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18.03.2015 admin
After having some "minor" problems with Wildstar the past week, I had to dig up some alternatives to kill my time.
The Survival genre is one of my favorite genres, even tough most game in the category are either really shit, early access or hard to get into.
Animal products are without a doubt one the biggest contributors to global warming, so what better way to go green than going vegan! These are just a few ideas, but I encourage you to have fun with the challenge and get creative. Vegaholic is an offline app, so if you’re ever out at a bar with no service you can easily look up what beers, wines, and liquors are vegan friendly! So why is it that when I bring up that I’m a vegan most men can’t keep up the act and make an effort to relate to me?
It’s hard to image that both cats and foxes are victims of the fur trade, but sadly they are.
Both The Humane Society and Mercy For Animals have halted their undercover camera investigations into animal cruelty in five farm states, including Iowa and Utah where these ad-gag laws went into effect last year.
These activists (whom I greatly admire) that expose grotesque forms of animal abuse that lead to more humane forms of factory farming are the criminals here? In 2011, the meat industry backed laws in four states to make taking photos or videos on farms and slaughterhouses illegal. I just liked to point out that there are some important upcoming elections on March 5th, 2013 and November 4th, 2014.
Lord knows I left out a lot, so feel free to leave your favorite vegan chefs, shops, and bakeries in the comments!
I also wonder whether it might be apt in describing the sometimes contemptuous relationship between scientific progress and religion (Christianity in particular), as the guiding pragamtic ethos of naturalism wars against orthodox Christian belief. The Acton Institute is funded through the generous contributions of individuals such as yourself. I thought it was either time for this, or my long delayed suicide!Doing an apprenticeship in computer sciences in switzerland is a magical thing.
It amazes me sometimes how hard an ending can ruin a gaming-experience, or even turn a mediocre game into a somewhat enjoyable experience. Amongst other things like the Wolf among us, I had a go at Sniper Elite V2 and started a new Playtrough in Dark Souls 2.While playing both of those games, and watching the Zero Punctuation Episode on the new Wolfenstein, it got me thinking about the enemies I kill on a regular basis, and how different they can be. The market ist pretty fat on those, comapred to my beloved strategy genre, and a lot of the games released are actually GOOD.The slightly embarassing truth behind this one is, that im too much of a pussy to play the genre. Most people scoff at the notion of me being tired in the evening, because obviously im just sitting on my tight attractive ass all day, without even a HINT of "actual work".
Instead of working to prevent the abuse, the meat industry is now vigorously pushing laws to prevent people from finding out about it – to make criminals not out of the animal abusers or those who foist dangerous meat onto school-children, but out of undercover investigators. I was thinking about this the other day after watching a Let's Play of Amnesia: A machine for pigs.
It's not that im too scared to boot them up, or throw shitfits the moment a shambling monstrosity enters the screen, it's the fact that certain imagery and impressions tend to stick with me FOREVER.A few years back, I watched a Horrorflick named Slither. When these scumbags that have agribusinesses in their back pocket get elected —THIS happens.
There is still a demand for milk in your coffee or cereal, but it doesn’t have to be dairy. Which means there are actually quite clear definitions on what you're supposed to exactly learn during your 4 years of state funded bumfuckery. And it's partly because the games allow you to be either space jesus or orbital satan in ME, and regular jesus and plain old satan in fable.The games usually make a big thing about this when marketing themselves, how the player forms the their character themself. Those of you unfamiliar with Roleplay and settings, where the classic "swords and bows" comes with the unecessary addition of half a fucking Steampunk-world attached to it.World of Warcraft has had this problem since Burning Crusade, where you could run into Megatron half way trough the first Questing zone.
Dudes you usually murder in quantities that would depress the average serial murder on death row, usually in a variety of ways. Instead of creating new and innovative products like their competitors Apple or Samsung, they continued to sell old technology. They also started adding Rifle Companies to a lot of the armies, where previously a Dwarf shooting a musket was the maximum in terms of Firearm you would get.
Granted, I was mostly watching Guys that tried to be funny on the way in, which might take away a little from the experience. This ranges from just regular disposal, to slogging trough the giant wave of generic grey foreigners you gotta shoot down in COD, to the much more interesting variants over in Halo.
