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Author: admin, 31.05.2014. Category: The Power Of Attraction

One of the chapters explains the importance of eye contact and reveals various gaze tactics.. Not that I hate the idea of gabs, but I do wonder whether my “Lovely day today, don’t you think?” remark might seem indecent to the fellow traveler. The biggest paradox of small talk is that it is meant to take the edge of an interaction, not to give you an extra trouble. So why do we struggle to start a chit chat then?In 1923 Bronislaw Malinowski studied the matter and concluded that phatic conversation (i.e. It looks that being able to start a light talk with strangers, falls into a category of inessential, but absolutely delightful talents. Good thing about this talent is that there are ways to master it, even if you believe you are a chronic introvert.First, you should probably learn how to recognize a phatic conversation and why appreciate it.
Apparently, a lot of Germans (see our previous article) find small talks to be pointless and fake. If you take his [or her] words literally, you are likely to become angry and say, “Any damn fool can see I have.”Although, classic ‘How are you?’ question doesn’t necessarily mean a person who addresses you is curious about your well-being, he still sends you a signal that he wants to be nice and friendly to you. This short phrase might lead to certain interpersonal connection in the future.When do I Start a Small Talk?What are the situations when small talk is appropriate and even expected? For such cases dinner etiquette guidelines suggest to have a conversation with a person to your right during first course of a meal. When the course is changed, try to engage in the conversation with a person to your left.Business meetings usually start from small talk as well.

Remember that the host of the meeting has to be the one who changes the direction of conversation towards business talk. Mild observations or questions about weather, traffic, recent travelling, books, movies, art, current events, new restaurants and good food, hobbies, mutual friends or family members, music or flower arrangement fit into the category. Jane is interested in flamenco and is a dancer herself.HospitalityCan I offer you something to drink? Just like you choose an outfit to wear, think of possible topics you would like to discuss this evening.
Check current headlines, recent sport events and world news just to be in the loop on what is happening.Eleanor Roosevelt had a special way to handle small talks. Do you like making photos?Business networking experts often advise to try and practice a possible conversation in front of the mirror; prepare a list of topics and see how you look and sound. Talking to yourself might seem funny and awkward, but such training is a useful method to get rid of small talk anxieties.Your posture plays a significant role in the way you are perceived by people.
Leaning a little towards your acquaintance will signal him that you are interested in the conversation. Also, don’t forget about positive body language, eye-contact and smiling.To be a good company, you don’t need to be a big talker. There is a handy trick you can use to make a great impression – use open-ended questions.
This approach not only will save you from the need to talk a lot, but also strengthen your reputation as a wonderful person to speak with.There are situations when sudden pauses kill the flow of conversation.

That might be a good time to consider switching your small talk partners by saying something like – ‘Oh, I see a friend of mine at the bar, I should probably go to say hello. Thank you for a great chat.’Similar phrase will help you to escape an unpleasant situation. If you wish to quickly end a chit chat with an importunate person, just say that you need to refill your drink and mention that it was nice talking with him. If a person is standing too close to you and you feel you are getting cornered, just extend your hand which holds a cocktail, so the person would be one arm away from you.Bottom line is, if you wish to master your communication skills you have to practice. When attending a party find a group of people who are having a conversation and ask politely if you could join them.
Carducci (director of the Shyness Research Institute in Indiana) says – “A golden rule is that you don’t have to be brilliant – just nice. If you start with simple even obvious comments, that makes it easier for others”.Do you have questions about Small Talk or you think we forgot to mention something important?

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