Presumably, the widower lost his spouse when the two of them were happy, and the divorced man experienced the termination of his marriage because he and his wife were not.
DivorcedMoms is the leading resource and community for divorced moms to connect, communicate, express their passion and thoughts, share experiences and find expert information and advice. While widowhood and divorce both involve grieving, we may be comparing apples to oranges when we begin to look more closely. For example, someone initiates divorce because one or both parties no longer wish to be married. Moreover, termination of a marriage by divorce is frequently accompanied by argument, acrimony, and alienation of friends or family. Naturally, when legal proceedings are raging, some of us may ask ourselves which is worse for the one left behind – death or divorce.
The widower may feel guilty about dating, or he may feel guilty about his feelings for another woman. Just because a man is widowed, that doesn't mean he was a "perfect" husband or had a perfect marriage. A widowed dad may share a similar experience relative to marriage and parenting, but he likely has no concept of how it feels to be treated as if he has "failed" his family, "ruined" his children's lives, and somehow could have prevented it.
In an intriguing example of society's views of widowhood versus divorce, I knew a woman who was involved in a long, drawn-out proceeding as she was terminating her marriage. The bottom line: There are bumps in any dating situation, and potentially, long-term wounds that require years to heal. So whether you’re dating a man who was widowed or divorced, look for signs of a healthy individual who is able to listen effectively, articulate clearly, and express his or her feelings.


But this is the norm for widowers –for one of two reasons: either the marriage itself wasn’t that healthy and he was immediately ready to move on, OR, like men of a certain age, he put everything had into his marriage and nothing into any other relationships. A man’s inability to survive without a woman is a big explanation why a widower is often a very hot ticket on the open market – he’s LOOKING to be married again.
As for the widowers, it is amazing how quickly they forget that they were oh so grateful for the team of sibs, inlaws, kids etc.
My aunt married a widower and he was madly, crazy, head over heels  in love with her until the day he died and left her to be a widow. BOy am I glad to read thsi!!!!   i just met a widower who is seeking to date six weeks after he buries his wife.   Hey says he hates mourning. Find out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women. If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!
For example, if a spouse was killed in an accident, survivor guilt may be an issue for the widower or for the kids. We may romanticize the relationship he had with his wife - so many TV shows and movies encourage it - but we need to remember that narcissists are trouble and they can be widowed, too. Factor in the dearth of older men – there are literally 3 times more single women over the age of 65 – and, well, a decent looking widower doesn’t stay available for very long.
As someone who specializes in dating divorced men, widowed men aren’t all that different than divorced guys except they have no ex to deal with and their kids are usually grown.
I have had 2 fairly recent experiences with widowers who were both in the more common group.


Which means that even if many widowers throw themselves into new relationships because of their tremendous loneliness, THIS one seems to be functioning more like your basic super-successful middle-aged man. IME, if a widowed person is ready to move on, they make a point of not making excuses to you.
This certainly isn't the case with the death of a spouse.Moreover, termination of a marriage by divorce is frequently accompanied by argument, acrimony, and alienation of friends or family. Again, death is a whole other ballgame.AdvertisementIn addition, one or both spouses in divorcing couples may face dramatic financial losses.
These may be inevitable comparisons, but the bottom line is this: All losses are not created equal, and that holds true for both divorce and widowhood. AdvertisementNever AssumeIt would be easy to assume that all widows and widowers had happy marriages.
It would be easy to assume that the widowed dad has a more challenging path than the divorced dad, dealing with his grief, the kids' grief, and handling it on his own.
AdvertisementTwo words of advice: Never assume!Just because someone is widowed, that doesn't mean they had a good marriage.



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