Partly because nobody cares if you live in Minecraft, but only if you actually build impressive shit, and majorly because surviving is about as challening as beating a narcoleptic cripple at a Triathlon. Considering the amount of shit I have to put up with on a daily basis, it's a sheer wonder I havent offed myself yet.Miracalously, the Generation of people who have absolutely no idea how to handle even the simplest technology is slowly dying out. Swiss people are nothing if not fond of obsolete asshatery actual countries got rid of years ago.On the very top of the list of "things thou must learn, young Padawan", is what most students call the "slavery loophole". The sad thing is, most of the time this just comes down to two different playtroughs, presented as Black & White. Heck, even the late game weapons worn by glowing Hunters with giant raptors had the decency to look somewhat unwieldy and could only fire one bullet per shot from the way they looked.Sure, we had the occasional steamengine or spidertank. Basically, some Redneck slowly turns into a giant meaty space slug, that turns other people into obese shambling Zombies. Todays kids immeadeately grow  up with Smart Phones, Laptops and all that stuff (While it's debatable if that's a good, or a bad thing, it definetly improves my workflow), and the amount of people almost accidentally nuking a small eastern country while looking for porn decreases daily.
Sony and Panasonic, the former titans of the tech industry, are now just shells of their former selves. Halo accomplishes this by making the regular Grunts very screamy, midgety dwarfs, who ragdoll like their bones got teleported away after 3 Bullets. It's fantastic to kill time, and I love working on some sidestuff here and there, to gradually see something big and fantastic growing from nothing. It involves a ton of body horror, some really gross looking wormcreatures, and a giant, fat Lady that explodes into said Worms. And even if there is no such job to do at that very moment, most bosses will be glad to just make on up.With that established, let's go back to the magical year of 2015, my third year of apprenticeship.
You play once as the virign saving Messiah of the known world, and once as Murderdeathrape Mcgee.
It would only be a matter of time until the first retards would insist on having Sniper Rifles for their character, which is the equivalent of handing your dog an Assault Rifle to hunt the neigbors cat.
For WEEKS, the imagery would stick with me, and I had actual problems eating meat, especially sausages. Staying behind and supporting dying industries is far worse for the economy.There is no money to be made manufacturing obsolete products. The magical year where you know enough to be forced to do actual work, but still not actually getting fair pay for it.The school I used to work at had just decided that it was gonna implement W-LAN in the entire building. Anything beyond the simple version of a muscet tends to absolutely bum-fu*k the balancing in a world, when almost anyone has to either rely on a sword and a shield, or has the luxury of being a wizard.And why WOULD you not be? While it might seem slightly worrying, it's usually a good sign when your players manage to entertain themselves with murdering your footwork in increasingly cruel ways, like taping sticky grenades to their dick and kicking them into an alien orphanage.After that we have "regular" Enemies, usually your size, or at least barely your strength level.
Also, I tend to be about as creative as the kid that played by banging two bricks together back in Kindergarten. For those either living under a rock, or suffering from mild signs of retardation, it's Internet without requiring wires.
Why even demand a shotgun when you can literally wave a finger and set half an orphanage on fire, and then pick off the survivors with a few well placed lightning bolts. In this category, games sometimes try to add weight to the killing, try to make you sympathize at least somewhat with the guys you're shooting. Unreal World Probably the closest I ever came to really really liking a game about Survival.

Sometimes I would see my cat or dog moving from the corner of my eye, and it would cause me to get ugly Flashbacks and be nervous and agitated the whole day.This should illustrate, why I usually dont even touch Games of the genre with a ten foot pole. You either help the guards repel the attack and get payed by the grateful farmers, or you steal all their shit with the Bandits.
You can summon skeletons from killed enemies, cause earthquakes, use a sword twice your size to carve childish innuendo into your opponents left buttocks. On the other hand, even if the enemy is basically you painted with a different color, there are some enemy-types you can still murder without ANY explanation or deeper meaning. Interestingly tough, I still managed to be somewhat interested in the genre, for a variety of reasons. In the process of consuming the magic Elixier of life only known as "Coffee" to the Church of IT."You dont need the Toolbar, you can just type whatever you're looking for into the Adressbar.
So even WLAN has to come from a regular cable, leading to an Access Point, which then distributes magical "Air Internet" in the near vicinity.The signal of these things tends to be a fickle mistress.
Depending on who you kill, and what side of the Quest you complete, you'll earn points counting towards virtue or corruption.
