any reasonable modern machine (P4 or higher) with access to the internet will work. For software, we need the user to use either Firefox or Internet Explorer. As for know how, YouOS is a new system and there are many parts that are not intuitive. We hope to work on that over time.

5. When did you get the idea of a web based operating system? Was it something you felt you needed?

YouOS is an experiment. We asked ourselves if this was even possible without caring about if this is the "future" or not. There's the whole concept of the "network is the computer" - we're not out to prove that that model works, but mainly that it's possible and go from there.

6. What are the main advantages of an operating system like YouOS?

It follows you around where you go. You can immediately share applications and data with friends. It will not destroy the local computer you are working on, as it is sandboxed. It's free, of course :)

7. Currently, to use YouOS, it is still necessary to have an operating system installed on your PC. Do you think that in the future it will be possible to change this and it will be possible to use it on a PC without an operating system installed, for example using a mini client? Do you have in mind any further implementations?

As I mentioned, it would be trivial to distribute YouOS on top of a small linux distribution and firefox. We already have experimented with LiveCD distributions with limited success.

8. What is your recurring dream after inventing YouOS?

That we give the world a different way of interacting with computers - ideally a world where a computer "just works" in the same way your TV just works. Like Cable-TV technicians do most of their work behind the scenes, we want YouOS engineers to do the same.

9. Do you think YouOS can be adopted by companies in the near future?

It's already being adopted by one large (Fortune 500) companies for internal use - mainily to foster experimentation and collaboration. They like the app building process.

10. 2020: how do you see the world of operating systems? Will Microsoft still exist? If so, with what role?

We don't know what 2010 looks like, much less 2020. I'll guess that Microsoft will exist at that point, but that they will not be making most of their profits from Operating Systems then.

11. What do you think of the Open Source movement?

Our product would not be possible without Open Source. Our client code is already open source and we're seriously considering making the entire code base open source.

12. What applications can be installed on YouOS? Are you expecting to increase this number?

All applications on YouOS have to be written specifically for YouOS. This is quite a limitation and we're looking into making this easier. Currently, there are some 400+ released applications, with about 10 new ones appearing every week.

John Travolta likes it from behind!

Sun, 13 May 2007 17:55:34 GMT

John Travolta likes it from behind!

The Saturday Night Live actor dusted off his old white suit for a 70s themed party on Saturday night at the weekend-long celebration of the opening of The Cove at Atlantic in Paradise Island, the Bahamas.

Poor Stevie Wonder.

Hope he was lubed up!

Does LL Have Another Summer Fling In The Works? with Calum Best

Sun, 13 May 2007 16:00:28 GMT

Lindsay spent all last summer literally attached to Harry Morton. Since then, she's been linked to several different guys, but lately she only has eyes for Calum Best. Now, this is all a little premature but we want to know - do you think Lindsay is on the verge of another summer romance?

Sean Preston Finally Earns His Cowboy Hat

Sun, 13 May 2007 11:52:18 GMT

Sean Preston is really looking like his mother's son here. This weekend Britney took her eldest son with her to the tanning salon while showing off the fact that her legs are looking pretty stellar these days. Seeing SP in that cowboy hat seems so perfect, I can't believe she's never done it before.

'Idol' mania hits home as Blake Lewis returns

Sun, 13 May 2007 11:51:15 GMT

While Blakemania took over the region Friday, its object, "American Idol" finalist Blake Lewis, kept his cool.

Lewis attracted several thousand fans at events in Bothell and downtown Seattle.

On Tuesday, Lewis will try to outperform fellow contestants Jordin Sparks and Melinda Doolittle to stay in the competition. Until then, he's basking in hometown love.

At an afternoon parade and concert in Bothell, an estimated 5,000 to 7,000 people screamed, cheered and followed Bothell's favorite son. Lewis, seated between his mother, who was wearing a Blaker Girls T-shirt, and his father, rode in a blue Mustang convertible. He blew kisses, waved and at one point stood up in the car and gave his fans a hand.

Ear-piercing shrieks followed Lewis down Main Street to Bothell Landing, where fans ignored police requests to stay back. The crowd weaved between cars stopped on Bothell Way and state Route 527. Cyclists on the Burke-Gilman Trail paused to take in the spectacle.

Everyone said they'd never seen such a huge crowd in Bothell, not even for the Fourth of July.

Among those greeting him was Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck. A fax from Paula Abdul arrived announcing that next week Blake would sing "Roxanne." Lewis took the stage, thanked the crowd for their warm support and sang five songs.

At the start of the parade, Jonathan Douglas, 8, held a sign declaring himself Lewis' No. 1 fan.

"I like the beatboxing he's been doing. I think he's going to go all the way," the youngster said.

His mother, Marie Douglas, said, "He's like a breath of fresh air because he's so different. She added that she couldn't tell her son they were going to see Lewis on Friday or the boy wouldn't have been able to fall asleep.

One thing Lewis didn't do was predict that he's going to win the competition. That, he said, likely would happen for Sparks, the teenager from Glendale, Ariz.

But Lewis, 25, who has been noticed on the show for his smooth voice, rhythms, funky style and frosted locks, was cool with that. During morning interviews at KCPQ/13, he said his first goal was to get into the to top 10, and then the top four.

Of course, he wouldn't mind winning, either.

"If it happens, great. If not, I'm so happy I got sent home yesterday. When I made the goal of the top four, that was the goal," said Lewis, who said his musical heroes are the band 311 and musician/producer BT.

And despite criticism of too much beatboxing in his performances, he said he won't shy away if it feels right.

"If I feel the performance needs it, I don't care," he said. "I've gotten, you know, criticism for my hair and wearing the wrong shirt. Criticism's criticism. It doesn't really affect me."

He seems to be handling life in the fast lane of instant fame well -- whether performing with Six Mix-A-Lot, beatboxing, signing autographs, posing for pictures and fielding the questions like a pro.

Knees bouncing and right hand "air mixing" in his trademark dance style, Lewis performed five songs at Westlake, including Keane's "Somewhere Only We Know" and Jamiroquai's "Virtual Insanity." He also did an original song, "She Loves the Way," and he backed up special guest Sir Mix-A-Lot on the rapper's famous "Baby Got Back."

After taking the stage with local band Ari Sawkadoria, Lewis looked at the crowd and said, "Seattle, say hello to 'American Idol,' " and a cameraman on stage turned his lens to the cheering throng. The hometown visit is being filmed by the show and the footage will appear on Wednesday's show. The other two finalists were getting similar treatment in their hometowns Friday.

Sir Mix gave Lewis plenty of respect. "I've been wanting to do this ever since I saw this cat on TV," he told the crowd. "Every time you see 'American Idol,' you see people who can sing, and that's it. This cat got real talent."

Local pride was on display, along with signs of support. The messages ranged from "Blake is a hottie," to "Blake, U R the bomb," to "Vote for Blake." Handpainted T-shirts proclaimed, "I heart heart heart Blake," and "Marry me, Blake."

Pat Monahan, lead singer of Train, whipped up the crowd ranging from newborns to middle-age moms and dads, by introducing Lewis as: "your own, your one and only American Idol, Mr. Blake Lewis."

Not surprisingly, many there were teen and preteen girls, some of whom had skipped school to follow their idol.

Time and again, fans said Lewis is bringing something different to "American Idol."

Paula Rogers, 31, brought her son Wyatt, 22 months, with a "Vote for Blake" sticker on his baby backpack. "I just fell in love with Blake Lewis on this show, because I feel like he changed 'American Idol' with a new sound," said Rogers, who added that the show usually sounds so Top 40 and predictable. She owns Nectar, a Fremont lounge where Lewis has performed numerous times.

Kayleigh Olds, 14, of Graham had secured her spot front and center with three friends by showing up at 8 a.m.

"He doesn't try to copy the song exactly. He makes it his own," she said.

Diana Ortiz, 19, who traveled with a friend from Vancouver, Canada, to see Lewis perform, said he's unique. "I think he's the only one who doesn't care when the judges say 'Do this or do that,' " she said. "He's true to himself."

Before reading a proclamation, Seattle City Councilwoman Jean Godden -- clad in a hot pink blouse and a black leather jacket -- shouted to the feverish crowd, "What's today?!"

"Blake Lewis Day!!" they shouted back.

The proclamation ended, "And, whereas all of Seattle anticipates that Blake Lewis will become the next 'American Idol,' therefore be it resolved by the city of Seattle that May 11 be proclaimed as Blake Lewis Day."

In between the morning public events and the midday concert, Lewis snagged some private time with friends at the Space Needle, resting his voice. Then he rode the monorail over to Westlake Center. On Thursday night he had a rehearsal and a private party with friends before staying at a downtown hotel. He said he planned to catch the Blue Scholars at The Showbox Friday night.

The biggest question that trailed Lewis from event to event was whether his voice can sustain a long day of singing, interviews, fan interaction and more. He had moments of hoarseness, but fans hope three days of rest before the next "Idol" sing-off will help.

His prescription for handling all the hype and the pressure is: "Keep doing me. Keep true to myself." He later added: "I just hope everyone sees how much fun I'm having, because I'm having a blast. The only thing I hope comes across is that I'm communicating my song well with everyone each week."

His main ambition, he said, is to pursue his music. A lifelong dream, he added, is to host and be the musical guest on "Saturday Night Live."

He did drop that he hasn't lived by the curfew the show sets for its contestants and goes out just about every night -- to see live music.

"They call me the rebel for that," he said. "I'm not 12 and I don't need to be baby-sat. For me, I get all my inspiration from going to live music and being around passionate people."

Friday morning at the KCPG/13 studios he performed "All Mixed Up" live, followed by some freestyling with the aid of his loop machine and a chaos pad.

Lewis said the hometown support, especially for an "eclectic artist," has been amazing. He called the "American Idol" winnowing process and its attendant fame "surreal," and said he hadn't watched the show before auditioning.

"I'm kind of a hermit," he said. "I stick to music."

Sanjaya gets hero's welcome, Blake Lewis gets hometown parade

Sun, 13 May 2007 11:50:05 GMT

Teenage fans of "American Idol" reject Sanjaya Malakar gave him an enthusiastic welcome home, while admirers of Idol finalist Blake Lewis were anticipating a mini-concert in downtown Seattle and a parade in his hometown of Bothell.

About 600 Idol fans shrieked, asked for autographs, invited him to their prom, and posed for pictures with 17-year-old Malakar at a Federal Way shopping center on Wednesday. Malakar was voted off the show April 18.

Amanda Reed of Federal Way waited for more than five hours with her mom and her brother to be first in line to get Malakar's autograph.

"She was like a kid before Christmas," said Laurie Reed, Amanda's mother.

Malakar, accompanied by bodyguards, police officers and his mom and sister, signed 200 autographs, and mall officials passed out another 200 pre-signed autographs for each donation of $1 or more to World Vision, a Federal Way-based humanitarian organization.

Lewis, 25, is scheduled to perform at 12:15 p.m. Friday in downtown Seattle's Westlake Park and then head to his suburban hometown for a Main Street parade at 4 p.m. He's also scheduled to sing the National Anthem at the Yankees-Mariners game at 7 p.m.

Lewis' visit will be filmed for next week's "American Idol."

Hot blonde chick 20 years robs Wachovia bank in TExAS

Sat, 12 May 2007 12:51:26 GMT

lance photos from an afternoon bank robbery today show a woman with a ponytail and a University of Texas cap walking into the Wachovia Bank in Northwest Austin.

Austin police said the woman, wearing a red sweater jacket and stone-washed jeans, demanded cash from a teller at 12:58 p.m. She then fled on foot with an undisclosed amount of cash from the bank at 8045 Mesa Drive.

Police said the woman is in her mid- to late 20s, has blonde shoulder-length hair and blue eyes. The woman is between 5-foot-2 inches and 5-foot-3 inches tall and weighs 115 to 120 pounds.

Police are asking anyone with information about the incident to call the Robbery tip line at 974-5092. This is the fifth bank robbery of 2007 in Austin.

Oral sex can cause throat cancer

Sat, 12 May 2007 12:27:07 GMT

People who have had more than five oral-sex partners in their lifetime are 250% more likely to have throat cancer than those who do not have oral sex, a new study suggests.

The researchers believe this is because oral sex may transmit human papillomavirus (HPV), the virus implicated in the majority of cervical cancers.

The new findings should encourage people to consistently use condoms during oral sex as this could protect against HPV, the team says. Other experts say that the results provide more reason for men to receive the new HPV vaccine.

Maura Gillison at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore, Maryland, US, and colleagues collected blood and saliva samples from the throats of 100 patients diagnosed with cancers of the tonsils or back of the throat. The scientists also took samples from 200 healthy people for comparison.

By combining the blood and saliva samples with antibody molecules, Gillison's team could tell whether a person had ever had an HPV infection.
Cancer traps

All of the study participants provided information about their sexual history, including the number of people with whom they had engaged in oral sex.

After controlling for other risk factors for throat cancer, such as drinking and smoking, the analysis revealed that people who had prior infection with HPV were 32 times as likely to have this cancer as those with no evidence of ever having the virus. And those who tested positive for a particularly aggressive strain of the virus, called HPV-16, were 58 times more likely to have throat cancer.

By comparison, either smoking or drinking increases the risk of such cancer by about threefold.

The throat cancers analysed in the new study mostly started in the "crypts" of the throat – the grooves at the base of the tonsils. This might be because the tonsil grooves trap infectious particles, suggests Mark Stoler of the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, US, who was not involved in the study.
High risk levels

The study also revealed a link between oral sex and throat cancer caused by HPV. People who had one to five oral-sex partners in their lifetime had approximately a doubled risk of throat cancer compared with those who never engaged in this activity - and those with more than five oral-sex partners had a 250% increased risk.

There was an even stronger link between oral sex and throat cancers clearly caused by HPV-16 (those tumours that tested positive for the strain). People with more than five oral sex partners had a 750% increased risk of these HPV-16-caused cancers.

"This study is important because it is putting all of the pieces together," says Gillison. "We need to add oral HPV infection to the list of risks for oral cancer," she adds.
Virus vaccine

A vaccine against several of the most aggressive strains of HPV linked to cervical cancer received approval from the US Food and Drug Administration in 2006. However the plan to vaccinate adolescent girls with this vaccine developed by Merck, called Gardasil, has received some criticism.

There have been no studies investigating whether the vaccine can also protect against throat cancer, but the new evidence linking HPV to throat cancer could lead to broader vaccination with Gardasil. "We will see a push for vaccination in men," says Stoler, who has been involved in the development of the vaccine.

Tonsil and throat cancers affect about two in every 100,000 adults in the US. The new results could promote the development of spit tests for HPV infection to help identify people at high risk for these cancers, researchers say.

Lindsay Lohan caught snorting cocaine

Sat, 12 May 2007 10:43:28 GMT

A friend of Lindsay Lohan has leaked a video of Lindsay snorting cocaine and shoving it up a friend's nose while the two were crammed in a toilet at club Teddy's. The video was taken just 20 days after she left rehab and in it she's also heard saying: "I'm going to New York tomorrow to fuck Jude Law." The friend that leaked the video says she's worried about Lindsay and "that's why I'm showing this video. So the world can know what Lindsay has been doing and she can't lie about it to herself or anyone else." She also says:

"That night I saw her do more than 20 big lines of cocaine. She was still up doing drugs at 11am even though she had started about 8pm the night before. She wasn't even trying to hide it and was blatantly doing it off table tops, keys, books and in the wardrobe, where she was hunched over with her legs crossed almost bent in half doing it off some magazine on the floor. I remember looking at her and thinking how pathetic she looked and how out of control she had become. When she is on coke, which is most of the time, all the attention has to be on her. I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone. Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out. One night we had gone back to her place and, as always, as soon as she walked through the door she stripped down to her thong, bent down and snorted cocaine off her coffee table and then off her toilet seat. She has told me that she has slept with James Blunt, Jude Law, Calum Best, Joaquin Phoenix, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Leto and James Franco. She loves Brits and has told me she has slept with the singer James Blunt a few times over the past month. The last time was on April 15 after another house party. I think they went back to a hotel together afterwards. She is very protective over him and when she heard I had met him she sent me a text saying, 'Stay away from him Bitch, he is mine.' Lindsay told me she has messed around with Leonardo DiCaprio a while ago too but claimed that she didn't sleep with him. She also flew to New York about two months ago to go to bed with Jude Law. Last November she slept with Calum Best. She didn't tell me if he was any good but she is usually too wasted to know what is going on anyway. Going to rehab was all for publicity. She wanted people to see her seeking help but it hasn't got her off the drugs at all. In an average night Lindsay will do two and half grams of coke on her own. She doesn't buy it - she is given it by friends and acquaintances, and it turns her into an angry monster. I have watched many a time Lindsay treating her staff like crap."

I know you were tempted to skip that giant quote above, but do yourself a favor and read it. It's not like anybody believed Lindsay was sober, but this is just ridiculous. If Skeletor wrote an autobiography it'd probably be less dramatic.

