May 8, 2015 by Sansa Leave a Comment Follow these tried and true methods to earn gold in The Elder Scrolls Online.
To earn gold in The Elder Scrolls Online it’s essential that you join a good trading guild. Provide a network of guildies where you can purchase items and materials for your own needs.
It goes without saying, but Quests are one of the main ways to earn gold in The Elder Scrolls Online.
The Elder Scrolls Online actually encourages exploration, and seeing as how Quests = Gold, you’re advised to take your time to thoroughly explore every Zone for adventures to complete. A penny saved is a penny earned, and one of the best ways to earn gold in The Elder Scrolls Online is not to waste it in the first place. Armor and weapons (not sold) can be used to replenish broken pieces, or deconstructed for valuable materials and crafting ingredients (not to mention the crafting experience you’ll earn).
So basically, it comes down to collecting absolutely everything you can, keeping what you need, and selling all the rest. You should choose the crafting profession that suits you best, and spend time and Skill points mastering it. With the release of the Justice System, stealing is now a really good way to earn gold in The Elder Scrolls Online. More in Featured Elder Scrolls OnlineComing To The ESO Crown Store In May: Wicked Cool Costumes, Mounts, And PetNew Ordinator costumes, mounts and a pet fox headline new items coming to the ESO Crown Store this month.
Behold these lovely screenshots and videos from Skywind, the ambitious fan-driven project to mod all of Morrowind in the world of Skyrim. Epic Games frontman Cliff Bleszinski conducted a crowdsourced interview with Reddit over the weekend in the popular "Ask Me Anything" subreddit. Every day this week, we’ve been visiting a version of Skyrim unlike any you’ve ever seen before – a world thrown into anarchy and chaos by Sheogorath, God of Madness, and the assistance of over 200 blindly-installed mods.
Every day this week, we’ll be visiting a version of Skyrim unlike any you’ve ever seen before – a world thrown into anarchy and chaos by Sheogorath, God of Madness, and the assistance of over 200 blindly-installed mods. Every day this week, we'll be visiting a version of Skyrim unlike any you've ever seen before - a world thrown into anarchy and chaos by Sheogorath, God of Madness, and the assistance of over 200 blindly-installed mods. Can you buy shares in private limited company, matlab function optional argument, learn forex course, Bear market stocks, date of the biggest stock market crash 1929, money brings happiness quotes, vega in options trading, stock market training, binary options 40 video tutorial, best ways for writers to.
This is the diary of me attempting to play Skyrim using only Illusion magic: I'm not allowed any weapons, armour, or magical items, and I can't attack anyone directly. March 23, 2015 by Shane Scarbrough 21 Comments Follow this method to level your thief skills fast in The Elder Scrolls Online.
A few weeks ago, I wrote an article outlining five essential tips to follow to become the best thief ever in The Elder Scrolls Online (in case you missed the post you can read it here).
There is a way to level your thief skills fast in The Elder Scrolls Online, but I should caution that the play style  isn’t for everyone. From what I can tell, the level of loot doesn’t correspond directly to how high your Legerdemain level is. Either laundering or selling a stolen item with a fence will gain you the same amount of XP.
When stealing, at a low level this is beneficial, but when you’re above level I think 30, you can make way more money, and steal way faster and fill your loot bucket much quicker.
At the same time, i am aware of the rotation of respawn for both Davons watch, and Riften of all the safebox locations in the town. Thanks for posting ?? Your ideas spot on and will absolutely help the intrepid thief level fast.
Good point, however, Shane’s tips are great for getting your live stock achievements at the very least. Here is my grinding routine for the Legerdemain skill line (this is for my Daggerfall toon since he’s the thief.
When standing outside of the entrance to the refuge and looking north you will see three NPCs (all three are easy marks) on the boardwalk (2 standing and 1 sitting with her back against a piling). Once the sitting NPC is attacking you, lead her away (behind the crates to the east of this location is best) then kill her.
If you could careless about these achievements, you can forego the killing, I think the NPC pockets will respond fresh loot doing this circuit anyways, but I haven’t tested that theory.
I had to leave a reply to my own reply (lol) because I failed to check the Notify check box. Oh and EDIT: I said there is an NPC to the east of the lone lady that is usually carrying a box, I meant west not east. Just like in real life, money makes the world go round, and a lot of new players want to know how to earn gold in The Elder Scrolls Online. There are a lot of guilds out there, so make sure to join an active one with a full membership roster and a vendor in a major city. Admittedly, quests won’t earn you money hand over fist, but since you’re completing them for experience and the story line anyway, the gold will add up steadily. For that matter, don’t ignore the plants you come across, ore deposits, wood stacks, Aspect runes, barrels, chests, etc. Be forewarned: it takes time and resources to become a master craftsman, but just like investing in an education in real life, your advanced skills will serve you well in earning gold in The Elder Scrolls Online economy. Besides exploring the world of Skyrim, she also enjoys graphic design, writing, and drawing.