Zombies and Nazis come to mind, with Zombies basically allready being dead (Also, they're trying to eat you and shit) and Nazis being THE universal enemy EVERYONE will murder without second thought. You can basically start as a naked Troglodyte with a pointy stick in the midst of winter, or as a lonely Fisherman at a River.
I usually look at scenes on Youtube, and since I can do so on my own terms, and in a "neutral" place, it works out much better than shitting myself because of stupid Redneckaliens. I want to list some of the reasons I still look and watch some of the current Horrorgames, some are simply because I think something's cool, others because im laughing my ass off at them. I could download 25 Gigs of Donkeyporn onto your rusty rig, you wrinkly dustbin, and then call the cops. Some AP's also have a nasty habit of only sending into specific directions, creating annoying little blind spots. Good heroes glow with a shining bright light and eventually boast a halo (I'm not kidding.), while evil characters start to attract flies, glow red, and eventually grow horns (Nah, still not kidding). And it pisses me off how these people dont even entertain the thought of what would happen to the setting they bring their little toys to.Imagine, for a moment, having guns in a game like Gothic.
When you used to know the guy now trying to bite your goods off, or when you contemplate how that goth chick from down the street actually looks better without a lower jaw.
If you're not one of those guys that only feel challenged when a enraged bear with Lasereyes chases them trough burning woods, you'll start in spring or summer. So when the job was handed to me, I spent about a week ordering the right kind of Access Points and planning out where those fuckers would actually go. Nazis on the other hand usually have barely enough screen time to establish how evil they are, before the player allready busily fills them with lead.Interstingly, a lot of games still try to demonize them before starting the rampage.
Content to achieved victory in the struggle of not having to move your mouse 2 inches further up than normal. Who in their right mind would fight a dragon with a blade, or an arrow, when you can just point at whatever you want killed, and pull a little trigger to do it? I especially like transformations, with Resident Evil being one of the WORST offenders when it comes to over the top mutations. One of the few perks of working in IT is the fact that you can make other people do shit like that.Two weeks later both the school and the branching workshop had beautiful, beautiful coverage.
Heck, half the plots in most RPG's would not happen if you could bring guns into the whole thing. I had a moment of hesitation where I thought of just sneaking past the regular soldier, I mean how bad can he be? This can take quite a while, since building is very labour heavy, and you have to keep yourself fed, while also preparing lasting food to get trough the cold months. The game is at least realistic with it's potrayal of the consequences in being good or evil. And like the game detected my second thoughts the dude immediately started talking about the fresh jew babies he had for dinner this morning, and how he kicked a puppy on the way in here.
Hunting is fun, realistic and really rewarding, altough most Animals are huge dicks and either run circles around your slow-ass protagonist, or decide to call their 50 pack-members to murder you horribly. Which added the joy of watching students face plant into pillars, or fall down stairs to my morning routine. Good heroes have to take the hard route more often, but are pretty much showered with rewards, while bad heroes just murder evereyone and take what they want.
There's also plainly stating that the Nazis invented time travel to change the end of WWII, or that Hitler is busy zooming around in his hate-powered space station in form of a Swastika (dont laugh, was allready done).
The contamination-system locks you inside a room together with the Monsters, and cheerfully announces that you cant leave until they have been dealt with. Nothing quite wakes me up early morning like human suffering, after all.My luck would not hold tough. As shallow as it is, it's fun to be evil just this once, turn screeching farmers into pastry and then take a bath in their liquified children.Mass Effect takes this a bunch of steps further. Hand Gimli a shotgun and Legolas a Desert Eagle and play Aerosmith in the background.It's even worse in Roleplay, because crafting an interesting combat scenario gun vs sword is not only hard, but usually leads to eventually everyone defaulting to firearms.
Dwarf Fortress Probably the king of the genre, simply because absolutely everything wants to murder you horribly. And of course it unlocks after you smeared the attacking beasts all over the walls, yourself and everything else. While it's still basically choosing the personality of your hero at the start and then just hammer the red or the blue response every time, it tries to add depth and quite a few clever outcomes to a lot of the stuff you have to decide on.
Knights become obsolete, once they fall out of their horse before even SEEING the freaking Frontline.
