As if we didn’t have enough spirited discussion yesterday here at Good Enough Mother it’s about to pop off again today! My work hubby Richard read this story in this week’s Time magazine and felt we had to address it here on the site.
The piece in question was an article in TIME on the so-called, “chore wars” and why it might be time to holster the briefcase and brooms.  The author points out that, per the U-S Bureau of Labor Statistics, men and women are actually doing comparable time though the tasks are different, particularly for those with very young children in the home. I think what happens is, at least when kids are very small and labor intensive, fatigue permeates every aspect of our lives. So the trick I have found, is to accept that while we may both be putting in the same hours, the work probably looks different. I think men are better at start-to-finish projects and women multi-task better, at least that’s how it is in my house.
Since then, she has changed her mind about that tub, and the tub surround, and the sink, the floor tiles, and the ceiling blower fan… and I have spent more time at Home Depot then their store manager.
Not only do women do more than men, women think about more stuff to do than a man can even imagine needs to be done. With the exception of penguins, the mammal with the small proverbial balls than any species of males, females are genetically wired, more than males to take care of the nest, to do stuff.
Women wake up with a list of chores to be divided equally between every able body in a household. Men are content with stuff being just as it is: paint chipping, gutters sagging, facet leaking, jiggling the handle on the toilet just to keep it from running. If a person is performing more than one or two tasks at the same time, whether they are paying their full attention to any one of those tasks or not, they are STILL performing multiple tasks at the same time. I was holding my son at a shoe store once (one task), when I came around a corner and saw my wife holding my baby daughter in her left arm, feeding her from a bottle in her left hand, talking on her cell phone that was pinched between her ear and shoulder, leaning against a shoe rack, balanced on one foot, and trying a shoe on the other foot(I’m not even sure how many tasks that is). I think you’d be hard pressed to convince any mother that there is no such thing as multi-tasking!
In light of this topic and the postings to this subject matter, when you start measuring contributions that your partner brings to the table, tension and resentment can potentially arise. A certain amount of discipline is required in order to avoid the distractions of the internet and daytime TV, but the freedom can be worth it. If you’re running a business from home you may be able to deduct certain tax expenses associated with using your home as an office and, if you have kids, you can fit your schedule around school or nursery hours or work with them in the room, depending on their ages. While there are work from home jobs available in fields such as sales, design, and project management, many of the freelance jobs available are to do with the written word – either copywriting or translation. Translation seems an obvious choice for a language graduate and there are indeed opportunities to be had in this area.
Most of the major job listing sites will have a ‘work at home’ section, and full-time work from home jobs may be available.
Testimonials and examples of past work certainly help but this puts you in a ‘Catch 22’ situation when first starting out, and it may be worth offering your services for free (or at least cut-price) or doing some work for a friend to build up your portfolio. After that it’s a case of legwork, following leads and approaching companies directly. One major pitfall of being a freelancer working from home is having to filter the genuine jobs from the scams. But while the threat of being scammed is one career hazard of being a freelance home worker, the benefits can balance out the downsides. Career Vanity is here to bring knowledge and amusement to your hectic and challenging life. I’m not sure if his reasons for secrecy have more to do with his own need for privacy or more to do with decorum. Either way, I think it’s counter productive to keep cancer under wraps at work because the disease and the treatments can hit you hard. My best advice to people with cancer is to practice your “elevator speech.” Work on a one or two minute description of your diagnosis and short-term prognosis.
A common response was, “I’m so sorry, but it sounds like it’s very treatable.” At the time of diagnosis I lived in a world where the Defcon 1 sirens were blaring in my head, so it was hard for me to be optimistic and cheery. As hard as it was to tell people and to give an optimistic response I discovered that doing so was beneficial to me in myriad ways.
My students still expected me to return their graded papers on time, but they were also the kindest people I have ever had the privilege to teach. I struggle to imagine what other people deal with at work, especially those whose cancers and treatments more debilitating than mine or whose co-workers and bosses are not supportive. If you'd like to read more of my musings, hit the button up top and join my Facebook Fan Page community.
If you'd like to know first-hand when I have a new post, type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. Generation Next is an exciting new initiative featuring a national seminar series and supporting resources aimed at protecting and enhancing the wellbeing of our children and teenagers.