One CISCO gets award for longest Commute 7 hours

Fri, 11 May 2007 16:14:08 GMT

Last year, Midas, the muffler company, in honor of its fiftieth anniversary, gave an award for America’s longest commute to an engineer at Cisco Systems, in California, who travels three hundred and seventy-two miles—seven hours—a day, from the Sierra foothills to San Jose and back. “It’s actually exhilarating,” the man said of his morning drive. “When I get in, I’m pumped up, ready to go.” People like to compare commutes, to complain or boast about their own and, depending on whether their pride derives from misery or efficiency, to exaggerate the length or the brevity of their trip. People who feel they have smooth, manageable commutes tend to evangelize. Those who hate the commute think of it as a core affliction, like a chronic illness. Once you raise the subject, the testimonies pour out, and, if your ears are tuned to it, you begin overhearing commute talk everywhere: mode of transport, time spent on train/interstate/treadmill/homework help, crossword-puzzle aptitude—limitless variations on a stock tale. People who are normally circumspect may, when describing their commutes, be unexpectedly candid in divulging the intimate details of their lives. They have it all worked out, down to the number of minutes it takes them to shave or get stuck at a particular light. But commuting is like sex or sleep: everyone lies. It is said that doctors, when they ask you how much you drink, will take the answer and double it. When a commuter says, “It’s an hour, door-to-door,” tack on twenty minutes.

Seven hours is extraordinary, but four hours, increasingly, is not. Roughly one out of every six American workers commutes more than forty-five minutes, each way. People travel between counties the way they used to travel between neighborhoods. The number of commuters who travel ninety minutes or more each way—known to the Census Bureau as “extreme commuters”—has reached 3.5 million, almost double the number in 1990. They’re the fastest-growing category, the vanguard in a land of stagnant wages, low interest rates, and ever-radiating sprawl. They’re the talk-radio listeners, billboard glimpsers, gas guzzlers, and swing voters, and they don’t—can’t—watch the evening news. Some take on long commutes by choice, and some out of necessity, although the difference between one and the other can be hard to discern. A commute is a distillation of a life’s main ingredients, a product of fundamental values and choices. And time is the vital currency: how much of it you spend—and how you spend it—reveals a great deal about how much you think it is worth.

This winter, a friend told me about a colleague of hers named Judy Rossi, a legal secretary at Arnold & Porter, a firm in Manhattan, who has a commute of three hours and fifteen minutes each way—six and a half hours a day, five days a week. If you discount vacation time, this adds up to two months a year. Rossi lives in Pike County, Pennsylvania, in the northeast corner of the state. (It is the fastest-growing county in Pennsylvania, owing in part to an infusion of extreme commuters.) Her alarm goes off at 4:30 A.M. She’s out of the house by six-fifteen and at her desk at nine-thirty. She gets home each evening at around eight-forty-five. The first thing Rossi said to me, when we met during her lunch break one day, was “I am not insane.”

Rossi has an extensive commuter career; it encapsulates a broad range of fortunes. She is fifty-seven years old. Born and reared in Flatbush, Brooklyn, she married at the age of twenty and had a son, but was divorced after four years. She paid her lawyer by going to work for him as a secretary. For ten years, she took the subway to his office in Manhattan every day—an hour and a half each way. When the neighborhood began to change, in the early eighties—when her son could no longer ride his bicycle around the corner without being pushed off it—she moved upstate, to Orange County, a burgeoning exurb. She married a firefighter, with whom she commuted to the city by motorcycle (an hour and a half each way). She would sometimes fall asleep on the back. His firehouse was in the South Bronx; he’d drop her off at a subway station nearby, and she’d complete the journey to midtown. He died in 1999. Five years ago, she bought four acres in Pike County, on the outskirts of Milford, and built her dream house there, a piece of the country, a place to retire. For a while, she tried driving, but found that her fatigue at the end of the day made the trip treacherous. And it got expensive—gas, tolls, tires. The bus was cheaper, but it depressed her. So she began to take the train, which (with parking) costs her four hundred dollars a month. This does not include the cost of her reading material, which Rossi, employing prison logic, treats as a kind of tinder for the burning of time. “Books cost money”—she doesn’t have time to go to a library—“so I try to stretch them out,” she told me. Still, she reads a book a week.

One evening, Rossi let me tag along. I met her in the lobby of her office building, on Lexington Avenue, at Fifty-third Street. It was five-thirty. Out of haste rather than rudeness, she didn’t stop to greet me but headed through the revolving doors and diagonally across the avenue, toward the subway entrance. She wore a down overcoat, a red backpack, a pin that read “I [heart] my dog,” a fortifying layer of makeup, and an expression of wry resignation. Her trip home consists of a subway ride on the E train to Pennsylvania Station (seventeen minutes), a New Jersey Transit train to Secaucus (eleven minutes), and a transfer there to a train that heads northwest to the end of the line, in Port Jervis, New York (two hours). From there, she drives across the Delaware River into Pennsylvania (thirty minutes). Missing the six-eighteen to Port Jervis can cost her an additional twenty-one minutes, so she has crafted a commute with just enough slack time (a total of about fifteen minutes) to keep it anxiety-free. She’s an escalator-stander. “I hate running for trains,” she said.

The commuter takes on compulsive attributes. Some people decipher where on a subway train it is best to ride, for optimum exiting, and, therefore, where to stand on the platform, by a particular pay phone or blackened patch of gum. On the E train, Rossi knows where she should be—the front positions her best for Penn Station—but she prefers to be farther back, where it is less crowded. Also, she never boards any train’s first or last car. “If there’s an accident, they’re the first to go off the track,” she said. On the subway, she always stands, and never reads, for fear of missing her stop. She stood on the next train, too—the five-fifty-two to Long Branch, first stop Secaucus. “We’ll make it fine, unless we get stuck in the tunnel,” she said, then added quickly, “I shouldn’t say that.”

In Secaucus, she joined other regulars out on the platform. One of them was a man who works at an auto-parts dealership in Queens, commuting two hours each way from Harriman, New York. He had on a T-shirt that said “Daytona Bike Week 2007,” and in 1995 he was one number away from winning ten million dollars in the lottery. He reasoned that he makes thirty-five per cent more money working in the city than he would near home. Rossi, whose salary is under a hundred thousand dollars, estimates that she makes twice as much, although it’s been years since she actually looked.

The train arrived, and we sat down, finally. From the backpack Rossi produced some photographs of her house, her swimming pool, and her granddaughter: her recompense, her consolation. “I keep these pictures above my desk at work,” she said. “Whenever I get fed up, I look at these and say, ‘That’s why I commute.’ ” Her son lives with his wife and two children in a separate house on the lot; unable to endure the same commute, he found a job working for Orange County, half an hour away. The property is surrounded by woods. Deer come and go. In her calculations, such blandishments outweigh the inconveniences and squandered hours.

At Harriman, most of the passengers disembarked, and Rossi removed her coat and put her bag on the floor. She took out her book, a James Patterson hardcover. For an hour, the train rattled through the night. Middletown, Otisville, Port Jervis, the end of the line. With keys in hand, she stepped out onto an open-air platform. The parking lot was part of a larger one abutting a mall. The night was dead-battery cold. “It’s a half hour from here,” she said.

Her car, a Toyota hatchback, smelled of cigarettes and dogs. (Rossi’s dogs—a standard poodle, a pit-lab, and a bichon frise—pass the days indoors.) She put on an oldies station—the Jackson 5 serendipitously singing “I’ll Be There”—and drove along a state road past shopping centers whose varying vintages indicated the advance of rural ruin. We passed a Price Chopper market, where Rossi does her food shopping twice a month. She gave up cooking some years ago. Now she gets home, feeds her dogs, then heats up soup or pizza she buys at a pizzeria on weekends. She takes a shower and goes to bed, maybe watching a taped episode of “CSI.”

The road grew windy and dark. We pulled in to her driveway at eight-thirty-seven. The headlights washed over a single-story seventeen-hundred-square-foot clapboard ranch-style house, in a clearing. The house’s darkened windows brought to mind arriving at a borrowed country house in the dead of night. “It may not seem like it’s worth it in the winter,” she said, “but in the summer, when it’s green and lush and someone just cut his lawn and you get that smell—”

The next morning, she caught the six-fifty-four out of Port Jervis. The train was nearly empty. The conductor sat in the row in front of her, looking through a catalogue advertising semi-automatic weapons. Rossi played solitaire on a handheld device—“I try to win three games before I hit Middletown,” she said—until she dozed off. She generally sleeps for an hour. A man sat across from her tearing bank correspondence into bits, which he then stuffed into an empty plastic-foam coffee cup. The train filled up and came out of the Hudson highlands. At Secaucus, Rossi made her way to the next track. A train into Penn Station was waiting when she reached the platform, but she did not make a run for it. It pulled away without her. She’d catch the next one.

There are, of course, all kinds of commuters—from migrant workers to intercontinental business-class weekenders. Last year, the Transportation Research Board of the National Academies released an exhaustive, decennial report titled “Commuting in America III.” “What a privilege it is to work on a subject that is a source of endless interest,” its author, Alan Pisarski, wrote. Pisarski calls commuting “the interaction of demography with geography,” and the nuances are legion. (Hispanics drive alone less; women leave home later.) But the average travel time keeps going up.

Americans, for all their bellyaching, are not the world’s most afflicted commuters. They average fifty-one minutes a day, to and from work. Pity the Romanians, who average fifty-four. Or the citizens of Bangkok, who average—average!—two hours. A business trip to Bangkok will buck up the glummest Van Wyck Expressway rubbernecker; the traffic there, as in so many automobile-plagued Asian mega-capitals, is apocalyptic. In Japan, land of the bullet train, workers spend almost ninety minutes a day.

The term “commute” derives from its original meaning of “to change to another less severe.” In the eighteen-forties, the men who rode the railways each day from newly established suburbs to work in the cities did so at a reduced rate. The railroad, in other words, commuted their fares, in exchange for reliable ridership (as it still does, if you consider the monthly pass). In time, the commuted became commuters. In New York, and in cities like Philadelphia, Boston, and Chicago, railways begat reachable and desirable suburbs, so that, by the time the automobile came along, patterns of development, and a calculus of class and status, had already been established. It was this kind of commute—the forty-minute train trip, bookended by a short drive or walk or subway ride—that people grew accustomed to, and even fond of. Here was a measure of inconvenience that could be integrated into daily life, albeit with certain bleak side effects, as chronicled by John Cheever and Richard Yates. Commuting by rail became a kind of gateway drug.

Is there a perfect commute? Many citizens of Bronxville, a small, exclusive, affluent, mostly white enclave that is as close as a town can be to New York City without being part of it, would nominate theirs. A place like this could not exist, of course, without a daily influx of labor from neighboring towns. (“Every Bronxville needs its Yonkers,” the historian Kenneth T. Jackson told me.) The Bronxville commute—twenty-eight minutes from Grand Central Terminal—is a well-oiled one, and it has its proud and cagey veterans, some of them whose fathers made the same commute, back when men wore hats. Many people still walk to the train station, timing their arrival on the platform to coincide with the opening of the train’s doors. And many walk through tunnels from Grand Central to their office buildings; they hardly ever see the street.

Commuting is an exercise in repetition. The will to efficiency varies, but it expresses itself in the hardening of commuters’ habits, as they seek to alleviate the dissipation of time and sanity. Some people travel with coffee; they have a place to buy it, a preferred approach to not spilling it, a manner of discarding the cup. You can spot the novice: he’s rifling through pockets in search of his ticket, coffee bubbling up out the pinprick holes of his flattop lid, leading him to wonder how it is possible for the coffee to be leaking when the top is on tight. He has no strategy for newsprint stain. The pros have their routines. There’s a group that plays bridge on the seven-fifty-eight to Grand Central. To get in a game during the short ride, they play speed bridge, a customized version with complicated rules. They often get into game-halting arguments about these rules, so they wind up playing less bridge than they would at normal speed. Still, the fellowship, and the attempt at optimization, must bring some measure of happiness.

Nationwide, the automobile took over from the train long ago. Nine out of ten people travel to work by car, and, of those, eighty-eight per cent drive alone. The car, and the sprawl that comes with it (each—familiar story—having helped to engender and entrench the other), ushers in another kind of experience. The gray-suited armies of Cheever’s 5:48 have given way to the business-casual soloists, whose loneliness is no longer merely existential. They hardly even have the opportunity to feel estranged at home, their time there is so brief.

“Drive until you qualify” is a phrase that real-estate agents use to describe a central tenet of the commuting life: you travel away from the workplace until you reach an exit where you can afford to buy a house that meets your standards. The size of the wallet determines that of the mortgage, and therefore the length of the commute. Although there are other variables (schools, spouse, status, climate, race, religion, taxes, taste) and occasional exceptions (inner cities, Princeton), in this equation you’re trading time for space, miles for square feet. Sometimes contentment figures in, and sometimes it does not.

Commuting makes people unhappy, or so many studies have shown. Recently, the Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman and the economist Alan Krueger asked nine hundred working women in Texas to rate their daily activities, according to how much they enjoyed them. Commuting came in last. (Sex came in first.) The source of the unhappiness is not so much the commute itself as what it deprives you of. When you are commuting by car, you are not hanging out with the kids, sleeping with your spouse (or anyone else), playing soccer, watching soccer, coaching soccer, arguing about politics, praying in a church, or drinking in a bar. In short, you are not spending time with other people. The two hours or more of leisure time granted by the introduction, in the early twentieth century, of the eight-hour workday are now passed in solitude. You have cup holders for company.

“I was shocked to find how robust a predictor of social isolation commuting is,” Robert Putnam, a Harvard political scientist, told me. (Putnam wrote the best-seller “Bowling Alone,” about the disintegration of American civic life.) “There’s a simple rule of thumb: Every ten minutes of commuting results in ten per cent fewer social connections. Commuting is connected to social isolation, which causes unhappiness.”

Commuter-wise, New York City is an anomaly. New Yorkers have the highest average journey-to-work times (thirty-nine minutes) of any city in the country, but are apparently much happier with their commutes than people are elsewhere. It could be that New Yorkers are better conditioned to megalopolitan hardships, or that public transportation ameliorates some of the psychic costs. Or maybe they’re better at lying to themselves.

Drivers often say they prize the time alone—to gather their wits, listen to music, or talk on the phone. They also like the freedom, the ability, illusory though it may be, to come and go as they please; schedules can seem an imposition, as can a crowded train’s cattle-car ambience. But the driver’s seat is a lonely place. People tend to behave in their cars as though they are alone in a room. Road rage is one symptom of this; on the street or on the train, people don’t generally walk around calling each other assholes. Howard Stern is another; you can listen to lewd evocations without feeling as though you were pushing the bounds of the social contract. You could drive to work without your pants on, and no one would know.

The loneliness quotient might also account for some of the commute tolerance in New York. On the train or the bus, one can experience an illusion of fellowship, even if you disdain your fellow-passengers or are revolted by them. Perhaps there’s succor in inadvertent eye contact, the presence of a pretty woman, shared disgruntlement (over a delay or a spilled Pepsi), or the shuffle through the doors, which requires, on a subconscious level, an array of social compromises and collaborations. Train riding has other benefits. Passengers can sleep or read, send e-mails or play cards. Delays are out of their control.

Three years ago, two economists at the University of Zurich, Bruno Frey and Alois Stutzer, released a study called “Stress That Doesn’t Pay: The Commuting Paradox.” They found that, if your trip is an hour each way, you’d have to make forty per cent more in salary to be as “satisfied” with life as a noncommuter is. (Their data come from Germany, where you’d think speedy Autobahns and punctual trains would bring a little Freude to the proceedings, and their methodology is elaborate and thorough, if impenetrable to the layman, relying on equations like U=α+ß₁D+ß₂D²+γX+δ₁w+δ₂w²+δ₃log y.) The commuting paradox reflects the notion that many people, who are supposedly rational (according to classical economic theory, at least), commute even though it makes them miserable. They are not, in the final accounting, adequately compensated.

“People with long journeys to and from work are systematically worse off and report significantly lower subjective well-being,” Stutzer told me. According to the economic concept of equilibrium, people will move or change jobs to make up for imbalances in compensation. Commute time should be offset by higher pay or lower living costs, or a better standard of living. It is this last category that people apparently have trouble measuring. They tend to overvalue the material fruits of their commute—money, house, prestige—and to undervalue what they’re giving up: sleep, exercise, fun.

“They have to trade off social goods for material goods,” Stutzer said. “This is very difficult for people. They make systematic mistakes. We are very good at predicting whether we’ll like something but not at knowing for how long.” People adapt to a higher living standard but not to social isolation. Frey and Stutzer infer that some people, even when the costs become clear, just lack the will power to change. “People have limited self-control and insufficient energy, inducing some people to not even try to improve their lot,” they write. In this regard, they say, commuting resembles smoking and failing to save money.