The modders are posting about their plans and goals on the forums of Morroblivion, a site designed to re-create Morrowind in Oblivion. A number of noteworthy responses cropped up regarding Bleszinski's thoughts on revisiting older IPs, modding's explosive popularity, and (though very definitely not announcing this) an open-world reboot of Unreal, among other answers. If you want to ensure you get the big returns from stocks that investment writers highlight when urging you to invest in equities, you need to buy during bear markets to make up for the lousy returns from those. When the economy enters into a period of high inflation coupled with falling stock prices and rising unemployment rates.
Open world shooters such as Far Cry 3 dispense direction for player freedom, but skirting boredom or uber-tough enemies still presents a challenge. Once every generation there shall be a new Elder Scrolls game, and it shall be in an updated engine. Kill The Goats Players could always kill goats in The Elder Scrolls Online, but with the release of the Justice System, slaughtering goats is now a crime. Harvest The Goats Once you clandestinely kill the goats, you can harvest their bodies for Game, Guts, and Hide.
Added Bonus Not only can you level your thief skills fast, but you can profit monetarily from this grind as well. If so, please share your thoughts and experience in the Speak Your Mind section below. Until next time fellow travelers! For the record, I think it should — it would be a real incentive for players to level.
You’re absolutely correct, and the more stolen items you launder and sell, the more your Legerdemain Skill increases. If you launder though, you can keep the item for personal use, or sell on your own in Chat or a Guild Store for big bucks (if the item is rare).
Riften is another good location, especially with a very very close refuge to the end of the city circle.
There are some guards that patrol in this area so familiarize yourself with their patrol routes and be aware of where they are at all times. Again, do not concern yourself with your bounty, besides, you should be able to kill her behind the crates without being seen, but it really doesn’t matter. There is also a guard that patrols here (probably the same one, never paid enough attention). Also by this point the NPCs that you killed should have respawned with fresh loot in their pockets, so repeat the process until your inventory is full.
Well the reason I say not to worry about the kill or the bounty you gain is because there are achievements tied to them. You will still work up a bounty from the times you get caught pickpocketing, but waiting out a bounty is a simple thing. Far easier to keep a stack of stolen guts in my bags while leveling than several handfuls of other items. Believe me, there really are no secrets or shortcuts — just proven methods that will help line your pockets with the money you need in-game.
Simply walk or ride to the nearest Wayshrine to travel for free, and sell or deconstruct broken armor as it becomes unusable. It was more of a lesson: when you're going to ask somebody to pay X, do they feel like they're getting Y in exchange? What unseen wonders does Skyrim now hide for our brave heroes adventurers to discover?Catch up on the adventure: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3At least, that was the plan - and the number of new points of interest both on the Skyrim map, and hinted at in the Whiterun area suggested that it wasn't going to be too tricky to find cool new places to check out. Stock market app windows mobile, ways to make money from home yahoo, who should i buy stocks from, the way to earn money in soviet union, forex brokerage service, make gold skinning wow. All investors should be aware that the best time to buy stocks is when the market is tanking, according to history. Conjunction transfers, Best bear market stocks, Neteller, PerfectMoney, MoneyBookers and other side people are also printed. At the Eurogamer Expo, Far Cry 3 lead designer Jamie Keen said his team took "huge inspiration" from open world successes such as the Elder Scrolls series for keeping interest levels high."We've had to take a little bit of a different approach to most shooters," Keen said. You get this fine set of flightless leathery wings, you can throw balls of red magic at people to leech some of their life, and you can summon a pet gargoyle! And a band of heroes every generation shall take on a great quest: to convert Morrowind into that engine.
At the time of writing, the average Guild Store price for Game is 39 gold and Guts is 8 gold — it may not sound like a lot, but when sold in stacks you can make some decent money while leveling. I think rare loot drops are still determined by chance, and the more you steal the better your odds of striking it rich. Even then, the buzz on the ESO forums is that new stuff won’t be coming until September, with the exception of a DLC release or two. I take all 2h gear (staves, Greatswords, bows, ) and large equipment (curiass, jack, other chest and pant pieces) as these sell for the most. With her out of the way go back to the NPC that she caught you stealing from and empty his pockets.
Once your inventory is full go down to the refuge and sell all your stolen goods to the fence.
I have verified that your bounty does go down when you are logged out, so when your bounty gets too high and you don’t want to pay it, logout until the next day or go play another toon (if you have one) for a while.
During questing, you’ll always find good bits of gear to replace the broken stuff with. When she's not improving her Enchanting skill she's hard at work building her dream home in the Hearthfire expansion.
We're (fortunate) slaves to our success here at Epic with great franchises like Gears of War and Infinity Blade. One of them's just fallen off the castle battlements, leaving me alone with an angry swordsman, so I've thrown myself off too.I land on the rocky ledge, and find the archer there.
