We all know individuals who feel insecure about their relatives, friends, neighbours, colleagues and even acquaintances. Ideally, your spouse understands and accepts your weaknesses, but as we have all likely realized, we don’t live in such an ideal world.
While I have learned that for some public compliments boost self-esteem, I’m not sold on this concept. We often become involved in the cultural zeitgeist that is built on the low self-esteem of others. Having healthy self-esteem arms you with the confidence required to defend your position without appearing defensive, to protect yourself without anger, and relate to others without feeling hurt or slighted. This entry was posted in Emotional Fulfillment, Featured Articles, Relationship Safety & Security and tagged emotional needs, insecurity, self-esteem. My problem is that, what ever mistake i do (eg forgetting to clean the kitchen counter) he always says that its because I now have money and i am disrespecting him.
I honestly love him and would like to make things work since we have a 2 year old brilliant baby together and i want us to be a happy family. Rose, I’m sorry this is happening, and you are wise to understand the threat to your marriage. We can’t have a long conversation here, but I hope you will come to our website, where there are people you can talk to for support and advice.
I suffer from severe deppression and insecurity everyttime my wife leaves the house i cant help but to concentrate on how she is cheating on me and with who. I guess my point is, in everything I read on this subject, I feel like it is suggesting that I am supposed to just accept that my husband is going to be attracted to other women and that when I am jealous I am being controlling, trying to dominate his thoughts and feelings, which I really don’t want to do, but I seriously cannot fathom the thought of being okay with it. I just registered here, and was wondering if you could give some pointers on where to start with this.
Having said that, it seems that my high self esteem & confidence make my husband unhappy at times.
We’re a friendly bunch and there are more members who have much more knowledge and experience than I do. A woman with healthy self-esteem understands that the love that binds her relationship is stronger than her spouse’s sexual desires toward other women. While I understand what this article is trying to accomplish, what it doesn’t state is that their is a level of ogling others that is completely disrespectful to women and the spouse. I want to assure you that am one of the many people you have helped out and am very,very grateful.


In today’s slightly ironic mental health news, scientists at the University of New Brunswick just discovered that self-help mantras can lower self-esteem instead of elevating it. In fact, given the opportunity, those of us with the most dysfunctional relationships could likely give a lecture about meeting emotional needs and their importance in a relationship. They can be leftovers from past relationships that haven’t been resolved, or even family of origin issues that have been swept under the rug and assert themselves when certain triggers crop up. For instance, while it is generally understood that men are visual creatures and enjoy the beauty of other women, it’s widely known that most wives dislike their husbands admiring other women.
The eventual diminished family time can result in overcompensating and overindulging children, which leads to even greater family issues. Self-confidence rids you of the burden of jealousy, which can literally drive your partner away.
He is 11 years older than me, I met him when I was doing my final year at university and we were best friends. I dont have a problem with him making less money but when he blames every silly mistake I make on the fact that he makes less money it becomes annoying and I dont know how to deal with it. It doesn’t sound like you’ve recovered from the trauma, and of course your self esteem has taken a hit! You should share all your problems and feelings with your partner as well listen to your partner and understand. Use of the web site constitues acceptance of the Defy Media Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Frustration, confusion and resentment are all by-products of low self-esteem and can be detrimental to your marriage. Building a strong self image and practicing the methods of good self-esteem may help to eliminate these weaknesses in marriage and avoid some of the catastrophic issues that may arise like cheating, emotional affairs and divorce.
While it is no different than admiring the Mona Lisa or a beautiful work by Monet, the thought of your spouse admiring a living, breathing human being seems to set your retinas on fire and unleashes a raging she-beast, full of anger. Asking your spouse about your great attributes along with the not-so-great ones is a good way to evaluate your own self-esteem. Faced with this, a man may want to remind himself that a hug, a compliment and a kiss go a long way in reminding your spouse that she is your chosen one.
It’s important to remember that loving your children and being a good role model is commendable.
I now have a job and already earn more money than him and I think that is where the problem started.


I hope you will join us on the forums, where others (some who have been through what you have) can support you and share how they got past the things that ripped their self esteem (and their marriages) apart.
It has opened my eyes to what I need to work on, seek help for, and possibly save my marriage!
Unfortunately, for the amount of work that is done meeting needs, we still hear countless stories of affairs and couples plainly misunderstanding each other. More often than not, people tend to question how they are perceived by their partner (and others) and that insecurity causes great stress in their marriage.
This feeling of insecurity may be a primal urge to secure property and protect it from being stolen.
Realize that your spouse is your best friend, and best friends should be able to share their thoughts with immunity. Providing them with a loving home, shelter and food is far more important than keeping up with other parents and overstimulating them with many activities. Many never evolve beyond this mentality and spend their marriage wondering if they measure up.
If either of you immediately feel defensive, it may be time to re-evaluate your self-esteem and examine the issue more closely. So we are standing on the dance floor and he looks across at her and is smiling he is looking at her and talking about breaking out into a dance and it did trigger an insecure feeling as I felt he should have been looking at me and saying that. This internal questioning of ourselves often causes issues in the relationship that may not have existed if we had simply sat back and realized that we are good enough.
Yes, it’s true you should never let your spouses ogling degrade your self-esteem, but do not let anyone tell you this behavior is normal. I realize not one size fits all when it comes to articles, but I wanted to put it out there that, because a woman finds ogling disrespectful does NOT make her a woman with low self-esteem. The ability to tell someone their behavior is completely disrespectful is a sign of healthy self-esteem. It seems to bother him when I like how I look or enjoy things that don’t include him.



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