Just shooting dudes is fun too, and nowhere is this more appearant than in Games like Sniper V2, where the game gives you an X-Ray view of your bullet penetrating both of Fritz's Balls. Still, difficult decisions are rather rare, becuase you're not thinking "What do I do now?", instead you're thinking "I'm Paragon Shepard, so i'm going with nice response.". The Samurai didnt dissapear for the most part because their armor went out of style, but because charging a gunline with a bit of metal strapped to your belly isnt exactly good for your health.There are settings where a mix works, usually when it's specially aimed at combining the two worlds of pointy stick and BFG.
Basically, you start off with 7 Dwarf in the middle of absolutely bloody nowhere, and are tasked to build a thriving, healthy community (or whatever else rows your boat.). Which is the nice way of saying he was a salad eating, vegetarian fuck-nugget, with too much free time."You do know those are a health-hazard, right?" he asked, sitting on his chair with arms crossed.
RPG's like Shadowrun combine stuff like Katanas and modern weaponry in a way that makes sense. Because no questions asked.If you want the complete opposite, check out some Videos on the very first Level of Dark Souls 1. A bit ironic, since most Forts are neither thriving nor healthful, instead mostly dead and infested with every variety of Demon, Zombie or Stepmother. Zombiemurderhooray".Death scenes!If there's one genre where dying is actually fun sometimes, it's horror. Meanwhile my newly enlisted Fanboys watch the screen as if I had just sacrificed a goat on the Keyboard. That "holier than thou" pose, that allways makes me want to feed these kinds of people their shoes.I supressed a yawn.
And provide non-gunners with clever ways to work around getting pumped full of lead, until they resemble the body double of Tony Stark's suit. While the comedy of killing goons comes from either them being weak or a total lack of reason behind murdering tons of dudes, Dark Souls invokes the humour by basically making the player go "Oh REALLY?!" everytime he runs around a corner.
Easily proven by the fact that there are 20-40 minute-videos with almost 1 million views on Youtube, for both RE and Dead Space, only showing character deaths. A few clicks later their passwords are reset."Cool, thanks!"Statistically (At least for me), the only nice words im gonna hear all day.

And after looking for sign of a blunt impact to his cranium, I noticed how spiffy he was looking. Heck, even the environments tend to be built with this in mind.But World of Warcraft just went overboard with it here and there, and the Roleplayers basically end up as the last nail in the coffin. The Asylum Demon is pretty much the games way of going "Oh im SURE you can handle this one, Florence.", while making it extra ridicolous because you only have a hilt when you first see him. One of the perks of being an apprentice, was the fact that we could basically wear whatever we wanted, as long as it did not contain sex, drugs or war. To be fair, in settings with gun's present from the get go, the opposite happens often as well.
In any other game, I would've assumed that there'd be a little cutscene of me getting a weapon, or someone saving my ass or at least me having some sick martial arts. The only way out of this castle is a SINGLE locked door, and the only key is 50 doors, 25 monsters and 3 badly rendered cutscenes away, in a deep cellar, with only one entrance and NO lightsources.
Women are usually a bit more contained than the old crusty assholes, there are exceptions tough."Hi Miss. This meant I was the one person usually wearing a cannibal corpse T-shirt in a building where everyone else was wearing suits.
And naturally, your support character cant go there himself because he's terribly busy  enjoying his finally fapping-session in a cupboard somewhere. As it adds replay value and at least provides the option to see what would happen if Shepard would've been an asshole at the "Should we nuke the Orphanage"-meeting. It really amazes me how people desperately try to break out of their provided setting in this way, and try to break the system. In many ways, I imagine the game just being a dude in a control room, hammering the red "Fuck you."-Button everytime it seems im either having Fun, or advancing too rapidly. But especially with Bioware, I often find that they waste tons of potential by just defaulting to the "Jesus or Satan"-variant of the moral choice option.
Trying to play the Terminator in TES, or playing Zoro in Call of Duty.The special snowflake is not a very new site in Roleplaying, especially in MMO's where basically everyone can participate.
The Dead Space Guy's Girlfriend basically called him every now and then to remind him of the tits he cant touch, while the other cast was busy calling over to inform you that the power fell out (Oh, that's NEW?!) and that everything is terribly fucked everywhere. They also kill nearby puppies and send signals to the mothership, proclaiming that the time is ripe for the harvesters to lay eggs in your wife.