All for the low low price of I bite you in the neck and it gets kinda weird for a while but then I stop again.The alternative, in Dawnguard, is to join the Dawnguard, who hunt vampires with crossbows and tame trolls. This time round, the Skywind project shall heed the call, bringing Morrowind's combat, characters and environments to the latest version of Bethesda's Creation Engine.Modder, Eloth, has been posting some lovely early shots of the project in the Morroblivion forums.
I've finally lured the toughest of them to his death at the hands of a passing archer on the road to Solitude, but there are lots more left alive.Back at the fort, I have the same problem. If an NPC witnesses your poaching efforts, you’ll rack up a bounty, so be sure to go into stealth mode.
In a relatively short period of time, you can fill your bag space with stolen goods at a much faster pace than skulking around town looting barrels and picking pockets. He's currently on his third playthrough of Skyrim, and is playing as a Templar in The Elder Scrolls Online. I’m still hoping to find one of the rare motifs (Primal, Barbaric, Ancient Elf, Daedric, Imperial). The value of lvl 3, might be like 15 gold, but at level 30 the face value is 30+ (52 for me at lvl 42). Every 50 items = 5k if just common goods, Ive made out with 20k for a full 110, and 25k for the next tier. The best way is add all the skills points you get in legerdemain in light finger and trafficker.
Be careful though because there is a guard who patrols there and will sometimes be standing behind her a few yards looking in her direction. Run this a bit before you plan on logging off and you shouldn’t have a problem with it. It seems like a risky bet: Could we see a 2D platform game return and really move that many units, or would it just be a cult hit?"We make games as a labor of love, but we also try to weigh the choice of what we build based upon a solid understanding of the business. Shouldn't there be some demons, or some dungeons or something here, or at least some nerds whining about DRM? All I've actually done is separate my enemies from my only means of dealing with them: each other. Bearish Investor Sentiment PlummetsThe first chart has to do with the declining number of stock market bears. It's still a work in progress, but the mod already has already captured the giant mushrooms and weird architecture that makes Morrowind so strange and memorable. I barge into the keep, use my Fury spell to trick the guy with the battleaxe into killing all his friends, then hit a brick wall.
ESO even has an Achievement for it — Livestock Slaughterer, or something close (forgot to mention the Achievement in the article).
Than go outside of windhelm keep (next to kynestgrove wayshrine) there is some houses and boat next to it with npcs, steal them. When you pick his pocket, you will be successful, but the sitting NPC will see you and attack you. When he is out of sight there are three NPCs to the north of the top o the ramp you just came up. If at any point you get caught by a guard, choose flee then use any skill that will immobilize him for a few seconds.

Yes this is a hefty price and it might be an achievement that you might want to save for later in the game when gold is easier to get, but this grind can get you up to 10,000 bounty in just a few cycles, so even if your Legerdemain is maxed, you can still come back here and grind out that achievement very quickly. That's not an Elder Scrolls specific philosophy; I think that's a philosophy for us across everything, whether it's a game or DLC or an MMO or whatever.
The archer's stranded on an outcrop, unsure of how to get back, so I duck into sneak mode and hug the castle walls until I reach the entrance.I sneak all the way up to the main door undetected, wondering where sword guy has got to. The Elder Scrolls series is a huge inspiration for us along with games like Red Dead and other Rockstar games."Keen also revealed over 250 "encounter types" exist in Far Cry 3 as players explore. That's basically teleporting, and teleportation is not Illusion.The natural first stop is the stables just outside Solitude. Check out the videos and screenshots below for an early look.Eloth also helped out with the Morroblivion project, which ported Morrowind into the Oblivion engine.
He won't follow me out, and no-one will follow me in, so I'm left with one very angry man I can't kill.There's one more segment to the keep. Veteran level players can find a great little farm right outside Craglorn’s Dragonstar Wayshrine for example. I know they’re out there though, so I keep picking pockets and unlocking every safe box I find. Just hoping the money is there, and the B2B business model works out (I’d truly hate to see P2W).
If npc attack you and you are low lvl just flee far a little for they can’t reach you.
He does alert the other NPC to your presence though, but if you just wait there his awareness will go away and you can pickpocket him again. By the way, the Felonious Recompense achievement also unlocks the color Shadowfoot Gray at the dye station.
We have to make sure we're providing enough quality for what you're paying for, whatever you're paying for, so that the customer feels satisfied enough to declare, 'I got good value for my money.'"Check out GamesIndustry's report for the full interview. At the door, I realise sword guy is at the door, leaning against the wall in his usual spot, camouflaged with the stone in the grey moonlight. Crises in the developed world is the lead cause of the equity sell-off in the emerging markets, as shown here in the performance of the iShares MSCI Emerging.
While certain stocks are more correction-resistant than others, one of the best ways to hedge against and even profit from a prolonged bear market is an exchange-traded fund or two, as ETFs offer a number of protective or bearish strategies. Encounters won't constantly recycle either, as Keen said the game tracks your experiences and attempts to throw some new island madness your way whenever possible."We don't want you to feel like, 'Oh, it's this encounter again.
