29.08.2015

Chinese doctors tackle ebola on frontline

Joseph Kabila, President of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, addresses the general debate of the sixty-ninth session of the General Assembly. 25 September 2014 – President Joseph Kabila of the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) warned the United Nations today that global development was threatened by terrorism and the resurgence of the Ebola epidemic, pledging his country’s contribution to international efforts to combat the scourges. We all know the story of the man who had his penis amputated after a Viagra overdose, but what if your eternal boner is caused entirely naturally?
Jason Garnett from Harrogate in North Yorkshire woke up as he usually did with a morning glory boner at 9am last Friday, after having sex with a friend the night before. Jason was taken to hospital when it turns out he was suffering from priapism (which we’ve seen before), a rare condition not caused by anything sexual.


In the end, doctors drained 1.1 litres (2 pints) of blood from Jason’s penis and injected it 24 times (!) with medication to try to restrict blood flow.
Seeing them stab my penis with a needle was a horrible experience – like something out of a horror film. Your browser does not support inline frames or is currently configured not to display inline frames. An hour later he grew concerned when his boner was still in full effect and then at around 12 (presumably after many wanks – to no avail) he had an ice bath but still his boner refused to budge.
He then told his mate, who “was in hysterics at first, but then realised how serious the situation was”.


It’s a good thing he went to the doctors too because it can damage your penis for good if left untreated. It is completely normal now, apart from the fact that it looks like it’s been through a war.



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