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Author: admin, 27.02.2015. Category: Positive Thought For The Day

September 19, 2013 By Bill Farr 1 Comment SharesAs someone who has been in disastrous relationships, I’ve always wondered why I could get along with so many people and yet had such a difficult time in certain relationships with women I loved. Knowing your predominant type and the characteristics, allows a person to understand what they offer to a relationship and what to look for from others. With all the subcategories, there are a variety of combinations of these personality types and couples can identify how to improve their relationship by having awareness of how they match up.
Creating harmony in a strained relationship often requires an equivalent amount of work relative to the amount of change a person is looking for. The answer can be found in the techniques for discovering the level of each partner’s commitment. If you have been with abusive or repeated inconsiderate partners, it is helpful to understand why someone inconsiderate is at all attractive for you.
All relationships have conflict and that shouldn’t be a problem for either person; problems occur when the conflict goes unresolved.
The communication exercises are designed specifically for those who have a hard time expressing themselves. In my classes people have asked me if the conflict they are having is part of a healthy relationship. Every person I have met has conflict within themselves, and is revealed within their negative emotions, such as anger, fear, anxiety, guilt, unhappiness, and anything other than absolute love. Avoiding conflict allows resentment to build, then explode causing people to say things they later regret. Any relationship counselor will tell you the fastest way to improve your relationship is by improving yourself. If a relationship lacks substance, it is often because one or both partners are not connecting on a level of complementing nature or personality types. After some of the experiences I had I didn’t actually think it was possible to be in a long-term happy relationship. This creates flowing partnerships, rather than typical competitive and frustrating interactions many relationships endure.

A single person can learn how to identify and choose their most complementary match for their type, allowing them a head start for the challenges that face every relationship. For that there are many techniques in the book, such as identifying your “Emotional Prison,” “Self-fulfilling Prophecy,” communication and compatibility exercises, and more. This allows a person to know if they are, offering too much, are too needy, or with a person who is not offering them enough. Too often people find themselves repeating the same relationship patterns without any good result. This most commonly occurs because people in strained relationships are unaware of how to express themselves or they are afraid to. They use techniques to keep the communication proactive and be sure each partner feels heard. Adding another person to this creates more conflict, so there is no reason to fear it or think it’s just your relationships. I Shaman I studied with told me “If you don’t let the little cats out, a roaring lion will emerge.” The trick is to plan for ways to respect one another in the process of expressing yourself.
Have the awareness to look for a person who naturally receives what is natural for you to provide and vice versa. Knowing and understanding these types will allow you to do what is required to find harmony even between competing types. Bill teaches the connection of mind, body, and spirit and how that relates to everyday life and relationships. Searching for answers, I studied Taoism and Psychology and learned about two personality types based on the principles of the Yin-Yang. Understanding your type also provides insight as to why you become anxious or fearful, and when you are not acting within your nature and why.Typically, healthy initiators, or “Benevolent Entitleds” as they are called, offer the vision for the relationship as well as some version of protection for their partner. This avoids the problem that most relationships have regarding the how they talk to one another when they are emotionally charged. The only couples without conflict are those that are afraid of it and don’t express themselves.

The basis for my book shows that we are absolutely different from each other, yet we absolutely need one another as well, thus creating a source of conflict.
When you are in your pathology, often it is because you are spending time away from your natural type based on fear, self-protection, insecurity, or ego. Dismantle your fears and insecurities and allow yourself the confidence to express who you are naturally. Initiators can learn from other initiators, but spending too much time with them will make for a competitive relationship. Their basic roles are one person being the initiator in the relationship holding the vision for the couple and the other supporting that, with each partner flowing in and out of each type to create harmony in different situations. In different relationships it looks a lot smoother than others because they feel respect and appreciation for one another but that stems from good communication. The good news is, when you operate in your conflicts with love and respect for one another, it creates more intimacy, more connection, and more understanding. So if you are supporting when you would prefer to initiate, you will be unsatisfied and vise-versa.
Healthy “Supports” get behind a path they whole-heartedly believe in and are typically creative and care giving.
Unhealthy Supports have difficulty saying no to people and become overwhelmed trying to support everyone. In great relationships we move in and out of each type depending on the situation, our mood, and interactions we have with our partner.

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