But after a lot of awkwardly jostling amongst their horses, I can't seem to find a safe spot to steal one. Skywind is a team effort, though, and that team are currently on the lookout for volunteers to help speed things up.
Inside, I Fury two bandits, get backed into a corner, then jump over a table to escape them. With them taken care of head east to the stable looking structure that is next to the Refuge entrance. One idea that George Broussard and I discussed years ago was to bring back Jazz as an FPS, Jumping Flash style.
Real ways to make money on runescape, make money on twitter ebook pdf, stock trade st petersburg florida, Best stocks bear market, how to get money on skyrim pc not lag, profit sharing vs stock options, call option to buy. About the only way this could be a let down is if both questlines steered you awkwardly into the same brain-numbingly dry prophecy guff and it crashed constantly!So, er, the bad news first: that. Visit the Skywind development forum for more details.There are also plans to port Oblivion into the Skyrim engine as part of the mod, as you'll see in the video of the Imperial City below. Downstairs, a woman with a mace and a shield comes at me, so I Fury her too and duck into a cell. When and NPC catches you trying to pick their pocket (as opposed to catching you picking someone else pocket) they become aware of you and their awareness takes much longer to go away. Go back up that ramp (be sure to only go up the first ramp because there is a guard that patrols at the top of the second). Just get caught by a guard very near the Refuge entrance and escape as described above over and over again.
But yeah, we'll do that in our 'spare' time."When are we getting a return to the PC FPS glory that was Unreal?"It seems as if you're asking about two entirely different games.
I dash for the door.Inside, there's a man with a battleaxe with his back to me, warming himself by a fireplace. So we walk - while I repeatedly Muffle my feet.Shortly after we emerge from the swamp outside Solitude, we see some steps leading up to a mountain temple, and a gang of people fighting on them.
Despite being presented with a choice between two factions with literally opposite objectives, both routes end up sending you on mostly the same errands, to achieve the same thing, and stop the same enemy.
As they cluster to get at me, they realise they all have closer targets they're equally angry at, and fight amongst themselves.
Turn right (south again) and go all the way to the end where you will see another ramp leading down to the right. The first Unreal was more of a single player exploratory experience whereas Unreal Tournament was a multiplayer focused game with a 'ladder' for the single player.
I Fury him and run back out.Sword guy swings at me, I jump out of the way, and sprint across the courtyard. It seems like three bandits are all attacking one woman, so I try Calming them to even the odds.
There are two marks at the end of the dock; one is fishing and the other looks like he is standing guard to the ramp that leads to the ship. Both have their strengths and weaknesses."I was quoted recently on a Fortnite panel about the first Unreal and what a reboot might look like. I'm hoping battleaxe will follow, and the two can have some kind of clash of the burly northerners out here. The two I hit immediately holster their weapons and amble about while the woman kills their friend. When it’s visiting a series of shrines to fill an urn with sacred water – as a floating genocidal vampire lord – it’s tough to enjoyIt’s also unbelievably shoddy. Having really grown into a big Bethesda fan lately (Skyrim rocked my world), I couldn't help but wonder what a reboot of Unreal would be like if it was more 'SciFi-Rim.' Sure, there would be shooting involved, but exploration would almost be more important. I'm allowed.Bandits are a trickier problem, not least because they're far, far more active in this mod-infused version of Skyrim.
The very first quest marker you get is completely wrong, leading to tedious minutes trying to climb a mountain that has nothing at the top. Another npc you can steal is npc in windhelm there is wayshrine Inside spawn there and steal people next to the house you spawn near wayshrine in windhelm. You know when the guards complain that it's been too long since a bandit raid broke up the tedium of their existence? Hurray, my arbitrarily chosen side won!The woman explains that her friend stole a sword from those bandits, and the bandits blamed her. Half the characters keep repeating their greetings on a maddening loop, then cut their plot-critical lines short after a few words, omitting essential information. I need to go back to town.It's not far, but I still manage to get lost and take a strange non-path over the mountains. Now, I often arrive at towns to find a swam of bandits battering down the doors and fighting with the guards.
When I first got the ability to turn into a vampire lord, actually doing so caused every vampire in the vampire mansion to attack me for being a vampire. They say when they tried to arrest her, the dragons themselves swooped down to intervene!They say her calling card was found in Clavicus Vile's treasure room, just to prove she could get in there if she chose! Like I can just say 'put on a full set of Daedric heavy plate armour' and-Oh, thank the Divines. The worst kind of racists.Vampire Lord mode, while an excellent phrase, is generally problematic. When your inventory is full in windhelm and you are in safe spot next house of the shrine go at the right of the house go in front of the wall a little away of the central door prepare your skills of running and then run like hell and fall down of the bridge at the left directly when you pass the door the guard can’t reach you when you fall.