This analysis presupposes that commuting represents what economists call a rational choice, as opposed to a constrained choice. Postwar zoning laws aggressively separated living space from commercial space, requiring more roads and parking lots—known to planners as Euclidean zoning (after a Supreme Court decision involving Euclid, Ohio), and to civilians as sprawl. Putnam likes to imagine that there is a triangle, its points comprising where you sleep, where you work, and where you shop. In a canonical English village, or in a university town, the sides of that triangle are very short: a five-minute walk from one point to the next. In many American cities, you can spend an hour or two travelling each side. “You live in Pasadena, work in North Hollywood, shop in the Valley,” Putnam said. “Where is your community?” The smaller the triangle, the happier the human, as long as there is social interaction to be had. In that kind of life, you have a small refrigerator, because you can get to the store quickly and often. By this logic, the bigger the refrigerator, the lonelier the soul.

Putnam’s favorite city is Bologna, in Italy, which has a population of three hundred and fifty thousand; it’s just small enough to retain village-like characteristics. “It would be interesting to swap the citizens of Bologna with the population of New Jersey,” Putnam said. “Do the Bolognese become disconnected and grouchy? Is there a sudden explosion of malls in Bologna? How much of the way we live is forced on us? How much is our choice?”

Atlanta is perhaps the purest specimen of a vexed commuter town, a big-fridge paradise. Los Angeles, the country’s most sprawling megalopolis, may boast a more dizzying array of horrible commutes, but many of them are the result of a difficult landscape—ocean restricting growth on one side, mountains on another. Chicago, Washington, D.C., and the Bay Area are worthy candidates, but they, too, owe a degree of complication to bodies of water. But Atlanta, like Houston, sprawls without impediment in all directions, and an inordinate number of the commutes range from one edge of the sprawl to the opposite side. People live and work on the outskirts. For them, the city itself is little more than an obstacle and an idea.

Atlanta is a beltway town—it is defined by the interstate, known as the Perimeter, that encircles it. It has a notoriously paltry system of public transportation. The Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority, or MARTA, operates two rail lines, which form a cross whose ends extend, at most, a few stops past the Perimeter. Most communities have no access to it, and there are prejudices against it. (You don’t have to be in Atlanta long before someone relates, ruefully or conspiratorially, an alternative source of the acronym—“Moving Africans Rapidly Through Atlanta.”) Decades ago, residents of two counties surrounding the city voted down an extension of the MARTA system. Ninety-four per cent of Atlantans commute by car, and the city has the highest annual per-capita gasoline costs in the country. According to the last census, the travel time in Atlanta grew faster in the nineties than in any other American city, and it’s getting worse. Travelling ten miles can take forty-five minutes.

Road-building doesn’t much help. Atlanta is a showcase for a phenomenon called “induced traffic”: the more highway lanes you build, the more traffic you get. People find it agreeable to move farther away, and, as others join them, they find it less agreeable (or affordable), and so they move farther still. The lanes fill up.

The antidote, in vogue in planning circles, if not in state houses, is mixed-use zoning and mixed-income dwelling, so that people don’t have to travel so far to go to work or to buy what they need. Smaller triangles, in other words. Michael Dobbins, a planner and architect at Georgia Tech, told me that to substantially reduce congestion all you’d need to do is cut the average daily driving miles from thirty-five to thirty-one. He noted, as others had, that Atlanta was in the midst of a reurbanizing boom, with people moving downtown again and condominium towers sprouting up, amid increasingly vigorous agitations for more public transportation. Still, the centrifugal force of exurban growth was overpowering.

A few weeks before I visited Atlanta this winter, to do some commuting, a perfect storm of traffic struck: twenty-five accidents on the Downtown Connector (the interstate that bisects the city), a poultry exposition downtown, and, at the sports arena, a Get Motivated seminar. The highways in Atlanta follow what are known as dendritic patterns: as you near the city, the routes converge, and alternatives disappear, so that an accident on a main highway creates bottlenecks all the way up the line. I half hoped for such luck.

My first ride was with Tom Scruggs, a program manager in the I.T. department at a credit-card company. Its headquarters are situated near Dunwoody, north of the city, in an office park with the evocatively oxymoronic name of the Perimeter Center. The building stands across a parking lot from a Fuddruckers; outdoor speakers play easylistening music, for the smokers who may linger in the pines that surround it. From the lot, you can look out over the trees and see a landscape of office buildings, which look as though they’d been overtaken, in a “Logan’s Run” kind of way, by the woodlands that they are in fact rapidly displacing. Dunwoody, in the vulgate, is an “edge city”—a commercial district virtually without residents.

Scruggs, who is thirty-seven, with sandy hair, a few extra pounds, and kind but weary eyes, has a wife and three young children. He lives fifty miles from his office, in a newish subdivision well south of the city, in the town of Sharpsburg. His commute home starts in his cubicle. “This is my jail cell,” he told me, when I met up with him there at five one evening. He was dressed in a blue shirt, brown slacks, and brown square-toed shoes. “This is the first time in a week and a half that I get to leave while it’s still light out.” He got in his car, a BMW sedan, and, as he laid out his things in the center console, it occurred to him that he’d forgotten his sunglasses, useful for the drive into the setting sun. He’s a Perimeter man, although others like to take the Downtown Connector. “Usually, that’s a parking lot, too, so it’s pick your poison.” The parking lot itself can be a problem: getting out of it has taken him as long as an hour, because of traffic generated by an adjacent mall.

It was a Monday, the lightest of Atlanta traffic weekdays. Scruggs put on the radio, which was playing the traffic report—gibberish, to an out-of-towner. (He’d already looked up the traffic cams online.) The traffic nudged along, with occasional soul-corroding full stops. He usually listens to sports talk or a personal-finance show. “People are calling in all the time to talk about how much debt they have,” he said. “It makes you feel better.”

Scruggs’s commute is not outrageous. On a perfect day, it is not even extreme, technically, although at least once a week it can take two hours or more, and it has taken as long as three, such as when a truck flipped on the interstate and spilled a load of battery acid. But the trip wears him down, with its toxic blend of predictability and unpredictability—tedium broken by episodes of aggravation and despair. Barring the invention of the jet pack, the trip can only get longer. Ultimately, his decision not to move closer to work is based on inertia and vague reasoning. His wife grew up on the south side and her parents live nearby. They have friends, although they don’t often see them. Their social life consists of a get-together with the neighbors once a month or so for a barbecue or a theme party: beach, Mardi Gras, the eighties. Scruggs said, “If you had told me ten years ago that I’d be going fifty miles to and from work, I would have said, ‘No way.’ I kind of eased into it.”

Scruggs tapped the steering wheel as traffic slowed again. “When you’ve had a long day and then sit in traffic for two hours, you say, I gotta find something else,” he said. “But then when you’re home there’s a reality check. My commute’s no different really from the commutes of people who are coming from the north side, where the cost of living is substantially higher. When you take all the factors into consideration, as frustrated as you get, I’m still not sure whether it’s worth making a move.”

I had talked to one Atlanta commuter who smokes a cigar to stay awake on his drive home each day, and to another who plays harmonica. One commuter began trying a meditation technique—breathe in one nostril and out the other—and got pulled over for speeding. Scruggs favored a more traditional approach. “The key is to eat a light lunch,” he said.

He exited the interstate at 6:06 P.M. “It’s ten or twelve minutes from here,” he said. “Piece of cake.” The road passed by a golf course, a high school, and a series of ranch houses with boats and cars out front, most of them apparently still operational. After a while, he made a right on Kripple Kreek Drive, which led him into a development called Barrington Farms. Home: 6:30 P.M.—one hour and twenty-two minutes. Deep twilight. His house was an off-white clapboard four-bedroom, on a one-acre lot. The kids were out playing on a swing set in the back yard. There was no arrival fanfare: Ulysses, ignored. He tends to see his kids for five minutes in the morning, and an hour in the evenings.

Scruggs’s wife was waiting in the kitchen, checking on the kids through the window, looking forward to a beer and some grownup company. When I asked her what she thought of his commute, she said, “I hate it.” She’s a part-time preschool teacher, eager to get back to full time. “He works eight to five but is gone from six-thirty to seven. I can’t rely on the fact that he’ll even be here.”

“When I get off work, I don’t know what I’m up against,” Scruggs said. “Frankly, today was the best day I’ve had in a month.”

The home or the job: to shorten the trip between the two, you usually have to give one of them up. A year ago, Stephen Kocis, a Pittsburgh native who has lived in (or, at least, near) Atlanta for twenty years, got a new job, as a design manager at Silgan Plastics, developing containers for shampoo, mouthwash, and powdered drinks. His office is on the outskirts northeast of the city, and his home is well to the south, in Peachtree City (population 35,000)—a planned community of well-heeled developments connected by golf-cart paths. The commute is fifty-two miles. Though Kocis is normally a fitness freak, with a black belt in karate, in the past year he’d put on twenty pounds and developed nerve problems in his back. For a while, he tried leaving at five, to get to the office at six-thirty, in time to work out, but it exhausted him. So he gave up exercise.

“I don’t have a social life,” he told me. He and his wife, Martha, get a babysitter once a month or so and go out for dinner in Peachtree City; they hardly ever go into Atlanta. Generally, he comes home, helps his two sons with their homework, puts them to bed, works a little bit, then watches “Grey’s Anatomy” or “Desperate Housewives” on TV. “My wife enjoys it, but, God, I hope she doesn’t relate to it,” he said.

I joined the family one morning around dawn. The kids were eating Cheerios, and Martha was in her bathrobe, making them lunch. Kocis was checking traffic reports on TV. The house was a stucco five-bedroom in a cul-de-sac, but it was no longer theirs. Nine days earlier, they had sold it, having decided that they could no longer endure his commute. They were moving in a few weeks to a house on the north side of town, closer to his office. Martha had had to give up a career in real estate for a job at a pharmaceutical company. The kids were changing schools, but would be commuting back to Peachtree once a week for karate lessons.

We got into Kocis’s pickup truck, which had a dent in the driver’s-side door, caused by a collision with a deer. The trip took eighty minutes, with no accidents or extenuating circumstances—just enough time to engender the feeling that we deserved a nap or a big greasy breakfast. He parked his car outside his office: a one-story industrial building overlooking the interstate. He had worked downtown previously and so had come into contact with other people—in the foyer, at lunch, on the way to the garage. “That’s what makes this so damn boring,” he said. “I wouldn’t have moved if I could’ve taken public transportation. I could read a book or talk to somebody.” He slipped in through a side door and into his office; it was a little like going into a motel. There was no one around to greet him or to make small talk.

“Here are some of our products,” he said, showing me svelte ergonomic containers for soup (Campbell’s Soup at Hand) and dog treats (Pup-peroni to Go). There was a watercolor of his kids over his desk. We went to get a cup of coffee. A few lab workers in hairnets wandered about in the corridors. In the kitchen, a TV was playing an ad for Ambien.

One remedy for social isolation and frequent tire replacement is the van pool. I caught a ride in one that evening, heading north from Cumberland, Georgia, another edge city on the north side of the Atlanta Perimeter, up into the countryside near Tennessee—a commute with no city in it, and yet with some of the worst traffic in the country. The van-pool driver was a woman named Janice Moss, who works as a property manager in Cumberland, in a two-mile-long ring of office buildings called Circle 75. Moss, who is fifty-eight, lives two hours away, with her sister and two cats, near the town of Ellijay, in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains.

Moss and the other members of the pool met through an organization called the Commuter Club, which provides the van; Moss, as the farthest-flung rider, is its keeper. The pickups and drop-offs have lengthened her trip a bit, but the company and the savings (each rider pays just fifty dollars a month) make up for that. “You’ve got someone to talk to when you’re stuck in all this traffic,” she told me, as we retrieved the van from a basement garage. “It’s been nice to meet people I wouldn’t normally meet.” It was 5 P.M. She drove around Circle 75 and picked up her passengers, six of them. The last to get in was the only man, Glenn, an auto-parts buyer. He climbed in back and asked that the heat be turned down, then began to read a book—“The Postman,” the post-apocalyptic fantasy that became a Kevin Costner film. Moss steered the van onto I-75, where it joined a river of steel: eight northbound lanes, none of them flowing. A sign over the freeway relayed that it would take twenty-five minutes or more to travel the next seven miles, but the ladies hardly paid that any mind, engaged as they were in an appraisal of Costner’s career. “I liked ‘Robin Hood.’ ”

“ ‘Tin Cup. ’ ”

“I liked that one, too.”

No one mentioned “Fandango.” Moss finally took note of the grim vista beyond her dash. “This is what we call merging madness,” she said. “The designers of the roads down here did not take things into consideration.”

Among those things was the fact that there was no H.O.V. or express lane, although there might not have been anybody to take advantage of it: every car, save ours, seemed to have just one person in it. Long lines of stalled traffic were still trying to join the flow north, even though we were now nearly thirty miles outside Atlanta.

After about an hour, four passengers disembarked in the town of Woodstock, in the parking lot of a Home Depot, where they got into their own cars to head home (some several miles back in the direction we’d just come from). The van then continued north on a newer spur, I-575. The last rider got off in Canton, at another Home Depot. From this point, Moss is on her own.

Seven years ago, she and her sister built a custom cedar house, thirty-four hundred square feet, on a five-and-a-half-acre lot, overlooking a creek. They are dedicated knitters, and recently, as a sideline, they opened a yarn shop in Ellijay, which her sister runs. They are also very involved in their church; Moss is a devout Baptist, having been born again in 1978, after surviving a life-threatening illness. She has no children.

After a while, a sign indicated that Ellijay was thirty-three miles away. We’d been on the road for an hour and twenty minutes. The Blue Ridge Mountains came into view; fog settled in the marshes and creek beds, and pinewoods stretched in all directions. “When I get up here, the stress of the day, it all starts melting away,” Moss said.

As we entered Ellijay’s outskirts, we passed a place where a mountain had been levelled to make way for a shopping center, whose chief tenants—a Wal-Mart, a Lowe’s, a Wendy’s—were the same as those along Judy Rossi’s drive, in Pennsylvania, and it occurred to me that Moss’s commute, and her situation, were not unlike Rossi’s. Both women had the unquittable job, the dream house in the sticks, and the gantlet in between. In their determination to live in the country, they had almost, but not quite, outflanked a landscape of sprawl that resolutely discouraged them from trying. Still, they had their patch—hours be damned.

Before going home for the night, Moss stopped at the yarn shop, which occupied a storefront in a shopping center that had until recently been home to a bath-mat factory. She and her sister had named it Strings & Sticks. Moss parked the van and went inside. Racks and racks of multicolored yarn looked resplendent in the fluorescent light. Her sister was there with a neighbor who had come for a knitting lesson. The three women sat around a table counting stitches. For a moment, you could say the trip had been worth it.

Panasonic brings Let's Note CF-Y7 to Santa Rosa - Engadget

Thu, 10 May 2007 15:16:57 GMT

Not wanting to feel left out of the mad Santa Rosa rush we've seen over the last few days, Panasonic has introduced its first Let's Note model to sport Intel's new chipset, the CF-Y7. This 14.1-inch upgrade features a 1,400 x 1,050 display, 1.4GHz Core 2 Duo L7300, 1GB of RAM, four-flavor WiFi, and a super multi drive, and ships with Windows Vista Business. Also on board are an 80GB hard drive, SD reader, and a claimed 7.5-hour battery, but only a PCMCIA slot instead of the preferred ExpressCard. Hitting Japan on May 18th -- and possible the US as a Toughbook in the future -- the Y7 is expected to go for around ¥275,000 ($2,227).

All the Ladies Come Out For Costume Institute Gala

Tue, 08 May 2007 09:32:25 GMT

Just when we were least expecting it, here is the "Poiret: King of Fashion" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art, which just happens to be the most celeb-packed red carpet we've seen since The Oscars. Seriously, how did all these folks get to NYC so quickly? Here are some of the ladies, but check out the gallery below to get the full splendor. In general, the women looked smashing on the arms of their dates (if they had one) -- be they boyfriends, husbands, or esteemed older gentlemen/designers (like Ashley Olsen on the arm of Christian Louboutin himself). Anna Wintour must have been a happy hostess.

Sienna & Keira Enjoying the Best Time of Their Lives

Tue, 08 May 2007 09:31:38 GMT

Sienna and Keira are living up to the name of their latest film, The Best Time of Our Lives. The co-stars just started filming in North Wales and while it may not be sunny and gorgeous, these girls seem to be having a blast together. I can't say so much about their unfashionable looks but I will give them a break since I have to assume it has something to do with their characters' costumes. I could hardly imagine Sienna wearing that in real life. Looks like Lindsay missed out on a fun time since Sienna just took her place. Besides, LL is going to be busy covering up that coke scandal.

Tobey Can Finally Kick Back With Ruby

Tue, 08 May 2007 09:30:57 GMT

Fresh off his Spider-Man 3 tour of the globe, Tobey looked like he couldn't be happier to be back home in LA with his favorite girls. He may play the comic book hero well, but back at home, Tobey is just another dad looking boyish and carefree while tossing around a football and puckering up to precious baby Ruby. Even though Tobey seems to be enjoying his time off-screen, we're wondering if Spider-Man 3's record breaking weekend will have any bearing on his thoughts for yet another sequel.

Jessica's New Lease on Life and Hair

Tue, 08 May 2007 09:30:07 GMT

Jessica took Daisy along for some shopping in New York after her fun weekend with the Pussycat Dolls in Vegas. Jess is looking much happier these days and it's not just because she's found a great guy. While in Vegas, Extra grabbed a moment with Jess to chat about life these days.

