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Do not anger easily, constant ringing in your head - Review

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It’s a hard thing to do—to completely let go of something painful and forgive the person who may or may not have realized what they did. I decided to consult the Tiny Buddha Facebook community to learn how they’ve moved on from anger and resentment. As many others have said, forgiving others is something we need to do for our own health, not the other person’s. It also means that we no longer need resentment and anger as an excuse for our shortcomings.
Holding onto anger is like grasping onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. I have been struggling with forgiveness for many years and I am finally at a point where the anger from it is destroying my being. After about a month of not really speaking to her even if we were in the same room I just keep my mouth shut and focused my attention on anything but her, we finally discussed what happened. It sounds to me that you’d prefer not to have her in your life anymore but you think you need to stay angry and hurt to create that protection for yourself. How do i alter relationships and set bounderies without hurting someone who had nothing to do with any of this, Im not big on hurting the innocent. It’s OK to forgive from a safe distance and not have anything to do with that person in some situations. At my angriest point, I was convinced the person who hurt me did it with full intention and cruelty. This doesn’t condone their thoughtless, insensitive, or selfish decisions, but it makes them easier to understand. I remind myself that I forgive not for them but for me and that it’s easier to forgive than to hang on to so much anger, hurt and betrayal.
Because it takes less energy to love and forgive than it does to stay angry and hold a grudge.
I know that I need to forgive someone, not for their benefit, but for my own peace of mind. Forgiveness comes easy when you know that what people say or do is about them, it’s not about you.

Write a brutally honest, emotionally raw letter telling them how much they have hurt and angered you, then tear it up and burn it.
For some wrongs, I just have to remember that they are responsible for their actions and then it is easier for me to just let it be. It is understanding that the anger and hatred that we feel toward them hurts us far more than it hurts them.
I have found that sometimes the easiest way to forgive someone is to create situation where they can no longer hurt you.
I understand about not letting her back into my life, but still forgiving and making the conscious choice to change relationships.
Its not really about not wanting her in my life either, but more about just not wanting to open up to her emotionally again which was a big factor in our friendship.
Well, I’m not sure what works best for you but I will share what works for me AND I suggest you find something that works, because the domination of these thoughts is an experience you no longer have to endure.
It is literally impossible to experience negative emotion toward the behavior of another person if you are not aware of the own behavior that you have committed. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have, and for us to judge someone and get angry taking it personally, is the height of self-centeredness. So perhaps the kindest thing I can do both for them and me is not retell the story, but instead create a new one: a story about letting go.
As you watch the smoke rise, think about the fact that you are not that hurt and that anger.
It is seeing how we hide ourselves in our anger and how those feelings prevent us from healing. You are right when you say forgiveness is not easy but it’s wonderful you have found it. When I trusted myself, the anger was gone, and I could trust myself to interact with them without collapsing or lashing out.
Forgiving her does not have to mean letting her back into your life–it just means you release your resentment and then take better care of yourself going forward. You can just as easily make a choice and set a boundary from a place of strength and peace.

And it allows us to see how much energy we have wasted and how much we have damaged ourselves by not forgiving. Letting THAT obsession go as well as the socially unacceptable one of anger, maybe that’s a way of remembering the fact of impermanence (in THIS second, every second), which automatically provides lightness, presence, and inherent rather than manufactured forgiveness.
What’s helped me is to remember that while it might not always seem like it in the moment, things always get better and easier with time. Then before i know it i was being told by her in an angry voice I should stop complaining and just kill myself, which she was aware that i had already tried twice when i was younger.
We’ve started hanging out again since that incident, and she thought everything was fine and all is forgiven but Ive noticed when im around her now my guard is almost always up and i still refuse to open up to her emotionally like i used to at all. It was a lot easier for me to forgive people who hurt my terribly after I made the conscious choice to change those relationships. It is incredibly unusual for an event to be completely 100% not my fault, although there are of course exceptions. I know you all say forgiveness is better than not, but what if i forgive her and it happens all over again. You ask me, my existence in her life is completely irrelevant, even though she says thats not true. Nothing grows from a place of constriction; attention to your own thoughts spurred by anger is a slow death of happiness.
The lethal part of this, instead of getting up and realizing that, although perhaps unfortunate, it was not intended, we take the view that things were indeed malicious and planned, and take this corroding energy home with us, to linger and pollute our consciousness as we spend time with family, make dinner, and go to bed. And often, the anger is still there when we awake, and the re-feeling of it has only served to intensify things, and we have constructed our own self-imposed prison.

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Comments to “Do not anger easily”

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  2. SATANIST_666:
    About their work than others what I had to do next.