Often you wind up upsetting your core whenever you make a sequel because sometimes you change things the users didn't want changed, or the users are so very in love with their memory of the original game that there's nothing you can do to live up to the first game. As a Thane of Whiterun though, it seems fitting to try and tip that balance a little in favour of the good guys. They say she's the illegitimate daughter of Nocturnal, blessed at birth by the Madgod himself! Entering it disables essential functions like the map, first-person mode, the ability to interact with quest-critical objects, and even the ability to bring up the magic menu to select the ‘turn back into a human’ option.
Then gobs of venom starting splashing into me, and I realise there are two giant spiders hiding in the trees.
This happened with Counter-Strike: Source, Quake 2, Unreal Tournament 2003, and heck, even Halo 2.
Other cities will then hopefully pick up on it and implement their own changes and eradicate the menace forever.Hence the big pile of armour from Madness. I hop up to the outcrop I last saw her on, where sword guy can't follow, and peer over the edge.
Instead you have to fumble around to discover your favourites menu has secretly been replaced with a new one, and it’s one of the skills on there.I’m playing with no mods installed, and Dawnguard regularly crashes to desktop.
I Fury more goats and stumble awkwardly down a steep slope to get away.Back in Solitude, I visit the Winking Skeever tavern to see if the bartender can sell me any illusion spells - less unlikely in Skyrim than it might sound.
All that said, I do personally believe that Unreal Tournament 3 suffered a bit from an identity crisis in regards to whether or not it was a PC or console game."So if, when?
It's my thing, you see.What will I get out of this, exactly?Unncessary amounts of lore, I suppose. An anomalous black speck amongst the ice and snow down there suggests an answer to this particular mystery. As your Thane, in the name of your personal development and for the sake of your soul, I refuse to allow this. On one PC that runs Skyrimperfectly, it crashes consistently at the same point in Dawnguard, rendering it uncompletable. A lady with balance like that should not have taken a job on a cliff.I hop over sword guy and decide to just run back towards Solitude - we're bound to run into someone I can set on him.
Even after a patch, it’s still buggy.It’s tough, because Dawnguard takes you to some beautiful places. We're understaffed right now for all of the projects we've got going on, so I can't say if or when it may happen. They have all the visual drama of Skyrim’s most spectacular views: a lonely rope bridge over a heart-stopping ice chasm, a secret glade filled with amber light, a winding path leading out of an underground mushroom forest and into the blinding white cloud of a mountaintop.
He starts yammering about an item he wants me to hold on to - it's that guy - and I'm locked into the conversation while the sword bandit takes an almighty swing. Cheating, getting something for nothing - what kind of boss would I be if I endorsed that kind of slack adventuring?
Exploring these has a real sense of adventure, and that’s Dawnguard’s biggest strength.But because they’re sprinkled across disconnected islands, caves and alternate realms, you never get the sense of a whole new land to explore. But hiring Belrand, who announces himself to be a spell-sword, costs twice as much money as I have. The Elder Scrolls community is already churning out gorgeous new places like this, not to mention new abilities.The things Bethesda can potentially do better are story and quality assurance, both of which they bungle spectacularly here. I do have a couple of gold tiaras I inexplicably found on the bandits I tricked into killing each other, but even after selling those I'm a little short.
Don't they know you can just barge into other peoples' homes and use their stuff without permission?No, I think that's just you, my Thane. You and what armour?Despite appearances, there actually is a pragmatic reason to stick to 'real' gear. There’s fun stuff in Dawnguard, but ?14 ought to buy you something a hell of a lot more polished.When originally published this review carried a score of 69, instead of the 59 that appeared in the magazine. As someone who doesn't wear armour or weapons, the only other valuable possessions I have are health potions, which I sort of need.On the other hand, there are an awful lot of health potions lying around this inn. There have been a few that have come back (Amnesia comes to mind), but by and large the genre has almost vanished. Go away!I finally hammer the right bit of my keyboard to get me out of the conversation, but not before taking a nasty blow.
The three of us stand there awkwardly for a while, as the dead bandit's corpse slides slowly down some steps.
Fatal Frame 2 and Silent Hill 2 are two of my favorite games of all time."I believe that one of the main factors for this is the blockbuster-hit driven nature of the business that we have in a disc-based market. I consider signing up with the Companions because - spoiler - werewolves, but there's a fair chunk of game before you get those powers, and I've already beaten enough people up to know that with my random mod mix at least, there's really not that much different there except for more blood and some death animations.
I nab almost as much in coin purses as I net from selling my potions, and pretty soon I can hire Belrand with change. You're either Call of Duty, Skyrim, or Gears, or it seems like you're a 'campaign rental' or a used game.
