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Author: admin, 08.10.2015. Category: Positive Phrases About Life

Excellent job on your re-write.  Thank you for looking over the comments and using them to improver your writing. Again, you used very descriptive writing and told a good story.  Your first three paragraphs were particularly strong. Good job on following my comments and coming up with a thesis sentence.  This helps to guide the reader by knowing what your essay is going to be about. The overall flow of your essay works very well.  You tell a complete story from beginning to end and use suspense to help make your story interesting. You had several run-on sentences in your writing.  To check for run-on sentences try reading each sentence out loud to yourself and listen for natural pauses that occur when you are reading. Re-state your thesis in your concluding paragraph using different words.  Simply by stating that this was a time you did not know what was happening, it reminds the reader what your essay was all about. This kind of program is actually helpful for many students especially in helping them up in improving their skills in essay writing.
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