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Hillel welcomes students of all backgrounds and fosters an enduring commitment to Jewish life, learning and Israel. If you logged in using a service such as Facebook or Google, you may still be logged in there. The Jewish New Year, and the first of the Jewish high holidays, is a time of favor and forgiveness, of growth and improvement, and of new beginnings – not only for us, but for family, friends and community. But when a man or a woman is married and still flirts with members of the opposite sex, what does that imply? For instance, if a man were to flirt with your wife and she were to flirt back, you might see her not just as the mother of your kids, but as a still very attractive woman who has what it takes to attract another man. But there are many who also consider it unfair to the other partner and that flirting for married couples should be strictly off limits. When the other partner has no clue of the flirting activities that his spouse indulges in, then it could be wrong. When flirting ceases to be casual and harmless and oversteps the boundaries of acceptable behavior, then it is wrong.
Often, flirting is spontaneous, it just happens as a normal response to somebody you find appealing. The seemingly harmless trend started by the Internet, which offers married couples the opportunity to flirt, is a prime example of a situation that can get out of hand. The partners however, felt betrayed by the virtual infidelity, even without any physical contact actually taking place.

While some married couples are successfully able to flirt and overlook it, others aren’t. And remember, if your partner has trusted you enough to turn a blind eye or even an approving one on your flirting, don’t abuse that trust. As the largest Jewish student organization in the world, Hillel builds connections with emerging adults and inspires them to direct their own Jewish journey. On this day, we can celebrate and appreciate another year of life together with those we care about. A man flirts with a woman to make her sit up and take notice, attract her, ask her out on a date. A way to reinforce to themselves that they still have what it takes to play word games with a member of the opposite sex, or even to see if they are still capable of attracting someone. Again, if the flirting is purely in fun, even without the knowledge of the spouse, as long as it doesn't go further, it might be considered acceptable.
Very often, flirting starts acquiring sexual undertones and once that happens, it becomes very difficult to stop at verbal sparring and not take it one step further. But when you go out of your way to flirt with someone, you have to examine your motivations. Research conducted by the University of Florida throws light on how married people entered chat rooms on seemingly innocuous reasons like having a friendly chat. Very often, they said it was prompted by boredom, a desire for variety and fun or their partner’s lack of interest in sex either because of child rearing or other preoccupations, says the study.

Often though, interest is awakened about the other person and flirting online leads to meetings and thereafter it's all downhill to the divorce court. If they give you the go-ahead, or they are secure in your devotion to them and see your flirting as nothing more than a lighthearted and friendly way to have fun, good for you. If you are still tempted to flirt, you need to examine your relationship and figure out if you still want to be in it and do what it takes to make the other person happy.
Some consider it harmless; after all can’t a man find a woman beautiful and tell her so?
Be honest with yourself and figure out why you are consciously looking to flirt with a member of the opposite sex. We also blow the shofar (a ram’s horn) on Rosh Hashanah to symbolize prayer and repentance. A compliment or a witty conversation or naughty joke will stay that, and will not translate into an expectation of something more. And she may be so happy with the attention she never gets from you, that the next time you look, she may not still be around to appreciate. It is purely innocent and they know they will never cross the invisible boundary into forbidden territory.

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