Lohan in Leggings at LAX

Tue, 08 May 2007 09:22:07 GMT

I wasn't joking when I said someone would have to pry those leggings out of Lohan's cold dead hands, and these shots of her at LAX on the way to NYC are further evidence. Also, those sandals make her feet seem like they're in some sort of prison. That being said, girlfriend looks like she's feeling pretty free despite her recent coke scandal (that she has yet to address in any way). It sure as hell didn't stop her (and her girls -- yowza) from flaunting herself at last night's Costume Institute Gala. Such a trooper.

A dying man is saved but is not thanking his doctor [very huge bill] what do you mean I m not dying?

Mon, 07 May 2007 20:57:34 GMT

A British man who went on a wild spending spree after doctors said he only had a short time to live wants compensation because the diagnosis was wrong and he is now healthy -- but broke.

John Brandrick, 62, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago and told that he would probably die within a year.

He quit his job, sold or gave away nearly all his possessions, stopped paying his mortgage and spent his savings dining out and going on holiday.

Brandrick was left with little more than the black suit, white shirt and red tie that he had planned to be buried in when it emerged a year later that his suspected "tumor" was no more than a non-life threatening inflammation of the pancreas.

"When they tell you you've got a limited time and everything, you do enjoy life," Brandrick, from Cornwall in the west of England, told Sky television.

"I'm really pleased that I've got a second chance in life... but if you haven't got no money after all this, which is my fault -- I spent it all -- they should pay something back."

If he can't get compensation, he is considering selling his house or suing the hospital that diagnosed him. The hospital has said that while it sympathizes with Brandrick, a review of his case showed no different diagnosis would have been made.

MySpace to acquire Photobucket image-sharing site for 250 million dollars

Mon, 07 May 2007 14:37:33 GMT

Social-networking site MySpace, owned by Murdoch's News Corp., has agreed to acquire Photobucket, the Web's No. 1 photo-sharing service, according to a source close to the deal.

The source, who requested anonymity because he isn't authorized to discuss the deal publicly, confirmed a story about the acquisition in the blog Valleywag on Monday. Before the deal is announced, the two sides must wrap up a few details, the source said. Financial terms weren't available, but it is widely known that Photobucket, with 40 million registered users, has been shopping itself in recent months and asking for about $300 million.

Representatives from both companies did not respond to interview requests.

The deal comes just a month after the two companies crossed swords in a very public public-relations battle. MySpace accused Photobucket of violating its terms of agreement by "encouraging" users to include advertisements in the slide shows they posted to MySpace. Photobucket said that without notice, MySpace began blocking the image-sharing site's photo slide shows and videos.

At the time of the fight, which ended with both sides agreeing to strengthen lines of communication, some industry insiders suspected that the block by MySpace might signal an imminent acquisition. The theory went something like this: MySpace was trying to drive down Photobucket's price by dramatically illustrating how much Photobucket relied on the social-networking site for traffic.

What Murdoch, News Corp's chairman, is getting for his money is a company that appears to be following a path forged by YouTube. Photobucket has seen its number of unique monthly visitors more than double to 18 million in the past year, placing it firmly among the Web's top 50 sites and is seeing about 45,000 videos added to the site daily. Part of Photobucket's appeal is similar to what drew so many to YouTube: Palo Alto, Calif.-based Photobucket employs a technology that enables users to post photos and videos to any Web site.

Photobucket's rapid rise paralleled MySpace's own meteoric growth. That wasn't a coincidence, observers say. Photobucket is among a group of companies--as is YouTube--that emerged at a time when MySpace users were looking for ways to customize their profile pages with video, photos and music.

Of such companies, YouTube is the biggest success story--it's no secret that Murdoch wanted very much to obtain the Web's largest video site but was thwarted when Google swooped in last October to walk away with the company for $1.65 billion.

If Murdoch did pay in the $300 million range for Photobucket, he certainly didn't overpay, said James McQuivey, an analyst with Forrester Research. Even if MySpace bought the company purely for the traffic, McQuivey said after crunching the numbers that MySpace is sure to get its money back.

MacOsX and Macbook pro suck ! big time Switching Back Vista and it will feel like you just added another CPU and doubled your RAM

Mon, 07 May 2007 14:36:48 GMT

I have been using Mac OS X as my primary OS for almost a year now, but last night I switched back. What spurred it is that my Mac OS X partition crashed and it wouldn’t boot back into the OS - I used rescue tools and drive scanners but it appears that the partition just disappeared. I booted into a much smaller NTFS partition and put the Vista install disk in. I hadn’t used Vista much since its release, but I figure I try it out (plus I wanted to try out the new Visual Studio in a separate partition). I have been running Vista for a little less than 24 hours and I can’t believe I didn’t switch back sooner, the main difference is that the interface is much much smoother and neater and despite popular belief performance is actually fantastic. I was used to waiting on Mac OS X while my standards apps would open up - Quicksilver, Firefox, Skype, etc. but Vista goes almost straight into the desktop and most apps boot very quickly.

I didn’t expect it to be like this, I didn’t want Vista to be this good - I was expecting to boot back into OS X and living happily ever after, but damn, this is one fast, slick and nice operating system. If you are a Mac user try it yourself, install boot camp and Vista and it will feel like you just added another CPU and doubled your RAM - I can’t see any evidence for any of the reports of Vista being slow or power-hungry.

Some surprises I have had since running Vista: the first was when I ran Media Center (which has been updated with a new interface and with new features) it detected the Xbox 360 and the other Media Center on the network - making it easy to stream and share music and video content. Media Center is also a much nicer and richer experience than Frontrow. The default security model is much better than what it was. As somebody who has published over a dozen security vulnerabilities for Windows I can see how the new security initiatives within Microsoft that started 4-5 years ago have really taken hold in every part of the operating system and applications - IE has gone from being a hacked up toy to a serious browser that keeps users safe from themselves.

Next is the ability to transfer settings - something that Mac OS X has done very well and something that Windows lacked outside of third party applications. You can now move over all your files, folders, accounts, applications etc. from other Windows machines and it works well. WinFS may not have made it, but search is much better and you can’t even notice it indexing while it gives you very quick live results for all folders and sub-folders, again something that I loved about Mac OS X finds its way into Windows. The new explorer takes a bit of getting used to, but it now understands more file types such as contacts. The updated directory structure is more UNIX-y with users living in c:\users\, and there is a better default structure with photos, video etc. The common dialog box now defaults to your content-specific directories - for example when I save an image it puts it in ‘pictures’, downloads go in ‘downloads’ - it forces you into a neater directory structure.

The snipping tool lets you grab a portion of the screen, annotate it or highlight and then easily paste into OneNote or any other application. On XP the third-party screenshot tool I had was one of my top 5 most used applications and now Vista provides all that and a lot more. ActiveSynch is now built-in, and works as advertised - I previously had many issues with ActiveSynch on XP mainly because of the way the security model worked (guest, not guest) and having more then one device but so far it has all synched up nicely - again, another feature that I loved about Mac OS X that I now have in Vista. The built-in backup works very well, and you can point it to a network share and let it take care of it from there - pointing it to Omnidrive should be just as easy (though we need to get the Omnidrive client to be more Vista compatible - I will have to work on that).

Media handling is much improved - organizing photos, video and music, though I think Media Player is still a bit too ‘fat’ and it could use a lighter version and rely on Explorer to do all the media management. Regardless it still loads very quickly and after pointing it to two different network drives it indexed all the music and video very quickly, it all happen in the background while I played some music. There is a lot of iTunes in Windows Media Player, with media sharing and auto-detecting other devices on the network, but I think I am beginning to prefer WMP over iTunes, especially the shortcut controls it adds into the taskbar.

Overall, Vista is very fast and offers many new features. What used to cost $300-400 on XP in additional applications (Nero, ScreenGrabber, SpyBot etc.) I now have out of the box with a slick operating system and interface (the interface, oh the interface). In the past 15 years I have gone from DOS, Windows 3.1, Windows 95, Linux, OpenBSD, Windows 98, Windows 2000 (a nice OS for the time), XP, FreeBSD, Mac OS X and now Vista and working with Vista this weekend reminds me of the first time I ran an early preview of Mac OS X and spent an hour running my mouse across the dock (back in 2000). The job of building an operating system isn’t an easy one, and Microsoft have managed to take a good leap forward with Vista which they should get some credit for (although it probably is at least 2 years late). To all my Mac OS X and UNIX using friends, I haven’t left you - but feel free to argue in the comments, but only after you have installed bootcamp

Canon Powershot S5 IS

Mon, 07 May 2007 11:25:42 GMT

Canon introduced the Canon Powershot S5 IS all-round zoom camera.

The Canon Powershot S5 IS offers 8MP resolution and a 12x optical zoom.

Other features of the Canon S5 IS include, optical image stabilizer, DIGIC III processor with face detection, ISO 1600, 2.5 inch screen, 30fps VGA video recording, Print/share button and hot shoe for Speedlite EX Series external flashes.
The Canon PowerShot S5 IS digital camera measures 4.6 inches long, 3.15 inches high and 3.06 inches wide and weighs less than 16 ounces.

In stores beginning in early July 2007, the PowerShot S5 IS digital camera kit includes four AA alkaline batteries, a 32MB SD memory card, a USB interface cable, a stereo AV cable for audio/video output, and a full suite of Canon's latest software applications. The PowerShot S5 IS digital camera carries an estimated selling price of $499.99.

Danah Alleyne - Akon Axed by Verizon Over Simulated Rape

Mon, 07 May 2007 10:56:49 GMT

Rapper Akon has been fired by Verizon -- and is being threatened with prosecution -- after he reportedly simulated a rape of a 15-year-old on stage during a concert in Trinidad a few weeks ago.

Verizon promoted Akon as one of the musicians on its mobile-phone music service, and said it would no longer sponsor the Gwen Stefani tour in which Akon, who recently performed on "American Idol," is the opening act.

The rapper invited 15-year-old Danah Alleyne onto the stage, and the girl obliged, thinking that she was entering a dance contest to win a "trip to Africa," as Akon promised. But when Alleyne "won" the contest, the "trip to Africa" turned out to be an on-stage encounter with Akon during which her "head was hitting the floor, said Alleyne to the Trinidad Express (via FOX News).

In its account of the incident, the Trinidad Express said that the "Smack That" rapper was "turning, twisting and even flipping [the girl's] body," while "mimicking sexual positions" and sandwiching the girl with the assistance of another performer. The Security Minister Fitzgerald Hinds said, in FOX News' report, that Akon should be prosecuted.

Tara Reid: Click to watchThis isn't the first time Akon has done some sketchy work on stage. TMZ obtained exclusive footage of Tara Reid getting the Akon treatment during a party at the Sundance Film Festival.

A rep for Verizon told TMZ they were sponsoring Akon and made a decision this week to end the relationship for, as they called it, "reasons." Beyond that, the rep would not elaborate

Spider-Man 3 Premiere: N.Y.C.

Sat, 05 May 2007 19:00:16 GMT

See what it's like to hang with the cast of Spider-Man 3 as they kick off New York City's Spider-Man Week with a premiere and afterparty, and see who turned out for the event (Petra! Diddy!) in Spidey's hometown: Queens.

MOBILE RIDER LAUNCHED

Fri, 04 May 2007 12:17:36 GMT

Over the past few weeks I've been working on a really dope web concept for a multimedia hosting company. What this does is allows all of your brands' videos, photos, podcasts, etc to be manageable by you and your company. You have the access to load up what you want, but into the concept that they produce for your brand. The best part is they respect your identity, so the video download areas they build for you are branded solely for your brand, thus eliminating any sort of confusing crossbranding.
Check out some other samples here.
MSP TV VIEWER
Radical Films TV
TGR films

This is much better way to showcase videos for your company than having people look for it on google vid or you tube. Better resolution, better loading, faster viewing.

Mobile Rider

Fri, 04 May 2007 12:13:52 GMT

Mobile media downloads.
Select Your Content, Deliver To Your Device.
The MR Mobile Download Platform publishes your video, podcasts, music and photos in a slick and user-friendly flash interface. Your content is published and delivered to all current and future mobile devices including the iPod, PSP, Zune, over 300 mobile phones and Windows mobile devices.

Interventions, Take Two: Defamer Corrections: 'ET' No One Has The Exclusive On Hasselhoff's Darkest Moments

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:44:29 GMT

While Extra seems to have been first to e-press with the story of David Hasselhoff's self-produced "cry for help" documentary, we've been informed that the actual video of the actor's darkest moments is exclusive to rival Entertainment Tonight, which has quickly posted the above teaser-trailer to alleviate any confusion over the footage with which ET will ruin millions of family dinners. We can only hope that this ugly custody dispute doesn't hamper the troubled Hasselhoff's attempts at putting his life back together through the redemptive power of syndicated TV programming.

UPDATE: Literally seconds after we hit "publish" on this post, we're hearing that no one has the exclusive. Excuse us while we navigate over to The Insider's web presence and throw a brick through our computer screen rather than spend another minute sorting out this clusterfuck.

Colin's Bad Boy Ways Catch Woody's Eye

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:43:45 GMT

Colin regressed to his bad boy image complete with facial hair, cigarette and Fedora at LAX the other day. This is not a sexy version of Colin. In fact, he sort of resembles Jason Wahler and that's not a good thing. Of course Colin has a little more going for him, in fact he has five films in the works at the moment! Next up is Woody Allen's Cassandra's Dream costarring Ewan McGregor. When we first learned about the film and saw the boys shooting it last summer the movie didn't even have a name. As expected, Colin plays a bad boy.

Tom & Gisele are Maintaining The 1:1 Purse Ratio

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:42:42 GMT

Tom Brady may have ditched his Yankees cap (in favor of a knit hat, which looks like it could be a little warm), but he's still rocking his Murse from earlier in the week. Okay, fine, this time he's sort of in gym gear so that could be a gym bag, but it's totally more fun to think of it as his fancy camo handbag. As for that Yankees cap, I'm a Red Sox fan to the end, but something about this statement from a Sox spokesperson just makes me laugh: “We know that Tom has an array of Red Sox caps from which to choose. But we fully respect that he needed to wear a suitable disguise for his own health and protection. We don’t doubt that he’s a card-carrying member of Red Sox Nation.” Uhhh, sure, just keep telling yourself that. Sigh, I guess I'll just have to live in a world where Mr. Brady isn't a Red Sox fan.

Sienna Does the Hippie Hippie Shake

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:38:57 GMT

Sienna wore an adorable animal friendly hoody while taking her own doggies out for a walk in London this week. She seems to be lying pretty low lately, probably because she's just started work on her next film The Best Time of Our Lives after LL bailed on it. She also has gotten signed to star with Cillian Murphy in a film based on writer Richard Neville's life in London at the end of the 60's. It's appropriately called Hippie Hippie Shake. Not much of a stretch from Sienna's role in Factory Girl - she can probably even recycle some of those crazy clothes!

Sienna Miller Nipple Slip? Or Just a Bit of Nip?

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:37:03 GMT

To say these pictures show a full-on Sienna Miller nipple slip would be a bit too strong a claim, however, she was caught at just the right angle, and if you look closely, you can see some Sienna Miller nipple action.

Of course, it's nothing compared to the time we saw Sienna Miller topless, or the other time we saw Sienna Miller topless, or even the other time we saw Sienna Miller topless, but beggers can't be choosers.

Oh, Sienna also has a nice ass. Bonus.

Natalie Gives Charity the Royal Treatment I mean portman

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:35:25 GMT

Natalie could teach Britney a thing or two about how to grow back a shaved head gracefully, which is not necessarily a fair comparison, but true. Nat looked adorable showing off her curls as she launched her charity project, the Village Banking Campaign with Queen Rania of Jordan this week in NY. It's such a treat seeing her around this week. Portman may only be my second favorite little pocket-sized starlet these days (after R-Bils). But to be fair, she's so much smarter than that characterization, and you can't deny her cute. How could Natalie not appeal to anyone? Serious.

Cameron diaz and Justin Timberlake Reunite... for Shrek 3!

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:34:11 GMT

Shrek 3 premieres May 18th so once we get past the Spidey madness, plan to see lots of Cameron and Justin promoting their new film. This time around Shrek and Fiona threaten to be promoted to King and Queen unless they can find a suitable replacement in Fiona's long lost cousin Artie (played by Justin). Guess since they play relatives there won't be any hot love scenes. Plus, you know - it's for kids. Let's just hope the two won't do all of their interviews and promotion separately (they are on good terms after all).

Kate Moss Must be Happy on the Inside

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:30:59 GMT

Kate Moss doesn't really do smiles, but I gotta believe she was feeling pretty good after her Topshop line sold out in London in less than a day this week. The model turned designer is still hanging out at home for now, but come next week she'll be heading off to NYC to debut her line at Barneys NY on the 8th. I'd wonder whether or not Pete was planning on accompanying his lady on her trip stateside, but something tells me he's not allowed out of the country. Just a hunch.

