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So I rarely do this kinda thing on Crushable, but if you have any extra pity to spare today, please send it to Candace Cameron. According to my dear friends at HaveuHeard, she went on The View today to talk about her book and to clear up a few misconceptions about her marriage. When asked if she ever wins an argument, Cameron said, ‘It’s not winning or losing.’ She will provide her input and her husband makes the decision. We’d probably all feel sooooo much better if we just gave up all control and power to the menfolk. Say what you will, but I think it was mighty nice of her husband to let her write a book (and NOT a cookbook, even!) in the first place. She remains an icon and more than only a pretty face. Monroe herself never earned a great deal of money. Girl’s all kinds of confused about what makes a good marriage and she can really use any extra pity you can send her way. Apparently people had gotten the wrong idea about her relationship with her husband, Val Bure.

Buuuutttttt… are we talking just about where to go to dinner (which, still, I get to choose 50% of the time, pal, but there are no major lasting repercussions) or big, important things? If she says everyone should live that way, she’s a hypocritical cunt and deserves all the snarky comments she gets. It’s about trying to work together as a team for what is best not for one spouse or the other, but for the family as a whole. I know what my husband wanted when we signed that marriage contract wasn’t really a partner, but something more like a hamster. I don’t want anything to do with it but I will not try to stop a consenting adult from having the relationship of their choice with another consenting adult.
But in my marriage, my husband is head of household and I do look to him as leader of our family. Which, I’ll admit, is lovely this time of year, but a horrid place to be lost in forever. After remembering that basic fact, I reread what she had to say and it made so much more sense.

If it went the other way and my husband just rolled over on something important that he saw differently than me and knew the consequences were bad and just let it happen, I’d be furious.
He very much values my input and he wants me to speak up if I have concerns about whatever. Sometimes I will see some potential obstacle or pitfall that hadn’t occurred to him, and the last thing he wants me to do is follow him like a lemming over a cliff.
It’s all about finding a way to express those concerns without creating a power struggle dynamic. Currently hired by Tomatoheart as a low maintenance caretaker-cum-curator but has been reported actually doing full-time bakar here.

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