Packed with advice, inspiration, ideas, and lessons learned about designing a home that reflects your personality and style. This sounds silly, being afraid of happiness, but I think there are a lot of out there who are.
However, there is another factor contributing to her not being as happy as she ought to be. What is the difference if Erin feels safe and happy with my new job now or a year from now?
Living in the moment can be so difficult yet so important, we all need to appreciate success, special moments & good times as they come to us because in life everything that is good always goes by too fast! Ironic I’m reading this sitting on the front porch eating a Popsicle while my boys play in the grass. Your posts are always insightful, and a great addition to Erin’s own essays on top of the regular features of her wonderful blog. My name is Erin, and if I hadn’t known you were talking about your other half, I would swear you were talking about me. One day I was invited to join a group of moms for a gathering just after we sent our kids off on the first day of school that year.
For example, I made my conditions for contentment $xxxxxx in the bank, a beautiful home, a thriving multi-six figure business, fabulous clothes, the ardent attention of a cassanova-type man, and epic vacations.
Now my conditions are closer to: not using an alarm in the morning to wake up, glitter on my nails, really good tea, a long lunch with a friend, walking around the park, a meditative service at church, visiting my grandmother, a hug from my boyfriend.
Then I make my gratitude list, satisfy an easy condition (hugs are my fave) and get on with it. Beautiful Quotes On Daily Life The True Secret Of Happiness Lies In Taking A Genuine interest in all the  details of daily life.


Get rid everything that doesn’t make you happy and focus your attention on the things that do. All brand names and trademarks mentioned in this site are the property of their respective owners.
Certainly there are varying degrees of this fear, but I wanted to put my two cents in on this topic.  A recent string of arguments between Erin and I have had this central theme. Over the past few years I have either been in a start-up company or in a position where I wasn’t really satisfied. Growing up, my mother was constantly reminding me to have a positive attitude, even when life sucks. I tend to be more like Erin, I think, but I’m learning to let my perspective evolve, and have a conscious stake in my own happiness. Now, all of that is great, but all of it is sometimes hard to come by, never mind on a daily basis. I am having a terribly bad mood day and this just gave me a little perspective and dare I say “joy”! Neither provided a tremendous amount of stability, a key to Erin being able to let her happiness flourish.
This is what people mean when they say you have to choose happiness (and has its roots in the phrase “shit happens”). There are going to be times in life when things aren’t perfect (a little secret…those can be happy times too if you really master this skill). Thank you so much for your valuable insight and writing it in such a tender, understanding way.
This alone puts a tremendous amount of strain and pressure on her and when things aren’t going as she envisions, it is harder for her to feel happy.


Fear that the happiness is temporary and that the let down when it ultimately goes away is too much to bear. Appreciating the streetlights hit the new leaves on the trees at night, or reveling in something that makes me laugh can go a long way towards reminding me that it’s not so bad afterall, really. She is safer by not allowing herself to feel that happiness, because the disappointment when it goes away is devastating. Because your ability to be happy is between your ears, it’s on your terms whether you feel happy all the time or never at all. My biggest fear (you know, aside from weird and grotesque things happening to eyeballs or being unprepared for public speaking…) is unhappiness. I’m learning a balance however, a little bit here, a little bit there, and trying to just enjoy the personal moments that are not shared because those are the ones that cannot be taken away.
Instead of being an incentive to go out and take on all the things that have the potential to make me happy, my fear of unhappiness is paralysing, and can prevent me from doing anything at all, which, let’s be honest, only guarantees my unhappiness. I can think of lots of times; sitting on a beach, on the Seine with Erin watching the Eiffel tower light up, when we first got Baxter, and then again with Oliver, when we got married, our honeymoon, meeting Erin, graduating from college, getting my new job, a glass of wine watching the sunset at the ranch, and I can go on. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.



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