Lindsay Catches Britney's Comeback Tour

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:29:44 GMT

Lindsay Lohan was a busy little bee around LA yesterday. After a
daytime meeting dressed in white she was back to her short skirted ways by the evening. She stopped off at a party celebrating the opening of Byron Williams salon, wearing peep toe ankle boots that hurt my brain to look at. Linds only stayed at the party for a little before jetting off to...wait for it...watch Britney perform at the Sunset Strip House of Blues. Love it! I'd like to think that Lindsay was there in some sort of weird solidarity, but I fear that she was really there just to take in the spectacle. Either way, I'd really like to hear what she has to say about the show -- something tells me Britney through Lindsay's eyes would be pure comedy

Sugar Bits - Gilmore Girls Say Goodbye

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:29:09 GMT

Scarlett + Louis Vuitton = LOVE

Fri, 04 May 2007 10:28:24 GMT

Scarlett Johansson harnessed her spokeswoman duties hosting Louis Vuitton's Party of LOVE last night in NYC. The usually stunning Scarlett wore a fabulous dress, but what's with her super blonde hair and dark eyebrows combination? Also, her make-up makes her look a little doll-like. On the other hand, we're digging Rashida Jones' more toned down hair & makeup - it's nice to catch her in something besides the business attire we're used to seeing on The Office.

Jake is Manjoyable All By Himself

Thu, 03 May 2007 20:36:01 GMT

Jake G's been laying pretty low since everyone started whispering about his relationship with Reese. The two haven't been caught out in public together yet (you know we would be all over that...), but getting cute Jake all by his lonesome is a treat in and of itself. Seriously though, I feel like we've been writing about this supposed romance for-ev-er. There are still rumors of stuff like highway yogurt eating, so I'm not ready to write these two over before they start. But come on, are we really going to have to wait until the release of Rendition to see how they interact on the red carpet? I'm not nearly that patient.

Keira Might Hang Up Her Corset & Go Into Hiding

Thu, 03 May 2007 20:34:28 GMT

Gracing the cover of the UK May issue of Elle magazine with recycled images from the US version of August 2006, it's easy to see that Keira Knightley has a lot going for her. In addition to her stunning beauty, Keira's already an Academy award nominated actress and has risen to fame with the help of the Pirates franchise. However, at only 22, Keira is already learning the consequences of being famous. In the interview, Keira gets serious about the darker aspects of celebrity and why she's considering leaving the industry. Here are highlights:

* 'You know,' she says, 'acting was the only thing I ever wanted to do. But, to be honest, I can see myself in five years or whatever just giving the whole thing up, I would. I'd just do something else and move on. I can see things getting to the point where I just can't do this anymore.'
* 'All those pictures of celebrities. Are they fat? Are they thin? Have they got spots? Young female celebrities. Girls like me in magazines. All those paparazzi pictures. It' just horrible.'
* 'I think I just have to move away or give it up altogether,' she says. 'I couldn't have kids in the situation I'm in now. But I could just do something else. That's probably what's going to happen. I'm just not so hungry any more. I made a decision very recently that I want a life instead.'

We can't blame Keira for wanting to escape from the paparazzi, but we can't imagine she's already ready for retirement. It looks like we'll just have to check out the new Pirates movie to catch her on the big screen while we still can.

Jenny's New Book Explores Her Experience With Autism

Thu, 03 May 2007 20:33:38 GMT

Jenny McCarthy was on The View this morning talking some serious and not so serious topics. First she dished on American Idol (she's a Blake fan - her boyfriend Jim is a Jordin fan) and then she opened up about her son's Autism. Jenny has already written two bestselling books about pregnancy and motherhood and she revealed today that she is working on a new book about autism in children. Her 5-year-old son Evan has been diagnosed with the condition, and Jenny wants to reach out to other moms by sharing her own journey. Here's more:

"I just want moms ... who have children out there with autism ... to know that I am coming back in a few months with this book, and I am planning on using my big, giant, controversial mouth to blow the lid off a lot of things related to autism to give moms hope," she said. "It is so needed."

The book, called Louder Than Words, is set to come out in September. It's great that Jenny is willing to share her life to help others. She always has a fresh and honest take on pretty much everything she does!

Prosecutors Request Paris Gets 45 Days

Thu, 03 May 2007 20:30:52 GMT

We've been pleasantly light on Paris Hilton news in recent weeks (say, compared to when she was in the news thrice daily), but that DUI that won't go away is apparently rearing its ugly head. We heard the rumor that Paris could face time for her repeated offenses, but I figured it highly unlikely that she would land in the clink. Today, the news broke that the city prosecutors working on her case will request that she be sentenced to 45 days in the big house, followed by time wearing an anklet monitoring her body's alcohol intake. I'm still skeptical that she'll face hard time, but boy do I love using slang words for jail!

Dell to Offer Ubuntu

Tue, 01 May 2007 14:01:39 GMT

Canonical and Dell are pleased to announce a partnership to offer Ubuntu 7.04 on select desktop and notebook products. This is a tremendous step forward for Ubuntu, our users and customers.

More about the announcement is available on the Dell website, including a video interview with Ubuntu's founder Mark Shuttleworth.

We believe that Dell’s decision is a strong endorsement of Ubuntu and to the work of many in coding, translating and promoting open source software. It is also testament to the demand that exists for Ubuntu.

Canonical is honoured to play a leading role in making Linux more widely available to everyone.

Catherine Zeta-Jones Stands By Her Men

Tue, 01 May 2007 02:40:17 GMT

CZJ played the supportive wife and pro-golfer at her husband's "Michael Douglas and Friends Celebrity Golf Event" in Palos Verdes this weekend. The charity game, which brought out Marky Mark, Josh Duhamel and many more, provides help to entertainment industry people in need of health and community services. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits and Catherine even talked a bit about her relationship with Michael. Here's more:

* Her secret to a happy marriage:
“Just be kind to each other… enjoy each other’s company.
* On tabloid rumors that Michael was jealous of her on-screen work with Aaron Eckhart:
“Are you kidding me! If he’s jealous of Aaron, think of Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Antonio Banderas, Sean Connery. My God, I’ve had the best run of leading men in my life!”

These two have been married since 2000 and have 2 kids so hopefully gorgeous leading men aren't going to ruin their marriage.

Heidi & Seal Bring Their Puppies to the Beach

Tue, 01 May 2007 02:39:31 GMT

How cute is this family?!? I just love Heidi, Seal and their litter of puppies so much! And look, it's the littlest one (Johan), too! Henry and Leni are great, but it's such a treat to see the leeeetle baby. The Klum-Samuel family LA beach outing would be awesome to witness. Yes, it's because I would love to hear Heidi's accent calling after all the cute kids. With her Leni! Get eeeen the water! and Henry, you are out. and the best Auf Wiedersehen, everybody!

Peter Parker Brings Spider-man 3 Home to Queens

Tue, 01 May 2007 02:39:02 GMT

Spider-man 3 has been around the world, but last night it premiered in Peter Parker's hometown of Queens, NY. The event was part of the Tribeca Film Festival (and Spider-man week), so you better bet all the stars of the film were in the house. Kirsten, whose birthday it was (Happy 25th!), went with shiny silver while the cute, cute (Topher? Franco? Tobey with little Spidey? Amazing) boys kept the game pretty traditional. Thus far the reviews of the film have been faint praise, but it doesn't really matter. Something tells me that Spidey will do okay for himself no matter what anyone says.

Tom & Katie Grab a Steak with Brooke

Tue, 01 May 2007 02:38:24 GMT

Tom & Katie took their love show to Vegas this weekend, meeting up with Brooke Shields for dinner at the Wynn on Friday night. While Katie doesn't look thrilled with life, the couple was happy to pose with a fan on their way out after the meal. I know that Tom and Brooke settled their feud a while back, but it still seems a little odd that they are such BFF these days. Though, I'm sure Katie loves having another new mom to hang out with. I wonder if they shared a Scientology baby watcher (kidding, kidding) babysitter?

You Witness News

Tue, 01 May 2007 02:37:19 GMT

Yahoo! Underground

Tue, 01 May 2007 02:36:59 GMT

Yahoo Hopes Singing News Will Resonate

Tue, 01 May 2007 02:36:36 GMT

Yahoo News announced a new video project designed to leave people tapping their feet as they take in current events. Named "Odd News Underground," the show will feature a journalist-cum-crooner who will sing the news, reports AdWeek.
The singing anchor is the first venture from Yahoo News since the last year's launch of The Hot Zone With Kevin Sites, which chronicles the correspondent's travels to war-torn areas around the globe.

Yahoo declined to identify the warbler/wag, but sources said the performer is not an unknown and has experience as a reporter and musician. The venture is expected to be on the lighter side, so ditties about Iraq aren't to be expected.

Jolie make 'big' demands to keep Pitt happy

Tue, 01 May 2007 02:35:42 GMT

Actress Angelina Jolie apparently makes outrageous demands to keep boyfriend Brad Pitt happy while she films her new movie 'Wanted' in the Czech Republic.

Contactmusic.com reports that Jolie agreed to replace Halle Berry but only under the condition that studio executives provide free helicopter lessons and a mansion with a helipad for Pitt.

A source said, "These two can have whatever they want, and they and the film company know it."

Jolie may be demanding on movie sets, but she was quite nervous when she met slain journalist Daniel Pearl's wife Marianne, whom she portrays in the movie 'A Mighty Heart'.

"I remember being really nervous, thinking, she's such an intelligent European woman, what are we going to do together," people.com quoted the actress as saying.

Jolie says for their first meeting they chose to watch a 'serious, European, existential play' together.

She added, "It seemed like the right thing and it was supposed to be okay for kids. But their sons Adam and Mad got antsy, and finally halfway through, to each other's relief, we were both like, do you want to get out of here?"

Marianne said, "I was alone in New York with Adam, still having a rough time after Danny's death. I read an interview with Jolie in a magazine, about her and Maddox and her life as a single mom. And I thought, this woman could be my friend. So I sent her a note saying, do you want to have a play date?"

The two women soon became friends.

"Her instincts were right, we did have so much in common. And all the kids are great friends now. Zahara is madly in love with Adam," said Jolie.

Sanjaya: 'I Understand Women' | American Idol (Series), Sanjaya Malakar

Tue, 01 May 2007 02:25:37 GMT

As one of American Idol's most polarizing figures, fans either love or hate Sanjaya Malakar – but he says he's always been popular with women.

"I've always gotten along with girls better because I was raised by women," Malakar tells PEOPLE in its new issue.

Malakar, whose parents divorced when he was 3, says his ease with women comes from being close to his mom and his sister, Shyamali, who were his biggest influence growing up in Seattle. But getting along with girls didn't always work to his benefit.

"I got teased in school because people figured I must be gay because I understand women," the phenomenally popular American Idol castoff says. "I think that's why guys didn't like me – because I got along with girls so well. When I went up to girls they would give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek like I was their gay friend. But I was the straight guy that understood them."

As for his dating past, Malakar, who is now 17, says: "I had a girlfriend but she became clingy, and I didn't want to get into a really serious relationship because I was 16. Before his arrival on the hit FOX show, "I just wanted to date and have fun," he says.

Jennifer Lopez @ Hot Hollywood Party 2007 | Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:16:51 GMT

Singing/acting couple Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony share a passionate kiss at the Us Weekly Hollywood 2007 Party at Club Sugar on Thursday night in Hollywood, Calif.

“I pick out all her dresses, for the most part,” Marc told USA Today at the bash, which honored Jennifer as Style Icon of the Year.

“I’m her purse,” added Marc. “At these things, that’s my purpose and you’ve got to know what your purpose is.” Marc’s suit apparently carried eye shadow, lipstick and other beauty items!

Angelina Jolie appeared yesterday at a press conference for the launch of Global Action for Children, a group that raises money for orphans in developing countries.

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:15:50 GMT

And it's all about the orphans. Angelina Jolie appeared yesterday at a press conference for the launch of Global Action for Children, a group that raises money for orphans in developing countries.

"I am here to simply ask you to think about orphaned children not as a burden but as a great opportunity," Jolie said at the event. "Their education is an investment in our future. ... They have had to work very, very hard to survive, but when they are given a chance, they grow strong, stronger than most. ... The Lost Boys of Sudan are a great example."

Global Action for Children aims to increase U.S. funding for orphans in developing countries by $2.5 billion per year.

Hollywood’s hot new couple, Hilary Duff and Rosie O’Donnell, out for a night on the town.

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:13:07 GMT

Hollywood’s hot new couple, Hilary Duff and Rosie O’Donnell, out for a night on the town.

Can you beat my caption?

Maria Menounos is Ridiculously Hot

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:12:06 GMT

So, first of all, let me apologize for today's previous posts which feature Tyra Banks grabbing Rosie O'Donnell's breasts, and Britney Spears' saggy breasts going in all kinds of crazy directions. I like to keep things pretty, here on Egotastic!, but sometimes you have to deal with the ugly side of life.

Anyway, I hope these pictures of Maria Menounos looking drop-dead gorgeous at the premiere of her new movie, Kickin' It Old School, will make up for it. There's a lot more after the jump, so enjoy.

Cops: Sandra Bullock Watches as Hubby Attacked!

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:07:09 GMT

Police sources tell TMZ that a woman obsessed with Sandra Bullock almost killed Sandra's husband, motorcycle mogul Jesse James, during a frightening attack at the couple's Orange County home late Sunday night.

Cops say that Bullock, along with James' 10-year-old child, looked on in horror as Marcia Valentine "attempted 3 or 4 times to run Jesse James over with her silver Mercedes." Jesse was never struck by the car during the alleged incident.

We're told Valentine also "laid in the driveway and wouldn't move."

Orange County Sheriffs were contacted and responded to the scene, but Valentine allegedly fled before they arrived. After an intense manhunt, officers located Valentine early Monday morning and took her into custody.

Valentine is being held on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon.

UPDATE: In an exclusive statement to TMZ, the couple's rep, Cheryl Maisel, said, "The incident did occur. Both Jesse James and Sandra Bullock are fine and it is now in the hands of the authorities."

This Crazy Woman Tried to Run Over Sandra Bullock’s Man

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:06:01 GMT

Police sources tell TMZ that a woman obsessed with Sandra Bullock almost killed Sandra's husband, motorcycle mogul Jesse James, during a frightening attack at the couple's Orange County home late Sunday night.

Cops say that Bullock, along with James' 10-year-old child, looked on in horror as Marcia Valentine "attempted 3 or 4 times to run Jesse James over with her silver Mercedes." Jesse was never struck by the car during the alleged incident.

We're told Valentine also "laid in the driveway and wouldn't move."

Orange County Sheriffs were contacted and responded to the scene, but Valentine allegedly fled before they arrived. After an intense manhunt, officers located Valentine early Monday morning and took her into custody.

Valentine is being held on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon.

In an exclusive statement to TMZ, the couple's rep, Cheryl Maisel, said, "The incident did occur. Both Jesse James and Sandra Bullock are fine and it is now in the hands of the authorities."

Hugh Grant's Baked Bean Beat Down and arrested

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:05:12 GMT

These shots of Hugh Grant flipping out at the paparazzi, throwing a container of baked beans and kicking at them got Hugh arrested today!...

Drew Barrymore Named People’s Most Beautiful

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:04:21 GMT

I’ll get straight to the point. People Magazine has given Drew Barrymore the number one spot in their annual “100 Most Beautiful People” list. Here are just a few of the other “most beautiful” celebrities who made it on to the list but were beaten out by Drew Barrymore for the top honour:

Angelina Jolie
Scarlett Johansson
Jennifer Garner
Jennifer Aniston
Reese Witherspoon
Halle Berry
Julia Roberts
Jennifer Lopez
Tyra Banks
Nicole Kidman

Even though I think Drew is cute and looked really cute in 50 First Dates, I just don’t see how they didn’t name Angelina Jolie or Jessica Alba as the most beautiful. I mean, Drew Barrymore is cute; Angelina Jolie is drop dead gorgeous.

Ash Rocks the Short Skirt, Oversized Bag

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:03:32 GMT

Ashley Olsen hit Manhattan with her beefy bodyguard in tow this week. She looked pretty dressed down and like she was enjoying the warmer weather in that short skirt. Yay! She is dressed appropriate for the season! Olsen recognizing weather patterns! Wheee! Sorry, sorry, there's been Olsen shortage recently. Her penchant for shopping and improved ability to dress herself aside, Fab's got a look at the upcoming designs for The Row (her fashion line with MK) and it looks good. Maybe my favorite pint sized fashionistas will have an adult career yet.

A Single Petra Nemcova Is Way Hotter

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:02:30 GMT

It’s been a while since I did a post on Petra Nemcova and that’s mainly because she was dating that no talent hack James Blunt. It hurt too much emotionally to do posts on her knowing that he was having his way with her and I wasn’t! Well, now that she’s single again, Petra’s stock has risen back to where it once was here on Hollywood Tuna, and I predict you’ll be seeing a lot more of her in the near future… especially if she keeps showing up to events looking like this. And now that she’s single and just waiting for me to come knock on her door, I predict that Petra and I will be having a lovely Czech wedding in the upcoming weeks. So what if she doesn’t know it yet?

