There's not much separating this category from the aforementioned "Deli-Style" (alright mustard scholars, come out and correct me, I can take it) but the winner here was Kosciusko.
When we asked for mustard suggestions, the love for Oregon-based Beaver brand came pouring in.
More commonly known for dams and buck teeth, the beaver is apparently a successful mustard mascot too. Inglehoffer is made by the same Beaverton Foods company (replace rodent with mustached man mascot) and exactly the same recipe for some flavors: Sweet Hot, and Cream Horseradish.
We dolloped, squeezed, scooped, and dunked into jars and tubes of all types of the yellow condiment—sometimes it wasn't even close to yellow.

Just a smidge spicy with lots of good texture bits, it's not part of the dessert mustard family. The Beaver brand is easy to find all over the West Coast, and according to Beaver Mustard headquarters, parts of Chicago, Texas, Florida, and South Carolina—but beyond that, not so much.
So if for some reason you need to organicify every aspect of your life, down to the mustard, this won't compromise the iconic taste. The ingredients read: White Distilled Vinegar, #1 Grade Mustard Seed, Water, Salt and Spices.
Mustard is just the little something-something that sandwiches, hot dogs, burgers, salad dressings, and pretzels need.

Mister Mustard (look for the mustached chef image and "HOT" in all caps) might be tougher to find, but is also good.

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