It's not magic, but the old fashioned switcheroo should be in every illusionist's repetoire. That mod is a prime example of my theory stating, 'Bugs notwithstanding, there's a direct correlation between how cool your game is and how many interesting YouTube videos it can yield.' I loved the 'Never trust anyone in DayZ, especially if they have a helicopter' video. Theirs is a highly-scripted kind of life - an okay bit of the game, sure, but not one I see offering much variety regardless of anything added on.The Thieves? Pure gold."So, put the survival and social aspects aside for a second and step back and consider that we're in a world where a mod like that can blow up thanks to the connected nature of the world in which we live.
Here, it turns out that I can recruit as many as I want - though it does cause some pretty heavy slowdown after a while.
Night Shyamalan utterly missed the point, butchered the chara- sorry, I'm drifting.Bah, I walked backwards all the way here because someone said it was cool, and what do I see? They have possibilities, and personally speaking are more interesting since I largely avoided their questline on roleplaying grounds when I first played Skyrim.
It's going to be a weird relationship.When we get to the fort, I check he's close behind and walk into the battleaxe bandit's building. A handful of guys can now have a great idea for the next big thing and put it out and it can explode seemingly overnight! The brothel bath-house thing is the perfect recruiting ground, being full of potential Followers and with the option to hire more in.

Here as elsewhere, it seems odd to be the hero who both rescues old ladies' cats for XP and knocks over their houses while they sleep. He switches back to mace and shield to block an archer's arrows as he charges her and beats her to death, then brings out the axe to take on a swordsman. We had seen this before with mods like Counter-Strike, but it's only become more and more frequent lately."My wife and I were very hooked on Minecraft for months. That said, the first thing I did in Skyrim was try to figure out how to join the Dark Brotherhood and blaze through their bloody, murderous questline with intense glee, so what would I know?To Riften then. It's brilliant, and I have a lot of respect for Notch and the crew at Mojang, and I find it thrilling that unique games like the aforementioned can flourish now."You have unlimited funds and processing power. The only tricky thing is recruiting enough people and persuading them to stop getting naked enough to put on some armour. I run.It's a few minutes' jog down the snowy path towards Solitude before we meet anyone else. While I'm sure there are mods out there that turn every conversation into a potential scene from the most awkward porn movie ever, none of those seem to be installed in this playthrough. Next!Mace lady is a tougher nut: she has a shield, and she's keenly interested in attacking me instead of Belrand. Or to be more accurate, to do the Skyrim equivalent of sheparding sheep to Whiterun so they can fight the bandit hordes.Attention, brave sluts, for today you fight for glory and your Hold, but mostly my benefit! You can have your own clothes back on Fredas, and not a minute before.If you die, do I just get a new Housecarl automatically, or is there some kind of form to fill in? I actually have to Fury her to persuade her that we're equally tempting targets, and she and Belrand trade dozens of expertly blocked blows. Asking for a friend.I arrive on a cold, grey morning, and on the outside at least, nothing seems different - beyond the now familiar giant trees everywhere.
As usual, I'm greeted by the world's lamest shakedown attempt.Hey, you have to pay the visitor's tax.Oh, is this one of those shakedown things?Aaargh! I can't really do anything without mana.I'm seriously low on health, completely out of mana, and trapped in an awkward corner with the lightning bandit bearing down on me. Mace lady is better at it, thanks to the shield, but just as she gets into her stride, Belrand throws up a dazzling white dome of light. She doesn't seem to know what to do about it, and while she flounders, Belrand cuts her down with a rapid flurry of slashes. First, that someone out there, at some point, looked at a mudcrab and thought "You know what would make this perfect? He drops his sword, pitches forwards, his arms go limp, and he ploughs into the snow, flopping onto his back as he slides gently down the mountainside. Why spend 'money' on things made by so-called 'professionals' when we can just grab some resources, make our own gear, and still have enough cash left to find out what Skooma tastes like?And you can actually do this?I'm almost positive I can.A lot of clothes in the game have just automatically changed - the standard female mage robe for instance now has a rather prominent hole exactly where you'd think, given Lydia's current uniform and the rather pornier things I'm not showing.
I'll let you in if you promise not to tell anyone I just peed my armour a little!Truly, Riften is the Sin City of Skyrim.Inside though, it's a little cheerier than I remember - not a redesign, but definitely more colourful. You still have to acquire them though, with some found in stores, but most crafted at a forge.
For want of inspiration, and to see if it would continue the trend of most stuff around happening near Whiterun, I finally take the Jarl up on his offer to buy Breezehome.
That seems the wrong way to go, really - I always though Riften should be darker rather than lighter.
Almost as weird as some of the items is the fact that you're expected to bring a whole ton of materials, rather than the recipe just being a loaf of bread or something - a sack of ebony for instance, or Daedric hearts that you're probably not going to just stumble across.But I suppose this is only reasonable. With their enchanted armour and mostly decent weapons, they carve through the bandits with only one friendly fatality. It just doesn't have any sense of danger to it, from the hilariously open shakedowns to the way the Thieves Guild approach you with work. If you're going to mod a game like Skyrim, you obviously want to stick as close as possible to the Skyrim economic system and esteemed Elder Scrolls lore.There. The guards don't offer any thanks, but they do get to keep breathing, and Whiterun is safe for another day. Unfortunately, I can't actually get to the door because Whiterun is still an insane waterpark. The obvious plan then - station these proud warriors in strategic locations and tell them to stand on alert.