Bush official resigns over escort links

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 12:42:43 GMT

Randall Tobias, head of the Bush administration's foreign aid programs, abruptly resigned Friday after his name surfaced in an investigation into a high-priced call-girl ring, said two people in a position to know the circumstances of his departure.

It was Tobias' own decision to resign, according to one of the people, who said the issue came up only in the past day or so. The people spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because the investigation is still under way.

Tobias submitted his resignation a day after he was interviewed by ABC News for an upcoming program about an alleged prostitution service run by the so-called D.C. Madam.

ABC reported on its Web site late Friday that Tobias confirmed that he had called the Pamela Martin and Associates escort service to have women come to his condo and give him massages. More recently, Tobias told the network, he has been using a service with Central American women.

Tobias, 65, who is married, told ABC News there had been "no sex" during the women's visits to his condo. His name was on a list of clients given to ABC by Deborah Jeane Palfrey, who owns the escort service and has been charged with running a prostitution ring in the nation's capital.

U.S. officials would not confirm the information. A message left on Tobias' voice mail seeking comment was not returned.

Friday evening, the State Department put out a statement announcing Tobias' resignation, saying he "informed Secretary of State
Condoleezza Rice today that he must step down as Director of U.S. Foreign Assistance and U.S. Agency for International Development Administrator effective immediately."

"He is returning to private life for personal reasons," the statement said.

Tobias held two titles: director of U.S. foreign assistance and administrator for the U.S. Agency for International Development. His rank was equivalent to deputy secretary of state.

Rice named Tobias to head the two programs in January 2006, and on Wednesday was at the White House, where
President Bush praised his efforts coordinating global
AIDS relief. Tobias had been the White House's coordinator for global AIDS relief before taking the USAID post.

On Wednesday, Tobias attended a luncheon at the State Department with Undersecretary of State Karen Hughes and actress Angelina Jolie, who was in Washington pushing for more U.S. education aid for developing countries.

Before joining the administration, Tobias was a director and chairman of Eli Lilly and Co., the Indianapolis-based pharmaceutical company.

"The lives saved and made better around the globe by Randy's work at the State Department constitute a rich legacy on which he can look back with justifiable pride," department spokesman Sean McCormack said Friday.

Tobias was the second public figure identified as a customer of Palfrey's service. Palfrey recently made good on her threat to identify high-profile clients, listing in court documents a military strategist known for his "shock and awe" combat theories.

Palfrey, 50, was indicted in March by a federal grand jury on charges of running the alleged call-girl ring from her home in Vallejo, Calif. She has denied the escort service engaged in prostitution.

Palfrey claimed she has 46 pounds of phone records involving clients. Efforts to reach her late Friday were unsuccessful. Montgomery Blair Sibley, an attorney who represents Palfrey in non-criminal cases, declined to comment.

In court records, prosecutors estimate that her business, Pamela Martin and Associates, generated more than $2 million in revenue over 13 years, with more than 130 women employed at various times to serve thousands of clients at $200 to $300 a session.

Palfrey had threatened to sell phone records that would identify 10,000 clients to pay for her criminal defense, but a federal judge ordered her not to release them. Palfrey, however, gave them to ABC News before the order took effect.

Prosecutors have accused Palfrey of trying to intimidate potential witnesses by exposing them publicly

Rosie o Donnell's blog

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 11:53:06 GMT

Rosie o donnell s real blog

Blood Atonement in the Mormon Church

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:56:09 GMT

It is a well-known fact that the early Mormons suffered a good deal of persecution at the hands of the Gentiles-i.e., non-Mormons. The prophet Joseph Smith and his brother were murdered by a cowardly mob that took the law into their own hands. A number of Mormons lost their lives during these early years. Unfortunately, however, many Mormon historians have overlooked the other side of the story.

During the early years of Mormonism it was frequently alleged that the leaders of the church sanctioned the practice of putting both Gentiles and Mormon apostates to death. In 1969-70, we made a detailed study of the charges and published our conclusions in a book entitled, The Mormon Kingdom, Vol. 2. The evidence that we marshalled convinced us that many of the claims were genuine. Since doing this research we found even more evidence to verify that there was a conspiracy to destroy dissenters and other people that the Mormon leaders hated.

While many Mormon scholars would like to scoff at those who have seriously studied this matter, there is incontrovertible proof that Brigham Young, the second prophet of the Mormon Church, publicly preached a doctrine called "blood atonement." Although one might think that the name of this doctrine came from the atonement of Jesus on the cross, the truth of the matter is that it relates to people being put to death. Brigham Young explained this in a sermon given on September 21, 1856:

"There are sins that men commit for which they cannot receive forgiveness in this world, or in that which is to come, and if they had their eyes open to see their true condition, they would be perfectly willing to have their blood spilt upon the ground, that the smoke thereof might ascend to heaven as an offering for their sins; and the smoking incense would atone for their sins, whereas, if such is not the case, they will stick to them and remain upon them in the spirit world.

"I know, when you hear my brethren telling about cutting people off from the earth, that you consider it is strong doctrine; but it is to save them, not to destroy them....

"And further more, I know that there are transgressors, who, if they knew themselves, and the only condition upon which they can obtain forgiveness, would beg of their brethren to shed their blood, that the smoke thereof might ascend to God as an offering to appease the wrath that is kindled against them, and that the law might have its course. I will say further;

I have had men come to me and offer their lives to atone for their sins.

"It is true that the blood of the Son of God was shed for sins through the fall and those committed by men, yet men can commit sins which it can never remit.... There are sins that can be atoned for by an offering upon an altar, as in ancient days; and there are sins that the blood of a lamb, or a calf, or of turtle dove, cannot remit, but they must be atoned for by the blood of the man." (Sermon by Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 4, pages 53-54); also published in the Mormon Church's Deseret News, 1856, page 235)

On another occasion Brigham Young made this chilling statement regarding a person's obligation to spill the blood of those who committed serious sins:

"Now take a person in this congregation who has knowledge with regard to being saved... and suppose that he is overtaken in a gross fault, that he has committed a sin that he knows will deprive him of that exaltation which he desires, and that he cannot attain to it without the shedding his blood, and also knows that by having his blood shed he will atone for that sin and be saved and exalted with the Gods, is there a man or woman in this house but what would say, 'shed my blood that I may be saved and exalted with the Gods?'

"All mankind love themselves, and let these principles be known by an individual, and he would be glad to have his blood shed. That would be loving themselves, even unto an eternal exaltation. Will you love your brothers and sisters likewise, when they have committed a sin that cannot be atoned for without the shedding of their blood? Will you love that man or woman well enough to shed their blood? That is what Jesus Christ meant....

"I could refer you to plenty of instances where men have been righteously slain, in order to atone for their sins. I have seen scores and hundreds of people for whom there would have been a chance... if their lives had been taken and their blood spilled on the ground as a smoking incense to the Almighty, but who are now angels to the Devil... I have known a great many men who have left this Church for whom there is no chance whatever for exaltation, but if their blood had been spilled, it would have been better for them....

"This is loving our neighbor as ourselves; if he needs help, help him; and if he wants salvation and it is necessary to spill his blood on the earth in order that he may be saved, spill it.... if you have sinned a sin requiring the shedding of blood, except the sin unto death, would not be satisfied nor rest until your blood should be spilled, that you might gain that salvation you desire. That is the way to love mankind." (Sermon by President Brigham Young, delivered in the Mormon Tabernacle, February 8, 1857; printed in the Deseret News, February 18, 1857; also reprinted in the Journal of Discourses, Vol. 4, pages 219-220)

These are only two of many "blood atonement" sermons preached by Mormon leaders. Sandra Tanner, one of the authors of this newsletter who is also the great-great-granddaughter of Brigham Young, was greatly shocked when she read Young's sermons. This, in fact, was an important factor in her decision to leave the Mormon Church.

In 1958, Gustive O. Larson, Professor of Church History at the church's Brigham Young University, acknowledged that blood atonement was actually practiced. He related the following:

"To whatever extent the preaching on blood atonement may have influenced action, it would have been in relation to Mormon disciplinary action among its own members. In point would be a verbally reported case of a Mr. Johnson in Cedar City who was found guilty of adultery with his stepdaughter by a bishop's court and sentenced to death for atonement of his sin. According to the report of reputable eyewitnesses, judgment was executed with consent of the offender who went to his unconsecrated grave in full confidence of salvation through the shedding of his blood. Such a case, however primitive, is understandable within the meaning of the doctrine and the emotional extremes of the [Mormon] Reformation." (Utah Historical Quarterly, January, 1958, page 62, note 39)

This may be the same case spoken of by John D. Lee, who was sealed to Brigham Young and was a member of Young's secret Council of Fifty:

"The most deadly sin among the people was adultery, and many men were killed in Utah for the crime.

"Rasmos Anderson was a Danish man who came to Utah... He had married a widow lady somewhat older than himself... At one of the meetings during the reformation Anderson and his step-daughter confessed that they had committed adultery... they were rebaptized and received into full membership. They were then placed under covenant that if they again committed adultery, Anderson should suffer death. Soon after this a charge was laid against Anderson before the Council, accusing him of adultery with his step-daughter. This Council was composed of Klingensmith and his two counselors; it was the Bishop's Council. Without giving Anderson any chance to defend himself or make a statement, the Council voted that Anderson must die for violating his covenants. Klingensmith went to Anderson and notified him that the orders were that he must die by having his throat cut, so that the running of his blood would atone for his sins. Anderson, being a firm believer in the doctrines and teachings of the Mormon Church, made no objections... His wife was ordered to prepare a suit of clean clothing, in which to have her husband buried... she being directed to tell those who should inquire after her husband that he had gone to California.

"Klingensmith, James Haslem, Daniel McFarland and John M. Higbee dug a grave in the field near Cedar City, and that night, about 12 o'clock, went to Anderson's house and ordered him to make ready to obey Council. Anderson got up... and without a word of remonstrance accompanied those that he believed were carrying out the will of the "Almighty God." They went to the place where the grave was prepared; Anderson knelt upon the side of the grave and prayed. Klingensmith and his company then cut Anderson's throat from ear to ear and held him so that his blood ran into the grave.

"As soon as he was dead they dressed him in his clean clothes, threw him into the grave and buried him. They then carried his bloody clothing back to his family, and gave them to his wife to wash... She obeyed their orders.... Anderson was killed just before the Mountain Meadows massacre. The killing of Anderson was then considered a religious duty and a just act. It was justified by all the people, for they were bound by the same covenants, and the least word of objection to thus treating the man who had broken his covenant would have brought the same fate upon the person who was so foolish as to raise his voce against any act committed by order of the Church authorities."( Confessions of John D. Lee, Photo-reprint of 1877 edition, pages 282-283)

In the same book John D. Lee made this startling statement:

"I knew of many men being killed in Nauvoo... and I know of many a man who was quietly put out of the way by the orders of Joseph and his Apostles while the Church was there." (Ibid., page 284) Lee also revealed another very cruel practice which took place both in Nauvoo, Illinois, and in early Utah:

"In Utah it has been the custom with the Priesthood to make eunuchs of such men as were obnoxious to the leaders. This was done for a double purpose: first, it gave a perfect revenge, and next, it left the poor victim a living example to others of the dangers of disobeying counsel and not living as ordered by the Priesthood.

"In Nauvoo it was the orders from Joseph Smith and his apostles to beat, wound and castrate all Gentiles that the police could take in the act of entering or leaving a Mormon household under circumstances that led to the belief that they had been there for immoral purposes.... In Utah it was the favorite revenge of old, worn-out members of the Priesthood, who wanted young women sealed to them, and found that the girl preferred some handsome young man. The old priests generally got the girls, and many a young man was unsexed for refusing to give up his sweetheart at the request of an old and failing, but still sensual apostle or member of the Priesthood. As an illustration... Warren Snow was Bishop of the Church at Manti, San Pete County, Utah. He had several wives, but there was a fair, buxom young woman in the town that Snow wanted for a wife.... She thanked him for the honor offered, but told him she was then engaged to a young man, a member of the Church, and consequently could not marry the old priest.... He told her it was the will of God that she should marry him, and she must do so; that the young man could be got rid of, sent on a mission or dealt with in some way... that, in fact, a promise made to the young man was not binding, when she was informed that it was contrary to the wishes of the authorities.

"The girl continued obstinate.... the authorities called on the young man and directed him to give up the young woman. This he steadfastly refused to do.... He remained true to his intended, and said he would die before he would surrender his intended wife to the embraces of another.... The young man was ordered to go on a mission to some distant locality... But the mission was refused...

"It was then determined that the rebellious young man must be forced by harsh treatment to respect the advice and orders of the Priesthood. His fate was left to Bishop Snow for his decision. He decided that the young man should be castrated; Snow saying, 'When that is done, he will not be liable to want the girl badly, and she will listen to reason when she knows that her lover is no longer a man.'

"It was then decided to call a meeting of the people who lived true to counsel, which was held in the school-house in Manti... The young man was there, and was again requested, ordered and threatened, to get him to surrender the young woman to Snow, but true to his plighted troth, he refused to consent to give up the girl. The lights were then put out. An attack was made on the young man. He was severely beaten, and then tied with his back down on a bench, when Bishop Snow took a bowie-knife, and performed the operation in a most brutal manner, and then took the portion severed from his victim and hung it up in the school-house on a nail, so that it could be seen by all who visited the house afterwards.

"The party then left the young man weltering in his blood, and in a lifeless condition. During the night he succeeded in releasing himself from his confinement, and dragged himself to some hay-stacks, where he lay until the next day, when he was discovered by his friends. The young man regained his health, but has been an idiot or quite lunatic ever since....

"After this outrage old Bishop Snow took occasion to getup a meeting... When all had assembled, the old man talked to the people about their duty to the Church, and their duty to obey counsel, and the dangers of refusal, and then publicly called attention to the mangled parts of the young man, that had been severed from his person, and stated that the deed had been done to teach the people that the counsel of the Priesthood must be obeyed. To make a long story short, I will say, the young woman was soon after forced into being sealed to Bishop Snow.

"Brigham Young... did nothing against Snow. He left him in charge as Bishop at Manti, and ordered the matter to be hushed up." ( Ibid., pages 284-286)

Mormons today would be appalled if such a dastardly deed was committed and would demand that the persons responsible be severely punished. Brigham Young, however, approved of many violent acts perpetrated by those he put in authority. Interestingly, D. Michael Quinn found documented evidence showing that President Young supported Bishop Warren S. Snow's cruel mistreatment of the young man:

"In the midsummer of 1857 Brigham Young also expressed approval for an LDS bishop who had castrated a man. In May 1857 Bishop Warren S. Snow's counselor wrote that twenty-four-year-old Thomas Lewis 'has now gone crazy' after being castrated by Bishop Snow for an undisclosed sex crime. When informed of Snow's action, Young said: 'I feel to sustain him...' In July Brigham Young wrote a reassuring letter to the bishop about this castration: 'Just let the matter drop, and say no more about it,' the LDS president advised, 'and it will soon die away among the people.' "(The Mormon Hierarchy: Extensions of Power, Vol. 2, pages 250-251)

On November 30, 1871, T. B. H. Stenhouse received a letter by an individual who was present at a meeting in Provo, Utah. The letter indicated that Bishop Blackburn was also strongly pushing for the emasculation of men who were disobedient to their leaders:

"'Dear Stenhouse: I Have read carefully the accompanying statement about the "Reformation."... If you want to travel wider and show the effect in the country of the inflammatory speeches delivered in Salt Lake City at that time, you can mention the Potter and Parrish murders at Springville, the barbarous castration of a young man in San Pete, and, to cap the climax, the Mountain-Meadows massacre... Threats of personal violence or death were common in the settlements against all who dared to speak against the priesthood, or in any way protest against this "reign of terror."

"'I was at a Sunday meeting in the spring of 1857, in Provo, when the news of the San Pete castration was referred to by the presiding bishop-Blackburn. Some men in Provo had rebelled against authority in some trivial matter, and Blackburn shouted in his Sunday meeting-a mixed congregation of all ages and both sexes-"I want the people of Provo to understand that the boys in Provo can use the knife as well as the boys in San Pete. Boys, get your knives ready, there is work for you! We must not be behind San Pete in good works." The result of this was that two citizens, named Hooper and Beauvere, both having families at Provo, left the following night... Their only offence was rebellion against the priesthood.

"'This man, Blackburn, was continued in office at least a year after this...

"'The qualifications for a bishop were a blind submission and obedience to Brigham and the authorities, and a firm unrelented government of his subjects." (The Rocky Mountain Saints, by T. B. H. Stenhouse, 1873, pages 301-302)

This is a very important letter because it throws additional light upon President Brigham Young's knowledge regarding emasculation in early Utah. According to Wilford Woodruff's journal, not long after Warren S. Snow's cowardly attack on Thomas Lewis, President Young discussed the matter of castration being used to save people:

"I then went into the president office & spent the evening. Bishop Blackburn was present. The subject Came up of some persons leaving Provo who had Apostatized. Some thought that Bishop Blackburn & President Snow was to blame. Brother Joseph Young presented the thing to presidet Young. But When the Circumstances were told Presidet Brigham Young sustained the Brethren who presided at Provo....

