When it comes to communicating attraction and romantic interest, people generally think that you are either good at flirting or bad at it.
Depending on whether you want a short or long-term relationship, whether you prefer a slow or fast-paced courtship, one flirting style may be better for you than another. This leads to one of the other big messages in my book, The Five Flirting Styles: the way a person flirts can tell you a lot about what they are going to be like in a relationship. Armed with a little self-reflection and tailored advice on how to be a more effective flirt, you can learn how to attract the type of relationship you really want.
Whether or not you think of yourself as a “good” or a “bad” flirt actually depends on what you want to get out of flirting. Sure, we can give you dating tips, but sometimes it's good to get it straight from the source.
The stereotypical “good flirt” is a man who easily picks up women, usually at a bar or club, or maybe a woman who can score free drinks from guys all night long.
Everyone is a mix of five flirting styles: Playful, Physical, Polite, Sincere, and Traditional.


Playful flirts like to play games, tease, and give someone a hard time when they meet new people.
Learning about your particular flirting style will enable you to convey your attraction and intentions more effectively. Hall is an internationally recognized expert on flirting and dating and an Associate Professor of Communication Studies at the University of Kansas. When women ask me whether they should go out with guys who are great flirts, I often respond with, “If he seems like he is really good at flirting, then he probably has a lot of practice doing it.” This bit of advice applies to good female flirts as well. One of the most surprising conclusions that came out of my research is that how you flirt doesn’t just affect how many digits or free drinks you get at the end of the night, but it influences the kind of person you attract, how successful your relationships are, and how long your relationships typically last. They believe flirting with other people is really enjoyable and that people flirt with them everywhere they go. And learning about all five styles will help you spot the kind of flirt you really want to be with, and spot a player from a mile away.
So they aren’t reserved or careful about who they flirt with and how strong they are coming on to someone.


Relationship and romance are all dictated by one major rule: the playful flirt does what they do because it makes them feel good, whether in the very first stages of romance or in a more long-term relationship. Interestingly, a playful flirt feels successful and confident when flirting, but when he or she flirts it has nothing to do with exploring the possibility of a relationship. The playful flirting style is the only style where men score higher than women – meaning more men are playful flirts than women—but there are still plenty of female playful flirts out there, too. Disrespect and infidelity in a marriage are two huge signs she’s fucking other dudes.



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