15.12.2014

I want to get pregnant but my husband pulls out

Track yourself for two months, and you’ll get a sense of about how many days after your period starts that you ovulate. The key to feeling relaxed about it is to get as much information as you can and then start charting. If it's not, get The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex--and find out what you've been missing. Join over 23,000 people who receive my monthly marriage newsletter--and get a FREE COPY of my eBook, 36 Tips to Bring Sexy Back to Your Marriage. FAM (the Fertility Awareness Method) can be used to achieve pregnancy, prevent pregnancy, or even just help you get to know your body better. I mean, if there is no biological reason, I’m a firm believer in just saying yes to sex and if you fall pregnant, learning to overcome whatever emotional issue there is surrounding not wanting to fall pregnant.
If a man would insist on not using birth control knowing a pregnancy could seriously deform or kill his baby or wife, then it has to be ok to simply say no to sex altogether. I follow and love your blog, but this is a topic I have either missed you addressing, or perhaps you haven’t addressed it. I once had a reader write because her husband was a pastor who had been involved in porn ten years prior. But five years later the adoption thing hadn’t worked for various reasons, and I found myself wanting another baby. But I just am not prepared to be pregnant right now, and so I’m going to have say no on these days. There are at least 3 reasons a) He is open to having more children b) He does not like contraception or the condom in particular c) He just doesn’t want to think about it but wants sex when he wants it.
We are counselled to learned moderation in all our other bodily tendencies, but sex is to be indulged without limit!


NFP didn’t work for us at all, as we had two unplanned pregnancies and ultimately avoided sex for a while out of fear, which was hard on our marriage. The issue is that he refuses to wear a condom and doesn’t want me on hormonal birth control or to use an IUD. You can only get pregnant when the egg is viable, and that’s roughly 3-7 days a month. If you have agreed that you don’t want any more children, then both of you need to be responsible with that, however that may look in your marriage. But no matter what birth control method you use (short of sterilization), there is always a risk. I have never done well with hormonal stuff, and of course – no married couples really wants to use condoms.
Were he to remarry, he may want to have a child with that new wife, and that would be a good thing to do. But regardless of where you fall in this debate, I think these answers will apply to all of us. Now many of these sites are trying to help you get pregnant, but the principle is the same. Thus, there are only about 4 days of a woman’s cycle where she can get pregnant (3 days before ovulation to 1 day after). I realize there are probably other issues going on but I at least wanted to provide some slight reassurance that all is not lost. If this is the case in your marriage, then having some discussions with him is in order, and if that isn’t getting anywhere, talking to a third party to help you work this out is likely in order, too.
But one of your needs is feeling close to your husband, and one of his needs is feeling close to you through a fulfilling sex life.


It can be done, and will definitely take some compromise on both sides, but there are new options all the time, and you may be able to find a non-hormonal method that works for you.
The procedure was no big deal (he had a little tenderness, but was totally better in a week) and has had no further side effects.
And if you do get pregnant, God will be there to give you strength and help you love that baby and mother that baby. Its like a woman with bulimia who eats and eats and then throws it up – pleasure but not the result. We hate how condoms interfere with intimacy, and we don’t want to do anything hormonal. We have sex, and in the after glow, I know he sends up a short prayer, asking God’s will in everything, but that if we could not get pregnant that would be nice.
Personally, I feel God respects my husbands prayer much more because he is the head of the house, and he knows my hubby’s heart. We know that we would love a baby if we were blessed with another one, but hubby just feels in his heart that we are done with the growing of the family. This trusting God for the size of our family has brought us 3 babies in 3.3 years, but also has given me 5 yrs of rest since the last one. Who knows how we will feel in the future, but for now – our peace and trust rests in God.



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