05.07.2015

Having a baby at 40 for the first time

To see our content at its best we recommend upgrading if you wish to continue using IE or using another browser such as Firefox, Safari or Google Chrome. Girl in the dressing gown Parenting is like a constant exam, especially in the early days. March 27, 2015 By Becky (Your Modern Family) 116 Comments I have been thinking about this a lot and wanted to share it with you… that moment when you realize that you are done having babies and you are closing that chapter. Last night, while we were out to eat with our four kids, I looked over at the booth across the room from our table. The look that he gave back to me told me his answer (I had five very high risk pregnancies, one ending in a loss~ read that story here). I think that coming to terms with the fact that you are done having babies is hard, whether this is after you have had one baby or 18 babies… realizing that this is your LAST baby is something to stop you, to make you think, to make you appreciate and miss what you had and have. The last time that you felt that first flutter in your belly- the one that felt like tiny butterfly wings on the wall of your uterus. The last time that I ran to the bathroom, after my husband burnt something in the kitchen, because my pregnant hormones were not letting me handle any smells out of the norm. The last time that our sons would put their hands on my belly and wait for their sibling to kick it away. The last time that our baby, in my belly, would kick my husband’s back while I slept during the night (our babies were always so active at night). Or, in that same day, discover how much fun it can be to play in the sand and look out at the ocean.
I won’t swing them over the ocean when they are tiny enough to let me lift them high enough to barely let those little toes touch the water. And, my children will not know my maternal Grandparents (the reason that we know & love the beach like we do), because as we got older, so did they. So, while not having any more children symbolizes all of these things for me, we are moving on from those days. We are moving into our middle years:  adventures, laughs, real conversations with our kids, seeing their dreams become reality.


While the thought of not being in the baby stage is sad for me, because I do love it so, I am so excited for what is to come. I can only imagine how much fun life will be as they continue to grow and we can continue to connect with them in ways that we didn’t realize. If you are a first time mom over 35 and 40, finding emotional support for your pregnancy can be as be as challenging as getting a colicky baby to stop crying. In my forties, I still was not able to close that chapter in my life, so my husband, who had no children of his own, and I sought infertility treatment.
We just had some dear friends give birth to their first daughter last night and I have been so emotional.
When I had her, I ended up with an emergency c-section because we were losing her, and unfortunately, the c-section caused me to lose a lot of blood and almost die on the table. It makes me a little bit sad that they are growing up, but it’s nice seeing them grow and change. I always thought I would have at least 3 and now that I am 36 it has been a little sad for me to think that we are done having babies in our home.
It’s a sad day when you know you are done, but there are also wonderful things to look forward to and enjoy. I had a difficult first pregnancy that ended in an emergency c-section that saved our daughters life. The more I look at our children, the more I want one more, but the more I realize that I probably won’t be able to safely.
I know many people who have not been able to experience the miracle of birth from their own body so I keep trying to remind myself that I have been blessed beyond measure and to always be thankful for what I have been given!
I will respect that completely ( unless God makes a miracle happen out of our control of course) but it still is hard for me to swallow. I think about another one from time to time but my tubes are tied and honestly I hated being pregnant.
For now I want to be happy and content where I am and if ever there came a surprise that would be great too!


I think about some of my family that would give anything just for one child of any gender and I consider myself fortunate to experience pregnancy twice. You are no longer the girl who stays out beyond 6pm, or summons people for impromptu after-work drinks. I love my kids and am grateful to God for each of them , only if He wants would I have another one. Thinking about what adventures our little family has to come is what I’m trying to focus on these days instead of dwelling on what will never be again.
Instead, you screech through the door late in the morning with baby sick on your skirt and spend the day checking up on your childminder, counting down the minutes until you can be reunited with your precious one.
There was no one to compare notes with, once the initial influx of guests - helping, advising, coaching and cuddling - dropped away. But I soon realised that, in the middle of the night, it's best to deliver the bottle without making eye contact if you want a quick retreat to your quilt. The other half knew this and regularly 'played dead', knowing I would stand to attention if he seemed to be in a deep sleep.
I soon got wise to that and became adept at elbowing his middle-aged belly to ensure he answered the call to milk.
Plus, as a medic I know the risks of pregnancy and childbirth in your 40s are far greater for both you and your baby. But - I have to admit - if I could turn back the clock at all, I'd keep on turning until I'd lost a decade.



Early signs of pregnancy after ivf transfer
During pregnancy mood swings


Comments to «Having a baby at 40 for the first time»

  1. Rocky writes:
    Away from feminine deodorant sprays and douches; to wipe from entrance.
  2. superman writes:
    But No Period ??both sleeping way over regular or being utterly unable every part in his mouth.
  3. Azeri_GiZ writes:
    Purpose, it is vital to rule out pregnancy so you'll be able.