To avoid any bugs and potential map trouble there, I leave Lydia somewhere safe and warp across.I'm going home. Ever vigilant and ready to-Where the hell did my militia go?I think they got bored and went back home for a naked bath, my Thane. You'll be fine spending the night in this luxury suite full of food, booze, music and an army of hot naked guys catering to your every wish, right?For you, my Thane, I shall endure.Don't get used to it. COC WHITERUNBREEZEHOME!Oooh, sorry, he only works Morndas to Middas.Arriving in Breezehome, it's dark and crappy, and impossible to see anything even at mid-day. Riften just doesn't have any oomph.I check inside a few buildings before kicking off the Thieves' Guild storyline, but nothing exciting pops up. Not everyone is as loyal as a Housecarl.Still, the basic idea seems to work - and the squad is combat efficient.
Truly, the Jarl was generous when he let me buy what I believe estate agents refer to as a blower-upper property in his town. Knowing that stealth is going to be an issue though, and I'm already pretty bad at it, I decide I should probably do something with Lydia before making my mark on the criminal underworld.Welcome to Haelga's Bunkhouse, now piss off and die. I don't care, just as long as it at least pretends to try and cover my entire ass.Of course. If I gave you an apple, it would be full of maggots and streaked with the brown of my own scented arse-crack. Anything for my most loyal Housecarl.Thank y--is what I'd say if I hadn't just used the last of our crafting resources making these new boots for myself.
Don't worry though, I'm sure we'll be able to whip up some more traditionally heroic gear when we get to the our next town or fifth.You want me to parade through every bloody hold in the country in these humiliating outfits, purely to give you a cheap excuse to go sight-seeing instead of doing your job and fighting the dragons who want to kill us all?By the Divines, no.
I'm here in my full motley to protect you from misery - to be your personal gaudy-bard, if you will! I will be proud to fill your days with song and music, and your world with glorious light!Excellent. Want this free spell tome for no apparent reason?Only because it would be impolite to refuse.The Thieves Guild questline kicks off with a guy called Brynjolf recruiting you to steal something from one of the vendors in Riften's market and plant it on another. We'll definitely be skipping that one.Looking around, mods have added at least a couple of options for getting around. For starters, there's a ring of portals just outside Whiterun that warp you to any of the Holds you like - regardless of whether you've made the trip there before. If you're still alive in there, be useful for once and start toasting these marshmallows on yourself. By the way, not sure whether that's screaming or singing I hear but stop it, I'm off for a nap and don't want to be disturbed.Leaving the smouldering carcass where it fell, it's time to head upstairs to bed. About ten hours sleep should suffice, after which it'll be a new day, and a new opportunity to find adventure.Zzzzzzzzz. Skyrim already offered carriages for getting between Holds (though they were easy to miss), but they were essentially teleporters. Luckily, he's still a moron and decides I have the 'spark' his organisation needs, and I get the invite to the secret underground Thieves Guild headquarters anyway.
Both sides have their own little village - Madness a mess of crystals, while Dementia keeps things low key with an icy lake area - and have started fighting after lots of essentially getting on fine. This explains a lot about Riften.To get to the Guild, you have to go through a set of underground tunnels called the Ratway. Both decide that you've been sent by Sheogorath to help break the stalemate, and waste no time trying to recruit the Dovahkiin. I have a split personality you will find endearing and wacky, because I'm from Madness and we're just CRAZY! I also have boobs, and armour that lets you see said boobs and like sex and quote Serenity!And I'm Captain Jack.
My wacky thing is I have a talking mudcrab I will argue with for your entertainment, and if it'll sweeten the pot, just mebbe I'll let you see me arsecrack.I don't know, you're both quite annoying. But I don't see a door back home anywhere, so how about I just flip a coin - heads you win, tails I probably end up decapitating you.
When you strip an NPC, it also gets rid of their weapons and armour, leaving them with just their fists and hopefully easy them easy picking for- Oh crap.That didn't do anything, did it? Ah, the fun we have, watching horny kids running round town every night, flashing away in increasing desperation.
On the Madness side, you start by travelling to the village through caves and a couple of Dementia ambushes, with Madness using robot spiders as troops and Dementia favouring zombies.
Once there, an epic battle breaks out amongst big swirling shields, and the Jarl - busy painting - decides the only rational solution is to discuss peace. Pulling out my scimitar and a hand of magic death, I still manage to take them down thanks to my fast-recharging magicka and lots of convenient corridors. But given where this is, an assassination mission is chosen instead - quite possibly because the Jarl of Dementia has a seriously awful voice actress and such things must be Punished with Fire.To get to Dementia though, you have to complete three trials. It's a close thing though, and I'm pretty metaphorically bloody by the time I get to the Thieves Guild.Everyone's gathered together in an underground tavern called The Ragged Flagon - a merry band of crooks, thieves, bounders and cads. You are the wussiest Mafia ever!Their badass credibility isn't exactly helped by the first mission - to go shakedown some merchants.