"The subjects of Eunuchs came up... Brigham Said the day would Come when thousands would be made Eunochs in order for them to be saved in the kingdom of God." (Wilford Woodruff's Diary, June 2, 1857, Vol. 5, pages 54-55)

In 1861, Apostle Orson Hyde met with Wilford Woodruff and indicated that he believed Warren Snow was guilty of stealing. Wilford Woodruff wrote the following in his journal:

"He spoke of his mission in sanpete and the unwise Course of Bishop Warren Snow, & George Pecock his first councillor. They have squandered a large amount of tithing funds, County taxes &c & Brother Hyde thinks from Testimony guilty of stealing many Cattle." (Ibid., Vol. 5, page 554)

It is astounding to think that the prophet of the Mormon Church would allow such a man as Warren Snow to function as a bishop in the church. Unfortunately, however, President Young went so far as to give him a special blessing. Wilford Woodruff recorded the following in his journal under the date of April 1, 1861: "Warren Stone Snow was Blessed By Presidet Young who gave him a very good Blessing." (Ibid., page 571) Moreover, in 1867, he was given the opportunity to preach in the Mormon Tabernacle (see Vol. 6, page 319). In a public discourse President Young acknowledged that the church had use for some very mean devils who resided in early Utah:

"And if the Gentiles wish to see a few tricks, we have 'Mormons' that can perform them. We have the meanest devils on the earth in our midst, and we intend to keep them, for we have use for them; and if the Devil does not look sharp, we will cheat him out of them at the last, for they will reform and go to heaven with us." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 6, page 176)

Orrin Porter Rockwell was certainly one of Brigham Young's "meanest devils." Rockwell, who had served as a bodyguard for Joseph Smith, did not hesitate to shed blood.... Bill Hickman was another ruthless man who killed many people. In his book Brigham's Destroying Angel, Hickman confessed that he had committed murders for the church.

In 1858, an extremely grotesque double murder was committed. Henry Jones and his mother were both put to death. These murders were obviously the direct result of Brigham Young's doctrine of "blood atonement." Two months before Henry Jones was actually murdered, he was viciously attacked. Hosea Stout, a very dedicated Mormon defender, wrote the following regarding the first attack on Jones:

"Saturday 27 Feb 1858. This evening several persons disguised as Indians entered Henry Jones' house and dragged him out of bed with a whore and castrated him by a square & close amputation." (On the Mormon Frontier; The Diary of Hosea Stout, Vol. 2, page 653)

One would think that this would have ended the vendetta against Jones. Unfortunately, this was not the case. On April 19, 1859, the newspaper Valley Tan printed an affidavit by Nathaniel Case which contained a statement implicating a bishop and other Mormons who lived in Payson:

"Nathaniel Case being sworn, says: that he has resided in the Territory of Utah since the year 1850; lived with Bishop Hancock (Charles Hancock) in the town of Payson, at the time Henry Jones and his mother were murdered... The night prior to the murder a secret council meeting was held in the upper room of Bishop Hancock's house; saw Charles Hancock, George W. Hancock, Daniel Rawson, James Bracken, George Patten and Price Nelson go into that meeting that night.... About 8 o'clock in the evening of the murder the company gathered at Bishop Hancock's... They said they were going to guard a corral where Henry Jones was going to come that night and steal horses; they had guns.

"I had a good mini rifle and Bishop Hancock wanted to borrow it; I refused to lend it to him. The above persons all went away together... Next morning I heard that Henry Jones and his mother had been killed. I wnet [sic] down to the dug-out where they lived... The old woman was laying on the ground in the dugout on a little straw, in the clothes in which she was killed. She had a bullet hole through her head... In about 15 or 20 minutes Henry Jones was brought there and laid by her side; they then threw some old bed clothes over them and an old feather bed and then pulled the dug-out on top of them....

"The next Sunday after the murder, in a church meeting in Payson, Charles Hancock, the bishop, said, as to the killing of Jones and his mother he cared nothing about it, and it would have been done in daylight if circumstances would have permitted it.-This was said from the stand; there were 150 or 200 persons present. He gave no reason for killing them. And further saith not. Nathaniel Case.

"Sworn to and signed before me this 9th day of April, 1859.

John Cradlebaugh, Judge 2nd Judicial District."

Those who murdered Henry Jones and his mother may have remembered President Brigham Young's sermon which was delivered just two years prior to these murders: "Suppose you found your brother in bed with your wife, and put a javelin through both of them, you would be justified, and they would atone for their sins, and be received into the kingdom of God. I would at once do so in such a case; under such circumstances. I have no wife whom I love so well that I would not put a javelin through her heart, and I would do it with clean hands." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 3, page 247)

In his book, The Mormon hierarchy: Extensions of Power, Vol. 2, pages 241-261, Dr. Quinn presented compelling evidence showing that "blood atonement" was endorsed by church leaders and actually practiced by the Mormon people. Quinn gave the names of a number of violent men who served as "enforcers" for Brigham Young. In addition Quinn wrote:

"During this period Brigham Young and other Mormon leaders also repeatedly preached about specific sins for which it was necessary to shed the blood of men and women. Blood-atonement sins included adultery, apostasy, 'covenant breaking,' counterfeiting, 'many men who left this Church,' murder, not being 'heartily on the Lord's side,' profaning 'the name of the Lord,' sexual intercourse between a 'white' person and an African-American, stealing, and telling lies....

"Some LDS historians have claimed that blood-atonement sermons were simply Brigham Young's use of 'rhetorical devices designed to frighten wayward individuals into conformity with Latter-day Saint principles' and to bluff anti-Mormons. Writers often describe these sermons as limited to the religious enthusiasm and frenzy of the Utah Reformation up to 1857. The first problem with such explanations is that official LDS sources show that as early as 1843 Joseph Smith and his counselor Sidney Rigdon advocated decapitation or throat-cutting as punishment for various crimes and sins.

"Moreover, a decade before Utah's reformation, Brigham Young's private instructions show that he fully expected his trusted associates to kill various persons for violating religious obligations. The LDS church's official history still quotes Young's words to 'the brethren' in February 1846: 'I should be perfectly willing to see thieves have their throats cut.' The following December he instructed bishops, 'when a man is found to be a thief, he will be a thief no longer, cut his throat, & thro' him in the River,' and Young did not instruct them to ask his permission. A week later the church president explained to a Winter Quarters meeting that cutting off the heads of repeated sinners 'is the law of God & it shall be executed...' A rephrase of Young's words later appeared in Hosea Stout's reference to a specific sinner, 'to cut him off-behind the ears-according to the law of God in such cases.'...

"When informed that a black Mormon in Massachusetts had married a white woman, Brigham Young told the apostles in December 1847 that he would have both of them killed 'if they were far away from the Gentiles.'"(The Mormon Hierarchy: Extensions of Power, Vol. 2, pages 246-247)

While we do not have room for extensively quotations from Quinn's book, the following are some extracts:

"In September 1857 Apostle George A. Smith told a Salt Lake City congregation that Mormons at Parowan in southern Utah 'wish that their enemies might come and give them a chance to fight and take vengeance for the cruelties that had been inflicted upon us in the States.' Smith had just returned from southern Utah where he had encouraged such feelings by preaching fiery sermons about resisting the U.S. army and taking vengeance on anti-Mormons. Just days before his talk in Salt Lake City, members of Parowan's Mormon militia participated in killing 120 men, women, and children in the Mountain Meadows Massacre....

"Although most accounts claimed that the militia killed only the adult males and let their Indian allies kill the women and children, perpetrator Nephi Johnson later told an LDS apostle that 'white men did most of the killing.' Perpetrator George W. Adair also told another apostle that 'John Higbee gave the order to kill the women and children,' and Adair 'saw the women's and children's throats cut.'...

"As late as 1868 the Deseret News encouraged rank-and-file Mormons to kill anyone who engaged in sexual relations outside marriage....

"Under such circumstances the Mormon hierarchy bore full responsibility for the violent acts of zealous Mormon[s] who accepted their instructions literally and carried out various forms of blood atonement. 'Obviously there were those who could not easily make a distinction between rhetoric and reality,' a BYU religion professor has written.... It is unrealistic to assume that faithful Mormons all declined to act on such repeated instructions in pioneer Utah.... Neither is it reasonable to assume that the known cases of blood atonement even approximated the total number that occurred in the first twenty years after Mormon settlement in Utah.... LDS leaders publicly and privately encouraged Mormons to consider it their religious right to kill antagonistic outsiders, common criminals, LDS apostates, and even faithful Mormons who committed sins 'worthy of death.'" (The Mormon Hierarchy: Extensions of Power, Vol. 2, pages 251-53, 56-57, 60)

On pages 804-805, of the same book, Quinn reported concerning a murder committed in 1902:

"5 Apr., 'Clyde Felt has confessed to cutting the throat of old man Collins, at his request. The old man was a moral degenerate. The boy is a son of David P. Felt.' Grandson of former general authority, Clyde Felt is fourteen. Despite this blood atonement murder, LDS leaders allow [the] young man to be endowed and married in temple eight years later."

Although we cannot be certain, this may be the last known case of "blood atonement" committed by Mormons. It should be noted, however, that at least two groups (the Lebarons and the Laffertys) broke off from the Mormon Church and still hold to Brigham Young's teaching of "blood atonement." Consequently, they committed a significant number of "blood atonement" murders between 1972 and 1988.

While Dr. Quinn's book, The Mormon Hierarchy: Extention of Power, Vol. 2, presents plenty of evidence to establish the fact that "blood atonement" murders were committed by the early Mormons, Quinn did not have the space to deal at length with this important issue. To compliment Quinn's excellent work we highly recommend our book, The Mormon Kingdom, Vol. 2. In this book we have actual photographs from the church's Deseret News confirming that church leaders strongly supported the doctrine of "blood atonement."...

------------------------------------------------------------------

Other references on the doctrine, teaching, and practice of "Blood Atonement":

Salt Lake City Messenger, February 1991: "Brigham Young and Wild Bill Hickman"-A comprehensive look into J. H. Beadle's Book on Bill Hickman. Included are answers to Mormon apologist's attempts to discredit Beadle's book, and a look at Hickman's great-granddaughter's book, "Wild Bill" Hickman and the Mormon Frontier, which confirms much of Beadle's work.

Brigham's Destroying Angel: Chapter V of Bill Hickman's autobiographical manuscript, edited by J. H. Beadle. Contains the full transcripts of many events referred to in the above article, including the murder of Richard Yates, the Massacre of the Aiken party from California, and other incidents related to Danite activities, "blood atonement," and the "Utah war" of 1857-58.

The Life and Confessions of John D. Lee-Chapter XVIII In 1857 and emigrant train of one-hundred and twenty-one men, women and children traveling through the Utah territory, was brutally massacred by a combined force of Indians and Mormon militia at what has become known as the "Mountain Meadows Massacre." The Life and Confessions of John D. Lee, was written by Lee before his execution for his involvement in the killings, and published 1877 by his attorney William W. Bishop. It offers a great insight not only into the circumstances that led to that tragic event, but also details such topics as The Danites, blood-atonement, the murder of gentiles and dissenting church members, and the abuse of power.

The Life and Confessions of John D. Lee-Chapter XIX The conclusion of Lee's testimony tells how church leaders attempted to cover-up the massacre at Mountain Meadows. When testimony from Mormons and Gentiles pointed to church leaders' involvement in the affair, Lee was used as a scapegoat to appease the American people, and protect "God's Anointed." Lee's testimony, given just seven days before his execution, gives additional information on the Danites or "Avenging Angels." He details the murders, and attempted murders, of both Gentiles and church members ordered by LDS leaders. Included are the willing "blood-atonement" of Rasmos Anderson for adultery, and the castration of a young man who would not give his fiancee as a plural wife to Bishop Snow of Manti, Utah.

GigaOM » Kutaragi to Step Down From Sony

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 21:50:44 GMT

In an announcement that shouldn’t surprise regular GigaOM readers in the slightest (warning signs emerged as far back as last February, and reached crescendo pitch in November and December), Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. just announced that CEO Ken Kutaragi, the “father of the Playstation”, will leave his post in June and become an “honorary chairman of SCEI”.

By most appearances, his new title will be an “emeritus” position in the sense attributed to Rupert Murdoch, when he showed a Newscorp exec the door: “The ‘e’ means you’ve been given the elbow and the ‘meritus’ means that you bloody deserve it!” Unsurprisingly, most analysts attribute the departure to the Playstation 3’s poor performance against the Wii, and worst blow of all, as compared to the Xbox 360.

Not entirely deserved, however, for despite the numerous missteps in its development, pricing, and marketing, the PS3 ultimately failed because Kutaragi succeeded with the PS2 so well. Though seven years old now, the Playstation 2 is still selling better than the Playstation 3; with a 116 million+ installed base, a massive library, and a list price under $100, there’s little incentive for Playstation fans to spend $600 upgrading. (Especially when quality backward compatibility was in doubt.)

So there’s tragic irony in Kutaragi’s departure. Having transformed videogaming into a truly massive entertainment medium, he seems to have assumed that the market he did so much to create would follow him to the next level.

As IDC analyst Billy Pidgeon put it to the AP, “Sony didn’t notice that their audience was dwindling and didn’t increase the base by playing to a wider demographic, and instead it played the old-school game of playing to the 18- to 32-year-old male early adopter.” But in those seven years, the young men who had eagerly snatched up the PS2 were now having kids of their own, making them ripe targets for a console that could appeal to their whole family. So rises the Wii– and so goes Kutaragi-san.

Katie Trapped, Forced to Take Mommy Lessons

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 19:13:39 GMT

OMG, you guys, Katie has no way out!! If the most recent cover of Us Weekly is to be believed, that is. They're saying that Katie Holmes is stuck between a Tom Cruise and a hard place. The hard place, of course, being her husband's love for Scientology and need to surround himself and Katie with fellow Scientologists at all times. The magazine claims that Tom has forced Katie to take "mommy classes" based in the religion, which is apparently (an understandably) offending the 28-year-old new mother.

Once again, Victoria Beckham is billed as Katie's only real link to the outside world (wow, that makes things sound creepier than usual) and the magazine goes so far as to make it seem like Katie is constantly watched by the array of "minders" and "handlers" lurking around the estate. As usual, this all sounds like a bit of an exaggeration, though I'd imagine Tom's devotion to the religion could get trying, especially if Katie doesn't subscribe to all its tenets. Honestly though, we'll never know what goes on behind those closed doors -- so I can't blame anyone for speculating. Me, I'm just happy to keep tabs on Suri's hair.

Drew and Jessica Are Most Beautiful Makeup Free

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 19:11:45 GMT

It's not often you get to see celebs without their makeup on, but People somehow convinced some of Hollywood's biggest stars to take it off for their Most Beautiful People issue. Jessica Biel and Katharine McPhee are just some of the ladies who take it all off for the issue and talk about their personal concepts of beauty. Fresh-faced cover girl Drew says that what makes her feel the most beautiful isn't exactly what you'd think. Here are highlights:

* Drew on when she feels the most beautiful:
Right after I've worked out and I'm sweating all over the place and my face is two different colors of white and red and my hair is half wet, half dry and I look like I'm about to have a heart attack. I feel like I've changed the shape of my body temporarily into something more flexible and strong.
* Jessica on going without makeup:
"There's a vulnerability to being photographed without having your eyes defined or your eyebrows filled in, but I don't wear a lot of makeup in my personal life," says the actress, 25. "I find that men, in my past, have preferred me without it. They always said, 'No, take that off.'"

Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 19:13:28 GMT

Official website

Kristin Cavallari - Overhyped And Overpriced

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:54:32 GMT

The weekend is finally here and I’m stepping outside for the first time in two weeks! Yes, I’ve been living in a bubble ever since I left Florida. The weather here has been awful but today is sunny and warm, so there’s no way I’m going to sit in front of the computer! As an apology, I present to you Kristin Cavallari pictures.

Now a few days ago, the New York Post reported that Kristin Cavallari, is now charging club owners for appearances and there’s even a bidding war between two of them for her 21st birthday. The bids have already reached a $100 000. Not bad for her a girl that is completely useless. Just to put perspective on things, you can hire 200 really hot escorts for an hour for roughly the same price as one minor celeb named Kristin. I may not be the smartest guy around, but I still know that 200 hot strippers beat out 1, cute at best, little girl. I wish I owned a club.

Missed Connection?

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:52:44 GMT

Listen, pal, I know she's a 10, and I know you loved her in Sin City. I also know that looks aren't everything and that, despite what TV will tell you, guys like you can score girls like her. But, if you're so nervous your neurons stop firing when she touches your hand and you proceed with the "I forgot what I was going to say" face, you take yourself so far out of the game you're not even in the stadium. She'll be on the way to In-N-Out and you'll be the lonely guy in the dogs t-shirt.

Jesse Metcalfe gets Dumped after Pics with Other Woman Surface

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:51:50 GMT

Jesse Metcalfe has been dumped by girlfriend Nadine Coyle after he was
caught sharing a passionate embrace with another girl.