You may or may not love your current job and you may or may not believe that you can find something in your current job to love, but you can.
A young employee complained to me recently that she wanted to change jobs because her boss was not doing enough to help her develop professionally.
People complain to me daily that they don't receive enough communication and information about what is happening with their company, their department's projects, or their coworkers. Have you made statements such as, "My boss never gives me any feedback, so I never know how I'm doing." Face it, you really know exactly how you're doing. One of the most serious causes of work stress and unhappiness is failing to keep commitments.
Choosing to be happy at work means avoiding negative conversations, gossip, and unhappy people as much as possible.
In their landmark book, First, Break All The Rules: What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently (Compare Prices), Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman list twelve important questions.
If all of these ideas aren't making you happy at work, it's time to reevaluate your employer, your job, or your entire career.
The good news is he loves to cook; who am I to deprive him of his great source of pleasure? All of a sudden you look up and there your husband is, pants off, beer in hand, trying to decompress from the day. When not spending time with her family or burning something for dinner, Rene travels the country as host of Sweet Retreats on The Live Well Network and Exhale on Aspire. My wife has no problem having 10 different irons in the fire and isn’t bothered at the end of the day when none of them are finished. There’s physical work (construction, garbage collection), mental (professor, exec), busy work (alphabetizing books or spices), fun work (prof.
I won’t split hairs and get into the whole “you aren’t REALLY multi-tasking; you’re your switching attention back and forth between multiple tasks” argument.
Was she completely focused on any of those tasks, probably not, but she performed them all simultaneously.
In today’s world, there are women who have powerhouse positions, run their own businesses, and then come home to care for their children and husband.
To avoid this from happening, couples should simply focus on appreciating each others individual’s strength and do what you do well to sustain a comfortable and relaxing household- cooking, balancing the checkbook, fixing things, cleaning, etc. You’ll spend less time stuck in the car or on the bus or train on an interminable commute. Whatever the reason, there are now more opportunities than ever to successfully work from home – especially if you’re skilled with languages or the written word. Companies constantly require their brochures, websites and other written or spoken content to be translated and many will use freelancers or agencies that use freelancers in their turn. Press releases, newsletters, advertorials and website content all require writing and multilingual skills will yield even more opportunities. Collaborate with as many clients as you can (without over-extending and finding yourself unable to honor commitments) and use social networking sites to advertise your services.
Online data entry jobs, for example, rarely pay well, while multi-level marketing involves recruiting more and more new people to sell a product in a pyramid scheme that is almost guaranteed not to make you rich.
When women collaborate and help each other, we can enrich the feminine circle and get to the top of the wealth and abundance mountain together.
A friend of mine thinks it’s inappropriate to tell people at work about cancer because the information is private and work is public.
I have respect the need for privacy, but workers have rights and should never have to hide their diagnosis. I missed the second week of the semester because I was in the hospital, and I was in a pretty bad place emotionally after diagnosis. I made a segue way directly from my diagnosis to course matters, directing them first to my plan for keeping them informed about cancellations or online meetings in lieu of face-to-face meetings should it be needed and then moving into the immediate concerns about the missed week. If you’re thinking about problem solving and practical matters, they will generally think through this with you. I’ve got friends in my support group who’ve been through chemo and describe it as a “cake walk” and have a full head of hair.
I’m not a particularly private person and I knew people would want to know how “serious” my cancer was, so my description included the Stage.
However, I knew to be grateful for this realistic and sensitive response, so I put on my game face. I've lived my life in the deserts and mountains of New Mexico, the tundra of Alaska, and, now, in Chicagoland.
Especially if you feel positively about your performance, you just want to hear him acknowledge you.
Many employees spend more time making excuses for failing to keep a commitment, and worrying about the consequences of not keeping a commitment, than they do performing the tasks promised.


When employees answered these questions positively, their responses were true indicators of whether people were happy and motivated at work. You can pick and choose your own hours although, to be successful, you still have to manage your time and put the hours in. You may get paid less working via an agency as the agency takes its cut, but it makes the process of finding work easier. Setting up your own translation or copywriting business involves a lot of hard work but can yield the greatest rewards. And, even if you’re determined to go it alone, taking extra agency or other temporary work can help tide you over during lean periods. Never part with money for any sort of start-up kit and never divulge financial information such as bank account details. For me, it was important to develop a context within which people could interpret my behavior. On top of this, a student in one of my classes worked in the ER and processed my admission to the hospital.
It’s so hard to wrap your mind around cancer and giving my elevator speech helped me come to terms with it.
If I could have lived a different life, I would have chosen to be taller and to play point guard for Pat Summitt's Lady Vols.
Take a look at yourself, your skills and interests, and find something that you can enjoy doing every day.
If you're not positive about your work, think about improving and making a sincere contribution. Create a system of organization and planning that enables you to assess your ability to complete a requested commitment. You've never been trained to participate in meaningful conflict, so you likely think of conflict as scary, harmful, and hurtful.
One of these key questions was, "Do you have a best friend at work?" Liking and enjoying your coworkers are hallmarks of a positive, happy work experience. All you know is that you’re standing there, holding the seventh poopy diaper of the day wearing a shirt decorated in projectile vomit (it’s not a great look).
Students clearly knew something was up, and I felt that ignoring the situation was creating unnecessary drama.
It was helpful for me to let people know that I was facing some unknowns and to “plan for the worst” while “expecting the best,” to quote the familiar.
Instead I've gotten to live my life as a writer and reader, a teacher and student, a cook and a bike rider with my husband, daughter, two cats and a dog.
Conflict can be all three; done well, conflict can also help you accomplish your work mission and your personal vision.
Of course, that’s just about the time your head wants to pop off and you wonder why you’re doing all the work. I find when I adopt that approach I’m less prone to become bitter about having to iron once a quarter. It’s hard to imagine a more challenging audience than colleagues and bosses and the consequences, real and imagined, can be daunting.
I think they were caught between concern for their teacher and concern for how badly their semester was going to be screwed up. One colleague just hugged me when I burst into tears in her office, something I didn’t do much, thank god.
Of course, you can always make your current job work or decide that it is time to quit your job.
Take charge of your own growth; ask for specific and meaningful help from your boss, but march to the music of your personally developed plan and goals. If your workload is exceeding your available time and energy, make a comprehensive plan to ask the boss for help and resources.
Otherwise, I’ll use every clean dish in the house, then all the paper plates and move on to paper towels. Unfortunately, sitting in front of a computer all day can be mistaken for fun and games (okay it is occasionally); tell that to my hunched up back and budding case of carpel tunnel syndrome.
But, again, there are women who also do the same and more, particulary single mothers with a single income.



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