Last year I went on a few dates with someone I met online, though I am leery of online dating. I would love to feel I could keep my mental illness under wraps until I was comfortable with someone, as if it were a hobby like collecting international Barbie dolls. It feels dishonest not to mention certain things to someone you’re trying to seduce, in the way I would feel dishonest not mentioning that I had a child or was missing a nose.
I'm sure that self-help books are very helpful for some people, but I never make it much past the table of contents. All I can do is hope for the best, gingerly feel my way along, constantly remind myself to slow down and breathe, and not hurl myself headlong at the first half-decent man I meet.


I've seen how my illness affects my loved ones, and as much as I long for marriage and children, I often think everyone might be better off if I moved to a secluded fjord in Iceland and just sent postcards. But the mentally ill side of me, like the springy snakes you stuff inside a joke can of nuts, is going to burst forth with a vengeance at some point, and she is no joke. I have seen dating websites for the mentally ill, and although I'm sure there is blessed relief in a partner who knows what you're going through from the get-go, I don’t think matching us up is a good idea. Discuss how much you believe mental health is just as important as physical and emotional health. When we couple that with the topic being taboo and not openly discussed in our communities, it makes for a chain reaction of more dysfunction and misunderstandings.


We are advocates of healthy relationships and want you to be clear and more informed about the person whom you choose to share your life with.



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