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We now have a new buzzword to describe the decline of romantic relationships: The three-year glitch. Is this something that is commonly experienced or is it just the average time frame for relationships that fall apart?
Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. When I talk about this, I try to stress that while couples tend to experience a boost in well-being and then declines (and this is what we see when we look at averages), there’s quite a bit of variation. Some couples deepen and improve their relationships over time, while some skip right over the honeymoon, struggling from the start in their marriages. Part of the study specifically looked at people who were single at the time of the first interview and then researchers compared their self-reported health and happiness at the time of the second interview.

Most people enter into marriage as a source of self-fulfillment, and they want in their spouse a soul mate and life partner. What do you know, those who paired off were happier on average than those who were still single — but the happiness boost was greater for those within the first three years of a new relationship.
After the honeymoon wears off, I suspect many men and women realize that living with someone on a day-to-day basis is challenging — it means accepting the dirty socks and in-laws and making lots of compromises. The study also looked at unmarried cohabitating couples at the time of the first interview and compared their reported health and happiness six years later. We find that intimate relationships, whether marriage or cohabitation, tend to improve well-being, although not always for long, and not for everyone. We conclude that marriage is certainly relevant for individual well-being, but that it is not a blanket prescription for happiness.

We looked at whether this could be better understood as a slow and steady decline, but found that it was better captured by distinguishing between the more recent and longer-term relationships. So it does appear that for many couples there is something that happens early on in a relationship. It’s important to keep in mind, though, that men and women also derive benefits from marriage and cohabitation. It’s just that these benefits (at least the ones we measured) appear to dissipate over time.

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