Everyone makes it clear that the Thieves Guild is all talk, to the point of not so much being shocked when I do things like threaten their families as just a little surprised. Brynholf admits this, but says it's all in order, and everything will become clear after I speak with their leader, Mercer Frey.Mister J is here?!Uh, no.
But if the next room is full of cups, I'm going straight for the wooden one - even if that's historically questionable at best.Actually, that doesn't work - not really. The platforms only spring into existence when you jump down, which is better than the movie's rather weird version. Credit where it's due, was not expecting that.Mental illness is funny and awesome!If it's not obvious from the video, the way this works is that the ghosts are incredibly tough and the apples are instant-kill death. Only the most trusted, experienced thief can even dream of thinking to aspiring of running this most esteemed guild!
As a more competent criminal than you might say: "This is a nice Thieves Guild you've got here.
DEFEAT ME IN THE MENTAL ARENA OR PREPARE TO BE-For your sake, this had better not involve some ancient, generic riddles you found on a back of a cereal box this morning.I AM ALMOST POSITIVE IT WILL NOT!Fine, go. Be a shame if anything happened to it."Normally of course, this would be a pretty empty threat. Whatever.IT IS GREATER THAN GOD, MORE EVIL THAN THE DEVIL, THE POOR HAVE IT, THE RICH NEED IT, AND IF YOU EAT- Ow!
Plot critical NPCs are immortal, and even if not, you don't generally survive long by walking up to one and biffing them in the face while dressed as Harley Quinn. Now though, I'm pretty sure everyone in Skyrim can be taken down, with the possible exception of the kids.
Now stop wasting my time and open that door before I get cross.As for Dementia itself, there's not a lot to it beyond killing its leader, Jarl Danni. Mercer is a bit weird because attacking him doesn't actually count as attacking a member of the Guild, so everyone just ignores you if you start fighting to the death.
The other heads of this idiotic group of fools and morons also have to be cleansed to consider the job done though - to say nothing of all those layabouts sitting around and farting in the Flagon - so never mind.Not only can I wipe them all out right now though, I can do it without even even officially being responsible. The only question left to ponder is whether or not it's appropriate for a hero to take sides in this kind of conflict without knowing the stakes, the players, or what the long-term implications of allowing a hero of prophecy to take direct action will-Never mind then.Finally then, the reward for all this madness - loot!
Most are unsurprisingly goofy and pointless, like a fork that gives you meat when you hit people, or a blunted sword. Either it won't be useful, or it won't be much better than you've already got, or it'll be a handful of gold for your trouble.
Please do not mind my screams as I go to find my +2 Boots Of Much Stomping to deal with this, the greatest threat I have ever faced. All in a box, and nobody to tell you that you can only take one thing, like some kind of game-balance Nazi.
Having gathered your fill, a door then leads back to Breezehome - and it's even a two-way one in case you want to check back on Madness any time in the future. By the way, this is my badass calling card.As for the Flagon folks, they're unfortunately smart enough to hang out in a room with no big stuff to climb on, and it turns out that Brynholf is God.
I opt for the "Mummy" strategy of dealing with an immortal - filling the room with plague rats, then locking all the doors with a magical locking spell I found.
He'll probably be back in two thousand years to wreak vengeance in one decent movie and several shitty sequels, but that's something for a future hero of Tamriel to worry about.And so was the hostile takeover of the Thieves Guild complete, lacking only a few minor things from the official route - the missions, the money, the items, the option to wander off with Nocturnal's Skeleton Key and any in-game recognition of the victory. How did you get into my room, and does it work in reverse?Maybe you're just DREAMING, lass. Or maybe it was the CONSOLE summoned me here for the sake of an IMPLIED NARRATIVE in an otherwise disconnected SERIES OF EVENTS!How undelightfully meta.
I've got a busy day tomorrow and as head of the Thieves Guild, everyone will be much better off if I get my beauty sleep.Ah, but will they? WAVE it at these corrupt, ignorant mortals, HO-HO, and WONDERS shall come flying out-I am not making anything come from your penis.Fine. I'm so endearingly wacky and I'm like this ALL THE TIME!Yes, it's a bit of an indulgence - but there are a few items in Skyrim that seemed an obvious fit for someone's modding efforts, and Wabbajack was top on the list. Cue a trip to the console to get hold of it, followed by immediately wishing I'd phrased that differently. Only one question remains - is the population of Riften corrupt enough to deserve being wiped off the face of Tamriel?Yes, obviously. And for reasons totally unrelated to me or any atrocities committed by person or persons unknown, we can NEVER RETURN HERE EVER AGAIN.But-NEVER.

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