I dont even wanna know if this becomes a trend, 300 would've been a lot shorte when the Persians had tanks. Hillariously, the players tend to act this up to a  glorious level of panic when they play. Dwarf Fortress usually spawns enough material for borderline-crazy Storylines, of Forts dooming themselves via flooding the entire world with Magma, summoning Satan, or just being mauled to death by various creatures (including flying skeleton whales, because why the fuck not, Urist?). RE also has either the villains calling you all the time to call you a faggot, or also useless supporting cast screaming how fucked everything is.The final verdict, I tend to watch some of the horrorgames with sarcastic glee, especially since you're not the one getting raped by cosmic space monstrosities Instead you're a fat neckbeard laughing from the sidelines. The downside of the Internet is the fact that it makes people think they know stuff."You're talking about electro smog.
Most Boss fights consist of running in circles going "ohshitohshitohshit christsake", followed by screams of frustration when you get a Halberd stuck up your ass.Lastly, we have one-time wonders.
If you dont care about graphics, and are about as batshit insane as the drooling moron that writes this Blog, go for it.
And the absolute worst I heard of that is that some people have a hard time sleeping near some electronic devices. So, if you went with "Whatever." one too many times, Shepard will basically throw all his shit in a serious situation and the game wont allow a satisfying outcome. 5 Minutes later I stand in her office, switching the button on the Keyboard from "Off" to "On".
The first one even locked a lot of the responses behind a skill.ME 2 and 3 improved it a LITTLE.
At least you didnt have to dump skillpoints into an arbitary skill, but they still insisted on going either full Paragon or full Renegade to get any satisfying conclusions. I know the game is loved by many, and im not saying it's bad, but the ending really soured it for me. I distinctively remember me and a very good friend getting to the end Boss of Borderlands 2. I moved the thing into the storage cabin next door, which had about the same coverage, with the exception of not covering Salad-Jesuses office. Sadly, the difficult decision making only really happens in a  handful of situations, and is predetermined from the start in almost all others.
The Game is fantastic, you are a dude trying to resurrect his dead Girlfriend, by making a deal with a trapped ghost-creature in a temple.
Where there is around 4seconds of stunned silence, before both start yapping like little japanese dogs, yelling at each other to "KILL IT DAMMIT!".
Most people I know play the game once, and then watch the respective other half on Youtube. Guy asks you to kill 16 Colossi, spread around the landscape, and everytime you kill one, a weird black cloud exits their corspes and enters your character. All Keyboard or Mouse related.I manage to code for about 2 hours, before one of the Electronics-teachers almost bangs down my door with force. And soon other teachers with AP's in their rooms showed up, basically calling me a terrorist and demanding these satanic devices removed from their offices.
Which meant that instead of getting drunk or garroting prostitutes, I was doing extra work for people that read too many conspiracy sites.The very next week, the very same people stood inside my office again. I briefly entertained the notion of either pretending that all my contact with electronics had caused crippling brain-cancer, or making use of google translate."No hablo espanol. Anyway, the OBVIOUS „I'm gonna get pulled over the table" aside, the bossfights are fantastic, the artstyle is great, the game is fantastic. Ir a casa su retard."The problem this time around, the fact that I had to move my little babies elsewhere, meant that most teacher offices were now going without WLAN. Which is a clear case of "He who doth not praise thine Techguy, be damned to an eternity of going without porn, Jackass."It took the combined effort of my boss and some powerpoint-holdin reject from some other company to disperse the rumours going around school. Of course, completely unexpectedtly, the trapped guy betrays us, and it's revealed that he was trapped there by humans, because he's actually a evil demon (O rly, Sargeras?). And afterwards I was allowed to deploy the AP's again, with the added rule of "They have to be as far away from the actual workplace as possible." Some of the teachers actually used rulers to see If I had paid attention to that.
As your character is consumed by this force and turned into a giant demon, the people who trapped him there (Or their descendants, whatever.) enter the temple, kick some Demon Butt and seal him up again. In a final cutscene, Girlfriend rises from the dead, only to discover that her boyfriend is nowhere to be found. First thing after the ending, I tried to see if there was some locked hidden ending, by finishing the game on the hardest difficulty while squatting or some shit like that.
The Plottwist could've basically been engraved into the altar from the start, and then it just let's the player fill up the stuff it was too lazy to write. Shadow is a really great game, but it ended on a tone that really made me resent the whole thing. I'll just go with the explanation that the entire cast is crushed by a giant flappy Colossus-Boner that fell from the sky, because fuck those guys.

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