The Girls Aloud singer was furious after seeing photographs of the
'Desperate Housewives' actor cuddling a mystery brunette in Los Angeles
while she was working in Britain.

image
(Jesse with the other woman)

Nadine, who stuck by Jesse as he battled alcohol addiction during his recent
stint in rehab, decided she would not tolerate his actions and called off
their romance.

She told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "It's over between me and Jesse.
I'm not the kind of girl to put up with nonsense like that.

"I'm disappointed, but what can I do? There's no point hanging on when it
gets to this stage."

Last month, it was claimed Jesse was ready to propose to Nadine, after
dating her for just over a year.

A source close to the couple said at the time: "They're completely in love.

Their romance was sealed after Nadine spent time with Jesse in Los Angeles
recently.

"They are so happy together, despite living on different sides of the world.

They have learnt to deal with a transatlantic love affair very well.
Marriage is the next step."

The couple began dating last February after meeting while in Australia.

image
(Nadine and Jesse - it's over!)

This pic def sealed the deal for the breakup.

image

This image will be burned in her mind for a while until she finds another dude.

Jessica Alba Steps Up

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:40:43 GMT

Jessica Alba may be making $5 mil on her Revlon ad but she still knows how important it is to give back. Last night she helped host an event for Step Up Women's Network, a nonprofit organization dedicated to working towards improving the community for women and girls. Sara Ramirez was one of three women who were honored for her charity and philanthropy. Sara and Grey's co-star Kate Walsh shined in their fabulous dresses, even with Kate's unfortunate bangs.

The Most Punk Rock Sight Ever

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:38:30 GMT

Avril Lavigne might just be the most punk rock girl to ever walk this earth. Everything from that pink dress to the endless black death skulls, Avril screams nothing but pure 100% punk fucking rock! I also know a lot of you people will find this post ’cause you searched for her on Google, and you’re probably a superfan…so this following paragraph is directed at you.

Yes, you’re a goddamned moron. No, Avril Lavigne is not really punk rock…we just like to humor ourselves with each of her public appearances. This bitch is lucky she can still sell albums, and on a more serious note, I hope she has good budgeting skills because I don’t plan on hearing about her anymore after a few years pass by — about the time Avril will be bankrupt and turning tricks on Hollywood Blvd. for her dinner!

Alec Baldwin Is A Shitty Dad

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:37:24 GMT

An enraged Alec Baldwin unleashed a volcanic tirade of threats and insults on his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, calling her a “thoughtless little pig,” and bashing her mother Kim Basinger — and TMZ has obtained the whole thing unfiltered and raw. And, we’ve learned, the tape has now cost him his visiting rights.

After Ireland failed to answer her father’s scheduled morning phone call from New York on April 11, Alec went bersek on her voice mail, saying “Once again, I have made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone,” adding, “you have insulted me for the last time.”Switching his train of thought, Baldwin then exercised his incredible parenting skills and took a shot at his ex-wife, declaring, “I don’t give a damn that you’re 12-years-old or 11-years-old, or a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn’t care about what you do.” The irate Baldwin went on to say, “You’ve made me feel like s**t” and threatened to “straighten your ass out.”

“This crap you pull on me with this goddamn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother,” screamed Baldwin, “and you do it to me constantly over and over again.” Before hanging up, Baldwin warned the child, “You better be ready Friday the 20th to meet with me.” That’s tomorrow. We’ve learned that on Wednesday, Los Angeles County Superior Court commissioner Maren Nelson heard the tape and temporarily suspended Baldwin’s visitation rights. A hearing is set for May 4, where the judge could permanently deny Baldwin visitation or contact with Ireland.

Click here to listen to the message yourself! That dad sounds like one big fucking asshole and I can just picture his daughter getting stoned and drunk to show her rebellion. Maybe not quite yet, but then again this is Hollywood, she probably has an allowance bigger than my monthly paycheck, and I bet drugs are pretty easy to find at school. Does the DARE program work anymore? I know I rolled up doobies with my graduation certificate back in the 6th grade.

Jessica Alba’s See Through Photo Shoot

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:34:43 GMT

The sexy Jessica Alba brought her ass and toned figure to work yesterday as she posed for a Revlon campaign shoot, revealing just about everything her lingerie had covered up under that see-through dress bullshit they made her wear. I know this post is like 10 hours late, but I took time out of my evening to put together above, that wonderful collage of Jessica Alba almost naked.

Lindsay Bangs Blunt, Paris Does Too

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:34:00 GMT

It seems Paris Hilton is angry at her ex-best friend Lohan…so what’s a slut to do in this kind of situation? Sleep with that bitches man! X17 has spotted Hilton chilling with James Blunt, the reported fling of Lohan that we told you about a few weeks back. So why would Paris want to fuck a guy that looks like he just got done huffing Elmer’s glue? Well, because it’s going to piss off the fire crotch! Watch the video below of all these filthy rich bastards partying, doing drugs, and probably having more sex than you.

Lohan Snags Two Mates In One Weekend VIDEO

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:32:56 GMT

Lindsay Lohan was spotted parading around and then most likely bedding two different male friends this weekend — first musician James Blunt, and then Paris Hilton’s ex, Stavros Niarchos. It’s like one big STD cesspool! Although I’m not quite sure how Petra Nemcova feels about her boyfriend sampling some of the fire crotch. Click inside for a video of Lindsay’s rendezvous with Stavros!

Street Hooker Of The Day: Lindsay Lohan

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:30:25 GMT

Another hooker to appear twice in our feature that focuses purely on the true nature of whoring, Lindsay Lohan makes her back-alley skills known as she moves towards her next customer. What I don’t understand is why she attempts to hide herself from the camera, but I think it has something to do with the last guy she serviced — he only ordered a blow job.

Ash & Pete More Than Just Merging Hoodie Collections

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:27:16 GMT

If these pictures are any indication, things are getting hottt (with extra t's for emphasis) and heavy between Pete and Ashlee these days. I'm kidding, these are more screaming mellow and hungover, but I guess it's cute that they both love the hell out of their skinny pants and hoodies. Though, Ash honey, it's not a great sign when the dude's looking more put together and wearing the more form-fitting sweatshirt. Just saying.

JT Gets His Golf On

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:26:09 GMT

Justin got bundled up while hitting St Andrews golf course in the UK with the number one lady in his life, his mother. We're happy to see JT has had plenty of time to work on his swing prior to starting the European leg of his tour. This isn't JT's sexiest look, but he still scored a new title as Sexiest Male Musician!

Angie Gears Up to Release Her Mighty Heart

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:25:07 GMT

Angelina may play the role of mother to four young children and partner to Brad Pitt around here most of the time, but this summer we're going to get to see her playing a slightly different part -- Marianne Pearl, widow of slain American journalist Daniel Pearl. Angelina and Brad are set to debut the film, A Mighty Heart, at the extra star-studded Cannes Film Festival this summer (where Brad's Ocean's 13 will also premiere), but before then EW got a little peek into what it was like making this heavy film. Here are highlights:

On the school children paparazzi incident: "I'll say this,'' Jolie offers. ''We were in a school we were legally allowed to be in. We had permits for exactly what we were doing. And the paparazzi tried to get into the school when we were at the gate, and the parents showed up to get their kids. And the paparazzi rushed through the gates and caused chaos. It was not the film production that caused chaos. We were only guilty of bringing the paparazzi.''

Her costar on working with uber-famous Jolie: ''It would usually take about five minutes before people would figure out that it was Angelina,'' says Futterman. ''So we ended up shooting a lot of the exterior stuff in five-minute increments.''

And just think, that's when Angie is in costume. With all the buzz this movie is already getting, it'll be interesting to see if Angelina the megastar and controversial tabloid figure can take on such an intense role. Something tells me her and Brad's little ones aren't going to be seeing this one anytime soon.

Lenny and Ed Go For Casual Cool

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:23:53 GMT

Lenny Kravitz brought out his slickest shades and leather jacket for last night's Riverkeeper Benefit Dinner Honoring the Hearst Corporation in NYC. Unfortunately, he was dateless, but Ed Burns and Christy Turlington held up the cute couple factor for everyone. In my typical not being able to separate real life from television way seeing Ed makes me want to ask if he's nervous for the premiere of his new TV show starring Johnny Drama. But then I realize that's on Entourage. And Ed Burns does not have a new TV show premiering. Yeah, I've got a life. Also though, I want to finish doing Ed's tie for him.

Pierce Packing on the Pounds

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:21:39 GMT

Former James Bond star Pierce Brosnan starts to show his fall from 00-Heaven at LAX airport on Saturday, passing through security with a growing gut.

Pierce, 53, was accompanied by wife Keely Shaye Smith and their two sons Dylan Brosnan, 10, and Paris Brosnan, 6.

Why is Keely lugging around all the luggage when she has three strapping men with her?

Mamma Mia: The Movie is set for a July 18, 2008 release. WOOT! Pierce will be playing romantic lead Sam Carmichael alongside co-stars Meryl Streep, Dominic Cooper (Dakin in The History Boys) and Amanda Seyfried (Lily Kane on Veronica Mars).

Said Pierce about his upcoming role in the musical-to-movie remake: “I saw the show with my family in London, and found it just so wonderfully happy and joyful, and so pitched in time forever in the 1970s. What a kick in the pants, to be able to go off and spend time with Meryl on some Greek island, singing ABBA songs.”

10+ pictures of inside of Pierce and family…

Nick and Drew Are Good Sports for MS

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:20:40 GMT

Left over weekend news and a reason to laugh after the sad real life event that is taking place today. Reality television's finest came out to Dance to Erase MS this weekend at the Century Plaza. The stars walked the runway to raise awareness and cash for multiple-sclerosis treatment and research. Nick and Drew literally rocked the runway in Tommy Hilfiger (that explains the hideous pants Drew is wearing), while Nicole and Nicky took a more traditional approach. Tara brought some of her newfound classy fun to the event as well, which was expected to raise more than $2.5 millions. Kudos to those who came out to support the cause!

For more pics including Tara Reid, Nicky Hilton, Nicole Richie, Joey Fatone, Drew Lachey, Nick Lachey and more just

Images also include Jennifer Tilly, Tom Arnold, Nick Lachey, Andrea Bowen, Michelle Rodriguez, Cheryl Burke, Louis Van Amstel, Lisa Rinna, Tia Carrere, Giuliana DePandi, Bill Rancic, Keisha Whitaker and Tommy Hilfiger

Madonna Visits Malawi

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:19:57 GMT

Madonna took Lourdes and her adopted son David Banda to Malawi this weekend, but she's not looking to adopt again just yet. She was in Africa to continue her charity projects, which include working to help development and growth in impoverished villages. Here's more:

The singer, dressed in combat trousers, khaki T-shirt and black boots, was greeted by singing women and children as she inspected the maize crop and storage facilities and stood by the fish pond.

Madonna's New York-based publicist Liz Rosenberg said the singer was visiting to continue her work with her Raising Malawi organization and denied speculation of another adoption.

"She is overseeing the building of a children's health care center. She is absolutely not adopting another baby," Rosenberg said in a statement.

Since all the paperwork regarding David Banda's adoption hasn't even cleared yet, we're not surprised to hear that she's not looking to adopt again just yet. However, it's wonderful that Madonna continues to use her fame for doing good in more ways than one. It's also great she took along Lourdes to help do good. How grown up does Lourdes look these days? I can't believe she's only 10.

Orlando Gets Personal in Details

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:19:30 GMT

Orlando shows a darker side of himself in the pages of Details magazine this month. In the article Orlando talks about what it was like to find out that a family friend was his biological father, not the man who had raised him. He also talks more about the fall he took at 21 out of a three story window. Wow. Who knew? Here are highlights:

* On learning about his real father:
“Think about that. Think about finding out when you’re 13 that your dad is not your dad. It’s like, okay, take it on the chin and keep going. No choice, really.”
* On his filming two trilogies back-to-back:
“I’ve been white-knuckling it for so long. Between the first Lord of the Rings and this [Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End], I’ve been going nonstop. I would come off one movie and straightaway start the next picture. I wasn’t even really thinking about it, I was letting the machinery sort of run me. So now, on a personal level, I just want some time and space from everything, from all that; from the environment and the phone and the communication.”
* On turning 30 in January and for the first time in a decade having nothing to do:
“Look, it all felt important, too important, but now I’m in a position to—look, I’m trying not to take myself so seriously, and in not taking myself so seriously, I think I’ll be more serious.”
* On his fall:
“For four days I was thinking this was it, that I would be living my life in a wheelchair, and then I thought, no, and I knew I would walk. I just knew.” Twelve days later, he walked on his own, astonishing his physicians and therapists. He still has a scar, a long, uneven groove down his back.

It's pretty amazing Orlando was able to beat the odds like that. He's obviously just as much of a fighter as the men he plays on the big screen.

McDreamy's Race Car Trumps Addison's Porsche

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:18:34 GMT

Patrick Dempsey took a break from riding his bike to devote some time to his other hobby, racing cars. The other day we caught a glimpse of Patrick's co-star Kate Walsh in a speedster of her own, and it turns out that was just the first of many sneak peeks at the Grey's Anatomy Spinoff. Not very much info on what the future holds for Dr. McDreamy, but we're satisfied as long as he isn't driving off into the sunset with Addison

Penelope's Big Perks Raise Eyebrows

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:17:48 GMT

Penelope is loving her wide legged jeans! Seems like a good comfortable bet when you're catching an early flight out of LAX. We don't blame her for getting out of town. I would want to skip town too after the the LA Times wrote an article detailing the perks (and salaries) she and Matthew received on their flop of a film, Sahara. The article breaks down how Hollywood budgets have gotten out of hand using Sahara as a great example. Penelope evidently only (I say "only" in relative terms: the film cost over $281 million to make) got paid $1.6 mil but had over $800,000 in perks like a personal hairstylist and security team.

Beautiful Biel

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:17:09 GMT

This weekend Jessica Biel and some friends took her pup to Pier 59 Studios West in Bergamot Station. She looked cute in her simple sexy white dress but what's even hotter is the beautiful picture of Jessica and her dog. I love how her pooch is staring at us while Biel looks off in the distance. It may be a candid photograph from a lucky paparazzo but I think stunning enough for a magazine spread. I wonder if she is thinking of JT as she spaces out

'Hannah' star has reason to smile

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:16:26 GMT

"Achy Breaky Heart" pushed Billy Ray Cyrus to the top of the country charts. Now, it's daughter Miley who's rocketing his career on television.

"I was hired to play Hannah Montana," Miley says, "and then they were going to have him guest star. But then he ended up doing the dad part and it worked out better."

The two, in fact, see so much of each other "I was just glad I got to go on tour so I got a good little break," Miley says with a laugh. "No, I love being with him and my mom. It's a good thing they're cool." And supportive.

When Miley, now 14, told her parents she wanted to go into show business, dad made sure to point out its pitfalls. She auditioned for plenty of roles "and when I didn't get them, I cried...but it has worked out. It all made me so much stronger."

"Hannah Montana," a Disney Channel show about a pop star who hides her identity while in school, seems tailor-made for the fast-talking charismatic Miley.

It wasn't.

"I had to audition like everyone else -- and the girl's name wasn't even Miley, it was Chloe." When she got the part, producers changed the girl's name and incorporated elements of Miley's life. "The show really represents me and my life."

Then dad arrived and completed the picture.

While Miley guest-starred on Billy Ray's series "Doc," she didn't try to tell him what to do. "Now I do it all the time. He doesn't like to admit it but I'm the boss...sometimes. I'll be like, 'OK, dad, we've got to do this and this and this in this scene.' And then, at home, he'll say, 'You gotta do this.' We have this line between father and daughter and work buddies that we have to watch."

Spending time with dad all day? "It's cool," Miley says. "He's like my best friend. I love being with him."

Music, she says, is a natural bond. "I've always loved to sing, so it's great I get to do it on the show."

A Hannah album and tour tested the waters; now a Miley Cyrus CD is on the way.

Do fans keep the two identities separate?

"Totally," Miley says with typical teen energy. "I'll be out somewhere and they won't call me 'Hannah.' They're very good about calling me 'Miley' and asking about the show. They're really amazing."

And they're eager to learn more about teen star. While she's totally smitten with life in Los Angeles, Miley insists she's still "that girl from Franklin, Tenn., who came out here to live her dream.

"I grew up going to church every Sunday and I wanted to make sure I could come out here and shine for God."

In addition to the Disney show, Miley has appeared in the Tim Burton film "Big Fish" and "Love Boat: The Next Wave."

On tour with the Cheetah Girls in 2006, she got a chance to experience some of the chaos that surrounded dad more than a decade ago.

"I was just born when 'Achy Breaky' came out, but I remember moving around with dad on the bus. I love to travel, so that was great."

Now, she's looking beyond "Hannah" and onto a career in film. "I know when the show comes to an end, it's going to be hard because I'm so close to everyone. But I don't see that happening too soon. I'm livin' the 'Hannah Montana' rock star life...and it's awesome."

"Hannah Montana" airs on the Disney Channel and ABC Saturday mornings.